Free Read Novels Online Home

SINGLE DADDY DOM: Bone Breakers MC by Sophia Gray (10)


Antonia

 

Later that day, Antonia dropped by her ex’s house to pick Daniel up. She had to take Bobby with her even though she knew that Paul was going to have questions she didn’t want to answer. “Come here, big boy, let Antonia hold you,” she said as she scooped Bobby up into her arms, carrying him all the way up to Paul’s front door.

 

“You’re late,” Paul said by way of greeting as he opened the door. He looked like shit, like even spending fifteen hours with his kid was too much for him. Antonia didn’t really have any sympathy for him, especially after all he’d put her through when they were married.

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, just get him out here,” Antonia said, hitching Bobby up higher in her arms.

 

“Who’s this?” Paul said, pointing at Bobby and narrowing his eyes at Antonia suspiciously. Antonia was tempted to scoff, annoyed at the implication behind Paul’s question. What, does he think I had another fucking kid while he wasn’t paying attention? Antonia thought to herself, biting down on her own bottom lip just to keep herself from laughing at Paul. He was such a fucking idiot. What had she ever seen in him in the first place?

 

“My new job,” Antonia replied. “Will you bring me my son, please?”

 

“You can come in for a minute, you know,” Paul said, opening the door wider to let Antonia inside.

 

Antonia just shook her head, staring blankly at Paul until he sighed and backed away into his house to get Daniel. “It’ll be just another minute, Bobby, and then we can go back home and bake brownies,” she said.

 

“Okay,” Bobby said, beaming up at her. Sometimes, when Bobby was particularly sweet, Antonia doubted that Cal was really his father. He looked like him, at least from certain angles, but in terms of personality they were so different. Bobby was so sweet and generous, always making sure that Daniel had as much food as him and got to play with Bobby’s toys as much as he wanted. By contrast, Cal was a cold hard shell of a person. He was like this robot, his metal skin impenetrable. Looking down at Bobby’s sweet, happy little face, she knew for sure that it had been insanely stupid of her to ever think that Cal would be interested in her in any romantic way. If Bobby—lovely, perfect, kind Bobby, who had a heart way too big for his tiny body—couldn’t get past Cal’s many shields, there was no way anyone was getting in there.

 

“Mommy!” Daniel called out, dashing through the living room and crashing into Antonia’s legs, hugging her as tightly as he could.

 

“Well, hello to you, too!” Antonia said, smiling down at her son. It was a relief to know that no matter what, her son could still bring her joy just by hugging her and showing her that she was loved. She was appreciated. It didn’t matter if everything else in her life was shit, as long as she had Daniel. “Come on, baby, let’s go home,” she said, leaning down to pet the top of Daniel’s head, smoothing over his messy hair.

 

“Aren’t you going to say thank you?” Paul said from somewhere inside his house.

 

Antonia rolled her eyes. She knew that it was probably useless to engage in any conversation with him at all, but she decided to take the bait, probably because she was already on edge from all the stuff with Cal. “What are you talking about?”

 

“For watching him,” Paul said, stepping out into the living room again where Antonia could see him.

 

Antonia scoffed, scowling at her ex-husband. “You don’t get a cookie for watching your own son, Paul. It doesn’t work that way.”

 

Paul shrugged. “I don’t know, Antonia. I mean, I’m sure you had a lot of fun yesterday. Go on any dates?”

 

Antonia flushed, her whole body going hot as she thought of what had happened the night before. Could Paul smell it on her or something? Still, she tried to keep her face calm, unwilling to let Paul know that he’d actually shaken her up at all. “No, I was busy with work. You know, I had to find a new job since you ruined the last one for me.”

 

“That wasn’t me,” Paul said, but Antonia just rolled her eyes again, not believing him for a second. “But anyway, I just want you to know that you need to tell me before you start dating anyone, okay?”

 

“What? Why?” Antonia asked.

 

“So I can run a background check on the guy,” Paul said. “There are a lot of crazies out there, you know, lot of creeps. I don’t want anybody with a record hanging around my son.”

 

“And why the hell do you think I’d let a dangerous man around Daniel?” Antonia said, silently reproaching herself for cursing around the children. She’d been getting better at not doing that, but Paul just got on her last nerve. She didn’t understand how she’d stayed married to him for so long. He was a piece of garbage, really, not a man.

