Joie

 

I knew Cole. He would sit there until I told him.

“Four. I’m off at four. Okay,” I huffed, reaching for the handle to open the door. Yanking my bag off the floor, I swung one pajama clad leg out onto the icy pavement. Just as I was about to lift myself out of the car, I paused. “Thank you, Cole.” I owed him that.

He didn’t reply, just nodded. And while he waited to make sure I opened the door, he was gone before I could close it again.

My job at the realty office was easy enough and once I was dressed in the extra set of clothes I kept stashed in my backpack, I sat at the front desk and put on the headset. Ready. It would be another fifteen minutes before any of the realtors came into the office and even then, it could be longer if any of them had showings.

I’d been working there for two years. Mr. Russell, the principal of my high school, was married to the senior partner of the firm and had recommended me after I worked for a semester in the front office at the school. The job had been a godsend. Not only did it provide me with an escape from my every day, I earned enough to save up a nice little college fund for myself. A fund my mother knew nothing about.

Every month I left her an envelope with two hundred dollars cash. I didn’t feel like I owed her or anything. But at least it kept me from feeling guilty when she came asking for money and I told her no. The crazy thing was she made good money. Back before my dad died, she used to be an author. She wrote romance novels and a couple of successful sci-fi/fantasy series. Every month like clockwork, she received a royalty check. Between that and my dad’s insurance money, we should have been doing fine. And we would be, if she could get her act together.

Whatever. I didn’t care anymore. Three years ago, I decided I didn’t need anybody. Not my dad. Not my mom. And definitely not Cole. Once I graduated high school, I wouldn’t have to rely on anybody for anything.  USC couldn’t come fast enough.

 

Cole

 

Of course, I knew Joie lied to me. She didn’t get off at four, which meant she probably got off at three. She had to know I would show up to give her a ride home since she didn’t have her bike. By her way of thinking, I would show up at four and she wouldn’t have to deal with me about it because she’d already be gone. But there was no way I was letting her walk home two and a half miles in twenty-degree weather.

I pulled up to the curb across the street from the realtor’s office at fifteen minutes to three. From the front seat of my car, I saw her sitting at her desk, talking into her headset. Goodness, she was adorable. She worked hard to hide how beautiful she was, but I knew how to look past the nerdy clothes, too big glasses, no makeup, and messy bun. Joie had always been a cute little thing, but over the last couple of years she’d turned into a real beauty. I could easily picture her outshining Brianna and her friends. A pair of contacts and the right clothes and Joie would be the new queen of Cambridge High. Not that I wanted her to do that necessarily, I’m just saying she could if she wanted.

Waiting for her, I watched as she twirled a loose strand of hair around her finger. Her feet pushed against the floor causing her office chair to swivel back and forth. I couldn’t help but wish things had turned out differently. I couldn’t help but think about the last summer we spent together before everything went straight to shit.

 

Summer- three and a half years ago

“Joie, come on! Let’s ride down to the creek,” I begged. I was about to lose my mind with boredom. How could my best friend be content to read under a shade tree when this was the first week of summer vacation and we hadn’t done anything fun yet? I poked her ribs with my finger.

“Just one more chapter, Cole. Jeez.” Joie scooted away from my hand which was tickling her side.

“You said that an hour ago.” I could have gone to play basketball with the guys, but Joie was wearing her swimsuit and like the horndog teenage boy I was, I didn’t want to miss out on seeing her in it. Plus, I really, really, really wanted to go to the creek, just me and her. I’ve been trying to work up the courage to kiss Joie for months and today was the day. If our friendship had a chance of morphing into more, I didn’t want to waste any of this summer being a chicken. We’ve spent every summer together since we were five and this year we were going to spend it with Joie as my girlfriend. I wanted to hold her hand. I wanted to put my arm around her and hug her anytime she’d let me. I wanted to kiss her silly.

With a sigh, Joie turned the last page of her stupid teen romance novel. Didn’t she know we could be living that book, rather than her just reading it?

“All done,” she announced, closing the book with a snap.

“Yes!” Without waiting another second, I jumped to my feet and held out my hand. Grinning, Joie took hold of it and I pulled her to her feet.

Oh, man. I’d had a growth spurt recently and for the first time, I was a few inches taller than her rather than the same height. I’d been working out, too, getting ready to play football our freshman year. I wanted to be fit when two-a-days started in eight weeks. My height and bulk made me feel invincible. I knew I wasn’t fully grown yet, but being bigger and stronger than Joie, made me feel like I could finally protect her, that I finally had something to offer. Her standing in front of me, looking up at me with her trusting golden eyes, which for once- thanks to her new contacts- weren’t hidden behind her glasses...oh, yeah. I was going to kiss her today.

“You ready to go to the creek?” And dang if my freaking voice didn’t crack! I cleared my throat.

Joie grinned. She knew how much that annoyed me. It’s provided her with a couple of years’ worth of entertainment. Thankfully, it only happened now when I was all geared up thinking about her. On second thought, I’m not thankful for that at all.

“I’m ready. Let’s go.” And she was off, pulling me along with her. I just barely managed to grab the bag we’d packed earlier.

