Chapter Thirteen
Trent wiped his palms on his jeans—damn he was nervous—and fussed with the collar of his shirt. He, as promised, had called the day after he left her sleeping on the couch. She seemed to be having a rough morning but didn’t want to go into detail about it. They only spoke briefly, but he made sure to make plans for the following Friday.
That night she called him back and said that Adam and Tommy could watch the kids. They talked for a little bit and Trent was glad whatever had her bummed appeared to pass.
On Monday she called him after she finished work. It was hard being home while she was working. He had too much time on his hands and considered taking another job, but worried it would send him out of town and away from Chloe.
They spoke on the phone while she prepared dinner. When dinner was ready, he promised to call her the next day. However, when nine o’clock rolled around, he missed her something fierce. Wanting to hear her voice one last time before bed, so he called again.
He wasn’t sure why or how she’d managed to captivate him. Perhaps it was the passive way she slipped back into his life, not pushing for his attention but stealing it all the same. Or maybe it was her gentleness that attracted him. He knew there was a warrior inside of her, a woman who would fight armies to protect her children. Her backbone lured him in, testified she was a decent woman and one he shouldn’t let slip through his hands.
He wanted to unleash her passion, didn’t want anyone else knowing the secrets she hid. In a way, she was his secret, all the thoughts over the years compiling into deep wanting. Nothing short of having her would satisfy his desires. They ended up talking on the phone for an hour.
Tuesday they talked some more and Wednesday they broke their record and chatted for over four hours. They were learning a lot about one another. For instance, he now knew that her favorite color was yellow and her favorite flowers were sunflowers. She used to collect Teddy Bears. She only recently learned to like avocados. And she won the Religion Award in eighth grade, which she claimed was a prestigious honor not to be made light of.
Every detail was a tiny treasure, a puzzle piece that helped him gain a full picture of the woman she was. On Thursday she actually called him in between patients because she claimed she missed him. He tried not to make too big of a deal out of the warm fuzzy feelings her confession brought. To keep his manhood intact, he headed over to Jeremy’s for a beer.
That night, she called him after she put the kids to bed. They talked on the phone until they ran out of words. After that, they lay in bed listening to each other breathe, as they each watched reruns of old sitcoms.
He’d never had this sort of connection with a woman. Things didn’t have to be sexual for him to enjoy her time. Every minute she gave him fulfilled something inside of him. She made him … smile. He loved hearing her laugh.
This morning, Trent awoke and called the florist first thing. He gave her work address and ordered a dozen sunflowers to be delivered to her office at lunch. On the card, he had the clerk write, Can’t wait to see you tonight. Xo, Trent.
He received her call around twelve fifteen. She made such a big deal of the gesture, he made a mental note to send her flowers often. After that, he ran to the mall to find something suitable to wear on a date. He was taking her to a place in Upper New Castle called Antonio’s, a small family style restaurant his sister suggested.
He bought a pair of dark blue jeans with faded crease marks by the pockets, a new belt, and a deep blue button-down shirt that had some goofy design on the shoulder. The salesman highly recommended it, but Trent wasn’t convinced until a younger woman passed by and told him how good it looked on him.
He grabbed a new pair of black dress shoes, only because they had them in his size, which was rare, and headed to the hair place in the mall to get a trim. About an hour later he looked like a new man.
As he pulled into Chloe’s driveway he took one more moment to adjust his clothing and check for any missed store tags. When all was good, he headed to her front porch and lightly knocked. The click and slide of locks being flipped on the other end had him stepping back.
And there she was.
She looked amazing. A loose fitting blouse in shades of charcoal draped over her curves. The collar hung low and off to the side, exposing her shoulder. With his height, he could see the perfect peek of cleavage. Nice.
“Wow,” they each said at the same time and laughed.
“Would you like to come in? The boys are already next door.”
“I wouldn’t want them to look out the window and wonder what we’re doing in there. And with the way you look right now, trust me … we’d be doing.”
She blushed. “Okay, let me grab my purse.” She hesitated, looking unsure. “Um … should I bring anything else?”
He already told her he picked up the wine. Was she asking about condoms? He didn’t want to make any assumptions, but he already picked up a box. “Like what?”
