Whoever came up with physical therapy must have been part of some Venezuelan torture squad because I felt utterly drained. Exhausted, and in so much pain I could hardly see straight. But it was only Wednesday afternoon and I still had hours of work left to go.

Today was the last day of training so if I could just get through the day, I wouldn’t have to spend hours and hours alone with Colt. The man drove me insane. He was everywhere, always smiling at me and touching me in those soft gentle caresses, those familiar brushes that drove me crazy. Made me want him. And then his scent! Why did he have to smell so damn good? I couldn’t escape his smiling, smoldering blue eyes. Whenever I closed my own, his eyes were there, splitting me open and making me relive the past.

The worst part? I really liked the man he’d become. Colt was smart and ambitious, determined and dedicated to his company and employees. It was clear to me that they both liked and admired him, which made it hard for me to hang on to my anger.

And Sharpe Focus, hell it was everything a security firm should be. Impressive, diverse and fully competent. In moments of quiet contemplation, I could admit to feeling proud of all that Colt had accomplished, but I also felt envious. The death of our love, for him, had been for the best because it allowed him to continue on his set path and achieve his goals. For me it was a pain I could never escape. Instead of continuing my education or joining the FBI as I intended, I got my degree and took the first law enforcement job I found.

Look how that ended up.

I took a few deep breaths as I entered the tall grey building that housed Sharpe Focus and smiled at the pretty middle aged office manager.

“Hi Ann. I got you a nutmeg latte.” The woman helped me a lot over the past few days and I knew she rarely left her desk.

“Oh bless you Jaya!” She grabbed the cup with both hands and took a long, soothing sip. “So good.”

Did I enjoy anything like that anymore? I knew I didn’t, but I knew Mom was right about one thing. I had to try to enjoy my life again. Not that I enjoyed it before. I enjoyed my job because I was damn good at it but my personal life had been a disaster since, well always.

“Do you know where I’ll be this afternoon?” I couldn’t waste time thinking like that. I needed to learn this job and put some distance between me and Colt.

“Colt wants you in logistics.” I doubt she meant it to sound as dirty as it did, but damn it gave me thoughts. Dirty thoughts I shouldn’t be having.

“Thanks,” I told her and made my way to the elevators. The first floor was for client meetings but I was headed to the third floor.

“Jaya, wait up!” I turned and found Ann breathless and smiling. “I have your badges and everything so you can come and go as you please. Colt will do your bio and hand scans, just remind him.” She left and I stepped inside the waiting elevator, using the time to toughen myself up. To steel myself against the onslaught of emotions Colt caused in me.

Colt was already inside the main logistics room waiting for me. Alone. I could stand for hours watching his strong, impressive profile. But I wouldn’t. That way lie madness.

“Hey Boss.”

He turned and smiled and I dug my fingernails into my palms to stop the way my heart, my body reacted to him. “Jaya. How was therapy?”

“Shitty, but I made it through so let’s focus on that.”

“I am glad to hear that. Come have a seat and we can do a few practice runs.”

He showed me the different software programs used and what each team would need based on the job and it all seemed easy enough even though it wasn’t in my skillset.

“Why do you think I’d be good at this Colt?” I could do it, of that I felt confident. But I needed to know why he thought so.

“Easy. You’re organized, borderline anal retentive. Your bossy as hell and you’ll do whatever it takes to get shit done.”

A smile played on my lips at his accurate assessment, but I didn’t want him to see how his compliment affected me.

We spent the next few hours setting up logistics for fake jobs until Colt felt certain I knew exactly what to do and who to call if I didn’t.

“Seems pretty straightforward. How long will I have to get them done?”

“As soon as the dates are nailed down, the logistics will begin and continue until our team lands back here.”

It sounded intensive, but this job was just the distraction I needed in my life, even if my boss was the biggest distraction of all.

“Okay. How many jobs are usually going at once?”

He looked away as he answered. “Anywhere from ten to thirty.” He grinned at my astonished look. “I told you we’re growing fast.”

“That’s warp speed Colt!”

That infectious grin crossed his face, caught me so off guard I didn’t notice his hand brushing my cheek until the smooth warm skin tingled. “Ah, my little Star Trek geek.”

Why did he have to say it with such affection? Everyday around him was a struggle and when he was sweet it reminded me too much of the boy I’d loved with all my heart, which forced me to think about him. About everything I’d lost.

