My back was aching as I walked up the stairs. Even the soles of my feet were aching. And I barely did anything today. Nobody would let me do anything. I wasn’t allowed to leave the bed or the couch.
I sighed, my shoulders dropping. I was bored, and I missed Alessio.
Eighteen hours without him.
The last time I saw him was the night before, when I played the piano for him. After that, we went to sleep.
But I woke up without him, his side of the bed cold. Like he wasn’t even there.
He must have left as soon as I fell asleep.
I didn’t even catch a glimpse of him, and it was already night. His whole day was spent in the basement. I tried not to think about that.
I acted as if he was out, dealing with some other kind of business.
Just not that type of business. The one I knew he was dealing with right now.
I still shuddered when I thought about what I did to Alberto. It might have been only one bullet, but his screams still resonated through my ears.
All the pain he was going through at the moment at the hands of Alessio was almost unthinkable.
The thought of it should have been revolting. Even if it scared me, I didn’t feel bad. He deserved it. After everything he had done, Alberto deserved it.
His end was here.
When I reached the landing, I paused, taking a deep breath. Rubbing my aching back, I made my way to the piano room.
“Phoenix, it’s okay. You can go now. Alessio will be here soon,” I said when I reached the door.
“Boss said—” I cut him off with a shake of my head.
“I know what he said. But it’s only for a few minutes. Please go and take some rest. You must be tired,” I said, sending him a smile.
Phoenix shook his head. “I’m sorry, but you are not to be left alone. It’s a strict order from Boss, and I have been assigned as your bodyguard for the moment.”
A frustrated sound came from my throat. It had been like this since Alberto was captured and Alessio spent most of his time in the basement.
I was followed everywhere. If it wasn’t Phoenix, then it was either Viktor or Nikolay.
They were always behind me, keeping an eye.
“Alessio will be here any moment now,” I tried to reason with him. There was an uneasy feeling inside of me, having the men always following me around.
“I will leave when he gets here and you are in his protection.” Phoenix placed his hands behind his back, his legs widening in a protective stance. His face was expressionless. In that moment, he reminded me of Nikolay.
They were related after all, and the resemblance was there. Especially when Phoenix was serious in a matter.
“Stubborn men,” I muttered under my breath.
“His mind will be at ease if he knows you’re safe and under our watch. Grant him this wish, Ayla.”
My shoulders dropping in defeat, I sighed. I understood his point, but it didn’t mean I agreed. I had a strange feeling inside me, my chest feeling impossibly tight at the thought of these men protecting me.
It was almost like they didn’t care about their own lives. It was always about…me. My safety. My needs.
It saddened me to think they might care less about themselves.
Phoenix must have noticed my change of emotion because he sent me a kind smile. “You are carrying our future, Ayla. I don’t know if you understand this, but this baby will continue the Ivanshov’s legacy. Your protection and her protection are our first priority. We don’t protect you only under Boss’s order. We protect you because we want to.”
Everything he said made sense. “I understand,” I murmured, my eyes going to the staircase.
I felt him before I even saw him. His presence already made my heart beat faster. My stomach fluttered, and I felt giddy. Was that what they called butterflies? I felt it every time I thought of Alessio or saw him. Even at the mention of his name.
When I finally saw him, my lips stretched in a smile. Like my body wasn’t my own anymore, I glided toward him. He opened his arms for me, and I curled into his embrace. Alessio had this effect on me.
The pull I felt toward him was too strong to fight. And I didn’t want to fight it. Instead, I wanted to bask in his presence and live in him.
“You can leave,” Alessio said, his voice hard and grating to my ears. My eyes snapped open, my arms tightening around his waist.
“Boss.” Phoenix acknowledged his Boss’s order with a nod and walked away, but not before slightly bowing in our direction.
I stared up at Alessio to see his face emotionless. That was when I noticed the dark aura around us, the air feeling chilled. His face was hard, his eyes gleaming dangerously. There was a sense of viciousness around him.
When he looked down at me, his eyes meeting my own, his expression didn’t change. His head descended until our lips were inches apart. Our lips met in a breathy kiss. It started slowly before he pressed his lips harder to mine, demanding access.