“Um…” She looked down and tapped her fingertips together. “I… Well, the kids are taken care of until tomorrow afternoon. I just didn’t know if … I’d be coming back here or if I should bring a bag.”
His throat suddenly went very, very dry. “Get a bag.”
She smiled and disappeared behind the door. A second later she reappeared with a small case. “Okay, let’s go.”
Laughing, he took it from her and fit it behind his seat of the truck. The simple weight of that bag in his hands and what it implied had his cock hardening to an uncomfortable degree.
They drove in sexually charged silence. Distracted by the way her hair picked up the last gleaming rays of the sun as it set over the horizon, he found it difficult to focus on the road.
“How far’s this place?”
“It’s about twenty minutes out.”
She relaxed a little in her seat. Her fingers twisted her rings.
Placing his palm on her thigh, he gave a little squeeze. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Just … anxious, I guess.”
He was anxious, too. At first, he was a little nervous about impressing her but, now that he saw the bag, he wanted to say the hell with dinner and drive her right to his house.
“Your hair looks great.”
His fingers went to the blunt ends. “It needed a cut.”
“I like it.”
“Thanks, doll.” Her approval meant more to him than it probably should.
* * * *
She’d forgotten the sweet anxiousness that was the prelude to a first date. It was a heady and potent mix of nerves, excitement, and lust. When Trenton had arrived at her door, hair cut, dress shirt pressed, and dark tapered jeans fitted to his magnificently long legs, she was once again taken aback by his good looks. Her panties had been damp ever since.
Tommy was right. It was time for her to move on. She’d been nervous about dating, unsure if she’d ever reopen that door again. But the way Trenton spoke to her, made her laugh, and seemed to have a curious interest in who she was … it was different than past experiences. He was different.
She probably shouldn’t trust someone she only met a handful of times, but there was something, aside from his attractiveness, that called to her. He was the man of her fantasies come to life. Like a love story, he’d reappeared in her world and—unbelievably—wanted to date her.
It wasn’t until Tommy had pointed out that if she dated and actually went to bed with Trenton, Marcus would no longer be the placeholder of her experiences. He was more than a bookmark in some mental ledger. He was an anvil on her chest, marking all the horrible fears and dislikes she remembered. The idea of Trenton somehow washing those recollections away, even a little bit… If it was possible, he could save her in other ways. This man might somehow open up new worlds to her and save her from herself.
She liked the way he made her feel, even when he made her nervous. Her confidence had bolstered over the last five days and he had to be responsible. What if dating a good man, having a healthy relationship, could actually repair the damage of marrying a monster?
He neatly tucked his truck along the curb across the street and pulled the key. “You ready, gorgeous?”
Gorgeous? Well, that was an endearment she certainly hadn’t heard before. She smiled and grabbed her purse. “Ready.”
She was ready for this new chapter. It had been almost a decade, but tonight she would be attempting to trust again. Every time she considered what might happen after dinner, her stomach did a little flip.
The family-owned restaurant was perfect. As their dinner was prepared in the kitchen, they chatted about their day. Conversation never lagged. Their words carried each other’s thoughts as fluidly as the wind carried the clouds. Chloe didn’t remember a date ever being so easy or relaxed.
He wasn’t concerned with putting on airs. She loved learning all of his likes and dislikes. Trenton liked his steak rare and his beer cold. He took his coffee black and could care less about what label was on his clothing. He drove his truck because it ran well and never let him down. He took an open interest in things that caught his attention and didn’t hold back his opinions.
There were no apologies with Trenton Cole because with him you got what you saw. And his confidence made him all the more attractive. He liked motorcycles, boobs, the NHL, porn, red meat, and rock and roll. He was— refreshingly—basic. He was also the sort of unrefined man she found herself very attracted to.
By the time they finished their meal the wine was almost gone. He slid some cash in the billfold and took her hand. “What do you say we head back to my place?”
Her stomach swooped in anticipation and her skin heated. Mouth suddenly dry, she simply nodded her agreement.
When they reached the lot it was more congested than before. She was grateful they parked across the street. He held her door and helped her climb into the truck. Once they were on their way every mile marker came with a new thrill of heady anticipation.
I’m going to Trenton Cole’s house!
