∞ Rabisu ∞

I feel her presence even in my comatose slumber. Her lust has fed me completely, even beyond what I had expected. Almost, as if she is inhuman, a rare creature that I believed to be extinct: my other half. But there she is Joana Mallory, a female human. I thought I had a good match with Colin Thompson, with all his rage, but Joana is something else.

There is something beneath her innocent, pristine exterior that just draws me in. It is the very thing that kept Colin away from her, and it still does. But I have broken the sanctified spell and gave him a taste he cannot undo.

The two of them combined is what I was created for: In love and war everything is allowed, nothing is forbidden. I am not sure if I want those two to find each other again because they might be my undoing. And yet, I want her.

That hasn’t often happened to me. I have only met one creature in my existence that had this effect.

Usually, being fed like this, I don’t wake at all. And there is no need to because I am at my power’s peak like this. Nothing my host can do will threaten me. I could have consumed Colin’s soul when I revived his body, but time has taught me solitude is the cruelest torture: the loss of companionship.

I’ve gotten used to being on my own. Ever since I’ve lost my mistress, my goddess, my love, Ishtar, I have gotten used to roaming the world alone, feeding off the primal emotions of humans. I’ve found enjoyment in the little things, I have managed to survive. All just to honor her memory. Her, who has faded away, but I still feel her, everywhere and in every spirit. Love and war will always prevail.

Joana is a mere human, not a goddess, but still, she makes me sense her as if she was beyond mundane. Maybe, it’s the suppressed feelings Colin has for her. After all, Joana seems to be pristine and innocent. At least to him. But when I tasted her I knew that this was only the flawless surface of something beyond exceptional, something to be reckoned with.

But why does her presence wake me?

Is it because of the impact she has on Colin? Or is it something else?

Yet, I stay silent, waiting. I don’t even need to feed on Colin’s emotions; they just seep into my presence as if it is the most natural thing to do.

I am awake, but barely, still half asleep. Like a ray of sunshine falling on my face, disturbing me. All I need to do is turn around, and I will fall asleep again. And I would, but I cannot turn away from the light that is her. It’s almost divine. But it cannot be her.

When Gods fade they turn into what they despise most: mortals. And as mortals, they die. We entities, we creations of their will, we cease to exist, if we fail to serve our purpose. In return, we can continue to exist if our creator has faded. But most of us cannot live without their master because life without them is meaningless unless you find meaning.

I live, because as long as I do, my mistress, Ishtar, will not be forgotten. I live by using all means necessary. Spreading war? So be it. Disseminating violence? So be it. Humans are cruel like that. It is so much easier to fight than to love. So much easier to ignite lust and violence than romance and courting.

I can sense Colin’s conflict. He wants to go inside. He wants to spare her what he regards as darkness and a curse. This man does not understand me, and I cannot help but wonder if Joana could. I cannot help but be fascinated by her. She is different from most female humans. She follows her impulses and instinct, rather than societies morals, uncertainties, and doubt. She is more like me than Colin is.

Maybe I should take her as my host.

I need to stay silent, and even if I wanted to stir, I am too drowned by the energy I consumed earlier. I guess, I never have been that close to a reversed role than I am now. If I wanted to, I could wake and take over right away, but curiosity confines me to riding in the backseat right now. But I catch myself, silently urging Colin to get out of the car and collect her, take her in, take her to bed, and make sweet love to her.

But he does not.

While I was distracted riding down memory lane and becoming melancholic, he decided that he must stay away from seemingly innocent Joana. He should know, he must know that she is all but innocent. The way she exclaimed his name, the way she gave in to the pleasure, Joana is all but harmless.

Maybe, if I get the chance, I might be able to infest her soul, corrupt it, to transform her into my kind. She would be an extraordinary succubus.

 

∞ Colin ∞

Jo will think that I am an asshole. It’s ironic because I used to be, and now, I’m everything but. Maybe, no but actually, I would have stayed away from her in every possible scenario. Now, I can only try to clean up the mess Rab has created, by being the most magnificent ass on earth and leave her where she is, not invite her in, and locking the door on her.

As her brother’s best friend, I would have picked her up and brought her home, but I can’t trust myself. And apart from that, it would only make her hope, just make her fall for me, because of my chivalry. No, I need to be an ass, a cocky bastard. Jo needs to believe that I just used her and that I don’t care for her. Not even enough to use a condom.

