Machi

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Imperial sat on the edge of the tub, letting her fingertips brush over the warm water lightly. Creating swirls and small choppy waves, she kept her head down, never allowing her eyes to meet mine.

“I know you want an apology, but I can't give you one.” Laying out the pastel purple dress for her on the bed, I flattened the creases and smoothed the cool silk.

The dress was simple, no beadwork, no frills. The smooth material would hug her frame perfectly, touching all the right curves. It was perfect for her.

Imperial didn't need anything fancy to stand out, she could do that solely on her own.

“You think you know what I want—” A cynical laugh echoed out from the bathroom as she stood and unclasped her bra, dropping it to the floor. “But an apology, that's the furthest thing from my mind.”

Slipping her fingers between her panties and skin, she guided them down over thighs. Kicking the undergarments to the side, the straight lines of her back dipped and rolled fluidly, arching and curving like a jaguar in the trees, stalking its prey.

The lean muscles in her legs flexed and lengthened as she lifted her feet off the floor and stepped slowly into the hot steamy water.

My cock pulsed as her ass pushed back, and the side of her breast teased my eyes. She was hard not to look at, I couldn't stop myself from just standing back and watching her.

The way she glided into the water, the delicate motion of her hands as she rested them around the sides, the way her neck elongated as her head fell forward and her hips disappeared behind rugged white paint; I wanted all of her.

She wasn't my weakness, she was the reason I needed to keep going.

Fuck, if only she could see it. If only she knew what I was willing to do to keep her safe.

Scooting herself down, she laid her head on the porcelain and shut her eyes.

“You can't understand it right now, but you will”

Shifting, her knees rubbed the side of the tub, making a loud dragging sound. “I understand, I get it completely. You're a fucking dick, you played me, you used my one weakness to get what you wanted.”

No! Don't think like that, you can't think like that!

Taking in a deep breath, I rubbed the back of my neck. “You're wrong, it's not like that at all.”

“Yes, it is. There's no point in pretending, Machi, I can see right through you.” Slinking down lower, she dipped her head under the water, disappearing beneath the surface.

You're seeing what you think you see, but you're wrong.

I wanted to tell her the truth so fucking badly, I wanted her to know everything. But letting her in, giving her those answers would make her a target.

What if they got to me before I got to them? They already knew more than I thought about who I was, maybe they were sitting back, waiting for me to strike.

If Imperial knew the depth of my pain, if she knew what had happened to my sister, and how far I was willing to go; no one would be able to save her once I was gone.

I wasn't going to place a giant ball of danger at her feet. That was the reason I had taken her to begin with, to keep her safe.

Fior and Z, they weren't like me, they would never allow her to walk this earth again after what she saw. She would have been tortured, raped, beaten beyond recognition. . .

And if she wasn't dead by now, her last breath wouldn't be far away.

Walking over to the bathroom, I stepped to the edge of the tub and looked down on her. Her hair was fanned up around her head, her eyes were shut tight as tiny bubbles escaped from her nose while she held her breath.

Her nipples were hard, perked and firm, growing darker in color as the hot water made her skin blush. Licking my lips, I lowered my hand into the water and ran my fingers across her belly, caressing her soft flesh.

Imperial's eyes popped open, her pupils dilated, growing into black voids I could jump into. Shoving herself up, she sucked in water as she attempted to speak before her lips hit the air. “Wh—what the hell are you doing?”

“I know what you want and I know what I want. But what we want isn't a choice either of us can make. You know that right?” She didn't answer as her fingers clenched the edge of the tub and her knuckles turned white. “Tell me you know, tell me you understand that.”

Lashes flickered, brows curved high, but still she stayed silent.

My hand found the dip in her spine, lifting her chest higher. “I know you hate me, I know you're going to leave here today and you'll never look at me the same. But until you know the truth, until you really know what I've done, it's only hate. I can accept that, I can handle that, but you can't fear me, never fear me, Imperial.”

Plush lips parted as her tongue licked her bottom lip. I wanted to kiss her again, I wanted to enjoy one more pleasure before my world was wiped clean, before everything I knew was gone.

Before I was buried with my family.

Was that wrong? Was it wrong to desire something today that would be gone tomorrow? Did it make me a horrible person for wanting one more second with her when I knew it would be the last?

No, it made me human.

