SADIE
I FLOPPED BACK INTO A low, cushioned wicker armchair under a humming ceiling fan.
It was our last day in this paradise. Tomorrow we were heading to Barbados—the easternmost Caribbean island that everyone referred to as charming.
Charming.
I wanted to experience it.
Know it.
Feel it.
With him.
Jaxson.
From my comfy chair, I looked at the flat, translucent sea and the two volcanic structures that framed Gallery Bay, giving it a cocooning effect. I felt safe here away from the world.
It had been two weeks and I couldn’t believe how different I felt from when I first arrived.
Simon had yet to return my texts or calls, whether it was because he was pissed as hell at me or just didn’t want to, I hadn’t a clue.
I tried to call Moongate, but the phones hadn’t been turned on yet. I’d called the bar I’d met Simon in that fatal night and asked if he’d been back. The woman who answered had no idea who I was referring to, and when I asked to talk to the old man who worked behind the bar, she told me she wasn’t an answering service.
I would be back in the States in four weeks. And if Simon didn’t answer by then, I would find him and Riley, too. I would atone for my sins.
Step 8: Make a list of all persons we have harmed, and become willing to make amends to them all.
The vibrator started up again, and I took a deep breath. This remote control piece of technology came with a timer.
Jaxson had decided this afternoon would be a good time to put it to use since he was meeting with the editor of Sports Illustrated and I would be at the villa alone.
A few nights ago we’d tried the anal plaything, and both decided the butt plug and vaginal sex was definitely more satisfying. At least we’d lost our virginity together. The vibrator was a way for Jaxson to tease me when he wasn’t actually around.
And tease it did.
It brought me right to the brink of orgasm and then turned off. I had no idea what cycle he’d put it on, but my guess was it was some kind of random setting just to drive me mad.
I thought about taking it out at least a hundred times, but if I kept it in all day, he’d promised me tonight was mine. Meaning sex was whatever I wanted. What I said. And I liked that idea. A lot.
In the past fourteen days, I‘d had more sex than I’d had in my entire life. Tried more things than I ever thought I would, including playing with myself in front of Jaxson.
I didn’t hate it.
In fact, his reaction was worth every embarrassing moment.
The man was full of dormant fantasies. Not to mention he was a sex machine. A small part of me worried he was trying to fuck his ex-fiancée out of his system. A bigger part of me hoped it was because he just couldn’t get enough of me.
I stared down at the pad of paper in my lap. I’d stopped writing for a column that was no longer mine. Elise had taken it over, but I started something new. I’d taken to documenting my time on the islands. Normally, when I wrote I used Jaxson’s laptop if he wasn’t editing photos. Today he had it with him to review the pictures from Antigua with his editor.
I re-read my draft.
Tobogo—the Caribbean’s Most Undeveloped Island
It’s a particular type of tropical beauty.
Quiet.
Tranquil.
As if ready for you to unwind.
The views are as close to perfection as one can get. Untouched land. Jade and turquoise waters. Trunks of palms so tall you can’t even see the top. Even the tree frogs sing with excitement.
On a short and simple river walk, we pass through an area of explosive greenery that looks picture perfect. Following the flow of a stream through a magical trail, we eventually hear the hiss and rush of a waterfall and pool. This view is spellbinding.
Setting my pen and paper on the table beside me, I closed my eyes, picturing every second of our trek through the wild.
This was nothing I had expected and nothing I had deserved, but I was here and so was Jaxson.
Just then my phone buzzed. I picked up thinking it was Jaxson with something dirty to say. It wasn’t.
Simon: Where are you?
I hesitated over the keypad. I couldn’t tell him where I was. It was wrong.
Me: How’s Riley?
There was no response. He was upset with me and punishing me. I tried something else.
Me: Did you sell all of my things?
Simon: Yes.
Me: Did you get enough so he could have his surgery?
Again, there was no response.
Me: Are you not going to talk to me about Riley?
Simon: Stop running and come back here and I will.
Stop running. I wasn’t sure I ever would. Ever could.
I sighed. Pissed-off Simon wasn’t going to tell me anything. I’d have to find out for myself. I closed my eyes and wished things were different. Wished I could just know. Wished for a lot. Still, nothing changed.
The door opened just as my vibrator turned on. Perfect timing or planned? Either way, this thing was coming out. I couldn’t take it anymore. Sex toys could be checked off my bucket list. Not that I had one, but I had started to make one.
Jaxson had one, and I envied the things he wanted to do with his life. This trip being one of them.
“Sadie,” Jaxson called.
“I’m out on the veranda,” I called, taking a sip of my cool water.