“Hey!” I laughed. But she didn’t stop running, just smiled over her shoulder, tugging on my hand, begging me to follow her. If she only knew, I’d follow her anywhere.

 

That smile has haunted me for years. We didn’t have many carefree days back then. Things were complicated with Joie. But sometimes, we forgot about all that and just were. That day was one of the best times. And that smile, that twinkle of happiness in her eyes? I’d give just about anything to see that expression on her face just one more time.

At exactly five minutes after three, Joie walked out and locked the door to the office behind her. She hiked her backpack higher on her shoulders and wrapped a scarf around her neck. I knew it! Feeling anxious and upset, I shifted into drive and flipped a u-ey so I was on the same side of the road as her. I rolled down the window.

“Hop in.”

“No,” she replied, her eyes held resolutely forward.

Sighing, I recognized the stubborn set of her jaw. She wasn’t going to make this easy on me.

 

Joie

 

I should have known. It was like the last three years hadn’t even happened. Cole still thought he had to save me. Well, he didn’t. I didn’t need him giving me rides. I didn’t need him watching out for me.

“Come on. It’s freezing. I’m already here.” Cole thought I was being ridiculous. I could hear it in the tone of his voice as he followed me down the street. But he didn’t get it. He didn’t understand. I couldn’t start relying on him. I didn’t want to need him. “Joie! Get in the car!”

Stopping short, I whirled to face him. “We aren’t doing this, Cole!” I waved my fingers between us so he didn’t misunderstand what I meant.

His jaw hardened. “Fine. But this is stupid. You need a ride and I’m here. So, get in.”

He was right, and it made me angry. I felt manipulated. And weak. I hated both of those things.

Cole reached across the passenger seat and opened the door from the inside. “It’s cold, Jo. Just get in.” His voice was soft. Concerned. And it broke me. Sighing, I settled into the seat and closed the door.

“Thank you.” My voice was barely above a whisper. Cole just nodded and cranked the heat up as high as it would go.

We rode in silence for the five minutes it took to get to our street. Cole backed into his driveway and we sat facing my house. I knew I should get out of the car, and even though I knew it was a bad idea because this was the first time in a long time I really felt safe, I just didn’t want to leave.

Cole didn’t move either, just sat quietly. I could tell he was struggling to not say something. His clenched fists were a dead giveaway.

“Just say it,” I sighed, holding my hands in my lap.

He didn’t even pretend to not know what I was talking about. “You can’t go back in there.”

“I live there, Cole. Where else am I supposed to go?” I was resigned to my life. Every day I crossed off another square on my calendar. Every day was another day closer to leaving. I could make it another day.

“Stay here. Stay with me. Mom and dad would love to have you-”

“Are you crazy? I can’t just move in with you.” Shaking my head, I moved to open the door to get out of his car.

He stopped me with his hand on my arm. I glanced from his strong fingers to his handsome face. Cole had grown into quite the heartthrob. Just looking at him, my heart raced. Even pinched with worry, his face was smoking hot.

“What is going on, then?” His gaze shot toward my house. “Jo, seriously, what is going on?”

“Nothing. Everything is fine. Today was just,” my voice trailed off. I didn’t want to admit anything to him. It would just make him feel even more responsible for me. “I can’t do this, Cole. I don’t need you to rescue me and offer me a place to stay.” Sighing, I pulled on the handle to open the door. “I appreciate your help today. I really do. I have to go.”

Pushing myself up out of his car, I grabbed my backpack and headed down the driveway to the street separating our houses. His door slammed shut and footsteps pounded behind me as he jogged to catch up.

“Jo, wait!” He stopped me again, this time with a hand on my elbow. I jerked it from his grasp. He frowned but didn’t comment.

“I need to get home.” My house was dark and empty. I figured it would be a few days before she came home again. That always was the case after a day like today. Hopefully, I wouldn’t run into Tattoo Man ever again.

“Are you sure it’s safe. That guy,” Cole’s brows furrowed.

I had to set him straight. “Look, I appreciate you worrying about me. I really do. But don’t. Just don’t. I have a lock on my door. I know how to be careful.” Except today. I hadn’t been expecting that guy to be waiting for me on the front lawn.

Cole read my mind. “Yeah, what about this morning? If I hadn’t shown up, what would you have done?”

I shook my head. “Mom wouldn’t have let him hurt me.” I hoped that was true, but deep down, I wondered. Why would she let a guy like that in our house?

Disbelieving. That was the only word to describe the expression on Cole’s face. I didn’t have time for this. “Can you be there for auditions a week from Wednesday? We’re having them at seven in the auditorium.”

Cole sighed, not appearing at all surprised by the change in conversation. “Yeah, I can be there.”

“Great. Thanks for the ride home.” I was leaving this time. I wasn’t going to let him stop me. I wasn’t going to let anything stop me.

Inside the house was quiet, just like I thought it would be. She wasn’t there, and I was thankful she never allowed anyone to stay when she wasn’t home. I took the time to make myself a warm dinner of boxed macaroni and cheese and a microwaved hot dog. After eating, I made my way into my room and locked the door behind me. I checked the window and the closet and even under my bed. Reassured that I really was alone, I finally relaxed.