Physical Therapy is almost more painful than getting shot. At least the bullets came quickly and then it was over. Therapy is an ongoing torture that feels like it will never end. I always wore a t-shirt and yoga pants because the one thing I could count on aside from blinding pain, was that I would sweat through my clothes. Today, unfortunately was no different.

Until my phone began to buzz on the table beside me. Normally I ignored it but I fatigue and a sixth sense had me answering before the second ring. “Yeah?”

“Jaya we have an extraction in thirty-six hours. I need you back here right away.” Colt’s voice was short and to the point.

“Got it Boss. Leaving now,” I told him and disconnected the call, turning to my therapist who looked especially annoyed even though I was the one sweating profusely and in pain. “Sorry but I have to get back to work.” I knew she wanted to argue with me because she was a cute little aerobics type chick, so I held up my hands to stop her. “I’m not trying to get out of this excruciating torture. I’ll come in tomorrow and finish my time, alright?”

“Fine.”

I was already off the table, stripping out of my sweat soaked t-shirt right there in the open gym section of the office and pulling on a red scoop neck sweater. It was still damn hard to do this crap with one good arm but I managed to do it in less than five minutes and hop in a cab. I rushed into the building, swiping ID cards, not stopping until I nearly smacked into Colt in the logistics room.

“What’s up?”

“Jaya,” he grinned but quickly schooled his expression and gave me a quick rundown. “A team of six is heading to Turkey to extract a family of four. All civilians.”

With a short nod, I dropped into the chair in front of the bank of computers and got to work, gathering all the things I would need to pass on to the team. “Who the hell vacations in the middle of political unrest?” I hadn’t meant to say it aloud but I’d been watching events unfold there all week. I mean, really?

“Ever been to the Turkish Riviera?”

I choked out a laugh. “Nah, last time I planned it my jet was in the shop and the thought of taking the yacht was so last season.”

He laughed behind me as I pulled up the transport details to ensure the guys could get in, grab the family and get out safely. I sent a list of supplies for the jet to the off-site supply center. Flight info went out to the team who would likely be returning to here to sleep in the bunker in just a few hours. So much needed to be done in such a short period of time for a trip that would last less than three days.

I didn’t have time to be scared or worried, which I thought I might be before the planning started. Sure, I’d been shot, face down murder suspects, traffickers and a lot more. But I knew Colt’s guys. They were tough but they were also like overgrown kids. I couldn’t be the reason they didn’t all make it home. Going systematically down my checklist, ticking off each item and shouting questions to Colt when they came to me, I finally felt like it would all be okay. This work was damn exhausting.

Finally, I stood and stretched, noticing the time on the wall indicated it was after nine o’clock. Thank goodness. The busy day kept me from thinking thoughts that had been plaguing me since brunch on Sunday. Most of them started and ended with the tall blue-eyed man I had a quickie with in my master bathroom while our mothers made breakfast. I didn’t know how I felt about anything. Not about having sex with Colt. Not about having him back in my life. Not about working for him.

I’d slept with the one man I vowed never to sleep with again. And worst of all, I liked it. Not just liked it, but psychotically loved it and could not stop dreaming about it. Fantasizing about all the things I’d like to do with him now. All the things I’d like to try.

My favorite distraction was waking up in his arms and that just wouldn’t do. Not. At. All. I could admit that the new, sexy grown up version of Colt held a certain appeal. Confident and sexy, the man could light me on fire with just a look. But my mind, my heart wouldn’t let me forget how easily he’d abandoned me. Abandoned us. He’d left and never looked back which meant that he wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.

Which meant I needed to tread carefully. Keep my feelings locked up in the impenetrable fortress my heart had become.

“All done?”

His deep voice, warm and close to me, startled a gasp out of me and I turned to face him.

“Yep. Just lost in thought.” About you.

“Go home. Be here ninety minutes before takeoff tomorrow. Take the rest of the day off until then because it’ll be a long night.” Colt pulled me up by my good arm, handling me delicately which was an odd sensation. No one had treated me so preciously…since Colt.

“How was therapy?”

“Cut short, so thanks for that. But it still is a bitch, every damn time. Some days I wonder if this is as good as it’ll ever be.” He stayed with me while I packed up my bag and walked me out to the front door. “You don’t have to walk me out every night, you know.”

“I know,” he smiled, hands rubbing up and down my arms to fight the chill. “But I want to. In fact, I’ll give you a ride home.”

This right here was exactly why I had to keep my heart locked up tight. “Are you leaving now Colt?” He smiled and I had to shake my head at him. “I’ll be fine. See you tomorrow.”

He hailed a cab and stepped closer, hands on my hips and sliding into my back pockets to pull me close. His mouth slanted over mine, kissing me deep and sensually until my body vibrated with an arousal neither of us had time to satisfy. Finally, I pulled back, trembling and looking up into deep blue eyes that smiled back.

“Goodnight Jaya.”

“’Night Colt.” I stepped in the cab but he stopped me.

“Dream of me,” he whispered in my ear and closed the door.