I glared at him but the twitch of my lips gave me away. An escaped yawn served as a much-needed reminder that these long days were kicking my ass, and that I wasn’t at one hundred percent yet.

“Sorry. What’s next?”

Inky black brows rose in surprise. “Seriously Jaya? You can barely keep your eyes open. Let’s go. I’ll walk you to your car.”

“No need,” I shot up, swayed a little from the pain before rooting my feet to the ground. “I sold my car before coming home so I’m taking the train. See you in the morning.” I barely made it to the door before Colt’s hand wrapped around my bicep and stopped me in my tracks. “What?”

“I’ll take you home. Come on,” he said as he herded me to his office and then down to the parking garage. His hand stayed on my arm and it was too much closeness. Hell the day as a whole had been too much damned closeness and I needed a break before I did something stupid. Irrevocably stupid.

“Thanks for the ride.”

“Anytime Jaya,” he said, leaning close and pressing his body into mine as he pulled open the door on his black SUV. I knew what was about to happen and I couldn’t bring myself to stop it. Blue eyes smoldered as he licked his lips and lowered them to mine.

I should have stopped it but Colt’s mouth had always been one of my favorite things about him. And fuck me, he still knew how to use it. Soft and gentle at first, his mouth made love to mine. Licking my lips until he entered on a gasp and I welcomed him in, running my good hand through his close-cropped hair, loving the way the sharp edges felt against my hand, the way his mouth felt against mine. Then he angled my head, deepening the kiss until it burned so hot I felt sweat forming on my forehead, between my breasts. The kiss was a mix of past and present, good and bad, wanting and needing. Love and hate.

I leaned back and accepted everything he gave me, pressing my hips gently against his, moaning into his mouth at the feel of his cock so hard behind his zipper. So lost in the kiss I didn’t realize my hand was trailing up the ridges of his abs, the smooth skin covering hard muscles of his chest. He gasped and pressed his cock harder against me when my nail scraped his nipple.

“Fuck, Jaya,” he whispered and nibbled my ear.

Shit this felt so good. Better than anything I’d felt since the last time I was in Colt’s arms. And that thought pulled me up short and I broke our connection. My gaze landed on his chest, and sure enough I had opened all the buttons and let my hands roam his body.

“Shit. That shouldn’t have happened.”

He trapped my hand on his chest with a smug smile. “Should have happened sooner.” Leaning in and giving me another whiff of his earthy masculine scent that screamed sex, he whispered, “And I can’t wait to do it again.” He punctuated his words with another press of his hips, another fiery kiss that left me breathless and aching. “It’s been too long Jaya.”

Fuck yeah it had been too long. But it would be even longer. Like forever. I pushed at his chest and used my good arm to push up into the high seat of the SUV. I glared at him when he slid behind the wheel.

“I’m only accepting this ride because I’m exhausted. Don’t read more into it,” I warned with as stern an expression I could muster given my current state of arousal.

Colt, in response, only smirked.

The bastard.

***

 

The only thing I hated more than waking up early was moving, and today both were in order so my mood was angry with a side of annoyed. Still, I smiled when I found Mom had left me two mini breakfast sandwiches in the warming oven.

“You’re the best Mom,” I whispered and took them and a cup of coffee to the balcony for one last look at this beautiful view. The lake below, even on what looked to be a clear and sunny day, was fierce and intimidating. Like the city itself.

I would miss it here, but having my own space was important and the house I found in Wicker Park had plenty of space. Too much space according to Mom.

“What does a single woman need with five bedrooms?”

I didn’t need that many rooms. but I had two stories and a basement for what I paid to rent a two-bedroom apartment in Miami. It was a great deal and it was mine thanks to a quick fourteen-day escrow and a motivated seller. After another cup of coffee to steel myself for one-handed moving, the bell sounded indicating the movers had arrived. I opened the door and froze.

“Colt. What are you doing here?”

He snuck a look behind me at the boxes stacked against the wall and smirked. “How are you planning to move with one working arm?”

“There are these guys you pay to come grab your shit from one location and take it to another, ever heard of them? I believe they’re called professional movers.” I rolled my eyes and went back to my room to get my shoes and kick a few more boxes closer to the door.

Colt followed as I figured he would. “Why waste money on them when you work with some of the best physical specimens on the planet?” To make his point he flexed his biceps and I won’t lie, I ogled those golden muscles and imagined clinging to them as he slid deep inside my wet, aching body.

