When the contractions hit me again, it was impossible to hold my scream. Letting out a bellowed shout, I tightened my fingers around Alessio’s hand.
Maybe I was crushing them impossibly tight. Too tight.
I even caught him wincing a few times.
I didn’t have the time to care when I felt another pain in my lower belly. It felt like my stomach was going to burst open any second now.
“Ouch. Ahhhh…” I cried out as another contraction hit. This time, I was full-on sobbing. “It hurts…” I moaned, trying to find Alessio’s face through my blurry vision.
When something cold touched my forehead, I sighed. So soothing. Maddie had been doing this for a while now.
I was sweating, it was too warm, and it hurt. After wrapping some ice in a towel, she pressed it over my forehead and dragged it softly over my face.
Only Alessio and Maddie were with me in the delivery room. Not that it stopped the others from bursting into the room whenever I screamed.
Like now.
“Shit. Is it time?” Viktor practically broke the door in his haste.
“No. She still isn’t fully dilated,” Maddie replied, sounding tired.
“Oh, okay,” he muttered, closing the door again.
“Alessio, it hurts…too much…” I huffed as I felt another contraction coming.
“It’s okay. Breathe. Breathe. Ivy said breathe,” he said stiffly. I could hear the fear and panic in his voice. His voice was too low…too soft for my liking.
The pain hit me harder than before, and I screamed yet again, bearing down at the pain.
His voice was next to my ear. “Breathe, Ayla. Breathe.”
“I am breathing!” I screamed at him. Anger suddenly swelled inside of me, and I gripped his hand harder.
He hissed painfully.
That hurt? Huh? Huh?
I was pushing his baby out of my vagina, and he was complaining about his hand?
I tightened my fingers even more, maybe too much.
“Alessio!” I hissed angrily.
Weren’t my contractions coming too hard and too fast?
Alessio was saying something incorrigible, and I heard Maddie arguing with him. My ears couldn’t make out the words. The pain was too much.
When Alessio let go of my hand, I wanted to cry.
Why did he let my hand go? Was I too mean?
No. Come back!
Opening my eyes, I saw Alessio pacing the length of the room. He gripped his hair tight in frustration, and I suddenly felt bad for taking my anger out on him.
For the first time, I noticed that his suit jacket was no longer on. His tie hung loosely around his neck, and the first two buttons of his shirt were open. His hair lay on his forehead, and sweat masked his skin.
He looked as tired as I felt. Like he was feeling my pain.
“Where is Ivy?” he growled for the hundredth time.
Ivy came and went a few times. But because I wasn’t ready and Princess wasn’t ready to make her appearance yet, she went to check up on her other patients.
“Alessio, can you help me up?” I croaked out. My throat felt dry from hours of screaming out my pain.
His head snapped to me, and his eyes met mine. Those intense blue eyes never failed to get all my attention, even when I was in impossible pain.
He hurried to my side again and pushed a hand behind my back, helping me in a sitting position. Ivy said I could walk around; it might make the labor go faster.
And that was exactly what I was going to do.
The little smart princess was coming out of me soon, whether she liked it or not.
“Are you sure?” Alessio asked quietly. He appeared almost scared to talk to me.
I nodded silently as he helped me off the bed, with Maddie always at my side.
They helped me around the room toward the huge blue bouncy ball. With Alessio in front of me, he helped me sit on it. He knelt between my legs, his hands on either side of my hips, holding me securely.
I could see the lines of stress on his forehead. He looked like he’d aged by five years in just hours.
I held Alessio’s cheeks while softly bouncing on the ball. “I’m going to be okay. Princess is going to be okay too. Have a little faith in me, would you? I can do this. We can do this.”
“I can’t see you in pain like this, Angel,” he muttered hoarsely.
Just then, another pain ripped through me. My nails bit into his cheeks before I quickly moved my hand away.
It felt like I was being ripped apart from down there. My breathing was labored, my chest heaving with exertion.
“Oh…oh…” I breathed through the pain as another contraction hit right after the other. Again and again, my stomach rippled in pain. It traveled all the way to my back. It felt like the whole lower half of my body was being contracted in pain.
Alessio’s hand went to my stomach, and I saw a flash of pain on his face. “I’m…fine!”
It was meant to be soothing, but it ended with a shout as another contraction ripped through my lower belly.
My princess wasn’t happy in there any longer. It looked like she was ready to come out even if it meant ripping through my belly and vagina.