 

“I’m not saying you would do it on purpose,” Paul said. “But you don’t think things through sometimes. Like the thing with your landlord, right? You picked a shitty place to live, and then you get surprised when the landlord turns out to be a scumbag. That’s no way to raise Daniel, Antonia.”

 

That was it. Antonia couldn’t force herself to be nice to this asshole, even in front of the children. “Don’t you ever talk to me about how to raise my son,” Antonia said between clenched teeth, reaching forward to pull Daniel closer to her side.

 

“He’s our son,” Paul corrected her. “Not just yours.”

 

Antonia huffed out a bitter laugh. “Right. That’s why you’re the one working your ass off to take care of him and make sure that he’s well fed and has a stable home. Oh, wait…” She hardened her gaze, glaring at her ex-husband with as much disdain as she could muster.

 

“Whatever,” Paul said, shrugging in defeat. “Just make sure whatever creep you’re fucking now doesn’t put his hands on our kid. Okay? See you later.” Paul slammed the door in Antonia’s face, and Daniel gripped harder onto his mother’s legs, whining a little under his breath. Antonia inwardly reproached herself, not for the reasons Paul had given, but because she’d lost her temper in front of her son. I shouldn’t have done that, she thought as she guided the two boys back to her car. Daniel needs to know that it’s okay for him to love his father without feeling like he’s betraying me. I shouldn’t let him see our conflicts.

 

Antonia kept beating herself up on the drive back over to Cal’s house, but she forced a smile on her face as soon as they got home, letting the two boys dash around the house wildly as she prepared the ingredients for the brownies. She kept her mind focused on baking, trying not to let her thoughts drift off into dangerous territory, but every so often she flashed back to what had happened in the kitchen the night before. God, I’ve never been fucked so well in my entire life, she thought as she poured the thick batter out into a pan. How the hell am I going to act normal around him tonight?

 

Antonia pushed the question out of her mind. She didn’t have an answer for it, so there was no use torturing herself by obsessing about it. She’d just have to handle the situation as maturely as she could manage, but in all honesty, it was more likely that Cal would continue to ignore her for as long as she worked at his house. Good, she thought to herself as she waited for the brownies to finish baking. I don’t want him to want me. It makes things simpler.

 

“Wait, hold up!” Bobby called out as he raced past the kitchen into the living room, apparently calling after Daniel.

 

“You can’t catch me!” Daniel said back in between fits of giggles. Antonia had to smile then, despite the darkness of her thoughts. Her child’s happiness was just too contagious to resist.

 

After pulling the brownies out of the oven to cool off, she followed the boys into the living room, where they were chasing each other around in circles. They were moving so fast that at first Antonia couldn’t make out their faces. They were just two blurs of color darting around the room, but eventually Daniel had to pause to pant for breath, and she noticed that his whole face was covered in dirt.

 

“Daniel!” Antonia protested, marching across the room to hold her son’s face between her hands to inspect it. “What have you gotten into?”

 

“Um…” Daniel said, his face falling, aware that he was in trouble now. “Um, I don’t know, Mommy…”

 

“Oh, I think you do,” Antonia replied, giving her child a stern look. “Was it the flower pots in the den? Did you knock them over?”

 

“I—maybe…” Daniel said, his cheeks flushing as he averted his eyes from his mother, looking over her shoulder and biting his lip in anxiety.

 

Antonia sighed and shook her head. Boys will be boys, I guess, she thought to herself. She scooped Daniel up into her arms and walked towards the staircase on the opposite side of the room, heading for the bathroom in the middle of the second-floor hallway.

 

Bobby followed them upstairs, but he stayed outside of the bathroom, chattering at Daniel through the door while Antonia peeled off her son’s clothes and began to run a bath for him. “Daniel, it’s okay, Cal doesn’t even like the flowers, he told me so,” Bobby said through the wall.

 

“Okay,” Daniel said in a small voice, apparently still feeling ashamed over his actions. “Mommy, will Mr. Amos be mad at me?”

 

“No, honey,” Antonia promised him, even though she knew he would probably be a little bit annoyed at the destruction of his flower pot. “I don’t think he cares that much about us.”

