Chapter Three
Four Years Later
Hartford was just about to take the second bite out of her sandwich when she was paged. Knowing this would be the last chance to get food in her system for the next two hours, she quickly took two big bites before checking her pager. She dropped the sandwich into the disposable box it came in, snatched it up, and stalked quickly back out.
Her strides swift, she made her way to the emergency room. Her stomach rumbled for more food, but she wasn’t paying it any heed. She was used to skipping meals. She was used to putting her patients first. That had been her life for the past four years. It had only gotten way more hectic since she began her residency two months ago, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. She was ecstatic for all she had accomplished. Her patients counted on her for more than their life. They counted on her for their livelihood, for their passion, for the ability to do what they loved.
She spotted the patient she was paged for. It was easy to spot the sports jersey in the ER. There was only one, but her throat went dry at the sight of it. A Nittany Lions uniform. Her steps slowed for only for a moment, and she shoved the memory away. She did not have time for it.
The football player was writhing in pain, and Hartford went to work, snapping instructions, asking questions, and all the time she refused to let the familiar Nittany Lions shirt remind her of the man she’d thought was the love of her life.
An hour later, she found her crumpled-up sandwich box on the counter. She flipped it open, but her appetite was dead. The football player hadn’t even been injured on the field; he’d merely twisted his foot very badly while getting off a bus near Baltimore.
Just my luck. She forced herself to take a bite out of the sandwich anyway. She needed food; she couldn’t survive without it, and she was stuffed by the time she had finished every bite. Throwing the box in the bin, she walked slowly back up to the wards, where Carmen and Nathan, her two—if only—good friends at the hospital, called her over.
They were nurses, and the three of them went out together whenever they got the chance. She still spent most of her free time at home, because of course her priorities were different now, but Hartford like to see Carmen flirting with Nathan. She’d had a crush on him for ages, but Nathan wasn’t reciprocating. Maybe he simply liked being friends and didn’t want to complicate the friendship with lovey-dovey relationship stuff. Hartford was living proof that that didn’t work out in the end.
Should’ve watched less movies growing up. She chastised herself. Fairy tales did not happen in real life. In real life, it was more straightforward, and harder, and it sucked the breath out of you when you tried to keep up.
The Nittany Lions shirt flashed before her eyes again, and she wondered if she was hallucinating. The player was being taken along the corridor on a wheelchair. Someone get him out of my sight. But she drew in a deep breath and was proud of herself for not yelling that out loud. She was stronger now. She was over it; the Nittany Lions were in her past.
It was embarrassing that she had to still try and make herself believe that. The irony was that she had chosen sports medicine as her area of interest, and due to that, she now spent a major portion of her time attending to professional football players.
She tried not to view it as a coping mechanism. An unhealthy one. She really, really wanted to be a sports physical therapist. But of course, she couldn’t deny that the urge to be close to sports had a lot to do with one particular sportsman she had loved and lost.
She intentionally put herself in a situation where she was reminded of the man—an unforgettable Seahawks player that had broken her heart—on the other side of the country. It was tormenting, and the pain felt good. It made her feel real, and it made her feel like he was still a part of her life in some irrational way.
She shook her head to clear it. The Nittany Lions shirt had reminded her about more than she would have liked to be reminded of. “Stop it,” she hissed to herself loudly without realizing it.
Carmen stopped talking, and Nathan swiftly turned to her. “What?”
Hartford blew a fuse. “Why is that guy constantly right there in front of my eyes?”
“Who?” Both of them leaned forward on the nurses’ station, and Hartford shook her head, embarrassed.
“Nothing. I’m going to go call Trent.”
She fished her phone out of her pocket as she walked away from her friends and waited. A friendly, feminine voice answered.
“Hello, Christine.” Hartford clutched her phone tighter. She was so grateful to the woman; she would forever be indebted to her. “How’s Trent?”
“He’s great. Mark and I were just talking about you. You know what Trent did today?”
