Mixed (A Recipe for Love Book 3) by Lane Martin (8)

It was Valentine’s Day and to say the last month had been crazy would’ve been the understatement of the year. Logan didn’t like the idea of Edward showing up at my sister’s apartment looking for me, so at his “request” (read that: demand) I’d packed up my bags and moved to his place that night. Edward must not have bought Emily’s story I was out to sea because Eric had put surveillance on her apartment and sure enough, he’d been lurking. What Edward wanted I wasn’t sure. He didn’t know I was pregnant; maybe if he had known, he would have run the other direction. I told Logan, my sister, Eric, and Tank I could handle myself with Edward, but they wouldn’t let me just confront him. I’d made this bed. If I’d had only broken-up with him face to face in the first place, he probably wouldn’t have followed me. It wasn’t like we were in love or anything. Of course, at first, I was attracted to him. Now that it was over, I struggled to remember what I ever saw in him. Maybe that was partly because no man I’d ever been involved with, held a candle to Logan. It scared the shit out of me. About a week after Edward showed up; he was gone. Poof. I knew the guys knew something and weren’t telling Emily or me. What they were protecting us from, I had no idea. But I got the distinct impression my twin and I were better off not knowing the details of Edward’s sudden departure. Declan wasn’t here, but he still seemed like a guy who was well connected. After all, the Irish mob was the oldest crime group in the United States. Anyway, Edward was long gone yet I was still there at Logan’s apartment. Our apartment.

“Ready?” I asked my bump as Logan walked back in the room. I swore the moment I admitted to my sister I was pregnant, there was no hiding it. Don’t even get me started on people touching my belly. When did it become socially acceptable to just walk up to a stranger and touch them? Fuck that! Logan had bought me several t-shirts to try and warn people; “Touching my bump may result in a high-five to your face,” “Didn’t your mother teach you not to touch the oven while it’s on?”, “I’m making a human what have you done today,” and “I’m pregnant, not furry. Don’t pet me.” were some of my favorites. I’d cried when he got me the one that said: “If you didn’t put it in here, then don’t touch it.” I knew I was hormonal, but come on. He’d loved this baby since the first day he glimpsed her grainy black and white image sucking her thumb. Things were too perfect, too good. Perfect wasn’t how things played out when you were me.

“She’s ready, but the doctor said you need to drink this.” Logan had always believed the baby was a girl. I did too, but I didn’t dare tell him. Each time he said “she” I joked, “he.” The argument usually led to a “fight” which always led to us between the sheets, or against the wall, or on his desk. The desk, oh the desk. Here we thought we were being so clever about hiding our relationship from our co-workers. Yeah, right. Not that it mattered. The day after I moved into Logan’s apartment, a revised policy about workplace dating appeared that stated owners were exempt from the previous relationship rule. Color me surprised when I found out Logan was part owner of the restaurant, Swayed. Even so, we attempted to keep our relationship private and professional. Unbeknownst to us, the restaurant staff had a wager going on when we would come out as a couple. Mikey won three hundred bucks on “boom night” as it would forever be called. Luckily, we were still closed when we broke the desk in Logan’s office, and everyone heard the crash. Whoops. Maybe we should try recreating it. “I’ve seen that look. We don’t have time.” Busted. He knew me so well. “Drink.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I lied as I drank. I thought it was the water Logan always pushed on me to drink, but it was juice instead. I swore the guy knew more about pregnancy than me and I was the one who was knocked up.

“And the Pope’s not Catholic.” He countered. “Juice will make her more active for the ultrasound,” he explained as he motioned for me to finish it.

“Great, just what I need, a full bladder with a ninja kicking me from the inside.” Apparently, those flutters I was feeling were kicks. “I swear by the time this kid is born I’m going to have internal bruising.” Logan wrapped his arms around me from behind, his hands resting protectively on the stranger danger area. He placed his chin on my shoulder and looked at us in the mirror. I’d never felt something so all-consuming before, and no, it wasn’t just the hormones, it was Logan. Today was the second busiest day of the year for Swayed and yet he was here for me. It wasn’t even a question where he would be today. When I’d tried to explain why I’d scheduled the appointment for today, he’d kissed me until I’d stopped talking. He got it. Why I’d wanted to do this today. Logan knew as well as I did Emily needed the distraction on this day reserved for celebrating love. It got me to thinking.