“I'm not afraid of you, Machi.” Lifting her hand to my cheek, she touched me softly. “I have no reason to fear you anymore, and hate. . .” Her fingers drew up and teased her lip as her face contorted in thought.

Sucking in a sharp breath, I stared at her. She struck a nerve, one that had been locked up tight, ignored and dormant for far too long. My heart skipped uneasily, my stomach jolted as it rumbled in a way that made me shiver.

Even without the truth. . .

Even knowing what was coming. . . She still couldn't say she hated me.

“I made you a promise, don't think I forgot that. If I could change all of this, every last second of what I've done that brought you here—I would.”

Imperial wiped her eyes, pushing the water out of her face. Blinking rapidly, her lashes still held small droplets on the tips. Each one was shining like crystal against her eyes, sparkling and glinting in the light.

She had never looked more beautiful than she did in that moment. There was vulnerability in her ocean blue eyes as they flooded with despair. I didn't like seeing her so lost and saddened because of what I was doing, but right then she was real.

There were no walls holding her up, there were no barricades or anger keeping her locked inside.

Right then, she gave me the true Imperial.

“Why are you telling me this when we both know what's coming?” Pushing herself up, she held her palm out and touched my chest. “What part of you is talking right now? Is it the man or the monster?”

Holding her hand on my chest, I rubbed the back of her palm. I wanted her to feel what I was doing for her, I wanted her to know from just my fingertips that there was more going on behind the surface.

She'll see it all. And when she does, she'll understand.

“This is still just the beginning, nothing is over, the beginning doesn't mean it's the end.” Stretching my hand out, I tried to touch her face, her lips, her cheeks.

But she stopped me, clasping my hand in the air and lowering it to the cold tub. Turning her lips up into a forced smile, they barely reached her eyes. “I just want to get this over with. Please, don't make me want what I can't have.”

I wanted to hold her face and kiss her lips, I wanted to climb into the tub with her and take what was mine.

Because that's what she was, I had taken her and claimed her and wrote my name all over her.

“I wish I could whisk you away from this place and keep you for myself. But that's not safe for you. People would come to hunt me down, men would climb mountains to have my head. I couldn't live with myself if you got hurt, Imperial.”

“It's too late for that, Machi, I'm already broken.”

Cupping her chin in my hand, I lowered my face, forcing her to look in my eyes. “You're not broken, and when this all over, I hope you can see me as the man I was, not the man I had to be.”

Her breath hitched, eyes flashing in bright fireworks as the tiny water droplets broke free and exploded on her skin. “What makes you think I don't see you now?”

My heart hammered inside my chest, flooding my veins with liquid fire.

All this time I was trying to save her, and in reality, Imperial had saved me. She had stormed my heart and woken me up, forcing me to breathe my first true breath in years. I was alive again.

I love you.

Could she see what I felt? Could she hear my heart beating for her?

My lips arched and curled to form the letters, but I couldn't find the voice to transform them into sound. Letting her hear me speak those words meant I was walking away from something real. It meant willingly abandoning a hopeful future for a past I couldn't change.

And it meant breaking a promise that ran far too deep to take back.

Her long lashes lowered, blanketing her gaze. A tight frown perched on her lips as her hand lifted to my cheek. “I know, you don't need to say it. But if I can't have it, if I can't live it, I can't say it either.”

Brushing my lips against hers, I spoke softly, letting her feel my words. “I promise when you leave here, I'll find you. Some how, some way, I will find you. Even if it's just in your dreams, I'll be there.”

Her mouth pushed onto mine, filling my chest and heart with the strength I needed to move forward. There was understanding in her kiss, an unspoken permission to do what I needed to do.

Holding her face, I pressed my forehead to hers, peering deep into her eyes. I wanted to remember right then, the way she looked, the way she felt in my hands, the way the cheap shampoo feathered its way into my nose.

I never wanted to forget that moment.

A single teardrop rolled over her cheek, splashing into the water below. Stroking her thumb up and down over my jaw, she sniffled. “I hope you do, Machi, I really do.”

Releasing her, I stood up and took a step back, wiping my hands down my face. “I'll be in the hall, come out when you're done.”

Nothing was going to change what was happening; Imperial was being sold.

But I hoped she could forgive me.

Because I wasn't freeing her the way she wanted me to, I was ending years of suffering my own nightmares.

None of this was fate, it was choice.