Cole

 

I had to hand it to her. Joie sure knew how to make an exit. You’d never guess it, but she certainly has a flair for drama. Wishing with all my heart I didn’t have to, I got out of my car and faced the music. And by music, I mean Brianna. One thing I kind of liked about Brianna was her predictability. With Joie one never knew what one was going to get. Moody. Sweet. Contemplative. Playful. Sad. Hyper. Unresponsive. There was no end to the different Joie’s all smashed into her tiny little body.

Brianna, on the other hand, wasn’t such a mixed bag. Brianna was driven by getting the most bang for her buck. Take me for instance. For whatever reason, I’m at the top of the high school hierarchy. In this particular microcosm, I somehow floated to the top. Am I better looking than all the other guys in my school? Maybe. Am I a better athlete than everyone else? Sometimes. Am I the best student? Meh. Am I the nicest? The smartest? The hardest worker? The biggest whatever? No. I’m not. But I am probably just a little bit of all those things, plus I have a great family supporting me and have had a charmed life for the most part.

And so there I was, sitting on top of the world. And more than anything else Brianna wanted to be on top of the world, with me if she had to, but without would be okay, too. If I had to guess, Brianna saw me as her ticket. Next year I would go play football at Notre Dame. And if all my hard work pays off, I will enter the NFL Draft at the end of my four years. And Brianna thinks she sees her future playing out right by my side.

I had no delusions about our relationship. If my buddy, Brent, or any of those guys were at the top, Brianna would be dating one of them. It’s fine. I knew this going in. My emotions were not engaged. I cared about Brianna. And she was gorgeous. And honestly, if my life pans out the way it could, she would be lovely arm candy for a long, long time.

When I hit puberty, my dad sat down with me and had The Talk. You know the one, I don’t need to go into any details. He walked me through the changes and the feelings and impressed upon me the virtues of cold showers and long runs. The summer before high school, my dad sat me down again. This time his talk had nothing to do with my body and changes but had everything to do with girls.

According to my dad, I had a responsibility. My responsibility was protection. And not the kind you’re thinking about. Although, he talked to me about that, too. His advice was that I shouldn’t ever need it if I was taking the other part of my responsibility seriously. Dad told me about girls and their insecurities. He told me about looking outside of myself and my wants and desires, to be aware of what a girl needs and wants. He told me about respect and trust and love. And being the smart aleck, I was, I told him I already knew all this stuff. I’d been watching him all my life, hadn’t I?

So, that summer when I was so hell bent on making Joie my girlfriend, I thought about all the things my dad had taught me. I was respectful. Loyal. I worked to be as worthy as I could be. I loved her.

And it was perfect.

Until it wasn’t.

My heart was broken, and I vowed to never give another girl that kind of power over me. So, Brianna was perfect. She didn’t expect more from me than a fast-track ticket to the top. She got her popularity and I got some pretty sweet make out sessions and we were good. We never fought or argued. She loved it that I was the star of the team, so she never gave me a hard time about practice. She and her friends loved to shop and do their girl stuff, so I had time to hang out with the guys.

Perfect.

Getting out of my car, it occurred to me the only thing we hadn’t really had to deal with in our relationship- jealousy. While my heart may not have been engaged, my behavior was all in. In eight months, I had never given Brianna any reason to doubt my complete and utter devotion to her. And in one short car ride from the high school to my house, Joie had ripped it all to shreds.

I couldn’t even feel sorry about it, except I didn’t want to face the firing squad.

“Since when are you buddy-buddy with Joie Warner?” Brianna’s posture warned me she was gearing up for a fight. Hands on hips. Lips in a firm line. Eyebrow cocked angrily.

“Are you coming in,” I asked on a long sigh. Without waiting for her to answer, I trudged up the walk to the front steps. Inside, the house glowed warmly. I wished I could just take Brianna home and curl up on my bed with SportsCenter and my Calculus homework.

Brianna’s heels clicked loud on the icy drive and I figured I should have let her hold onto me, so she didn’t fall. Angry breaths accompanied her steps and any compulsion I felt to be a gentleman waned.

Holding open the front door, I allowed her to storm passed me.

“Cole, is that you,” my mom called from the kitchen.

“Yeah, Bri and I are gonna do homework in the basement.” Brianna wasn’t allowed in my room. Mom caught us kissing one time and that was the end. So, whenever she came over we had to hang out in the basement. It was fine. The basement was comfortable, and no one came down there that much anyway. Although, I was certain my mom regularly sent Macy down to spy on us.

“Hi Brianna,” mom said peeking around the corner from the kitchen. “Cole, I saved you a plate when you’re hungry.”

“Thanks, mom.” I grabbed Brianna’s hand and pulled her down the stairs.

“Cole, stop it!” Brianna tugged her hand, but I held on.

Once we were down the steps, I took several steps into the room and then pulled her close. Without preamble, I kissed her, hoping to soften the blow when she lit into me about Joie. I didn’t really want to break up with Brianna. We were good together. But I also knew I wouldn’t give up anything Joie related to be with her. It would be better to just convince her that she was all I wanted.

“Cole-” she pulled her lips from mine and I leaned forward connecting again while my fingers played with her skin at her waist. One thing about Brianna, she was never afraid to show some skin.

I didn’t let up until I felt some of the tension leave her shoulders and she began to kiss me back. I told myself I wasn’t a coward. That I just wanted to reassure her about her place in my life. After another moment (for good measure), I lifted my mouth from hers and buried my face in her hair as I held her.

Her arms came around my waist almost reluctantly. “Cole.” My name came breathy and resigned from her lips.

I kissed that soft spot under her ear and I swear she purred. Much better. I liked the contented cat much better than the feisty one.

“Mmm-hmm,” I asked, my teeth toying with her ear.

“Oh, forget it,” she murmured, letting her head fall back, giving me easier access to her neck.

That’s what I’m talking about.