Fuck. I can’t get Jo pregnant.

Just on the porch to my house, I stop. I can’t do this. I need to get her to a pharmacy so that she gets an emergency pill because the last thing I need is her to be pregnant. Especially when I have no idea if there is going to be anything different with the child because a Babylonian demon is possessing me.

“I’ve never hated you like I do now, Rab,” I tell him, but he stays in his oblivious slumber.

Who’s the asshole now?

I guess her heart dropped to the floor when she saw the headlights die and was drowned in darkness. Jo must feel like she is flying when I turn them back on and drive towards her. I feel sick to my stomach as my imagination runs wild, thinking of what it might mean for her to be pregnant with a demon spawn. I’ve seen enough horror movies over the years; I don’t even have to tax my brain. None of the scenarios have an excellent outcome for her.

And it’s all my fault.

I should have left the second I recognized her, the second I saw her and realized that she made me feel different. But if I have learned something during the months I have been under Rabisu’s thumb is that regretting leads to nowhere and doesn’t change anything, unless you do something about it.

I can see her stare at the lights like a deer in shock, and I guess that’s how she feels as I steer my truck towards her, hobbling across the acre. I hit the brakes, knowing that I will skid a little before I come to a complete halt. I lean over and open the door to meet her fixed stare.

“Get in,” I order her, in my usual tone, which I perfected during my service, and she instantly obeys, confusion written all over her face.

It’s cute.

I hate it.

Jo is still stunned, and I bark at her to fasten her seat belt, to which she complies. I hit the accelerator with the same force I hit the brakes and the wheels spin before they get a grip and throw us forward.

I don’t explain myself. I don’t look at Jo. Even though I can feel her questioning gaze on my skin. The last thing I will do is meet her eyes because then she will start asking questions. Questions to which, I don’t want to answer because I would be telling the truth and she would be freaking out.

And then… then what? Would Jo jump out of the car? Would she scream hysterically? Would she laugh because she would think that I was making a strange joke?

Fact is, I have no idea what she would do.

“Where are we going?” Her question is unfazed, and it is me who is surprised, even though the answer is far too easy.

 

∞ Jo ∞

Colin races his truck towards me as if the Zombie Apocalypse is happening and a horde is after me. At least, that’s how he looks like, as the interior light falls onto his face when he tells me to get in.

I have a hard time figuring out what else is written in his features before I decide to stop wondering and get a decent answer, which seems to not be that easy as I thought because Colin hesitates.

“The pharmacy,” he tells me, dead serious and I feel how the blood drains from my face.

How considerate.

How embarrassing.

He has a point, but I can’t make up my mind on whether I should thank him, or hit him. That’s when I realize that I was determined to charm his pants off, quite literally, and not do the adult and reasonable thing, which he opted for.

My cheeks are flushed and burning just a second later, and I decide to wring my hands instead of using them to choke him. After all, he’s driving. Fast. But, I end up being suffocated by the silence that spreads in this small space, and I can’t keep myself from looking at him.

I was closer to him before. Now, however, I get the chance to study his face, his furrowed brow as he stares determinedly onward, ignoring me.

All he said was, “get in,” and “seat belt.” I didn’t realize it then, but his voice spoke volumes. Colin is troubled; and not only about the consequences of him fucking me twice without a condom.

There’s more. Colin’s worrying his jaw, like every time when his team was about to lose, the opponents had the upper hand, or something was happening not as planned. Or, when he felt regret.

Thinking that makes me feel a pang. I shouldn’t be surprised. That’s Colin. He fucked his best friend's sister without protection, and now he must clean up his mess. Stat. He’s probably worried that I might tell Theo what he did. I know they haven’t talked much the last few years, but my big brother still regards him as one of his best friends. For whatever reason.

I never really understood why the two of them were friends, to begin with. Theo was always the good one: Reasonable, responsible, considerate…

Theo and Colin were polar-opposites, but now, I’m not so sure anymore. What if my golden child brother just kept up a charade when it came to his family? What if, in truth, he and Colin were peas in a pod? Why am I wondering about this? Do I want to distract myself from what’s happening right now? I am, am I not?

“Why are you doing this?” I hear myself asking him, realizing that I really want to know.

Colin stays silent. For a long time.

