I am so beyond fucked. Like beyond that level of fucked-upness. This guy is already driving me crazy and, to be honest, I don’t even remember the drive home. My mind is overwhelmed by him and that kiss.

Oh boy, that kiss. That kiss is something I will never, ever get over, because it set my world on fire.

I set my phone on the nightstand and plug it in to charge. I really like Lane, and it’s a different like from any other guy because I can see myself with this person.

My whole life I have never had someone to be protective of me or stand up for me. My dad wasn’t a huge part of my life—he just didn’t care, and my mom didn’t either. They just weren’t invested. I practically raised myself.

I have wanted someone who I can feel protected by, feel safe around, and give my entire soul to. I have craved that my whole life. I have dated and dated, but nothing has come out of it, because I will not waste my time on someone who I know it won’t last with.

I want someone to be affectionate—that has been lacking my whole life. I want someone to touch me, love me. I just want someone to give myself to and love with my whole being.

Most of all I want a family. I just want to be wanted and needed. I want to be a soccer mom who runs her kids to games every evening and spends my days baking cookies and rocking a sweet angel to sleep. I want to fall asleep tired but unconditionally happy.

I have craved affection my whole life, and when I was younger, I looked for it in the wrong places and was devastated when those people didn’t want me. Those people made me think I was everything to them, and come to find out I was just someone to pass the time.

For a very long time, I was depressed and filled with major anxiety. I was so withdrawn into myself I didn’t even want to leave the house except to go to college.

Then, little by little, I came out of my shell. I would find things that I loved about myself every single day—then, a year or so later, I became a boss-ass bitch who can kick some major ass.

I am a woman who is happy being alone and can make herself happy and doesn’t need a man to do that. A relationship is to make your life better, but not be your life.

Do not get me wrong. I want that someone, but I am a woman who knows her worth and won’t settle for less than her best or being anything besides extremely happy. If haven’t found what I deserve, I am more than fine being alone.

Enough with the heavy, Amelia. I always think deep shit at night for some reason. I reach over and turn off the nightstand light and snuggle into bed.

* * *

My best friend throws open my office door, “Yo, bitch! I’ve seen you riding around town on the back of that bike!”

I grin ear to ear as she charges into the room. She stops in front of my desk, her hands on her hips, with a shit-eating grin on her face.

I throw my hands up in the air as a show of defeat. “I gave in. The tattoos got me.”

She laughs and pulls out a chair to sit in front of me. “I don’t know how you lasted this long. That is one fine man.” She fans herself and pulls out some burgers.

Do I have the greatest friend in the whole wide world?

I reach forward and wiggle my fingers. “Give me.”

She places two burgers in my hand and slides a bottle of water across the desk. I pull back the wrapper and take a huge bite.

“Dear goodness, I have craved a burger for days.” I groan and take another bite.

“When are you seeing him again?” Danielle asks.

“Friday.” I smile shyly.

She grins at me happily. “We need to go out tonight for some drinks to celebrate.”

I furrow my brow at her. “Why are you so happy?”

She continues to smile happily. “Because it takes a special person to put that smile on your face.”

That’s when I realize that I have been smiling the whole time. “Sounds good to me, what time do you want to meet?”

She taps her chin, looking up at the ceiling, “Eight o’clock okay with you?”

I throw my wrapper into the garbage. “Fine with me.” I wink and her grin widens.

My phone vibrates, and I see I have a text from Lane. We have been texting all day long.

Lane: What are you doing tonight?

Me: Danielle and I are going out to a bar tonight.

Lane: What bar?

Me: Charley’s

Lane: I will see you tonight.

My mouth pops open and I look up at Danielle. Her eyes widen at my expression.

“Lane says he will see me tonight.”

She claps her hands in excitement. “Great! I can’t wait to meet him tonight.”

What did I just get myself into?