“Help…me…up.” I huffed through my harsh breathing. “It hurts…”
Alessio sprang into action, and in mere seconds I found myself reclined in the soft bed. My fingers found their way around his wrist, refusing to let him go.
I had a killer grip on Alessio as the contractions kept coming, right after the other. I had no break or chance to breathe through the agony.
A sudden urge to push ripped through me. My legs fell open, and with Alessio helping me sitting up halfway, I bore down on the pain.
Finally, Ivy made her entrance.
I sighed and then shouted. Her eyes widened, and she hurried to me, peeking under my gown.
“Oh. I see the head. A full head of black hair,” she sang happily.
“At least she isn’t bald,” Maddie mused with a wink.
“My daughter isn’t bald,” Alessio replied, looking quite affronted that Maddie would even think such a thing.
I was pretty affronted too.
But there was no time to think through it when I was hit with another agonized contraction. “Ahh…”
My scream was probably heard all over the floor. I panted, but still my princess didn’t make her way out into the world.
Stubborn. She was going to be stubborn like her father.
Just what I needed…another Alessio.
I felt Alessio’s warm breath next to my ear as he whispered soothing and supportive words. He was gentle, kind, and so loving.
I fell more in love with him in that moment.
But then hated him the next.
When another pain came, he tried to encouraged me with “Breathe, Angel. Push. Just breathe. It’s okay.”
Breathe? Just breathe?
I crushed his hand in mine just when Maddie yelled, “Shut up!”
“Okay. Sorry. Don’t breathe. It’s not okay. Don’t breathe.”
WHAT? WHAT?
That earned him another hand crushing.
Maybe I also bellowed that I hated him and never wanted him to touch me again.
“Alessio, just shut up,” Maddie growled when I started crying through the pain.
Ivy, from her position between my legs, threw supportive words at me, telling me to push on every contraction.
She had been repeating this for too long now. I had been pushing! But no baby yet.
I sobbed with each push. I even pushed Alessio away.
I saw the look of panic on his face. He looked hurt. And the fear…it was all over his expression. He was slightly shaking with it too.
My emotions were a mess. One minute I hated Alessio and couldn’t bear for him to touch me, while the next minute I cried because he was a few steps away.
“I’m sorry,” I screamed with another contraction. “I am such…a bad…wife. I’m…sorry…come back here.”
Alessio was at my side in a second flat. He gripped my hand again, but this time his lips were on my forehead.
He placed kisses over my sweaty face, gentle sweet kisses as I pushed and screamed through each contraction.
Alessio whispered against my skin. How much he loved me. How strong I was. He was in awe with me and loved me more every minute.
It made my heart soar, and I even smiled once.
“I love you, Angel,” he whispered against my lips. Such a sweet kiss. Sweet words. Everything I needed.
“You amaze me every day. Every time. You are my strong Angel. I know you can do this. I know you can bring our daughter into this world like a true warrior Angel. Push. Just one more push,” he said against my forehead.
His arm held me up as I screamed with a push. I felt something wiggle out but not enough for my baby to slip out.
“Arggg,” I gasped and then bellowed.
I was dying. Was it possible to die?
Nope. I couldn’t die. I still had to meet Princess. I still had to walk down the aisle in a wedding dress to my husband.
“What are you doing? Can’t you see she’s in pain? Do something!” Alessio finally screamed, losing his patience.
He poured his fear and anger on Ivy, who just shook her head.
“Alessio, stop screaming! They’re going to kick you out!” Maddie snapped, her hands holding mine firmly.
“They can’t kick me out! I own the fucking hospital!”
Huh? That was news. Since when?
I looked at him, confused, as another pain crashed through me. This time I bit my lips and tried the hardest to breathe through my nose.
“Alessio bought the hospital a few weeks ago. To make sure it was safe and all for you and Princess. He was quite obsessive about it,” Maddie explained in my ear.
Wow. Just wow.
But I didn’t have a chance to be thoroughly wowed because Alessio was still screaming at Ivy. He looked like he wanted to shoot the woman. Or maybe he was plotting her murder in many different ways.
Oh dear. Not good.
“Natural birth is like this, Mr. Ivanshov. Please be patient. One more push and your daughter will be here,” she said calmly.
His gaze turned to mine. “You should have accepted the drugs for the pain, Angel.”
His eyes were begging me. Just like they did when a nurse came and asked if I wanted the drugs. I screamed a no, and they scurried out of the room.
Alessio was hot on their tails, trying to bring them back to put the drugs in me. He almost forced them and dragged one of the women inside.