Damn I needed to get laid if Colt had this kind of an affect on me. “Because,” I crossed my arms to remind myself I didn’t want him. “Those specimens might like a day without heavy lifting.”

Why did it have to be Colt that woke my body up this way? I’d had a few relationships over the years, none of them serious or long lasting, and none of them ever made me feel half of what I felt this past week with Colt. If this didn’t stop we’d find ourselves in bed together soon. And I couldn’t let that happen.

“Nah. They’re happy to do it, and with our help it’ll take half the time.” When I didn’t respond, he smiled. “They’re downstairs waiting for the okay to come up and start hauling boxes.”

I should be mad but it would take half the time which meant I could spend the rest of the weekend unpacking.

“Seriously?”

“Yep.” Without waiting he shot off a text and walked around me, scanning the room. “What else do we need to do?”

“Nothing. These boxes are all that I have here and we’ll need to make a stop at the storage unit I rented to hold the few pieces I brought with me from Miami. “I’ll have to buy everything else when I have time.”

Colt nodded and took control as he always did, directing his men and the movers on packing up the truck, rearranging things at the storage unit and overseeing the unpacking at my new house.

“Nice place,” he winked when he found me slowly unpacking cleaning supplies in the kitchen.

“Yeah, thanks,” I grumbled, grateful for the help but feeling pretty damn useless as a bunch of virtual strangers helped move my life. It wasn’t much, just a ton of boxes and my favorite pieces of furniture, a king size four poster bed and a deep blue sectional sofa. It wouldn’t be nearly enough for this house but it was all I needed for now.

When the movers left, I placed an order for several pizzas, two types of wings, beer and chocolate cake to thank everyone for the muscle. There were people everywhere, lounging against the wall, crammed on the sofa and even sprawled on the floor eating and drinking. Laughing and comfortable with one another.

“Thank you guys so much, I can’t tell you how much your help means to me. I promise to have a barbecue to thank you properly.”

“Make sure you make plenty of that barbecue sauce,” Ty, a former Ranger, called with a hot wing sauce smile on his face. I frowned, wondering how on earth he knew about my sauce. “Colt is always complaining about not being able to find good sauce,” he said, shooting Colt a smug grin.

“Oh. Well in that case I’ll make a big batch.” I found a seat on one corner of the sofa and leaned my head back, closing my eyes for just a moment as exhaustion made my bones feel heavy, muscles sluggish. The next time I opened my eyes the room was empty and I realized I’d fallen asleep. But just as that realization occurred, a noise came from upstairs and I froze, trying to remember where in the hell I put my gun. Wicker Park was supposed to be a decent neighborhood, but that didn’t mean shit to a certain type of criminal.

“There you are.” Making sure it was loaded, I held the gun in my left hand and crept up the stairs and down the hall, freezing when saw a familiar back and short raven hair. “What are you doing Colt?”

He looked up wearing a smile but all I could see was that thin white undershirt, moist with the sweat of hard work. Tools were everywhere giving me a brand-new repair man fantasy. He frowned at the sight of my gun but said nothing.

“I figured you’d want your bed set up today.”

My shoulders relaxed and I grinned at his thoughtful gesture. This grown-up Colt was hell on a woman’s resolve.

“I do. Thank you Colt. I’d planned on sleeping on the sofa until I could get around to it.”

“Now you don’t have to. I’m happy to help Jay-Jay.”

The sound of my childhood nickname made me freeze as a hurt I hadn’t felt in years grabbed hold of my heart and squeezed until I was breathless. Without another word, I turned to go back downstairs and get my shit under control.

While Colt assembled the bed, I set up my smart TV and gaming console that doubled as an entertainment system, happy that internet was ready to use. After ordering more food and unpacking more kitchen stuff I heard a noise and paused the music.

“Jaya come here!”

Unsure if he was hurt or goofing around I jogged up the stairs and stopped at the door. The bed wasn’t just assembled, Colt had put on sheets and pillowcases too.

“You work fast.”

“Hop on,” he patted the pillow top mattress and sat down.

I glared despite my gratitude. “Get your dirty butt off my clean sheets!” He knew damn well I had a thing about dirty, outside clothes on my bed. It had been the source of many arguments during the last year of our relationship.

