Chapter Nineteen
“I just don’t understand why he’s suddenly so clingy. I tell him I’m fine and he goes away for a few minutes then he’s back as if I never said a word. I mean, I know they say pregnancy gives you hemorrhoids, but I never knew they meant your husband turns into one. I want him off my ass! And I swear if he pushes one more glass of milk in my direction I’m going to scream!”
Chloe half listened as Jade sat across from her, bordering on almost a full hour of prenatal complaints. She should have called out today, but she didn’t want to be home alone. She also didn’t know what to do about Trent. She shut off her cell phone and told her secretary to hold all her calls.
She overreacted about the gun and wished she was strong enough to let go of old fears, but the thought of being anywhere near a gun filled her with this paralyzing pain. She could still taste the metal, hear the click, feel the terror she suffered every time Marcus played with his.
Disappointed in herself, ashamed of her lingering weakness, she tried to talk herself into seeing reason. The rational part of her brain told her every gun owner wasn’t crazy and Trenton would never do the things her husband had done. She could almost convince herself she could get over her fear, but the second she pictured Trenton’s gun, imagined it in their presence, a cold sweat broke across her shaking palms and her chest constricted with panic.
Marcus had simply tortured her too much over the years with his belts and guns and basically anything he could use to make her life hell. But he never actually shot someone. Trenton had.
Her response yesterday had humiliated her on a level she wasn’t ready to explain. The times Marcus used a gun… She shivered at the thought. Over the years she’d worked through many of her triggers, but this was a big one she didn’t think she’d ever get over. Marcus had held his gun to her temple too many times and done too much damage for her apprehension to ever go away.
“Chloe? Chloeeee? Hello? Earth to Dr. Wolfe.”
She looked at Jade and suddenly burst into tears.
“Oh my God, Chloe, what’s wrong?” Jade stood, her slightly protruding belly pressing against her shirt, her voice stricken with panic, as she pulled her into her arms. “Honey, what’s the matter?”
“It’s Trenton,” she sobbed, hating herself for acting so unprofessional.
“What about Trent?”
“He—he isn’t who I thought he was.” Reaching for a tissue, she tried to pull herself together.
“What are you talking about? Who did you think he was? I never knew Trent to be anything but genuine.”
“God, I’m sorry.” This was completely unprofessional. She was breaking rules, not just hers, but the ones that kept her practice to a standard she’d worked damn hard to achieve. What was wrong with her?
“Oh, please. After everything I’ve been through… You go ahead and unleash.”
She wiped her eyes and blew her nose. “I didn’t mean to just explode into tears like that.”
“It’s fine. I do it all the time. Tell me what happened with Trent?”
Debating if she wanted to cross that line, she thought to first clarify a few things. “Jade, what does Jeremy do?”
She frowned. “He works with Trent and Pete. They all work in security together. Sometimes they do installations, but Jeremy mostly works from home doing IT stuff. Why?”
“I thought you said that Trent taught self-defense.”
“He does. He also does alarms and acts as a bodyguard and even retrieves fugitives who violate their bail sometimes. Didn’t he tell you that?”
She dropped her face into her hands. “God, I am such an idiot.”
“Chloe, there’s nothing wrong with what he does. It’s legitimate, honest work. He’s a hero.”
“He has a gun.”
“Of course he has a gun. Trent always carries one.”
She looked at her friend as if she were crazy. “Always?” She thought of all the times they’d been together. Mia’s birthday party, brunch, game night. “And you think that’s normal?”
“Normal or not, I for one am grateful he always keeps it with him.”
“Grateful? Guns kill people!”
Jade looked at her sternly. “Right, Chloe, guns can kill people—mostly when in the hands of idiots. Trent’s a highly trained professional who’d never be careless with his weapons. He knows how to use a gun and has excellent aim. If it wasn’t for him, I could be dead right now.”
“What are you talking about?”
“What am I talking about? Chloe, what are you talking about? You know what happened to me the night of the party. Trent was there.”
“I know he was there.” They’d kissed. Her chest tightened another degree, but she forced the tears to stay inside.
“Trent saved me, Chloe.”
Her brow tightened, true misunderstanding setting in. “What?”
“He followed me there. To that house. That fucker had me in a headlock with a pistol pointed in my face, ready to take me God knows where and do God knows what to me, and he would have if it wasn’t for Trent showing up.”
“You said the police came.”
“After Trent showed up. By the time the cops got there the guy was dead. Trent shot him and saved me. Why do you think he was the one who had to file all the paperwork?”
Chloe pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to piece all of this together. “I thought…”
“Chloe, I love you, but there is no way Trent will ever be a bad guy in my eyes—gun or no gun. He saved my life. He’s saved lots of lives. That’s what he does. His job’s dangerous and he needs to be armed for his own protection.”
Did that mean he had a gun with him the night he drove her to Pennsylvania and she got in the car with him—a perfect stranger? As much as she trusted him now, she’d been crazy to trust him then. Another terrible decision—or was it? He brought her to her kids. He saved her. But had he been anyone else, he could have killed her before ever reaching her children.
Her stomach rolled like unsettled mush. Her back and forth debate was making her seasick. She wanted to accept this part of him, but the more she tried the more she realized how incredibly fucked up she still was from Marcus.
Her hand closed over her mouth. “I’m going to be sick.”
“Look, maybe you should go home. It isn’t like you were even listening to me today. Get some rest. Think about what I said and maybe call Trent. I’m sure he would be willing to explain everything. I know he really cares about you.”
Jade was right. She was no use to anyone in this state. And now, after hearing Trenton had killed the sick monster who had attacked her friend, she didn’t know what to think. “He had that gun in his truck when Mattie was with him.”
Jade shook her head. “Maybe we have different perspectives on the Second Amendment, but your son was safe with him, no matter what was in his truck. I’d never second guess Mia’s safety around him—if anything, I’d feel more secure knowing he’s there.”
She understood she was overly sensitive when it came to weapons, but most people weren’t threatened with a pistol in their face by the one person who promised to always love, honor, and cherish them. She couldn’t expect others to understand what made her this way. Even she struggled to understand the things she’d been through.
“You’re right. I need to go home.”
“If you need to talk later after you’ve gotten some rest, call me. God knows by tonight I’ll need another break from Jeremy.”
She tried to laugh but failed. After Jade left it only took Chloe a matter of minutes to gather her things.
“Jennifer, I’m going home for the day. Cancel my last two appointments and you can head home yourself unless you want to stay. Either way, I’ll pay you for a full day.”
She walked to the door and ignored her secretary’s look of surprise. “But Dr. Wolfe, you have messages.”
“Just leave them until tomorrow.”
She walked to the parking garage in a daze and climbed into her car. She still had a few hours until the boys got off the bus and a nap sounded … necessary.
The hazy sky thickened with clouds and the air smelled of rain. With the sun tucked away, the day felt later than it actually was. She cried most of the way home, afraid she’d screwed up the best possible thing in her life because after all this time her past still haunted her. After all of these years, despite her training, there were still crippling issues she couldn’t get over.
She parked her car and grabbed her purse from her backseat, tipping it by accident in haste but catching it before everything dumped on the floor. As she headed up the walk the first spits of rain moistened her cheeks, followed by a loud crash of thunder.
Before she even had the door unlocked the rain turned to big fat drops pelting her clothing and destroying her hair. She rushed over the threshold and quickly shut the door, flipping the lock back in place.
“Hello, Chloe.”
Her heart lodged in her throat at the dreadfully familiar voice and she spun around, certain she was hearing things. But he was there. In her home. “Marcus.”
“You’ve been a very bad wife.”