Then it sank in that she was actually going to have sex and she started to panic. Rather than recall the horrid memories of her past experiences, she focused on mentally recounting all the subtle ways she’d prepared herself. She’d painstakingly shaved areas she hadn’t shaved in years and applied raspberry lotion to every square inch of her body. Her undergarments matched and she even bought something sexy to wear to bed. This was new ground for her and, despite her anxiety, she was excited.
You got this. Be brave.
They took an exit for a town called Neshannock and Trenton steered them onto an expansive road where familiar landmarks faded into nothing but space. Farm after farm passed by, houses sprinkled here and there with huge gaps of land in between. They’d literally gone from the city to the middle of nowhere in a matter of minutes.
Her heart sped up as he navigated through a labyrinth of back roads, taking her deeper into this rural area where streetlights didn’t exist and churches were more common than commercialization.
Turning onto a gravel drive, she spotted a bead of light in the distance and he glanced at her with a smile. Was this it? Were they there?
“I have sensor lights. They’ll go on in a second.”
Just as he said the words the structure in front of them illuminated, not at all what she’d been expecting. “It’s a barn.”
“Yeah. It belonged to the farm next door, but they wanted to downsize their acreage. I got it at a great price and, other than winterizing it and adding a few modern amenities, it required minimal work.”
“It’s beautiful.”
He smiled and parked by a large wooden door. “Shall we?”
Taking her bag and her hand he led her to the barn. When he flipped on a few lights she gasped.
Wide wooden planks buttressed by heavy mortise and tenon beams created a gaping space made from raw material. A floor to ceiling stone chimney spotlighted a cavernous fireplace. Mounted antlers gave the open house a woodsy feel, unmistakably masculine. His furniture was minimalistic, a threadbare rug, two leather couches, and two utilitarian chairs made of exposed pine.
Her gaze panned to the open back staircase. He hung by the front door, watching her. “Take a look around.”
Her feet carried her to see what hid in that loft. She froze when she reached the top. There, independent of walls stood Trenton’s bed.
There was a soft thud behind her as he placed her overnight bag by the steps. They were in his room, with his big bed, all alone. Every muscle in her body tingle with awareness as he stepped closer.
“You okay, doll? You still want to stay?”
She swallowed and slowly nodded. They were definitely doing this.
Walking to the lone dresser on the far side of the room, she removed her earrings. Taking a deep breath, she faced the bed. He took a slow predatory step toward her, then another, pausing only a few inches from where she stood, and her breath caught.
Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, his knuckle skimmed a line of her jaw. “I want you, Chloe. Say I can have you.”
She shut her eyes, his words reminding how different this was going to be from everything she’d known. He wanted her. Her mouth trembled into a smiled. She very much wanted him, too. “You … can have me.”
“So beautiful.” His mouth gently kissed her neck as his fingers traced down her arms to her wrists. She shivered as his touch coasted over the swell of her hips to her ribs. “Look at me, Chloe.”
Trembling with anticipation, she lifted her lashes and his smoky blue stare sliced through her. He kept his gaze on her as he teased the low neckline of her blouse, drawing her nipples to attention.
“I’m not always a gentleman, Chloe, but I won’t hurt you. I’ll never hurt you.”
Staring at him, she saw the truth in his eyes. He was a massive man, carved of hard muscle, woven of tight sinew, but he was a gentle giant. “I believe you.” If she didn’t believe that she wouldn’t be standing here.
As if he’d been holding his breath and she’d finally given him the password he needed, he reached for her in a rush. The kiss was explosive. His grip tightened around her waist as he yanked her close. Their tongues fought for deeper penetration. Her fingers ran through his hair, as his hands slid low and firmly gripped her, pulling her body flush against his.
She blindly sought out the top button of his shirt, kicking her shoes away. Two buttons. His mouth slid to her ear, the sound of his breath tickling her sensitized skin and sending shivers down her legs. Three buttons.
He nibbled her earlobe and she moaned, her fingers tripping over the fourth button. When he kissed her she didn’t have to contemplate what they were doing. There was no time for worry or doubt because her wanting grew to an immediate need every time his lips touched hers. His mouth burned a trail of heat along her throat. Another button.
Aroused beyond measure, she forgot about the buttons and spread the collar of his shirt wide, pressing her lips to his chest. She kissed his scar, trailing her tongue to his nipple, where she teased the dark tip.