I refused yet again.
I regretted my decisions some hours later, but it was too late by then.
Another contraction was making its way to my belly. At the same time, Ivy yelled for me to push.
With Alessio’s lips next to my temple, the words I love you ringing through my ears, I pushed with a shout.
We kept going back and forth like this. An urge to push, a wail of agony, another push. Finally, I felt a hard pressure in my lower region, then something—someone—slid out. It felt weird, but I didn’t have a chance to think through the pain.
The pressure finally alleviated and then…silence. For about two seconds.
Because when my screaming ended, my daughter’s wails were heard.
“It’s a girl!” Ivy announced proudly, holding my baby girl in her arms.
A daughter. A princess. A tiny little baby girl to call our own. Someone who we would shower with so much love and care.
“Mr. Ivanshov, do you want to cut the cord?” Ivy asked.
She moved closer and brought our daughter next to Alessio. He looked completely in shock and lost as he followed Ivy’s instruction and cut our baby’s cord, while still holding my hand in one of his.
Ivy placed Princess on my bare stomach while she continued to wail.
A mighty loud wail. One that everyone heard because I heard a shout of victory coming from outside my room.
My baby girl was still wet and gooey with blood, but I didn’t mind. Having her against my skin, actually holding her, it made my eyes blur with tears as I cried.
I was holding my daughter.
Months ago, I thought I would never get a chance. But now, she was here.
I pressed my palm against her bloody rump as her cries slowly started to calm.
Faintly, I noticed Alessio kissing my face. Peppering my face with kisses, his lips never left my skin. He trembled against me as I cried softly.
“I love you,” he whispered over and over again. With each kiss, those words were whispered against my skin. “Angel.”
My daughter was taken out of my grasp. I watched them clean her as she started crying again. So grumpy. So loud. So lovely.
“Alessio…” I whispered, my voice hoarse and soft.
“You were so strong,” he said against my forehead.
“Thank you, my love.”
“I love you.”
“I know.”
I heard quiet sniffling beside me and saw Maddie crying softly. “She’s here.” I nodded toward the baby.
Maddie nodded. “I’m so proud of you, babe.”
“Thank you for being here with me. I needed you,” I replied, holding her hand tight.
When my baby girl was cleaned and her crying had stopped again, I smiled at Maddie. “Why don’t you go see her?”
She scurried from my side and made her way to my daughter. The little princess was placed in her crib.
Maddie peeked at the princess and be beamed happily. “Aww…she is the cutest!”
Did my heart just accelerate a little bit?
Of course, she was the cutest! After all, she was mine and Alessio’s baby.
I turned my head to the side and faced Alessio. “You have to go see her, Alessio,” I muttered against his lips.
He kissed me soundly, breaking my words. He kissed me until I was breathless.
Alessio still hadn’t seen our daughter yet. What was he waiting for?
“I’m scared, Angel,” he murmured.
“Of what? The man I know is not scared of anything.”
“I don’t know. It’s just that my chest feels a little weird and too tight,” he replied. His gaze was still on mine.
Blue eyes bored into my green ones. Both stared intently, showing the same love.
“She needs you.”
Alessio swallowed hard and nodded. He stood up straight just in time for Ivy to bring our daughter to him.
One second his hands were empty, and the next he was holding our princess.
Well, kind of holding.
He panicked and held the baby out, away from him.
“I don’t…know…what…you…” he stuttered.
“Here,” Ivy explained patiently. She helped him wrap his arms securely around our baby girl, showing him how to hold her properly.
Alessio instinctively brought Princess closer to his chest, and he cradled her there. His eyes were no longer on mine.
No, his eyes were on our precious daughter.
He didn’t blink. He didn’t utter a single word.
Ivy cleaned me up and finished the last stage of delivery. When I was washed and cleaned, I sunk against the pillow and watched my husband hold our daughter.
I watched him watch our princess.
He was completely lost in her. Mesmerized by the tiny baby in his arms.
I saw his arms tighten the slightest bit. Was it a protective hold? Or a possessive one?
Such a sweet sight. My eyes drooped a little as tiredness took over.
Alessio’s chin trembled, and I blinked.
A tear slid down his cheek.
I blinked again.
Another tear.
He was crying.
“My princess,” he whispered gruffly.
His gaze came back on mine. “Our princess. She is so beautiful, Ayla. So, so beautiful.”
He paused and then frowned. “And too small. Is that normal? Why is she so small?”
