When he walks in, he stops in his tracks. A gun is in his hand and I notice it straight away and take a step back. He looks to me and then at the gun. He places it in the back of his pants and shows me his hands. It’s a sign that he won’t hurt me. I know he would never, but what that gun probably did tonight is hurt someone. He takes a step closer to me and I take a step back. He drops his hands to his side, tiredness showing in his features as he rakes his fingers through his hair.
“Did you… did you kill someone?” I ask, my hands twitching beside me.
“Do you want the honest answer?”
“Yes,” I say, trying to stand taller.
“Yes,” he replies. I sag a bit, the hope leaving me that he didn’t, but he did.
“How could you?” I don’t understand it, why he does it. It will never make sense to me, no matter how hard I try to wrap my head around it.
“They were going to kill me,” he says, and my head springs up in surprise. I thought it was a hit.
“Who?”
“The people that want what they paid for back.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you.”
“It’s going to get worse now, isn’t it? They’re definitely coming now?”
“They are.” I start to shake. I don’t know what to do. I won’t go back there, I won’t turn into that person again. He notices, his hand reaches up and touches me on the arm. I jump backward. His face changes to hurt.
“I won’t hurt you, Rose.” He takes another step back.
“I know,” is all I can say. I want to assure him that I feel safe when I’m with him. The words won’t leave my mouth, though.
“I think it’s time you leave, and go as far as you can.” I shake my head, I can’t do that. I can’t leave Isabelle. “I can’t protect you and kill them at the same time, Rose. Please leave. Get your things and go as far away as you can.”
My head keeps slowly shaking no. “I can’t do that, Liam, I won’t.”
“Rose, they want to kill you.” A whimper leaves me. They don’t want me for the reasons I thought. Worse, they want to kill me.
“You will save me won’t you? Won’t you, Liam?” I ask, hope sounding in my voice. He looks down to the ground, and I immediately feel bad asking those words. He shouldn’t have to save me, I should be saving myself.
“With my life,” he whispers, and I believe him. He would, he would give up his life for me. He thinks I’m more deserving of a life than him. I disagree, people might not realize it, but he is needed. He is needed so much.
“I want your life, Liam, just me.”
“It’s already yours,” he says, wrapping me in his arms.
After last night I hardly slept. Even in his arms I couldn’t sleep. I dropped Hayden off at school, and now I stand outside of Isabelle’s, waiting for her to come out. I stand there waiting for what feels like a lifetime when she finally comes out. She spots me straight away and runs to me screaming my name. The teacher sees me and waves. They aren’t fans of Roger, which I’m thankful for.
“I missed you so much, Mommy,” she says, wrapping her hands around my neck. I squeeze her to me, soaking up her smell and her smile. The dark thoughts ease when she releases me. Will I see her again? Is it smart if I stay?
“When can I come over next?” she asks me.
“Maybe next week, baby,” I say. The teacher calls her back. She hugs me tightly before she runs away.
Casey is there when I walk back to work. She’s standing at the entrance of my work, holding her belly. She’s about to drop, and she does not like being pregnant.
“Is he it?” she asks as we reach the elevator. I know she’s talking about Liam. She likes him but doesn’t like what he represents.
“Yes,” I say without hesitation.
“And he makes your girlie bits sing?” She winks at me.
“None of your business, but yes.”
“I’m so horny, like all the time. Sax has started working late. I think I have oversexed him,” she complains.
“Oversexed him?” I question her, holding in my laugh.
“Yes, on top of being horny as all hell, they say it helps induce labor. And I tell you now, I’m over being pregnant and having a fat vagina.”
“Oh God, Casey, please don’t say that to me again.” I cover my face with my hands and she just laughs at me.
“How did it go with your mother?”
“Good, I think she’s trying harder now.”
“I think she is too.”
“Hey, can Hayden stay at your house tonight? I have to get up early for work, and I don’t want to wake him.” She nods her head and kisses me goodbye. If I knew what’s about to come, I would have hugged her longer.