Chapter 27
Detective Casey
“HCG. HCG…why does that sound familiar?”
I clenched my hands as I paced the living room. Diego was sick with worry. Over what, I wasn’t sure. I hadn’t seen him since the funeral and really didn’t think I would again unless he had something important concerning the case. Which, apparently, it seemed he did.
“HCG. It’s the pregnancy hormone. It was found in Anna’s blood. Braden, I’m sorry…Anna was pregnant. From the results, it was estimated she was about six to seven weeks along when her finger was taken.”
“Pregnant?” The word drew out and I grasped to the back of the sofa. Although the word registered, the significance was taking it’s time to soak in. Maybe I didn’t want to believe it. Maybe my heart and mind couldn’t accept that on top of everything else. It was one thing to lose Anna—God, I would never fucking recover from that—but knowing she was carrying my child? There was nothing that could even begin to describe the torment eating at my very soul.
“Why don’t you take a seat? You’re not looking so well.”
“No. I’m fine. Pregnant?” I blinked as my mind processed. “I had a child? I was a father and I didn’t even know? Now…?” I wiped away the tear. In the last two decades, I hadn’t come close to crying once. Yet, I had shed more tears in the last few weeks than I had over anything else.
“I’m sorry. I truly am. You’ve been through enough already. The last thing I wanted to do was come here and tell you this, but you deserved to know.”
“Thank you. I don’t care how bad it is. If it’s about Anna, I have to know.”
“Of course. I understand. And again, I’m sorry. I have to head back. Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” I wiped the wetness from my cheeks, following him as he headed for the door. The moment he opened it, Lucille stormed through, almost colliding with him. But she didn’t see Diego. She saw no one but me.
“You did this to her? You did this!” Fists beat into my chest and nothing was making sense as I tried to wrestle and calm her down. Hadn’t Lucille and I been on good terms? I hadn’t once left her side at the funeral. We’d held each other and cried for the following two days. Now, as she attacked me, it was like she was a stranger.
“What are you talking about?”
Still, she tried to swing as her body twisted in my arms. “You got her pregnant before marriage. You led her into temptation and damned her! God took her away because of you! So many sins. You just couldn’t wait. I trusted you, and you lied to me!”
“Lucille, stop.”
Diego pulled her around the waist, breaking us apart. She went even crazier, wiggling free. When she managed to put a few feet between us, she pinned me with a glare while she pointed. “You are going to burn in hell for what you’ve done. You killed her and my grandbaby, and someday, you’re going to pay!”
“I am paying! Do you not see my pain? Do you think I wanted this?” My fists clenched through the agony shredding into my heart. “I loved her. I was going to marry her. Anna once told me a vow was stronger than a piece of fucking paper. She knew my intentions. God knew my intentions. She always said we were married in his eyes. I am not the bad one in all of this. She was my life!”
“You’re such a clever liar. No wonder you had me fooled. The devil wears many masks. I should have been wary of the one who shed tears, yet wielded the sword. She didn’t deserve God’s wrath for your evil ways. And that’s what it was. Evil. Vows—no vows. God obviously knew you didn’t mean them. That’s why he took her and the child. He was sparing them. Sparing them from living a life of hell with you!”
It took everything I had not to strike her. In all my life, I had never had the urge to hit a woman, but she went too far. “Was he sparing them or punishing her? Make up your damn mind.” My head quickly shook and I grabbed her arm, pulling her out of the front door as she fought. “No, you know what, get the fuck away from my house and don’t you ever come back. I loved Anna, and how dare you blame the death of her and my child on me. If anyone here is evil, it’s you.”
Lucille jerked away, walking backward as she yelled, “She’d be alive if it weren’t for you! You did this. You brought this on yourself, and God always punishes those who walk with the devil.”
“Best look in the mirror, woman. What’s that about those casting stones? If you ask me, you’ve cast one too many.”
I stalked inside, slamming the door. My adrenaline was pumping, making my entire body tremble almost convulsively.
“I should have warned you. When I spoke to her earlier, she was really upset. I never expected she’d come and say—”
“Don’t,” I said, cutting Diego off. “It’s not your fault. It’s her. I knew how she was, yet I turned a blind eye. Just…”
My head swam as I spun in a circle, unsure of where to go. The anger inside—the crippling rage and pain—it was becoming too much. The urge to drown my reality in liquor was damn near driving me crazy. I knew I couldn’t go that route again, but hell if I didn’t want to.