Groaning, he fisted her hair and tipped up her face. “I have a feeling there’s a lot of wild woman hiding under that sweet smile.”
Standing on her toes she kissed his throat as they fought for closeness, exposing any bit of flesh they could reach. Never in her life had she experienced such a mad rush to get a man naked. Her stark curiosity fueled her desire and blurred her inhibitions. She finally got his shirt off. “I love your body.”
“Your turn.” He grasped the hem of her blouse and—
“Wait!”
He stilled and raised his brow in question.
Catching her breath, she glanced around the room. “Maybe we should shut off some lights.”
His dark brow lowered. “Chloe, doll, I’m gonna tell you right now, there’s no way I’m letting this happen without seeing every square inch of your body. You’re gorgeous and I want to look at you.”
“But—”
“Let’s get a few things straight right now. All insecurities go out the window when we’re alone. I don’t want boundaries between us. I’m a greedy man and I like it good, old-fashioned, and hard. I got no patience for any prissy modern day doubts. You’re all woman and I want all of you. Understand?”
His words were tempting but she couldn’t forget who she was and the things he’d see once the shield of her clothing was removed. Marcus made sure she knew how far from perfect she was, frequently listing her flaws and telling her how disgusting men found certain blemishes like pudgy curves, oversized breasts, and freckled skin.
She wanted to please Trenton but worried he’d be disappointed regardless. “I’m just not very comfortable with my clothes off.”
“I’ll make you comfortable. But you gotta give me the chance. Let me take the lead. You can decide anything you want about the rest of our relationship, but in here, let me be the boss.”
Whoa. She took a step away from the bed. That was a stiff spoonful of testosterone to swallow.
Her experience and common sense told her she should pack it up and get the hell out of there, but something held her still. Men who needed control were never satisfied. Or was that just Marcus?
As if reading her thoughts, he caught her chin. “I’m greedy, Chloe, but I’m not selfish and I’m never mean. I promise it’ll be better than anything you ever had. Trust me to take care of every gorgeous inch of you. Give me my way, doll. No boundaries, just us.”
She let out a fast breath. Could she do that? Old vulnerabilities begged her not to be so naive, but she pushed the nagging, untrusting voices away.
“What if I can’t?”
“All I’m asking is that you try. If anything’s too much, you say the word and we stop.” His large hand rested over the scar covering his heart. “I swear you’re safe with me.”
She could be strong. She could do this. Tucking all cynicism away, she reached for the hem of her shirt and lifted it over her head. As the material fluttered to the floor his smile slowly curved.
“Don’t stop.”
Reaching behind her back with shaky fingers, she unlatched the clasp of her bra. He dragged the straps from her arms and tossed the undergarment aside, stepping back to look at her. Her naked breasts hung between them, tipped in peach. As his gaze bore into her flesh, her nipples budded into tight peaks.
“Dear God.” His breathing accelerated as he licked his lips.
A trail of pink worked down her chest as he ran his thumbs over the rigid tips of her nipples. Bowing his head, he sucked a tip into his warm mouth and she drew a sharp breath.
Corralling her toward the bed, her knees met the mattress and he eased her to her back. Rising to his full height, his hands dropped to his waist as he slowly unlatched the clasp of his belt and slid the leather through the loops. Her mind careened into a darker place, a scary place at that familiar sound triggering her anxiety. The belt fell to the floor with a punctuated clack and her fear instantly waned as he continued to watch her, dark blue eyes heavy with promise.
Thick anticipation chugged through her veins, hot and arousing. Each metal tooth of his lowering zipper punctuated what was coming with a slow tick, tick, tick. As the blunt head of his cock peeked out the V of his pants she inhaled, her lips parting as she gazed up at him.
Shoving his pants to the floor, he only gave her a moment to look at his generous form before climbing onto the bed. He settled over her and gave her a slow, wolfish grin.
“You’re mine.”
His mouth took hers with fast aggression, seemingly everywhere at one time. He kissed her breasts, her throat, and even her ears. She fell into a tailspin of sensation as his fingers tweaked her nipples, sending shockwaves to her core.
Her pants peeled away as he worked his mouth down her body. She sucked in a sharp gasp as his lips pressed into the damp silk covering her sex. “Oh, God.”
