Chapter 24
Detective Casey
“Three locations. You can see where all three hit the chest, but only one exited out of the back. Right here, on his shoulder.”
I rolled the body more in my direction to display the wounds to Diego. The night was a blur. The shooting was probably gang related and it was like I’d been cast right back into my past, before Anna or the Rock River Killer. It was déjà vu, yet so out of a touch with reality, it almost seemed surreal.
“No witnesses, though I can’t say I’m surprised,” Diego said under his breath. “No one talks around here. Best we can do is continue to canvas the area and see if someone opens up. Maybe, if we’re lucky, they’ll call and leave a message or tip.”
I nodded, but didn’t say anything as I stood and pulled the gloves free. Within an hour, the body was being removed. A deep sigh left me and Diego followed as I headed back toward the cruiser. The crowd was thinning out. We’d done everything we could. Now it was a waiting game until evidence or a witness made themselves known.
“Coffee?”
I glanced over my shoulder. “Do you even have to ask? We’ve been out since noon. First, the stabbing. Now, this? I need more than coffee if I’m going to make it through all the paperwork collecting on my desk.”
There was a pause as we got in the car, but I didn’t make it half a block before Diego started to speak again.
“How are you holding up? You haven’t mentioned Anna in days.”
My lips tightened and my heart ached at the sound of her name. “How do you think I’m holding up? I want to find her already. I feel helpless. It’s been weeks, yet we know nothing. We hear nothing.”
“Someone will see him, and when they do, we’ll get him.”
“And she’ll be dead by then,” I growled, gripping the steering wheel. “I want her now. I want her home.”
Silence reigned as I weaved through traffic. My throat was so tight, I couldn’t swallow. I shouldn’t have even been here. If it weren’t for me begging to come back to do something, I doubted I would have been able to. And I had to keep busy. I had to find her, or I was afraid of what I would do. Or worse…who I would become.
“We’re going to find her. Mark my words. We will.”
I didn’t glance over. I couldn’t. My focus stayed ahead, taking in the station as it neared. When I parked and stepped out of the car, the cold air did little to clear my mind. I was exhausted. I couldn’t remember the last time I had any good sleep. I kept my gun ready. I stalked neighborhoods. I fucking prayed like I had never prayed before. I even attended Anna’s church, vowing to God that I would continue every Sunday after if only he’d bring her back to me alive.
Nothing.
“I can handle the paperwork if you want to go home, Casey.”
“I can’t go home yet. I’m fine.”
I held the door open, then followed Diego as we made our way toward the back where our desks were. A few men were present, but I gave no one my attention as I sat in my chair and glanced over the stack of mail and papers littering the surface. I didn’t even know where to begin.
A sigh left me and I reached for my personal mail. It had collected over time because I hadn’t been interested in seeing what sort of bills or promotional junk was being sent my way. I scanned through the envelopes mindlessly, putting them down when nothing jumped out as something I needed to look at.
“What about that one?”
Diego handed me a Styrofoam cup of coffee and I took a sip, glancing at the package sitting at the back of my desk. My brow creased and I picked it up, not recognizing where it had come from. It wasn’t my personal mail. Had it been delivered to the station while I was out?
“What is this?” I flipped the manila envelope around. My name was written across the front, but there was no address or return address, which told me it hadn’t come from the mail.
“Open it.”
My stomach twisted and I hesitated, pulling out a pair of gloves and sliding them on. I wasn’t sure why, but all my years as a detective told me I had to be cautious. My gut told me I had to prepare myself.
Tape lined the edges and I carefully broke it. The moment I opened the top and slid my hand in, I froze. Nausea left me lightheaded for reasons I didn’t even want to face. The mind numbing terror was one I had nightmares about. My brain said I was overreacting, but my instincts told me not to go further—to protect myself from what I was almost certain I was holding.
“Fuck, you’re pale as shit. What is it?”
My hand slid out, removing a plastic baggy. The severed finger had the room rocking around me. Diego was saying something, or shouting something, but I couldn’t make it out. All I saw was the small, frail length…and I knew.
Tears blinded me as I opened the envelope even wider. The curse was immediately cut off by a broken-up breath. Flashes of the picture wouldn’t register all the way, but I knew it was her—my Anna.
“Let me. You don’t need to see this.”
“Don’t.”
My entire body trembled through sickness and rage as I pulled out the multiple pictures and note. The words I didn’t care for. I barely even cared that they were there as I took in the woman I loved dangling from a pair of cuffs.
Blood covered her nude body and I could tell she was limp from the way her head was hanging. Dead? God, she looked it.
“Jesus. Casey, let me have it.”
I ignored him. Picture after picture, my fears grew and with them, the rage—the heartbreak. Tears were evident in her flesh—her back, her sides. There also looked to be bruising on her face. The closer I stared, her cheek even appeared swollen.