He came into the doorway wearing a pressed white shirt, unbuttoned at the top, paired with dark slacks and a pair of expensive shoes. Under his shirt, I could see the impressive muscle tone of his arms and chest.
He looked like sin.
He looked like a million dollars.
He looked edible.
Jaxson Cassidy made my toes curl. He was the kind of perfection that belonged in photos. He just preferred to be the one taking them.
He leaned against the doorframe and lowered his sunglasses. In one hand he gripped a large shopping bag.
“What’s that?” I asked.
He lowered his sunglasses. The almost navy eyes beneath were languid—lazy, slow, deep, and mesmerizing. “No hi honey, I missed you? How’d it go with your editor? Just what’s in the bag?”
I gave him a sly grin and rose to my bare feet. “Hi, honey, I missed you. How’d it go with your editor?”
Those full soft lips quirked to one side. “It went well. Not great, but well. She wants more cutting edge, and gave me some ideas for Barbados.”
I walked toward him. “Oh yeah, like what kind of ideas?”
“More skin. More water. Less background. She wants Haley on the cover, topless.”
Haley was the cutest, youngest blonde who’d flown in yesterday. Jaxson hadn’t shot her yet, but he did spend a good three hours with her practicing different poses and seeing how pliable her body was. After I saw how well they worked together, I knew she’d make a great cover, and I was excited for him.
Right in front of him now, I rubbed against him. “They sound like things you can easily accomplish.”
He looked down at me, his mouth still quirked. “They are. Although she loved the scenic photos, she said they weren’t right for the swimsuit issue.”
“I love those,” I told him, running my hands up the smooth fabric of his shirt. “But I get where she’s coming from. I think the focus is supposed to be on the swimsuits.”
“Yeah, right. I think I get carried away sometimes.”
“You’ll remedy that. I’m certain. And I’ll help you. Now, what’s in the bag?”
His mouth stretched into a slow grin. “I got a call from an investigator who works for my insurance company. He found my stolen camera at a pawn shop in Miami.”
“Miami?” That made no sense.
“Yeah, the investigator said some guy named Sidney McRay pawned it. Do you know who he is?”
Heat rose to the tips of my ears in embarrassment for what I’d done. I couldn’t help shrinking into myself. “No, Simon must have sold the camera locally to this guy or someone else to get the money for Riley. And either this guy pawned it in Miami or the person Simon sold it to, sold it to this Sidney.”
Jaxson’s lip curled.
Just then the sound of waves crashing against the rocks sounded very loud. Like even the devil was upset with me and shaking the earth from below. “I’m so sorry.”
He put a finger to my lips. “Stop. This is good news. They need to hold onto it for at least couple of weeks, but I’ll get it back.”
There was no reason for me to be sad about that fact, yet I felt my smile fade. “That’s great news.”
Jaxson lifted my chin. “Why do I feel like you really don’t think that?”
I tried to hide my confused reluctance, but I couldn’t. “Now you can afford to hire a real assistant since you can return your new camera.”
He leaned down and kissed my lips so softly. “You are a real assistant. I’m not firing you, and I’m not letting you quit. Besides, I can’t return it. It’s not that easy. I’ve used it.”
I felt the oddest quake in my heart. I ignored it and pointed to the bag. “So that’s not my severance?”
His grin got even broader. “No, not even close.” He smirked and handed me the bag. “Think of it as a bonus. I bought you some things.”
I rolled my eyes. “Please, Jaxson, no more sex toys.” Thank God the vibrator had stopped buzzing.
He laughed until tears filled his eyes.
“It’s not funny. This vibrator needs to come out.”
When he could speak, he did something so like him. He reached beneath the hem of my dress and simply pulled the toy from my pussy and walked inside, tossed it in the trashcan near the bar and then returned. “Better?”
I nodded, thankful to be rid of it.
After washing his hands, he grabbed my fingers and pulled me to the outdoor sofa where we both sat. “Now are you ready for your presents?”
“Presents?”
He nodded.
“You’re grinning like a fool, Jaxson.”
“Open them already.”
I pulled two large boxes from the bag. One was white and the other black. I took the white one first. I started to ease off the pretty paper, not wanting to tear it, but Jaxson shook his head with a sigh and forced my fingers to rip it off. In moments it lay on the floor in a shredded heap.
I glanced over at him.
He gave me a nod.
Slowly, I lifted the lid to find a box full of white cotton panties, cotton bras, a pair of low white heels, and the most beautiful white cotton dress I’d ever seen.
My mouth dropped. “Jaxson,” I exclaimed. “How, why?”
“Don’t worry about it. Now, open the other box.”
With shaking fingers, I took the black box, and this time I ripped the paper off. Inside sat black silk panties, black satin bras, a pair of high black heels, and a stunning black silk dress.