My lips parted, his tongue sliding against the seams of my lips before meeting my own. I moaned into his kiss, standing on my toes, wanting to be closer to him.
When he finally pulled away, I felt breathless and was left wanting more. I felt flushed as I looked up at him.
My heart sank when I saw his eyes. They held no emotions.
My gentle lover was still missing. The realization pierced my heart.
I missed him, and I wanted him back.
But I knew he wouldn’t be back until Alberto was dead. This was a side of him that I had to grow accustomed to. He was, after all, a killer. The Pakhan. A ruthless and heartless one at that.
I sighed and grabbed his hand, entwining our fingers together. His gaze stayed on my face. This was something that would never change.
His attention. When he was with me, I had all this attention. When we were in the same room, his eyes were on me. Always.
“C’mon. I want to play for you,” I said, pulling him into the piano room.
Alessio took his place on the couch while I made my way to the piano.
Princess moved around, almost eagerly, as I placed my hand over the piano keys. When I started to play, the melody came through, a soft wave cocooning us. The little one almost instantly settled down.
My eyes went to Alessio, and I saw him relaxed in his seat too. His eyes never left mine, and I reveled in the fact that I had all his attention.
He was mine…and I was his. We were one.
After the first song, I paused. The baby kicked, and a small laugh bubbled out from me. “You like hearing me play?” I whispered, my hand caressing over the bump.
Another kick. A hard one at that.
I played another song, and her movements paused again.
Just like her papa, I thought as I played a third song.
When I was done, I made my way to Alessio. He pulled me into his lap, his arms going around me.
Placing my head over his shoulders, I relaxed in his embrace, letting him hold me. He buried his face in my neck, and I felt him breathe in my scent. His lips pressed against my neck, a soft kiss that made me shiver.
“I missed you,” I whispered. Alessio didn’t reply.
I looked up and palmed his cheeks. That was when I noticed that his hair was wet. I didn’t pay attention before, but he was only wearing a black dress shirt and black slacks.
There was no blood on them.
In fact, he smelled clean.
Did he shower before he came to meet me?
I caressed my thumb over his cheek, feeling the rough stubble under the pad of my fingers. Of course he showered. Not for himself. But for me.
After some time, Alessio stood up, still holding me in his arms.
“Will you sleep?” Before I could stop myself, the question was already asked. I knew the answer, but I still hoped.
His steps paused for a second before he continued to our room. Alessio placed me under the comforter before crawling in bed behind me. Pulling me into his arms, he laid out a simple command.
“Sleep, Angel.”
My eyes closed, and safe in Alessio’s arms, I felt asleep. Our baby eventually settled down too.
I felt him shift beside me. With my mind hazy with sleep, I felt Alessio getting out of bed.
I wanted to call out to him, tell him to stay, but sleep was dragging me under. My eyes stayed closed, and my mind drifted off.
The last thought that registered was that Alessio never answered my question.
But now I had his answer.
***
I dried my hair with the towel, making sure my dress didn’t get wet in the process. I woke up to Maddie beside me. Alessio was long gone. He had left just after I fell asleep, and he never returned.
I didn’t catch a glimpse of him at breakfast, either. With a heavy heart, I came back upstairs and spent some time in the tub, letting my mind think of something happy.
A knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts. My back straightened, my heart pumping faster.
Even though I knew I was safe, the fear was always there. It was instilled in me.
I wondered how long it was going to be like this. Would I always be this scared? Would my nightmares ever end?
My past kept haunting me—every single memory kept playing in my head. I had a feeling that it wasn’t something I could escape easily.
“Ayla?” I heard Viktor call.
My shoulders sagged in relief, my breath leaving my lungs too fast. “Coming!” I called back. So it was Viktor’s time.
Quickly combing my hair, I let it fall against my back. With a sigh, I opened the door to meet Viktor’s worried gaze.
“You were taking too long,” he said, his eyes raking over me protectively, like he was looking for some sort of injury.