“’Cause it’s the right thing to do,” the star of my naughty dreams finally responds.

It’s the last answer I’ve expected from him, and that might be the reason it’s so frustrating. That, and because I wanted to hear something else. But what?

“Do you take all your conquests on a one-hour drive pharmacy, or am I a special one?” I dig deeper and instantly regret my tone, but I can’t help myself.

At least, after that, Colin finally looks at me, and his expression stings more profoundly than I could ever expect. He’s taken aback. I’ve actually hurt cocky Colin Thompson.

That’s a first.

“So, I’m a special one,” I deduce and want to slap myself, or hit my head into the dashboard.

What has gotten into me?

Oh, right, Colin’s cock and far too much booze.

And guess what: I want more of one of these.

“You’ve always been.”

Well, that was unexpected, and I catch myself gaping at Colin in reaction, which must have been a figment of my vivid imagination. And he sure looks like he is quite surprised about his response, too. Suddenly, there are butterflies in my stomach, which are having their own private flight club.

“Because, I’ve been the forbidden fruit,” I muse, wondering where that’s coming from, too.

It’s almost as if I have someone sitting in my brain, controlling my tongue instead of me.

I expect Colin to say ‘yes,’ and nothing else. I am ready to hear him scoff and see him shake his head, but he doesn’t. Instead, he continues staring out of the windshield, clinging to the steering wheel, and clenching his jaw.

I don’t want to be the miffed one. I don’t want to be the whining victim. I don’t want to regret what has happened less than an hour ago.

“It was fucking amazing,” I listen to myself, telling him. “Both times. The second time was even better.” I don’t know why I point that out, but I do, and I can see how he blinks, and how his eyes start darting towards me.

“It was?” He responds as if he doesn’t believe me, which is actually kind of a cute response.

“Yeah,” I answer, nodding.

My words change something. I don’t know what, but I can still see it in Colin’s expression. He looks as if he wants to be happy about it, but doesn’t. I guess, after all, I am still his best friend’s little sister.

I feel like something is trying to carve out my heart while watching him.  I don’t know why, or how.

Colin, however, looks the part.

 

∞ Rabisu ∞

What. The. Holy. Hell?

She did like his treatment more than mine?

It is somewhat straining to keep my composure and not reveal to Colin that I am awake, and listening. I do not know whether I feel insulted, or enraged, or hurt? This is something new.

This is something different.

This is jealousy. Jealousy…

I have seen it often enough, I have tasted if often enough, to be able to identify it. But this is a first time that I feel it. I am old enough to admit it. But still surprised. This is exciting!

Joana Mallory is a mere mortal. A human. And I feel jealous about how my host makes her feel.

So, she liked his treatment better than mine.

Game on, Colin Thompson.

Game on.

I am always ready for combat, and battling for the attention and favor of a woman is the best price there is. All I must do is make sure that Joana enjoys her time with me more than she does with him, and I am the victor. Colin will crawl back into the cage I have created for him, and Joana will be mine.

The only difference is my opponent never shared a body with me before; it has never been my host, but some other human, and because of that, it could be more difficult. I am always up for a challenge, and this could be quite an interesting one, especially since I like to play dirty mostly. And this is going to get very dirty.

I will use all my advantages for as long as I have them. And, right now this includes Colin not knowing that I am awake and sweet Joana not being aware of my existence at all. For now, I will get comfortable and lazy, enjoying the feeling of being overly sated, as the last time I enjoyed this sensation has been so far back in the past that I cannot really recall it.

I want Colin to think that I am full of myself, as they say, it nowadays, that I have become arrogant and overly confident that I stop watching his every move. He must think that I do not know what he is building in his cellar, or rather: Re-building. I have had enough experience to not make the same mistake twice.

I will not. I have a much better idea.

And first, I must get to know Joana. All I know about this human female is from Colin’s memories and dreams, which are his personal perception, and not mine.

To make sure that my plan will come to fruition, I must make my own picture of her. This is going to get quite impressive.