His fingers plucked the material from her hips and he growled in satisfaction, nudging her knees apart. Tilting her head back, she closed her eyes as his hot tongue blazed a trail of heat. Her back bowed and she let out a moan of ecstasy.
How long had it been since a man touched her tenderly like this? Her eyes stung at the fleeting thought and she pushed it away.
He tasted her with abandon, plunged his tongue deep, licking and nibbling her clit, tracing her folds. Her breath escaped in needy pleas, speaking out of her own shock, hardly able to comprehend that this was happening, that she was actually enjoying a man’s hands on her.
He was relentless, sucking and pulling, ringing every last drop of pleasure from her. He gripped her bottom so tightly she was sure she’d wear his handprints tomorrow.
“Let go, baby. I’ll catch you.”
Her hands fisted the blankets as her back arched, her sex grinding against his wicked mouth as he took her to the edge of ecstasy where worries disappeared. Pleasure knifed through her, hot and greedy, demanding she hold nothing back.
Never had an orgasm been so all-encompassing or soul shattering. Drunk with passion, she wasn’t sure if she blacked out for a second. Breath soughed in and out of her lungs as she quivered with tiny aftershocks that tickled her body.
He collapsed next to her. “You, doll, are amazing.”
She rested a hand on her stampeding heart, wondering if anything in her life even slightly compared to what he just did. One thought tripped into the next. This moment, lying next to Trenton Cole—her long-lost hero—without a stitch of clothing… This had somehow become her reality and the absurdity of that thought shook her to the core.
There were no words for how beautiful he was. She tilted her head away and shyly smiled. “Thank you … for that.”
He grinned. “Believe me, it was my pleasure.”
She loved how sexual he was, how he didn’t try to hide his enthusiasm. Sex had never been … fun with Marcus. Even before the abuse started.
Trenton was showing her how freeing it could be and she wanted to embrace the theory. She rolled to her side. “Your turn.”
He pulled her in for a deep kiss and she could taste herself on his tongue. As her thigh brushed against his rigid length she shivered.
Scooting down his body, she knelt between his legs. He tipped his chin and smiled at her as his cock bobbed proudly above his muscled abs. He was definitely large everywhere.
Slowly gliding her palm up his length, his warm flesh teased her fingers like heated steel encased in silky hot skin. Leaning closer, she brushed her cheek along his length, gently cupping him, and he tilted his head back and groaned.
At the small seam of his engorged crown rested a tiny pearl of dew. With a quick swipe of her tongue, she licked it away.
“Fuck...”
She laughed and ran her tongue under the smooth rim and he hissed in a deep breath as she took him fully into her mouth. His hand sifted through her hair and held her tight, but never forced her lower or forbade her to rise. As she worked her mouth up and down, the hand in her hair started turning her on rather than frightening her. Again, he’d proven how different he was from her prior experiences and that reminder urged her on.
He was not only long but thick. Her lips stretched over him as her rhythm increased. The more she worked him, the more her arousal grew, which had never happened before during a blowjob.
As she took him deep, he gave a long satisfied moan. Suddenly, he nudged her to her back. “Now, Chloe. I need you now.”
She caught the flash of a condom just before he tore the foil with his teeth. Sliding it over his hard length, he grabbed her knees. With a quick tug, he slid her to the center of the bed.
Her thighs spread wide as his weight settled over her. “You ready, doll?”
“Yes.” Her mind celebrated the moment, knowing it would forever erase Marcus as her last lover but also transcend every fantasy she had of this man into irrevocable reality.
He pushed the broad, blunt tip of his cock against her sex and a chill of unexpected panic set in. What if there was pain? What if she couldn’t? Oh, God…
“Chloe, look at me.”
She opened her eyes.
“You’re here with me, Chloe. Stay with me.”
He slowly worked himself inside, shallow dips going deeper with each stroke. Her thoughts jumbled, an irrational sense of fear threatening, and her body clenched. The sudden tightness of her sex amplified her worry. She didn’t want it to hurt. So great was her fear that her eyes closed against a startling wash of tears she didn’t want him to see. She wished the lights were off. Maybe they should stop. God, she was too tight and—
Soft lips brushed hers. “Tell me who’s got you.”