I shook my head and closed the door. “I was just taking a bath. It’s relaxing, especially for my aching back and feet.”
Viktor nodded before stepping back, quickly realizing he was crowding my space. He rubbed his head nervously before clearing his throat.
“What are your plans for today?” he asked, waiting for me to move. How was it possible for them to talk so casually when I knew exactly what he was doing just an hour ago in the basement?
They changed so fast. One moment, a ruthless killer while the next, they looked like a typical man. Someone gentle.
“Nothing really. I think I will just spend it with Maddie.”
And wait for Alessio to come back to me.
My steps faltered when I noticed Lyov coming up the stairs, looking too pale. My eyes widened in surprise, and I quickly lurched forward.
Viktor followed suit, grabbing Lyov by the arms and helping him over the last few stairs. My arm was wrapped around his waist, supporting his other side.
“What are you doing? You should be in bed,” I reprimanded.
Lyov tried to shrug us off. “I’m fine. I was just shot…I’m not an invalid.”
My eyebrows furrowed. “That’s not good, Lyov. Sam said you should be resting. You will tear your stitches if you keep walking around.”
“Am I being scolded?” He chuckled dryly, peeking up at me with a hard stare.
I swallowed hard and grew nervous under his unyielding stare. For a moment, I had forgotten who he actually was.
“No…I didn’t mean—” I stuttered.
“Only my wife scolded me,” he whispered. It wasn’t something he meant for us to hear. But we did. Viktor’s eyes met mine, and we both hid our smiles. He wasn’t angry at me.
Viktor and I helped Lyov to his room. When he was finally settled in his bed, I pulled the bedsheet over him. His breathing was labored, showing sign of pain.
“Should I get you a painkiller?” I asked quietly.
Lyov shook his head. Stubborn man. At least now I knew where Alessio got his traits. They were exactly the same.
“Thank you,” he breathed out.
I froze in shock, and I blinked. And blinked again. Finally, I smiled, patting his hand. “Don’t thank me. Just get well soon.”
I took a step back and saw him wince in pain. He shifted around, looking for a position that was comfortable.
Seeing him in pain brought another thought to mind. My gaze shifted to Lyov, and I finally asked the question that was burning in my head.
“How did you know Alberto was there?” I asked, moving closer. Looking back at Viktor, I waited for their replies.
“I was…watching you and Alessio. My window faces the path to the creek,” Lyov mumbled, breathing harshly through his pain. My eyes went to his windows and saw that he was right.
“After you disappeared into the woods…I saw another shadow. Didn’t see the face. I didn’t…know who it was. I just ran. I just knew I had to get to you both. Isaak and the others saw me running out of the house. They followed, not really knowing why I was running to the creek.”
Lyov paused and looked out of the window. “I didn’t know it was Alberto until it was too late. I didn’t have time to pull out my gun or anything.”
“We’re just glad we got there in time,” Viktor continued when Lyov fell silent. “If something had happened to either of you—the three of you—”
He didn’t finish his sentence, leaving his thoughts hanging. But I knew what he meant.
“Thank you. I don’t know how to properly thank you for this. I will forever be grateful. You saved our lives. If something had happened to Alessio or my baby, I don’t think I would have survived it.”
I knew my words affected both men, because they both looked away. I saw Viktor pinching his eyes closed, his fingers tightening in fists.
I smiled, placing a hand on his arm. “Let’s go. Lyov needs to rest.”
Viktor and I left Lyov to sleep, closing the door behind us. Placing my forehead against the door, I released a sigh. We could have lost so many lives. The thought sat heavy in my heart.
“Alessio is a lucky man to have you.”
My eyes snapped open, and I turned around to face Viktor. “Why do you say that?”
He regarded me for a moment, his eyes turning soft. “You have a kind heart. You see the good in people, even when there isn’t really anything to see. You disregard all the bad and focus on the good.”
My heart fluttered, and I could feel my cheeks heating under his praise. “Maybe it’s because nobody ever cared about me. I don’t want others to feel the same pain I have felt. It slowly eats you alive.”