 

“He’s funny,” Daniel said as he stepped into the bath, splashing the water up on his face to get the dirt off. “I like him.”

 

Antonia didn’t say anything. She felt a slight ache in the center of her chest, watching Daniel smile as he started talking about how much fun he had with Bobby earlier that day, but she got distracted when she saw something on Daniel’s arm—a wide bruise on his skinny bicep, mostly purple with yellow around the edges. Antonia reached out and gently grabbed Daniel’s arm, cutting him off mid-sentence. “Honey, what happened here?”

 

Daniel turned to look at what Antonia was pointing at. “Oh. I don’t know. I guess I bumped into something.”

 

Antonia frowned and rubbed the bruised skin a little, hoping to soothe any leftover pain her son might have felt. “Did you tell Daddy about it?”

 

Daniel shook his head, splashing more water on his face. “No, I’m fine. I’m a big boy now, Mommy.”

 

Antonia smiled a little, just for her son’s benefit, and leaned over to kiss the top of his head. “You’re right. You’re my big man now.” Daniel was the only man she needed in her life, after all. She just needed to remind herself of that whenever she thought of Cal and what had happened between them. Anyone other than Daniel was a distraction.

 

Bobby knocked lightly on the door. “Am I your big man?” he asked in a soft voice, barely audible through the layer of wood separating them.

 

Antonia felt something break apart in her heart, her jaw dropping open as Bobby’s question sunk into her mind. She stuttered for a second, unsure of what to say. She wasn’t this kid’s mother, but…how could she say no? He’d been abandoned by one parent and was steadily ignored by the other. She’d promised to be there for him already and she couldn’t take that back, even if Cal thought that was a stupid idea.

 

So she said the only thing she could think of, and when her answer left her mouth she realized that she believed it. “You are, too, Bobby. You’re a very good boy.”

 

Bobby laughed lightly and sighed, like she’d just given him the answer he’d been waiting for his whole life. Antonia felt happier then, too, her chest feeling lighter and freer after she’d said the words. She had two people in her life now, she realized, both of whom seemed to love her. What else could she ask for?

 

***

 

Cal came home early that night, around eight, hours before he usually stumbled into the house at night. Antonia, who was in the middle of putting the boys to bed, felt incredibly unprepared, her whole body flushing as she heard Cal shut the front door behind him and walk further into the house. It’s fine, she told herself as she patted Bobby’s head and left him alone to go to sleep. Cal’s not going to say anything about what happened. You won’t ever have to deal with it. It was just a fluke, and you’re never going to have to think about it again.

 

Still, she felt a little sick to her stomach as she went into Daniel’s room to make sure he got into bed on time. “All right, say goodnight to your mama.” She leaned over to kiss his forehead while he struggled with his sheets and blankets.

 

“Goodnight, Mommy,” Daniel said, sighing deeply as he stretched his arms upward and outward, his pajama shirt rising to reveal a splotch of dark grey bruises on the bottom of his stomach.

 

“Daniel,” Antonia said firmly, grabbing his shirt to inspect the bruises more closely. “What happened here?”

 

Daniel didn’t answer at first, staring at his mother and biting his bottom lip for a long moment before he finally said, “Um, I think I fell in Daddy’s backyard.”

 

“Fell onto what?” Antonia asked. “What happened to cause this, baby?”

 

“I don’t remember,” Daniel said quickly, the pupils of his eyes dilating so wide Antonia could barely make out his irises.

 

“Daniel…” Antonia said in a warning tone of voice, reaching out to brush her fingertips gingerly across his bruised stomach. “Please tell me if something is going on, okay? I need to know if anybody—if anything is hurting you.”

 

“Everything’s fine, Mama,” Daniel said, smiling brightly at Antonia. “I’m pretty sleepy, though.”

 

Antonia sighed and nodded to herself, pulling Daniel’s shirt back down to cover the bruise back up. “All right, baby. You get some sleep. But we’re going to talk about this again tomorrow, okay? And I want a better answer than just ‘I forgot,’ all right? Sweet dreams, my sweet baby,” she said as she exited the room and switched off the lights.

