Chapter Eighteen
They didn’t sit down to actually eat dinner until well after ten. Following their explosive homecoming, they rested on the floor for a while, simply holding each other. Eventually, their comforting caresses escalated into heavy petting. Without making it to the couch they made love on the carpet in front of the fireplace.
As the sun set, Chloe began to shiver. Trent threw some wood in the fire, got the blaze going, and pulled a blanket over them as they lay watching the flames and talking for hours.
When both their stomachs started growling he got up to put a pot of water on to boil. Grateful he made the sauce the day before, he set it on the stove to warm and returned to the floor with a few extra pillows and a bottle of wine.
They shared a glass of wine and almost made it to round three until he heard the water boiling and figured he’d better drop the pasta in. One more time on the floor and he’d be sending Chloe home with permanent rug burn.
As he mixed the salad and stirred the sauce he watched her meander around his home, wrapped in a blanket, cradling a glass of wine to her chest, touching his things, adding something that had always been missing to his home. He loved her. There was no doubt about it.
He loved the way she blushed, he loved the way she smelled, he loved that he could convince her to be daring, yet she always remained just a little bit cautious—sometimes even fragile. He loved the way she was with her children, the way she escaped a horrible situation and started over again when most people would’ve just settled for the hand they’d been dealt. He loved how she talked about her patients with such affection, yet kept the details of their private life private.
There wasn’t a single thing he disliked about her. He wanted to tell her all of this but wasn’t sure how or if it was too soon. Probably.
Never interested in sustaining a long-term relationship with a girl, it seemed odd he suddenly wanted long-term with Chloe. Rainbows and unicorns. His biggest fear was that she would find out his connection to Marcus and turn her back on him forever. The longer he waited the more his secret felt like a betrayal.
He couldn’t let that happen, so he decided to tell her the truth tomorrow at breakfast when they were both sober and wearing clothes. If they went out to eat, she’d have to listen to him, and by the time he explained how he’d done the right thing and told her ex to get fucked, she’d understand he was still a good guy.
After dinner, she helped him do the dishes and wrap the leftovers. Not seeing the point in replacing their clothes, he offered her his robe. He liked seeing her in his things, his robe, his home, his kitchen, his bed. He treasured these moments alone with her. Here, he saw a side he didn’t see when she was Chloe the mother, or Chloe the neighbor, or Chloe the doctor or friend. Here she was just Chloe, beautiful and his.
They showered and she fell asleep in his arms. Sleep wasn’t so easy for him that night. He desperately wanted to confess his feelings. He didn’t need to hear the words back. He just wanted her to know how he loved her. But until he confessed all, he couldn’t put that on her shoulders.
There wasn’t much in his neck of the woods as far as fine dining went, so the following morning he took her to a small diner on the outskirts of town. The drive wasn’t long, only ten minutes, but he was anxious and dreading the moment he’d make his confession.
On the way there she called Adam and Tommy to check on the boys.
“Everything good?” he asked as he parked the truck and she slipped her phone back into her purse.
“Yup. The boys are just getting up now.”
“Good.” Damn, he was nervous.
She pulled her purse off of the center seat and blushed when she spotted her panties from the day before. “Oh, my God, what if someone walked by and saw these?” She laughed. “I’ll tuck them in here for now.”
His smile died as she reached for the glove compartment. “Chloe, wait—”
“Jesus Christ!” She pressed her body firmly into her seat and stared into the glove compartment in horror. “Is that real? Why do you have a gun?”
He quickly shut the compartment. “I have to carry one for work.”
“To install security systems? Trenton, that’s not a small gun. You took Mattie to the store in this truck. Did you have a gun in here then? With my son?”
Clearly, she wasn’t a member of the NRA. “Chloe, calm down.”
“No, I’m not going to calm down. There’s a fucking gun in your glove compartment!”
He never heard her curse before. This wasn’t good. “Listen to me, doll. I have a gun because my job requires it. I’m licensed to carry it and I know how to use it. It isn’t loaded. I keep the bullets under my seat.”
“I don’t understand why you need a weapon like that.”
He took a deep breath. “Remember how I rescued that minor a few months ago?”
“What minor? Like a coal miner?”
“No, a minor, as in underaged girl.”
She frowned. “What are you talking about? What girl?”
“Remember, Georgia told you all about it that night at Adam’s…” His words faded away. “Right. You were drunk.”
“I don’t remember any of this.”
“I know. Okay.” He took another deep breath. “There was an underage girl who ran away. Her parents wanted to find her. The cops were looking into it, but her folks wanted to use every resource. Pete got a call, asked me if I was interested, it was good money, so I said yes. I found her, returned her to her parents, and then the cops followed up with any legal issues.”
“I thought you did security and taught self-defense on the side?”
This was going to bite him in the ass if she jumped to conclusions before he had a chance to sit down with her and rationally address their first meeting. “I do, but sometimes I also do stuff like … find people.”