Hartford was already grinning ear to ear. “What?”
“We borrowed his friend Madeline’s Hula-Hoop and Trent is already a pro hula-hooper.”
Hartford chuckled as she envisioned her little blond-haired, blue-eyed, three-year-old son, and her heart twisted in agony to hold him. “God, I miss him. Please tell him I’ll be there soon.”
“It’s fine, dear. Don’t worry about Trent.”
Hartford bit the inside of her cheek. “I’m so… Thank you, Christine. I’m so grateful for all that you do for Trent and me.”
“Don’t worry about it. We wouldn’t have it any other way. We really appreciate you letting us be a part of Gerard’s son’s life. Even if Gerard is—”
Hartford jerked to somehow make that discussion stop. “We don’t have to discuss that. I’m simply glad Trent has you both in his life. I’d hate to have him in daycare with people who don’t love him.”
She hung up soon after and stood for long seconds at the same post, a smile on her face as she tried to picture Trent playing with the hoop. Gerard. Her face fell. Of course, leaving her son with his paternal grandparents—Gerard’s parents, Christine and Mark—came with its own set of challenges. Gerard’s name came up often, and she wanted to be okay with it, but the burst of disappointment in her chest refused to subside. Even though it had been almost four years since she’d last seen Gerard.
He had been in her life way too much, and then he had been nothing. Yet a part of him lived in her and with her to this day.
Trent was so much like Gerard that it was frustrating at times. She was only human, and to be reminded of all the man’s quirks by her own son made her feel a little cheated. She had loved Gerard. She’d hoped to put Gerard in the past and move on with her life. But fate hadn’t been so kind.
Her son had come into the world looking exactly like his father. It was almost as if her genes had decided to take an extended vacation during the conception. Trent looked nothing like her, and even his complexion barely hinted that his mother was African American. As a result, she walked around with a blond, blue-eyed, miniature version of Gerard every day. Not only that, he’d already shown an uncanny ability to make sarcastic jokes like his father did.
A year ago, Hartford was struggling to find a childcare solution for Trent. No daycare facility seemed trustworthy enough, and her own parents traveled too often to be counted on for regular care for Trent. Just when she was about to crumble under the pressure of her plight, she’d visited Pennsylvania, where both she and Gerard had grown up. That’s when she ran into Christine and Mark.
They hadn’t seen her in years, and both of them stopped short when they saw the two-year-old kid she was carrying, who looked exactly like their own son.
It had been an emotional day. Both Christine and Mark had cried, argued over who got to hold Trent next, and dragged Hartford to their home. Then, they’d begged her to let them be a part of the child’s life.
Hartford, surprisingly, had been rushed with relief. Trent would get to know his grandparents, and she could go on with her studies stress-free because Christine and Mark would lay their life on the floor to care for Trent. The only problem was, they were in Pennsylvania, while she was in Maryland. She needn’t have spent the energy worrying about it. Because Trent’s paternal grandparents hadn’t been kidding when they agreed to take over the care of Trent. The both of them had come up with a solution instantly: they’d move to Maryland and care for Trent on a regular basis, and if they traveled, they’d be happy to take him along.
Hartford was still dumbstruck by the love they had for Trent. They’d uprooted their life just so they could spend time with him, whereas her own parents didn’t bother at all. But that was also because they had wanted—like Gerard—for her to terminate the pregnancy and not have the child she so desperately wanted to keep.
“Hey, what are you thinking about?”
She turned around to see Nathan right behind her. She smiled and shook her head. “Sometimes I feel like I’m being stretched at two ends and I need to pick one side before I break into two.”
“As in?”
Hartford smiled at the tall, handsome African American man with dark brown eyes that were always warm and smiling. He was a great friend, and he was one of the few people who could make her laugh.
“As in, I’ve always wanted to be a doctor, but I never thought I’d have a child to care for while I worked for my goals. And now I’m missing all the milestones in his life, and I’m unsure about what is more important. Clearly, it should be Trent.” Her voice dropped to a whisper.