The last picture came and I sat there for a few seconds before bringing the letter back to the front.
Detective Casey,
It seems I can officially say hello. I’ve watched you for quite some time, and I have to say, this is long overdue. Normally, I’d ask how you’re doing, but I’m afraid the circumstances won’t allow a response. That’s okay. I have an idea.
Oh, Annalise says hello. Or should I say, said hello?
I’m afraid she won’t be speaking anymore. Or breathing, for that matter. We did have a very good, long conversation before I killed her, though.
Did you know she actually had high hopes of marrying you? Funny, right?
I told her for being so religious, you’d think she would have waited to lose her virginity on her wedding night. Seems that wasn’t the case. It’s okay. I don’t mind your sloppy-seconds. How could I? Such sweet pussy like hers; you don’t come by that often. You were a lucky man. I figured since you kind of loved her too, I’d give you closure and send her ring finger since that’s the closest you both will ever get to actual marriage.
But look on the bright side, I’m finished, so you can get on with your life. And if you really want honesty, I think we can both agree I did you a favor. Probably even saved your life. You should thank me. I know I’m thanking you.
-No One
Tears. Pain. Anger. It exploded and cloaked me until I felt numb. Lowering the note and pictures, I stood. I saw nothing. I was…nothing. No One. Yes. What mattered if I didn’t have Anna? This job? Fuck no. He was thanking me…? From what I could gather, it was me who led him right to the woman I loved. Right to Anna. I killed her, just as much as he did. Hadn’t I been cautious at the beginning? Hadn’t I worried about this?
The room kept shifting as I pulled the badge from around my neck and let it fall to the desk. Next, my gun. My head was shaking, but I couldn’t speak. Or think. I was done. That’s all I knew.
“Casey. I’m…sorry. I know this looks bad, but maybe—”
“She’d dead. And we couldn’t save her. I led him right to her. I did this. I did this,” I repeated. “Take me home.”
“The FBI—”
“Take me home! If they want to know anything, they can come to me.”
There was no more arguing. No more words at all between us. The drive flew by, and before I knew it, I was crossing the threshold into a home I had been invited into—a home that once housed love and passion. And hope… I held onto the idea of a future with Anna like I held to the promise of a new life. Marriage. Children. I had dreamed of it all, and like anything good that had come into my life, it was stripped away from me. Anna was gone from me forever.
“You’re back earlier than I expected. I figured I’d be spending the night.”
Swallowing was impossible and my shoulders drew in with the need to break down completely as Bullet raced in my direction. Lucille walked forward, only to slow as I wiped away the single tear that escaped.
“What…? What happened?”
My hand came to my mouth and I lowered my head. Pressure pushed against my legs at the puppy’s happy jumps, but I couldn’t manage to reach out. Deep breaths left me and another tear fell free.
“I’m so sorry. I…”
Lucille gave a quick shake of her head and stepped back. “Sorry? What for? This isn’t about Anna, is it? I mean, I’ve been praying. The church—”
“We all have, but I have reason to believe…I saw…I’m so sorry.” Another deep breath. I managed to close the distance as Lucille let out a loud, whaling cry. Arms encircled me and I held tightly, damn near losing it completely as I held the woman I once thought I couldn’t stand. Thing was, the few days with Lucille gave me hope. Fuck, she made me believe Anna would be found from how hard we were all praying.
“This isn’t happening. Not now that she has you.”
Harder, she cried, and damned if I could hold in my own hurt. Her words were like a sledge hammer to the dam keeping the tears back. They poured down my face, and with them, all my wounds were opened. I had no idea where I was going to go from here, but nothing seemed to matter anymore. Minutes went by, and when Lucille and I broke away, exhaustion took over.
“You’ll be contacted soon,” I forced out. “If you want to stay here until everything passes, you’re more than welcome. You don’t have to be alone.”
She wiped her face, hugging to her stomach as she stared ahead in a daze. “You’ll be staying here then? At Anna’s?”
“I’m not going anywhere. Ever. I don’t think I can.”
Again, I broke down. Lucille’s gaze cut up to mine, and it had her crying again too. “I have to go home. I have to process and pray. There are calls to make, and like you said, they’ll be trying to get ahold of me.” She sniffled. “What happened? You said you saw her? She was…dead?”
Bile burned my throat. “I can’t say since it’s an open investigation. What I saw, though…the evidence. There was a confession of her death.”
Harder, Lucille cried, nodding. “I’ll let you know when they contact me. You’ll come to church service with me tomorrow?”
“Yes, of course.”
At her nod, she reached over to get her purse and headed to the door. “I’ll pick you up at nine. Anna would have wanted this. She would have been so proud of you.”
She leaned in, kissing my cheek before she reached out and opened the door. Blindly, I locked it behind her. Anna. Yes, I suppose she would have been proud. Me, I was just desperate to be a part of anything that would have involved her. My heart was aching. Breaking.