Chapter 22
Anna
Whack!
Whack!
A scream left me. Pain exploded over my ass and side, and no matter how hard I tried to move to get away from the weapon he held, there was nowhere to go. I may have been standing now, but with my hands cuffed above my head and my feet secured to the restraints bolted to the floor, I was trapped and unable to see what he was beating me with.
Whack!
Whack!
Whack!
“Say her name. I want to hear it leave your mouth.”
He stepped to the side and his hand lifted in my peripheral. I sobbed through the helplessness. Through the anger and hate I had for not only him, but myself. The emotion knew no bounds. I knew no bounds. An apology wouldn’t fix this. I’d already tried to take that route. The only thing my Christian ways got me was laughter. No One didn’t want my weakness. He wanted my monster. He wanted me to fight and be the Annalise he’d always dreamed of. To crumble under his torture and start begging would only get me so far—dead. And I wasn’t ready to die. If I had to be the woman I tried so hard to keep locked away, so be it.
“Do you really think I cared to remember her name? She was no one to me. You are no one to me. I think you of all people would have picked up on that.”
Whack!
Whack!
“Ahh!” My legs gave out from the pain, but I managed to push myself back up as the man circled around. He was fuming. He was thriving, just as I knew he needed to. I wanted to continue to goad him, but I could barely breathe through the agony my body was undergoing.
Abuse was becoming a daily thing. From beatings to sexual assault from his fingers—there wasn’t an hour where something wasn’t happening. I didn’t even get to sleep alone. The table he kept me fastened to became his bed as well. The killer didn’t leave my side. Not for meals. Not even to go to the restroom or shower. Everything he needed was right there, and from the looks of it, he had enough supplies to last as long as he wanted.
“Surely we’re not going to spend all day playing this game again? Have you learned nothing?”
“I’ve learned a lot, actually. I know we’re in a basement or partially underground. I know we’re relatively close to the city. I heard sirens the day before yesterday. It was faint, but it was unmistakable. I also know—”
Whack!
Fire blazed along my shoulders, taking my breath away. More warmth traveled down my back, giving an itching sensation. He’d broken the skin again.
“You’re just so smart, aren’t you?”
To argue more was something I couldn’t afford to do. Instead, I switched gears, gaging every reaction that flickered on the man’s face. I wanted to know him. To see how he thought and felt toward everything. I needed to find his weakness.
“Do you believe in God?”
A deep laugh. “That’s right. You’ve been born again.”
“I’ve repented my sins. Have you ever done that?”
“There is no God.”
I paused, not wanting to think about how I was questioning my own religion.
“Oh, there’s a God. I have no doubts in that. Now, whether or not he cares is another story.”
Footsteps made their way closer as No One came to face me. “Go on.”
“Well…the last few months, I’ve thought a lot on religion. I’ve been tested more than ever. Some things I’ve overcome. Others, I’ve failed. I’m starting to think this is my punishment for turning my back on God. You see, throughout my life as Anna, I’ve been so immersed in the ways of the bible. God has been all I’ve allowed myself to get to close to. Given my past, you can understand why. I’ve asked forgiveness for my part in the murders. I even think it worked. Things got great for a while in my youth, but…”
“For a while? What do you mean? What happened?”
My head lowered and my eyes rose to meet his. I craved to spark his fear of me. I wanted him to see the killer behind my eyes. “I’ve killed as Anna, too.”
Whack!
Whack!
“What are you getting at? Why are you telling me this?”
I fought to catch my breath through the cries that got ripped from deep within me. “Why not? If anyone can understand me, it’s you. Look what you’ve done. Your victims weren’t me, yet you killed them anyway. You’re no different than I am. You can use me or your mother as your excuse all you want, but we both know the evil that lives inside of us. Let me ask you. Who will you kill once I’m dead? Where will your fantasies go once the real thing that drives you on is nothing but a memory?”
Silence followed as he began to circle to the far side of me. Still, I continued.
“You want to kill me, but we both know what will happen if you end my life. Nothing will ever be this good. No one will give you the thrill or satisfaction I do. And you can’t stop. You may be able to for a while, but the need will never disappear. Trust me.”
“You’re wrong. Once you’re in pieces, I’m done.”
I laughed under my breath.
Whack!
“You think that’s funny?”
The sob was automatic. Fifteen. Fifteen lashes.
“If you’re so sure about that, try testing yourself. Go a week without hurting me. Without touching me in any way inappropriate. I bet you can’t.”
“Why would I want to? I have nothing to prove to anyone, especially you. You’re here for one reason and one reason only: to die. And by whatever way makes me the happiest. Before that, though…” No One stepped far into my peripheral and I tried following with my eyes as he began walking behind me. My lids closed and I waited for what I feared the most. The gloved fingers that rubbed over the cuts and blood on my back had me cringing. My body began to tremble, and I couldn’t keep the guttural sound from leaving me. Pain from the stinging, violation from his touch—the two had alarms screaming in my mind.
“After I shower you, I’m going to fuck you. I think it’s well overdue.”
“If that’s what you want.”
Whack!
The slap over the opened wounds had my mouth flying open, but no air came or went from my lungs.
“It is what I fucking want. And this is about me. Not you. You are nothing but a murdering whore like your mother. Don’t think I didn’t see you and that detective. You two couldn’t keep your hands off each other. For someone so religious, you didn’t mind sinning where he was concerned.”
I sniffled, trying to stand taller. “What we did wasn’t a sin. We’re married in God’s eyes. And we’re going to spend our life together once I leave here. We’ll be happy. We’ll be a family. It’s more than you’ll ever have.”
“Marriage and a family, is that right?”
Laughter grew as I felt his presence retreat. When metal clinked from behind me, fear edged in even worse.
Footsteps approached again and I stiffened as the sharp end of a blade pressed into my hip and began to trail up my side. When it began to travel the distance of my raised arm, tears were desperate to fall.
“Maybe I should give your detective a reason to move on. We’ll watch him for a while and see just how dedicated he is to the memory of a woman he believes is dead and gone. That’s what love is all about, isn’t it? Devotion. Dedication. Commitment. How long do you think it will be before he finds someone new?”
Pressure gripped my ring finger and I didn’t get the chance to process the question before pain like I never felt before left my mouth dropping open and me screaming with everything I had. The sawing of the knife cut through the layers of meat and skin—quick tug, saw, tug, saw… Blood poured down my wrist, and back and forth he cut, until my finger was twisted and ripped the rest of the way off. The agony and realization collided and I vomited without control.
Laughter rose and terror sunk into depths I never knew existed. I thought there was a chance I could get control of the situation, but I wasn’t in control. I thought God would carry me through this, but he wasn’t. He’d placed me in a role I never thought possible. I was the victim, and I was doomed.