“Does anyone in your family know you’re dating pregzilla?” I was wearing my latest t-shirt with a warning to stay clear with dinosaur claws. It wasn’t the first time I had inquired about Logan’s family and this time his reaction was no different.

“Let’s go; we’re going to be late.” As always, he changed the subject. The only clue I ever got was when he called the baby “Charo,” which meant beautiful flower. And once when he made something called Ropa Vieja that his “abuela” taught him to cook. Spanish words that matched his olive skin tone, but that was all I had to go on. Just like me, the guy could pack everything he owned in one duffle bag. It was sad when you thought about it. I wanted my child to have what I had growing up: a mother, father, siblings, and a home. I’d known we were far from perfect, but my mom and sister had always been there for me. Especially now, I didn’t understand why I’d doubted them for a second. They loved this baby. As far as my dad, I sent him a text every now and again. Until they were apart, I’d never really realized my mother was the person that kept our family connected. She never allowed him to be absent. She was the reason he came to our soccer games. Mom was the reason we had presents and cake on our birthday. It’s not that he didn’t care, it just wasn’t his role. And now that mom no longer filled it for him, our father was a little lost to us. His new much too young for a man his age wife didn’t help things either. Maybe the same thing happened to Logan’s family. No family was without fault.

“Are you guys sure about this?” I couldn’t remember the last time I saw my sister smile so bright. She tried to pretend she was okay, but I knew she still missed Declan. I’m her twin, and I felt it every time we did something with her and our couple friends. I thought it was one of the reasons she’d become so close to Willow and her daughter, Fay. Yes, Willow had a husband, Dillon, but he was currently deployed. Emily wouldn’t admit to it, but it was probably the same status she liked to give Declan. Deployed. Like Willow, she didn’t know where he was. She hoped he would come back to her. The difference was Dillon contacted his wife and daughter every chance he got. Declan was still sending Forget-Me-Nots, but the florist no longer delivered them to Emily at her request. The reminder was too much for her, but leave it to my sister to find the perfect place to send them. Brookdale was a nursing facility for people with Alzheimer’s. She claimed if they provided just a single spark of memory it would be worth it.

Logan looked to me for confirmation. We had just walked, or waddled in my case, out of our twenty-week ultrasound appointment. Emily held the sealed envelope that would announce the sex of the inmate I was carrying to the world. OK, the world was a bit of an exaggeration, but with the way, the guest list to the reveal party was growing it sure felt that way. Mom was even coming out from California. I told her to wait for the baby shower, but she insisted she wasn’t about to miss the gender reveal of her first grandchild.

I nodded my confirmation, and Logan answered for us, “We’re sure.” I knew it was my baby and my decision, but I wanted to include the man who held my hair back when I puked and got up to make me blueberry cream cheese stuffed French toast after only being asleep two hours because I had a craving. This baby may not have been Logan’s by blood, but it was his by choice, and in my book, that made him even more special than he already was. Logan kissed my sister on the cheek, “I better get over the Swayed. Tonight is going to be crazy.” I was going in later. He then turned his attention to me before leaving. Public displays of affection weren’t my thing in the past, but with Logan, I’d take his lips on mine any day, any place, anytime I could get them.

“Get a room.” Emily teased. I mean give me a break, it was Valentine’s Day, and love was in the air. Logan slipped away from me. Yeah, we both looked like a couple of lovesick fools, commercial holiday or not.

“Take care of my girls M.” The goodbye was so sweet I didn’t have the heart to tease him the baby was a boy. Emily and I watched Logan in silence until he disappeared into the crowd.

“We better get going if we are going to make this appointment on time.” Emily was right.

“Yep,” was my simple reply.

“Are you sure you want to do this without Logan?” I wasn’t a crier. OK, I wasn’t a crier, before. I’d like to blame the baby, but this time it would be a lie.

“I don’t want to do anything without him. That’s the problem M.” I didn’t know when it happened. Hell, I didn’t know how it happened. I was okay with having my baby on my own. I didn’t want or need Edward, that was for sure. But, Logan was a different story altogether. But this, this not knowing could hurt him, and that was the last thing I wanted. I also needed to protect my child. Our child if he wanted what I did.

The office wasn’t anything like I’d expected. I’d always thought law offices were supposed to be all dark mahogany wood and burgundy leather like you see on television. This one looked more like something you would see in an Ikea showroom with its clean lines and bright colors. And Sheldon Bannon, Esquire wasn’t the old geezer I’d imagined he would be either. Aren’t lawyers supposed to be old and wear ugly suits?