Like I would be able to do anything else.

***

“It’s been awhile but I don’t think you’re supposed to eat that much on a date,” Colt joked, blue eyes wide and full mouth curved in amusement.

I shrugged and gave my belly a small pat. “Maybe not, but that was the best damn lobster ravioli I’ve ever had.” Moist and flavorful with a butternut squash cream that I would be dreaming about for weeks to come. The fancy Italian restaurant with intimate seating, romantic lighting and music had been an inspired choice. We’d never gotten the chance or had the funds to do this before. It was perfect, dammit. “If my appetite is a turnoff then we can just part ways now,” I told him knowing damn well he more than liked it. His dark gaze never left my mouth as I ate and licked my lips. I caught him shifting in his seat at the sounds I made.

“Are you kidding? Any woman that enjoys her food the way you do, tends to enjoy many things with as much passion.”

Damn the way he pitched his voice all low and sexy was even better than the ravioli. “Is that so?”

“Sure is,” he said at the same moment the waiter approached our table with a bucket of ice and a bottle of very expensive champagne.

“What’s all this?” I knew Colt had made a ridiculous amount of money with his security business but this was the first time, aside from Sharpe Focus I had witnessed it.

“This is to celebrate a job well done this week. I know it wore you out, but you made sure the guys and the cargo made it back to U.S. soil safe and sound.”

Colt excelled at breaking down my defenses, smashing through the walls I’d erected—and fortified—to keep him from getting too close. I felt myself softening towards him and that just wouldn’t do. But this was a date so I smiled.

“Thank you. For your support and for the job.” I enjoyed a few sips of the bubbly stuff, but I knew I couldn’t have too much because soon I’d have no choice but to take another painkiller.

“My pleasure Jaya.” Colt only drank one glass, offering the remainder to a young couple who’d probably saved for this meal before paying the bill and escorting me out into the chilly night. “You up for walking?”

“Sure.” He took my hand in his and linked our fingers together as we walked a few blocks in companionable silence, enjoying what might end up being the last remnants of summer. The weather had grown cooler, but the nights were still more enjoyable than not. “Where are we going?” Music sounded all around us, bars and nightclubs and lounges lined this area of the city.

“Someplace I can hold you close for a few hours and listen to good music.” The lazy grin he wore was my absolute favorite and in the years we were apart, it had been that one that haunted me.

“Sounds good to me,” I told him and soon he pulled me into a small, dark lounge where sultry jazz music rang out thanks to a live band and singer. Colt didn’t grab a table, just hauled me to the dance floor and did exactly as he promised, held me close while the sexy alto sang about broken hearts, reclaimed love and long nights of pleasure.

My head rested on his shoulder and I let my eyes close as the singer’s words washed over me, making me feel and think about things I’d tried to keep buried. Deep. Like the last time Colt held me like this on a dance floor. The winter formal. We’d both gotten dressed up in ill-fitting formal clothes for the most romantic night of my life. It had also been the beginning of the end for us only I hadn’t known it at the time. Just six weeks later he announced he was leaving college for the Navy and a few weeks later my changed forever.

I let out a sigh as all those memories converged in a sick flash of images, of torture and pain. After all of that, I never thought we’d be here again, never let myself even dream it because I’d been so convinced it was impossible. So convinced that I couldn’t forgive him, only now I wasn’t sure. Because here I am with Colt again. In his arms.

Falling.

Again.

He pulled back at my sigh, tilting my chin up to look in my eyes and frowned. “What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

I shook my head, a small shaky smile playing on my mouth. “I’m fine Colt.”

“You’re crying,” he said plainly.

“I’m not.” But then he brushed under my eyes with the pad of his thumbs and sure enough it glistened.

Damn. “I guess I was just lost in the past.” But I didn’t want to be lost in the past, not now when this night had been so perfect. “Want to get out of here?”

Colt flashed that smile that made my body overheat and wrapped his arm around me, guiding me out of the lounge while he called his driver because he had gone all out for this date. We made the trip to his downtown apartment because it was closer and because our lips hadn’t stopped touching the entire drive over. Or on the elevator ride up. To the penthouse.

“Welcome home, sweetheart.” He flashed another grin as the door shut, pushing me up against it and kissing me until I couldn’t remember my own name, never mind our past and why this was a bad idea.

His mouth devoured mine, pressing open mouthed kisses down my neck and chest, removing the low-cut wrap dress and brushing his lips against every inch he revealed. It was a slow conquering, knocking down the barriers brick by brick, and I couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t take it.

“Colt, please.”

Blue eyes were nearly black with desire as his gaze slammed into mine. “Fuck I love it when you beg.”

“Do you, now?” He nodded and pulled the dress off my shoulders. “Please Colt, I need you. Now.”

That was all it took for the pace to change from gentle and loving to fast and frenzied as our clothes came off, leaving a trail from the door to the black sofa. Soft and large, big enough for a man Colt’s size. We came together in a frenetic pace, both of us going over the edge twice before collapsing in a heap of limbs.