No one had ever given me anything even remotely close. Things I loved and not only did he know this but he took the time to acquire them.
“Hey . . . don’t cry.” He wiped a tear from my cheek but couldn’t wipe any more away because I was squeezing him way too tightly.
“You shouldn’t have spent money on me you don’t even have.”
“I do have money. I got a second advance today, and I wanted to.”
“I love you,” I said.
We both froze, cheek to cheek, with the boxes between us. I hadn’t meant to say anything like that, and it was obvious he wasn’t expecting me to either by the look on his face.
“For doing this,” I added, attempting to brush the comment away. “Thank you.”
Thank God, he let me. “You’re welcome,” he said with a slow and easy smile that almost erased the misstep. “So when do I get my fashion show?”
I cupped his face. “How about now?”
“Now works.”
With the vibrator driving me to the brink over and over all afternoon, it more than worked for me.
I stripped down right in front of him, and he lifted his camera while I did. I was used to this by now, and I couldn’t believe it didn’t bother me. That dazzling smile he gave me whenever he lowered his lens made me feel sexy. Wanted. Desired. All things I didn’t recall feeling until Jaxson, or at least to the degree I did with him.
Jaxson laughed at my white cotton panties, but I didn’t care. I felt comfortable in them. I felt good in them. “I have to admit,” he said, his indigo stare on me, “they look pretty hot.”
Seriously, that might have been taking it a bit far, but I’d take the compliment.
When I changed out of the white ones and into the black ones, Jaxson licked his lips.
Everything fit like a dream.
That saleswoman at the boutique really did know her stuff.
I was pulling the gorgeous tea-length black silk dress from my body when he said, “Don’t move.”
I looked toward him.
His eye was to the lens. The whirl and snap of the shutter was the only noise in the open space except our heavy breathing. Taking picture after picture, he moved around me. Posing me. Adjusting me. And touching me over and over. “I think I found my inspiration in you, Sadie Banks. You’re my muse.”
Awed by his words, I said nothing.
He set the camera down and his mouth found my bare shoulder. “I have to admit,” he said, his voice gruff, “you look good in underwear.”
I burst into laughter. It was loud. Unfettered. And I stifled it with my hand when he moved along my skin with a sureness of familiarity.
“I’m serious.” His fingertips traced my spine.
“I know you are.” My words were hoarse.
He took my hands, and I threw my arms around him, wanting to feel his warmth, his goodness, him.
Lowering his head, he took my lips in a drugging kiss. His tongue was warm, and every time he put it inside my mouth, I felt tingles all over my skin.
His hands went to my ass and he lifted me. Automatically, I wrapped my legs around him, and once I did, he carried me into the bedroom.
Inside, he set me down on the dresser and stood between my legs, his mouth back on mine, and taking my breath away.
He didn’t take my new bra off; he just yanked down the cup and took my nipple in his mouth.
I gasped and allowed my head to lull back. “Jaxson . . .”
He sucked harder, twirling his tongue against my nipple, making me wetter and wetter by the second.
“You taste delicious,” he groaned as he pulled down the other cup and took that nipple in his mouth. After he’d given both nipples equal attention, he pulled back and yanked his T-shirt off, revealing miles of hard, strong, male chest and muscles.
I didn’t think I could get enough of his naked torso.
He took me in, sitting in just my new bra and panties, and his pupils filled with lust as he eye fucked me.
I looked back at him, lust filling my gaze as well. “Take me to bed,” I begged.
He did, and without protesting my request.
When he picked me up and laid me down on the bed, he followed close behind. He settled on top of me, kissing me senseless, his hands traveling down my body and gripping my ass.
I raked my nails down his back and moaned, rocking my hips against his hardness.
“Please . . .” I begged.
He chuckled against my neck, and then lifted his head to look me in the eye when he placed his hand over my panties. “Tonight is your night. Remember?”
“How could I forget?”
He pressed a little harder and I tingled with a fuzzy warmth.
“So,” he drawled.
I licked my lips and blinked. “So, what?”
His fingers teased inside my panties and I knew I was so wet. “What do you want? It’s your call.”
“Screw it,” I said. “I’m giving my turn to you.”
That earned me a heartier chuckle than ever before. “What do you want, my sexy thief?” He kissed my neck and rubbed his fingers against my swollen and ready pussy.
I could feel my pulse everywhere. I pulled his head in the direction of my face so that he’d kiss me. “I want you.”
A groan of pure male hunger rumbled in his chest, and he crashed his lips to mine. “And I want you.”
The way he groaned it around our hot kiss made me think he meant more than just in this moment. That he meant forever.
Too bad there would never be a forever for us.