“You must be Libby.” I guessed it was obvious since I was the size of a whale. He was cute and must’ve registered the look of surprise in both mine and Emily’s eyes. “You, I imagine are her twin sister, and yes, I’m old enough to be a lawyer.” A giggle escaped me. I didn’t fucking giggle. He wasn’t wearing a jacket, and his shirt sleeves were rolled up. Nice arms, but they weren’t covered in tattoos like Logan’s. “Please have a seat.” He earned points for pretending my sister, and I weren’t ogling him like he was the captain of the football team, and he just sat at our table in the lunchroom. “And you are?”

“I’m her sister Emily.” Duh. He smiled, and it was like one of those infomercials. You know the ones. Something about his million-dollar smile reminded me he was charging me by the hour. I may have had champagne taste, but I was on a beer budget, so it was time to cut to the chase.

“I had some questions about parental rights.” Sheldon, as he asked we call him, explained that a father’s rights could not be terminated before a baby was born. Basically, without a baby, the father had no rights, so the child had to be born before anything could be changed. Sheldon also advised me against putting Logan’s name on the birth certificate instead of Edward’s because it could be considered fraud. Going to jail or risking my baby being taken from me because I lied wasn’t an option. It crossed my mind to leave the father information blank, but wouldn’t that hurt Logan more than seeing Edward’s name? Leaving it blank implied he or she didn’t have a father, she did, it just wasn’t who I wanted it to be. Logan has loved this baby from the start. If that wasn’t a father, what was? I left the office feeling frustrated. Sheldon suggested I put the biological father on the birth certificate in case I needed support. The idea of Edward having anything to do with my baby made me sick.

Emily hugged me tightly once we left the office. “It will all work out.” How could she still be so optimistic? The man she loved told her he loved her in a letter and left. That was two months ago. Sometimes I wished I could be more like my twin. To me, this just seemed like another thing to add to a long list of screws ups I’d made. I was having a baby, and I’d met a wonderful man, but wait there was more because he wasn’t the baby daddy and the guy who was, well he was a piece of crap. Welcome to my shit show.

The appointment took longer than I thought it would and I needed some retail therapy with Emily once it was over. I still wasn’t much of a shopper, but shopping for Logan made it bearable. I felt a little better, but now I needed to rush back to the apartment to shower and change for work, plus I had a few surprises up my sleeve for my guy. We agreed we weren't going to do anything for Valentine’s Day, but for once in my life, I had a man I wanted to make feel as special as he made me feel. He did so much for me and never complained or asked for anything in return. He deserved this. I rushed into the apartment and put down the bags deciding I needed to do something with the pile of mail that had accumulated on the kitchen counter. The guys in the kitchen would never let Logan hear the end of it if they spotted this mess. I picked up the pile and opened the junk drawer with the intention of sliding the mail inside. I’d never even looked at it, it was all Logan’s. One envelope fell from the stack. After putting the rest in the drawer, I bent to retrieve the stray envelope, and the back caught my eye. Along the top center it read:

What the actual fuck? I nearly fell on my ass when I flipped it over and noticed it was explicitly addressed to Logan Wheeler with the return address of:

Holy shit! I guess I knew the reason Logan never talked about his family. It made me wonder if I’d even known the man I had fallen hopelessly in love with, the one I’d wanted to be my baby’s daddy. It turned out; I still sucked at picking men. My list of failures was longer than Santa’s naughty and nice list combined.

I found myself thinking about her less and less all the time. I was sure it had to do with a hot little mamma that not only occupied my bed but also my mind most of the time. But today would always be a day she was on my mind, right along with the day I met said, hot mamma. Funny, how with Libby, those two dates going forward would be forever changed. Everybody who knew me thought I hated Valentine’s Day because it was one of the hardest days of the year in the restaurant business. Me, I welcomed the busy day. No, I disliked it because she’d loved it so much. Christmas was never big, I mean sure, we had our traditions, but we really couldn’t afford gifts. Love day, as she’d liked to call it, was a different story. She always declared it didn’t cost anything and we were blessed with an unlimited supply of love to give. I’d never understood how she felt that way. She had loved, and it had cost her everything. I’d never thought it was worth the risk, until now.