Maddie snorted. Ivy laughed.
I smiled…my heart full with so much love.
Alessio was right. Princess was a small baby. She was dainty in her father’s arms. Was Alessio’s arm bigger than her tiny body? Yes, probably. She was practically hidden against his chest.
I placed my hands out. “I want to hold her.”
Ivy left the room quietly. Maddie placed a kiss on my forehead and quietly left the room too.
Alessio came to my side and settled on the bed beside me. He placed Princess into the crook of my arm. I cradled her lovingly to my chest.
She shifted around and mewled softly. Her forehead was scrunched up, like she was about to cry.
Her eyes were closed. I wondered what color they would be?
My baby girl was wrapped tightly in a soft blanket. She barely had any place to move. Her head was covered with a pink hat, just as soft as the blanket. I moved the hat, and my eyes found black hair.
“She has black hair,” I muttered. Leaning down, I placed a sweet kiss on her head.
With the help of Alessio, we moved the blanket around. Ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes. Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
She was so small, it made my heart ache. I imagined her in pain, and my heart broke.
No, my daughter would never be in pain. Not like me.
She had an army to protect her. A vicious army at that.
Her father had made sure of it.
Her tiny arms flailed a little, her leg kicked out. Her little cute pink lips burst in a pout. So adorable.
And then she started crying.
“Aww…no crying, Princess,” I said softly. “What do you want? Are you hungry? Shhh…Mommy is here,” I soothed when she continued to cry.
Alessio quickly wrapped the blanket around her again. “I think she’s hungry.”
I nodded. “Can you help?” My head pointed at my laced bodice.
My husband shifted around and unlaced my gown from the front. When my breast was freed from the fabric, I brought Princess closer to my chest.
Her head moved around slowly, looking for something. Her lips made a suckling sound. She was definitely hungry.
With my hand under her small head, I brought her mouth to my left breast. She instantly latched onto my nipple and sucked. Hard.
I winced and let out a yelp.
“That’s my girl,” Alessio said. Proudly, I should add.
“Seriously?” I huffed as my baby started to suckle, taking in her fill.
Alessio’s arm wrapped me as he buried his nose into my neck. He placed a kiss there, letting his head lay on my shoulder. “I love you, Angel.”
His other hand came up and rested against our baby’s fat rump.
We held our daughter, cradling her in our embrace as she fed.
While still suckling, she made a small noise…maybe it was of contentment. But it sounded sleepy too.
And then she slowly blinked her eyes open.
Oh.
A tiny gasp escaped past my lips.
Then I smiled. So beautiful.
Our gazes locked. And I fell in love for a second time.
Blue to green.
Tears blurred my vision. “She has your eyes, Alessio.”
The same exact eyes as her father.
Her crying and moving halted.
Giant bluish steel-colored eyes blinked up at me, framed with thick long lashes.
Her little rosebud mouth pursed around my nipple, and I thought she sighed.
Wait…did she smile? Was that a smile?
“She smiled,” Alessio said, completely enamored at the sight of our daughter.
I knew someone would argue and tell us it was caused by gas or that newborn babies didn’t smile…but she smiled. At me.
And then at her father when her eyes met his.
My heart constricted as father and daughter watched each other. My breath caught, and I sniffled back tears.
Her suckling had stopped, and she blinked.
“She really is your daughter,” I muttered, holding her even tightly.
“She is…she is ours,” Alessio replied, rubbing a finger gently over Princess’s plump rosy cheek. “She is so perfect,” he continued.
I agreed. Perfect. That she was.
When it was clear she’d had her fill and was almost asleep, Alessio helped me tie my bodice again.
Princess blinked her eyes sleepily, and then they closed. She was asleep in mere seconds.
I pulled her up and buried my nose in her tiny neck. Breathing in her sweet baby smell, I smiled and then whispered ever so gently, “I love you, my sweet baby.”
I held her for as long as I could. But sleep and tiredness took over me. There was no helping it. I was going under faster than I wanted.
Alessio quietly took her out of my arms, and I dreamily saw him carrying her to her crib. After placing her down, he came back to my side.
“Go to sleep, Angel. I will be watching over both of you,” he muttered softly to my ear.
He kissed me on my lips. I savored his taste before closing my eyes and succumbing to my sleep.
I had no fear. No panic.
Only love. I felt fulfilled.
I felt safe under my husband’s watchful gaze.
I knew he would protect me and Princess. We were both safe and loved by this ruthless man.