Viktor stepped forward, moving closer. His hand came up, and I stood frozen, forcing myself not to flinch at this man’s unfamiliar touch.
His fingers caressed my cheek softly. “You’ve been through so much, yet you hold so much strength. He tried to taint you. He tried to break you, but instead you came out stronger.”
“Alessio is my strength,” I whispered back, thinking of him. “If it wasn’t for him, then maybe I wouldn’t have made it out alive. He kept me alive, Viktor. Alessio kept me going.”
Viktor paused at my words, and I saw him swallowing hard. He looked like he was in pain.
Confusion clouded my mind as I stared up at him. “How much to do you love him?” he asked quietly.
“More than I can love myself,” I replied, the truth so easy to speak. “He is everything. You’ve got it wrong. It’s me who is lucky to have Alessio.”
“Maybe.” He chuckled, but the look in his eyes… Why did he look so heartbroken?
“Tell me how much you love him again,” he said, moving even closer.
A shiver ran down my spine, and I licked my lips nervously. Viktor wasn’t acting like himself.
“I love him. He is my reason for living,” I replied, trying to move away from his touch. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, but that didn’t mean his touch was welcomed. Not like this. There was something too intimate in our position.
“Viktor…what are—” I started but quickly broke off in a gasp when he placed his forehead against mine. He pinched his eyes closed, his chest moving against mine as he tried to control his breathing.
“Say it again,” he demanded. His eyes were still closed, but his fingers continued to caress my cheek, his touch feather-light. I barely even felt it.
“I…love him.”
Viktor opened his eyes, and I saw his gaze drifting toward my lips. My eyes widened, and my heart leaped to my throat.
No. Not this. Please…not this.
“Good,” he muttered.
I stayed frozen against the door, not daring to move a muscle. Was this really happening? Did Viktor have…?
No. He couldn’t.
“Good,” he said again. And then he smiled. “Keep loving him.”
I almost flinched when he moved his head up. When I felt his lips on my forehead, I swallowed hard, waiting for this to be over.
His next words made my heart flutter. “Don’t ever stop loving him. Because no other man is worthy of your love.”
My shoulders sagged, and I let out a harsh breath. Viktor pulled away, his heat leaving me. I stayed against the door, watching him.
“You both deserve each other,” he continued. “I’m just really happy that Alessio found you―”
He paused, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “Or should I say, it was you who found him.”
Viktor winked, reminding me of the time when I first met Alessio. He was right. It was me who found him. Everything started when I got into his car.
“I’ll never let Alessio live that one down. Poor bastard. His woman had to come looking for him while he was wallowing in self-pity.”
His laughter made me feel better, all the tension leaving me. “Hey. That’s not nice.” I swatted his arm. “I don’t think you want to get killed, Viktor.”
He chuckled low. “No. He loves me too much to kill me. Seriously speaking, I’m like his first love.”
Shaking my head, I rubbed my baby bump. When our laughter finally died down, Viktor nodded toward the stairs.
“After you, baby girl.” He smirked with a wink.
This…this was the Viktor I knew. The other one from before…he had confused me. It wasn’t him.
Mumbling a thank you, I walked away, Viktor following closely behind.
“Lucky bastard,” I heard him whisper.
I shook my head but continued moving. There was no use thinking too much into this.
Viktor cared for me. I knew that.
But I also knew he would never betray Alessio.
And he would never betray me, either.
Viktor was Alessio’s brother. The trust they had between them was something that couldn’t be broken. I also trusted Viktor wholeheartedly.
When Maddie pulled me in her arms and Viktor kissed Lena on her cheeks, I smiled.
We were a family.
Sitting on the stool, I watched Maddie and Viktor bicker over small things.
My mind drifted to Alessio. I felt a pang in my chest. I’m waiting, Alessio. I miss you, but I will wait for you.
I just had to wait for my gentle lover to come back.
While I waited for him, I knew he was avenging me in the most horrific way. His thirst for revenge had clouded his mind.
But I didn’t mind.
I loved him either way.
Because just like Alessio said; he was my Monster. Just like I was his Angel.