His chest tightened as he held his breath. Was this going to be it? Was she going to realize how he came to be in Maryland that day many years ago? He couldn’t screw this up.
“Chloe, listen to me. I’m in security. We all are, me, Pete, and Jeremy.”
“Jeremy works with computers,” she snapped.
“Right. He works with computers, breaking and rewriting codes at every level from the small business to larger government agencies. But he also knows how to tap into private lines and track devices.”
“You lied to me.”
Fuck. He hadn’t even gotten to the dishonest part yet. “I didn’t lie about my job. I told you I’m in security and I am.”
“People … hire you? Just to find kids or is it anybody? And do you work for the police or Pete?”
“I work for myself, but anyone can hire me for the right price. Can we go inside and talk? I swear I’ll give you nothing but honesty and you can ask me anything. Let’s just go in and get some coffee first.” He needed other people around to ensure she would give him the chance to explain everything before freaking out and possibly making a scene.
She frowned, her gaze locked on the glove compartment as her head shook in some sort of denial. Why was it so difficult for him to accept he kept the weapon for work? “Chloe, it’s just a handgun—”
“Exactly. It’s not for hunting and it’s not in a safe. It’s here in your car while we’re on a date.” Her eyes glazed with tears. “I want to go home.”
“Chloe—”
“Take me home, Trenton. Now.”
He stared at her for a moment, knowing this was the time to come completely clean with her or forever hold his peace. “Chloe, I’m not a bad guy. I help people when they have nowhere else—”
“I want to go home,” she shouted, tears spiking her lashes. “You don’t understand how guns scare me.”
“It’s unloaded—”
“Don’t patronize me! You have no idea what I’ve been through. Have you ever had a gun held to your head, Trenton? Put in your mouth? Have you?”
His voice lowered, his stomach twisting at the thought of where this was going. “No.”
“Well, I have.” She wiped her eyes and clutched her purse like a shield to her chest. “I want to go home.”
His heart broke at the sight of her tears, the frantic way terror showed in her eyes as if she was seeing something he’d never be able to see for himself. “Chloe, we can talk about it—”
“Please just do as I asked.” She sniffled and drew in a jagged breath, her upset getting the better of her and turning her words choppy. “I don’t need to rehash my past to know where I stand on weapons. I need to get out of this truck and right now I want to go home.”
“Okay. I’m sorry.” His heart raced. He’d never seen a woman go from laughing to inconsolable in such a short span of time, but the last thing he wanted to do was make her more upset. “I’ll take you home.”
He reluctantly turned on the truck and backed out of the parking lot. She sniffled and wouldn’t look at him, her gaze completely focused out the window. He needed to fix this.
“Chloe,” he said softly, pulling onto the highway. “I only have the gun for protection. I’ve never had an accident or even a close call. I’ve been practicing at shooting ranges since I was eighteen. That’s over twenty years’ experience with handling weapons. I swear—”
“Please stop,” she begged, as she wiped her eyes. “I understand why people have them. It’s their right. But I don’t like them in my life. I spent years living in a house with guns and it… The more you say the more upset I’m getting. I shouldn’t have to explain why they scare me.”
He could imagine why, knowing what he did about her ex. “I’ll take it out of the truck. From now on I’ll make sure it’s nowhere near you or your boys.”
She hastily wiped away another tear. “I can’t…” Her words broke as she fought a sob. “I’m sorry. I want to accept this and be okay with it, but I can’t, not after what he put me through. You aren’t some stranger to me, Trenton. You’re in my life. You’re personal. You’re around my children. I can’t be with someone who keeps guns. They just … terrify me.”
Jesus. What had that fucking scum bag done to her? “Chloe, I swear on my life I’d never misuse a lethal weapon. Don’t do this. I didn’t know.”
She used her shirt to blot her eyes. “Why do you need it in your truck?”
“Because my job’s dangerous and sometimes it’s necessary. Sometimes a gun’s the difference between saving an innocent person and watching them die. I like be prepared. Guns can save lives, too.”
“Have you ever shot at a living person?”
He swallowed, his fingers curling tight around the wheel. No more lies. “Yes.”
“On purpose?”
Out of context, there was no way to pretty it up. He had blood on his hands. He’d taken lives. But he didn’t usually beat himself up over it, because he also saved lives—saved innocent victims and helped those who couldn’t help themselves. “Yes, but—”
“Then you can stop talking and take me home.” Her lips trembled.
She was clearly too upset to see the whole picture, so he gave up trying to persuade her and hoped she’d calm down. Once she did, he’d have better luck reasoning with her.
When he pulled up to her house he tried to reason with her one last time. “Please don’t let this mess up everything we have.”
She stood outside his truck looking up at him. “How many guns are in your house right now?”
“They’re all locked up.”
“How many, Trenton?”
He swallowed. “Nine.” Plus the one in the glove compartment and the ones he kept at his sister’s.
Her head lowered. “I won’t go back there until it’s zero. I’m sorry. I just can’t.” She shut the door and didn’t look back as she entered her house.
“Fuck!”