“Sorry,” he said not sounding sorry at all as he stripped out of his dust covered jeans and sweaty undershirt, standing there looking like a Roman god in a pair of red pinstriped boxer briefs that hugged his muscular thighs and cradled an impressive—and hard—bulge.

I shouldn’t remember that bulge. Not how long and hard it was, or how well it filled me up. But with him standing there like that, how could I not. “Better,” I told him in a low and breathy voice I couldn’t control. With a growl, I picked up his clothes and took them with me as I walked down the stairs. “Look in the box labeled ‘Gym Stuff’ and put something else on. Though honestly none of my stuff would fit his big body.

“I’m good,” he called from behind me in the laundry room where I added his clothes to finish off a load to wash. I turned and, yelped, he stood there in nothing but the boxer briefs and socks.

My gaze raked over his body once again, making me mentally lick my lips at the mouthwatering sight of him. “I ordered dinner,” I told him as I pushed past him, ignoring the heat his body produced. “We have water, pop and beer to drink.”

“You don’t have to feed me Jaya.”

“And you didn’t have to put up my bed.” But I was so grateful he had because the thought of all that room on my soft cotton sheets, was enough to make me smile as I took a seat and put my feet up.

Moments later Colt joined me on the sofa, sitting so close our arms and legs touched. “What are we watching?”

I shrugged and handed him the controller to stroll through the options. “No shoot outs, otherwise you can choose. I probably won’t last more than an hour after I take my painkillers, which I’ll take when dinner gets here.”

He was silent for a moment before turning to me. “Are they helping Jaya?”

I shrugged because it was better than the truth. “The pain is lessened enough that I can get restless sleep for a few hours each night.”

Colt found a comedy for us to watch and when the food arrived we ate in companionable silence, laughing so much it was hard not to think of other times we’d spent just like this. Not making love, but just being together and enjoying that simplicity of it.

I wanted to push him away because he smelled too good with that hint of sweat on his body, but leaning against him was comfortable and I was exhausted. The half-eaten lasagna sat on the table with three bottles of beer and my glass of iced tea while the movie played and my lids began to grow heavy. I knew I had minutes at best before sleep claimed me but I couldn’t move off Colt, couldn’t move at all as my body became one with the sofa.

Then I fell asleep with the sound of Colt’s steady heartbeat in my ear, lulling me into a dreamless sleep.

It was the best damn sleep I’d had in five months.

 

***

“You don’t have to do this Colt.”

“I know. I want to.”

He showed up at my door an hour ago with coffee and strudel. And a plan to tackle some of my household shopping because according to him I couldn’t live in an empty house.

“Why? Most men have to be dragged kicking and screaming to go shopping and you’re volunteering for it.”

“I’m a renaissance man sweetheart.” His hands swiftly worked the steering wheel, eyes focused on the road but his attention fully fixed on me. “Plus, this is a way to spend time with you that I know you won’t object to.”

I tried not to smile. I really did. But when Colt focused on a goal, he achieved it. “So what you’re saying is you’re holding me hostage and using my furniture as bait?”

He laughed and that sound shot straight to my pussy, clenching and dripping before noon on a Saturday. “If that’s how you want to look at it, sure.”

“You really did this just to hang out with me?” He nodded, checking the mirrors instead of looking at me. “You could try asking Colt.”

“Interesting. Maybe I’ll try that next.”

Next? This was the second weekend straight we’d spent together and his plan was working. The more time we spent together, the more I liked him. Again.

“So where are we going next?”

“Since we already picked up big furniture, I think we should get kitchen stuff. I hope you have an idea what you want or else we’ll be at it all day.”

I laughed. “Seriously? We’re not even there yet and you’re already rushing me.”

Furniture shopping had been fun though, maybe a little too fun with all the laughing and flirting. Despite his hand holding, arm caressing and heated looks, I was trying to keep it platonic. I really liked Colt and I obviously was still very attracted to him. But there was one major problem. I didn’t trust him.

Still, Colt was a great shopping companion. “I think you should get red appliances for the kitchen. Like mixer, toaster, blender and all that jazz.”

“Do you have all of this in your kitchen?”

“Me? Hell no! I have a toaster, a blender, a fridge and a stove.” He looked at me like I was crazy. “But you cook and mix up cocktails and I expect all that when I visit.”

“You expect it, do you? Well I expect visitors to chip in with the cooking and cocktail mixing.”