He swallowed. “What did you miss this time?”
Her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears. “Just…” She choked up and smiled, but her voice came out all shaky and pathetic. “Some stupid Hula-Hoop thing he did. Last week it was a baseball match, and the week before last it was something else. I feel like the only way I can manage to be there with him is if I could create time out of somewhere to spend with him. There is never enough time. And I need to find a fix before I miss out on his whole childhood and he doesn’t even remember me anymore.”
Nathan shook his head and reached out to wrap his arm around her slim shoulders. “That’s not going to happen. He loves you, and he misses you.”
She choked back a sob and pushed her face into the wide, muscled chest that was always around.
“It’s going to be fine. What matters in the end is that he’ll be proud of you when he grows up. You spend every free moment with him. It’s not like he can forget you. The boy dotes on you. You’re his hero.”
“I do.” She mumbled, the warmth of him seeping through her. When was the last time she’d been hugged? A year ago? Two years? Maybe it had been Gerard. She reared back slowly and looked at the ground sheepishly. “Thanks, Nathan.” She did feel a lot better.
“Anytime.” He grinned.
***
Three days later, the unthinkable happened. She was offered the chance to work privately with a patient, a football player. She was to live in his home to help him recover from a knee injury. She shot out of her chair and half ran to her superior’s office.
“I’m in for this.”
“Wow,” she said with a chuckle. “Aren’t you eager.”
“I’m not going to lie. I’m very eager, but I need you to get the patient’s consent on me bringing my child with me.”
Her face fell. “I don’t think… I’m sorry, Dr. Roberts. I don’t think that will be an option.”
“Please, just ask.” She was desperate.
“Well…” Dr. Baskers rubbed her forehead. “This is a little tricky. The team’s management has asked for the best. But I’m not sure a bachelor would appreciate having a toddler around his house twenty-four seven while he’s trying to recover from an injury that is a potential threat to his career.”
“Just ask, Dr. Baskers. If he agrees, I can go. Otherwise, spending an entire summer in another state without my son wouldn’t be an option for me, and I’d hate to miss out on the opportunity.”
“Okay,” she said after a pause. “But you should know it’s highly unlikely that he will say yes.”
Her heart pounding, Hartford left the office. This was perfect. She already felt so damn guilty for not being able to spend time with Trent. Having an entire summer in the house with Trent while she worked was exactly the thing she needed. She’d finally get the chance to bond with her son. She was missing out on so many bedtimes and bathtimes and playtimes. She muttered a silent prayer that the player wouldn’t object.
One single high-profile client, living in his home… She could feel the excitement running through her veins. She would play with Trent. She’d get to put him to bed and read him stories and have him in sight all day.
The very next day, she was called in to sign the paperwork. She scanned the document, ready to accept any terms.
Number of days: specified.
Duties: specified.
Living arrrangements…
She froze. Seattle. She would be in Seattle. She and Trent wood be in Seattle! Her insides screamed. Was she willing to do that? Was she strong enough to cope with the fact that Gerard would be so close by? And then another detail screamed at her from the document. Her heart sank to the floor.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“What?” Dr. Baskers asked, her brows furrowing. “Something wrong? I’ve reviewed this contract myself and everything looks fine. And he agreed to let you bring your son along.”
Hartford looked up at the doctor’s face, her heart pounding erratically. “Gerard Blackstone?”
“Yes?”
Hartford’s hands were shaking, the pen visibly jolting in her fingers as her hand hovered over the space that required her signature. Then she stared at the name that seemed to jump off the page to torment her. Gerard Blackstone. He knew she was coming, and he’d agreed to let her bring Trent along.
Clenching her eyes shut, she knew what she had to do. She had to be a grown-up and suck it up, because this was for Trent. She signed her name.
She was going to Seattle, to live with Gerard, and even though Trent didn’t know it, he was going to meet the man who was his father.