“She’s wrong. This had nothing to do with you or God’s wrath. Don’t let her get to you. She’s upset because she lost her daughter and now her grandchild. Nothing more.”
Diego’s grip clamped to my shoulder and I nodded, but knew it wasn’t just that. Lucille truly believed God was responsible in one way or another. After meeting everyone at her church and sitting through the service, I couldn’t help but question if she was right. Didn’t I already blame myself? It was just one more thing on top of the guilt I already harbored.
“It’s fine. I’m fine. I’m sure you have lots to do at the station.”
“And what about you? What will you do?”
I glanced over, shrugging.
I didn’t know. I had enough in my savings to survive for a few months, but as for a future route, I didn’t want to think about it. I wasn’t ready for that.
“You haven’t officially resigned, Casey. I know you’ve talked with the Chief, but nothing is set in stone. Ask for more time, then come back when you’re better. You’re a damn fine detective. One of the best I’ve ever met. We all know what you’re going through is hard, but don’t throw away your career because of the pain you’re feeling right now. Give it time. We’ll be waiting for you to come back.”
I didn’t respond as I walked him out. The last thing I wanted to think about was work. My mind kept going back to Anna and my child. It had me grabbing my jacket and the leash. Bullet was already jetting back and forth to the door, waiting on me as I put on my chest holster, personal gun, and slid on my jacket.
What I was doing, I didn’t have a clue. Anna was dead, my child…gone forever. But that bastard who took them from me wasn’t. He was still out there somewhere, and I’d find him.
“Come on, Bullet. Time to go.”
I clipped on the leash and shut the door behind us before heading in the direction opposite of my usual route. Cars were still steady from rush hour and I kept our pace faster than usual. My mind begged to run. To escape it all.
Faster I went, letting my heart speed to keep up. The cold air filled my lungs, but the temperature didn’t come close to the ice in my veins. I had been a father. A husband, in the eyes of God. And it was all gone. I was no one. No one.
I growled at the thought. Memories of his face flashed and fury twisted within. Honking sounded in the distance and I sniffled through the tears streaming down my face. When I reached where I needed to turn off, I had to stop to catch my breath. The top half of my body leaned forward and I ran my hand down Bullet’s back.
“Braden?”
The feminine voice had my head lifting. There was a familiarity about it, even if I couldn’t immediately place it. Dark hair blew out from under a pink beanie and I watched as a woman I’d seen at church hugged to her jacket and waved me toward the cafe she was standing outside of.
Unhappily, I walked over, dreading any sort of conversation with her.
“I thought that was you. Janneke, we go to church together. You’re Anna’s…” she trailed off, and I was barely finished nodding before her arms rose to hug around my neck. The action had me stiffening. I gave her a quick pat on the back as I broke away, uncomfortably.
“I’m so sorry to hear about Anna. We’ve known each other for years. We’re all heartbroken over her loss. She and I used to be good friends.”
Friends? My lips separated, and I couldn’t deny wanting any information on Anna I could get.
“You were friends with Anna?”
She shivered, nodding. “We used to be very close during her college years. Not so much the last few months, but I guess she was pretty busy.”
The smile she gave indicated that was my fault, but she didn’t seem to be holding negative feelings toward Anna missing some church. She didn’t act like Anna’s mother.
“I was just headed inside.” She paused, brushing back the dark strands blowing across her face. “Do you want to go in and have some coffee? It’s really cold out here. I can tell you some stories about Anna if you’d like. We had some good times.”
My eyes glanced to the side and I froze. Across the road in a parking lot diagonal from where we stood, sat a man—one I knew without a shadow of a doubt in my mind. He had his window rolled down, holding a camera not far from his face—aimed right at me as if he wanted me to see.
“Hey!” Instinct had me racing forward, right through the middle of traffic. Tires squealed from what seemed like all around and my palm slammed against the hood of a car that got way too close. The silver sedan whipped a U-turn, gunning it across on-coming traffic before I could make it to the far end of the curb. But I didn’t stop running. Bullet kept pace at my side and the surroundings blurred as I continued after nothing. My mind was back to revenge, and he’d once again taken a piece of Anna with him as he drew me far away from Janneke.