She sensed him holding back and willed her eyes to open. He nudged deeper, hitting a nerve. Her body wasn’t cooperating, one moment inviting him in, the next moment fighting to keep him out. He obviously felt her tension.
She blinked and more frustrating tears threatened to fall, threatened to spoil the night with embarrassing excuses of how she was so broken all these years later she still couldn’t find normal.
“Who, Chloe? Don’t shut your eyes. Tell me who has you.”
Breathing hard, she stared up at him, her body cinched tight and her mind spiraled into old regrets as it sliced open fresh wounds. Why was this happening? She was ready. She wanted to be ready.
“Shh…” His arms drew her to his chest as he held her close. His breath teased her lips as he traced the softest kiss over her cheek. “I know. I know you’re scared. But you’re here with me. No reason to be afraid, Chloe.”
His words brought a delicate peace to her chaotic mind, enough that she could separate the past from the present and see herself in the now. “Trenton.”
“That’s right. I’ve got you.”
Her body relaxed and her tears abated as she recognized the soft fringe of his lashes, the gentle laugh lines surrounding his kind eyes. The fear faded and she drew in a deep breath.
“There’s my girl. I missed you. Try to stay with me.”
It was as if he knew more than he possibly could. His patience and understanding undid her. His acceptance that she still carried baggage from her past tripped the beat of her heart and her vision blurred again, but now for a different reason.
“I’m ready now.”
He pressed a tender kiss to her lips, his fingers touching her arousal and gently bringing her body back to life. “Look into my eyes,” he whispered and slid home.
They simultaneously exhaled. He held himself there for a moment and she was so overwhelmed by the fullness, not just physical fullness, but the weight of emotion she felt, that she couldn’t stop the escape of a lone tear.
“You okay, baby?”
She smiled. Although she was on the verge of weeping, she was happy. She’d been brave and he’d been patient. The combination was intoxicating. “I’m okay.”
He grinned. “I’m glad because it’s about to get real good.”
Excitement bloomed in her chest as he thrust. The bed creaked with his every advance. It felt good, better than good. And she couldn’t silence her sounds of pleasure.
His speed increased, his mouth kissing anywhere it could reach, showing her a level of affection she’d forgotten could accompany sex. The sound of their bodies colliding filled the air. A gasp escaped on the tail of each thrust. For as enormous as he was, his motions stayed gentle.
His palm coasted over her hair, his thumb tracing the arch of her cheek. His mouth kissed and teased her lips, ears, and shoulders. But what affected her most, what made this a moment she’d never forget, was the way his gaze bore into her, never leaving, like an anchor that held her in the present but gave her enough space to let go.
There was such warmth tucked within his gaze, she could easily slip out words of love, words she had no right to say. But the emotion was there—tempting.
She wanted to love him for the simple fact that he made her feel like a woman again, looked at her with honest affection. The tattered ends of her frayed soul slowly stitched back together with every compliment, caress, and kindness he showed her.
He slowed his movements as his mouth found hers, drawing her mind back to the forefront. “Holy fuck, you feel incredible. I knew it would be like this. Perfect.”
Perfect.
If only he knew how dangerously close she was to wrapping her entire heart around his sweet words. He shouldn’t say such things if he didn’t want more than just a night with her. But maybe he wanted more. She was falling too fast.
His tongue swept over the arch of her collarbone and he rested his forehead in the curve of her shoulder, rocking slowly, savoring each deep glide.
“I can’t believe I found you again,” he rasped, and the tears she worked so hard to hide slid past her lashes.
He kissed the moisture on her face. Their bodies shuddered as they finished together. She held onto him, never wanting to let go as they trembled under the intensity of the moment. If only he knew how limited her experiences had been, how harsh and cruel, he’d know how much his gentleness meant to her.
She didn’t want to lose this closeness. She didn’t want to lose him, and her desire to have him, for longer than a night, scared her in a new way. “Don’t let go yet.”
He thought she was only speaking about their bodies, but she was making a plea for more. She wanted his patience to last because she knew things wouldn’t always be this easy. But most of all she wanted him.
His thumb swiped gently under her eyes as he stared down at her with renewed intensity. “This isn’t over, Chloe. Not tonight or the next. I don’t know if I’ll ever get my fill of you.”