 

∞ Colin ∞

I stay silent because there is nothing more to say. It doesn’t matter what words come from my mouth, all they will do is encourage her, make her believe that I care about her. And I realize that is precisely what I do. I always have. Jo is Theo’s little sister, which makes her my little sister of sorts. Theo is more a brother to me than my actual little brother. I know that this is a cruel thing to say, but I’ve been more a father to Jax than a brother. I always was responsible for him, and I still am. I make sure that he can follow his dreams. And, right now, I use the antiques Rabisu hid in the corpses of my comrades to finance his degree so that he can finally take care of himself; and I finally am rid of him and my familial duties. I love Jax, but I hate him almost as much.

But it’s not Jax who is sitting next to me in my old truck, clinging to her own hands and looking out of the front window, deeply ashamed.

This is my fault, and we both know it because Rab used my body to rape her. If Jo had a choice, maybe, she might have said ‘no,’ but she didn’t have time to say anything. And, Jo didn’t fight. Which only means one thing: She wanted it. Maybe not like this, but she did.

I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s nothing new to me. At school, I was the cocky sports superstar, and now, on top of that, I am a war veteran. Women dig that. But this is the very thing I learned, once I was on my first tour: women love the idea, not the person. They want to be the healer of the damaged hero, and to be his healer and savior.

When I look at Jo from the corners of my eyes, I do know that she doesn’t see that idea. She knows me good enough to know who I am, or rather, who I was; and Theo’s little sister is probably concerned about the changes I have been through. Jo’s always been the helping kind of person, although animals came first, and I am sure that they still do. But that’s what’s so sweet about her.

In a way, I’m an animal now, too. A rabid animal, infected with a parasite and feeling all the effects of its actions. I just hope that Jo won’t want to help me anymore after what happened today. She might ruin everything, not knowing what she is doing until it’s too late.

I have to make sure that she stays away.

“Make sure to remember then,” I tell Jo. “’Cause it ain’t going to happen a third time.”

My eyes are plastered to the road ahead, but I still can see her flinch from the corners of my eyes. I’m an ass. At least, that is something I am also very good at.

Jo doesn’t answer. She knows my old cocky self too well to be surprised. Maybe she hoped that war changed me like all women believe, and she is right about that, in a way.

“I will,” I suddenly hear her reply lowly; her voice is almost inaudible, and for a second I wonder if she really said anything, but I know she did.

I can’t determine whether she sounded sad or just resigned or hurt, and it bothers me more than I’d like to admit. Probably it’s all three.

I expected her to be angry at me, and to try and slap me, to tell me to pull over, so that she can walk back home, yet, Jo doesn’t. She just sits there, next to me, continuing to worry her hands, staring at them, as if there is something on them, which I can’t see.

I know exactly how that feels: To have something on your skin, which you can’t possibly wash off your skin. I can still remember vividly how Rabisu used my bare hands to rip the tears in my comrades’ bodies open further so that he could stash the antique coins and artifacts in them.

I can even see their blood on these items. I have lost count on how many times I've cleaned them.

That’s another reason why I can’t let her into my house because that stuff is everywhere. I’ve been too busy with re-building Rab’s cage that I haven’t really taken care of anything else.

The problem is I can’t sell everything at once since it would be suspicious to a lot of agencies, both public and private.

Also, my demon parasite doesn’t want me to hire someone to sell them as he believes only he can really determine the stuff’s worth. I humor Rab by allowing him to be the salesman. After all, I will need the money to continue paying taxes for all eternity, once we both are sealed away in the cage. I will hire a company to take care of the house, to keep it in shape and not draw suspicion.

I’m lost in thoughts again, planning for a future that might not happen, especially when Jo feels she has to help me.

I can feel her wondering glance on me.

She averts her eyes as I turn to look at her, but I can read her face with ease. Jo never mastered hiding her feelings. She worries about me. I just blew her off in a jock way, and she is concerned. This is why sweet girls end up being abused because they care about dicks.

Honestly, I don’t know what pisses me off more right now. Why caring women are stupidly falling for abusive assholes, or that Jo might end up with someone beating her. That’s something I don’t ever want to happen to her.

Anger issues. I have plenty of these, and ever since Rabisu got a hold of me, they have grown stronger. I guess that’s his work. Of course, he would stimulate the emotions that feed him.

I must think of something else. I’m trying, but I can’t. No matter what I do, I can’t get the picture out of my head of Jo being battered and bruised, wearing makeup to hide the black and blue on her face to no avail. If I ever saw the same in reality, I would kill whoever did it. I’ve seen it one time too many on my mom, and no one helped her.