The smile he flashed told me I had just walked into a well laid trap and when his big, warm hand landed a little too high on my thigh I bit back the moan threatening to escape.

“Well if you insist Jay-Jay, then yes I will occasionally cook and make drinks when I come over. And I’ll even wait until you’re off the pills before making my best drinks.”

Yep walked right into that one. “Arite, let’s go get me some appliances and whatchamacallits. I’m thinking of mixing and matching colors.”

“I don’t think so babe. Let’s go with red.”

Red did sound nice but he’d be smug for all of eternity if I went with his suggestion. “Nah, I’m thinking purple or maybe a nice Kelly green. Brighten the place up a bit.”

“You’re killin’ me, you know that?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at his thoroughly exasperated look as we went in and chose a combination or purple and green kitchen appliances. And towels. And oven pads.

“I have to admit it’s not as bad as I thought.”

“Now that I have your approval, I can die a happy woman.” Hands clutching my chest I grinned and batted my eyelashes.

“Smartass,” he groaned and then smacked me right on my ass. “All I need to do is accessorize, and as much as you’ve been helpful in all this, I am damn sick of shopping.” His arm went around me again and, no lie, I leaned into his embrace. I inhaled his earthy woodsy sandalwood cologne and that scent that was uniquely Colt.

“I’ve been helpful? Damn Jaya you really know how to make a guy feel special.”

“How about this for special? I’ll even buy you lunch.”

He stopped, confusing the sales guy pushing the cart to load everything up. “That’s sweet. And for that, I’ll make you dinner tonight. You buy the groceries, though.”

“You’ll make whatever I buy?” He nodded and I grinned. “Deal. Now let’s go because I could eat a seal.”

He froze and gave me a heated look across the top of the SUV that I felt all the way to my toes.

“This SEAL is happy to be your meal sweetheart.”

“There’s a great little sandwich shop around the corner.”

Colt grabbed my hand and somehow turned that into his hand around my waist, not that I was complaining, and we made the short trip to Stillman’s Deli. “If you get sauerkraut then I’ll get extra garlic and we don’t have to worry about it later when we make out.”

“Duly noted.”

“Colt Sharpe, is that you?”

We both looked up and found a voluptuous redhead tottering on black stilts as she headed our way. “Girlfriend of yours?”

“Nope. Two dates in she was talking about commitment.”

Damn. I took a step away when it became clear she had blinders on where other women were concerned.

“Colt I have missed you!” She cooed and pressed up to him, raking long red nails down his chest.

Colt, nice guy that he was, took a step back and grabbed my hand, pressing a kiss to the side of my head. “Brie I’d like you to meet my fiancée.”

Two emotions registered on her face. Shock and anger. “I thought you said you never wanted to get married!” Her voice got louder and louder, reaching screeching levels. “All that talk of your long lost high school love who still held your heart was just a lie, right? You rat bastard liar! Oh I screwed up with Jaya so bad and no one else will do,” she mimicked him using a whiny high pitched voice.

I didn’t know how to feel about the fact Colt had used me and our relationship to get out of making a commitment to other women. It felt sleazy. It felt like he diminished what we had.

“Brie,” he shouted to interrupt her never ending tirade. “This is Jaya.”

Instantly Brie softened and all the anger left her. “Really, you’re Jaya?”

“According to my driver’s license.”

“Oh my god!” Just like that her whole demeanor shifted from angry and hurt to happy and hopeful. “That is so great, I’m so happy for you!” She wrapped us both in a hug, squeezing a little too hard.

“Thanks for that Brie but I’m still recovering from being shot,” I told her and extricated myself from her embrace.

“Oh no, are you okay? Colt I hope you’re taking good care of her now that you finally got her back.” She leaned in for another, gentler hug and whispered in my ear, “What a lucky girl you are to have a love like that.”

I stood there, completely stunned, watching the curvaceous bombshell walk away. I turned my gaze up at Colt, who stared back at me with a look I didn’t want to identify. That look was too damn real. Too intense. Too much.

“Weird.”

Slowly, as though time stopped, he cupped my jaw and kissed me long and slow until I felt his emotions pouring into me, infusing me so that I couldn’t ignore them. Couldn’t deny them.

He tasted every inch of my mouth, swiping in and licking my tongue. Mating with my mouth until I clung to him. He swallowed my moans and tightened his grip on my ass, kissing me until nothing around us existed.

When he broke the kiss, he grinned. “Told you so.”