 

Standing there in the dimly lit hallway, she could barely make out the noises from downstairs, but after a few moments of hard concentration her mind blocked out all other stimuli and zeroed in on Cal’s movements on the floor below. His footfall kept going back and forth, so he was walking around, maybe even pacing with anxious energy. What does he have to be anxious about? Antonia wondered to herself. It’s not like he let his boss bend him over and fuck him and then ignore him the whole day afterwards. When she strained her ears, she could make out the faint sound of glass clinking. Maybe Cal was making himself dinner.

 

Antonia was tempted to just go back into her room, the one adjoining Daniel’s, and wait there until Cal left for work in the morning. Maybe if she delayed seeing him for a week or so, she would no longer feel awkward whenever she saw him or heard him.

 

But for some reason her feet moved forward, carrying her to the stairwell, reducing the distance between her and Cal. Her body seemed to move of its own volition, as if there was a rope wrapped around her torso, dragging her forward despite the protests her brain was repeating on a loop as she headed downstairs.

 

Antonia saw the exact moment that Cal heard her. His shoulders stiffened and his head turned to the side for a brief moment as she came up behind him in the kitchen. In a way, it was a reversal of the night before, when Cal had snuck up behind her. Antonia felt a rush of power at the thought, her blood traveling faster through her veins as she approached Cal, stopping a few inches away from his back.

 

“Hello, Antonia,” Cal finally said after a long, tense pause. He was still facing the other direction, his hands flat on the counter in front of him as if he was preparing to launch himself through the window to escape this confrontation.

 

He’s nervous, Antonia realized with a smug sense of satisfaction. He’s afraid I’m going to talk about it. Let’s see how long I can torture him before I put him out of his misery.

 

“Haven’t seen you around much the past couple of days,” Antonia said, turning around and heading to the refrigerator to get a snack.

 

She heard Cal inhale quickly, like he was caught off guard, but he didn’t say anything right away.

 

“Just wanted to check if you needed an update on Bobby or anything,” Antonia said, keeping her tone light and casual, as if she really hadn’t had any contact with Cal over the past week or so.

 

“How is he?” Cal asked after clearing his throat. His voice sounded a little ragged, as if he either hadn’t spoken in days or had shouted out his vocal cords.

 

“He’s wonderful,” Antonia said honestly. She grabbed a yogurt from the refrigerator and went back over next to Cal to grab a spoon from the silverware drawer next to the sink. “He’s one of the sweetest kids I’ve ever met in my life. He loves Daniel, and they play together for hours whenever Daniel isn’t at preschool or with his father. By the way, you should really look into getting Bobby into a preschool program. They can help him develop some learning skills earlier on in life.”

 

“Can’t you do all that?” Cal asked, turning around to face her. His face looked long and drawn, his eyes dimmer than usual. He must have had a rough day, Antonia observed silently as she began eating her yogurt, taking her time to answer Cal’s question.

 

“Not exactly,” Antonia said after swallowing a couple spoonfuls of yogurt. “I haven’t been trained or anything, anyway. I’ve been able to do an okay job with Daniel, but I’ve had help from his teachers. Maybe you can sign Bobby up for the same one Daniel goes to. That way, he’d be sure to have at least one friend.”

 

“Maybe,” Cal said. He thumbed at his bottom lip and stared at the floor next to Antonia’s feet. “I don’t know anything about kids, though. Wouldn’t it be worse to put him in a school only to have him be removed from it down the road?”

 

“You mean…when you find his mother?” Antonia asked. Cal nodded slowly, still not meeting her eyes. “You’re still committed to that?”

 

“Nothing’s changed,” Cal said, finally lifting his gaze toward Antonia’s face. Antonia’s heart froze in her chest for a millisecond then pounded so hard she was afraid she was going to pass out. He’s not just talking about his son, Antonia realized, keeping her gaze as steady as possible as Cal continued to stare at her. He’s talking about the sex.

 

“All right,” Antonia said, licking her lips and nodding in agreement. “I assumed as much anyway, but it’s good to check in.”

 

“Right,” Cal said. He turned back to whatever food he was preparing on the countertop. Antonia was honestly too nervous to look over at him now to see. Her fingertips were shaking and her knees felt weak. Her stomach tossed and turned inside of her. All of the power she’d felt from before seemed to disappear all at once, leaving her hopeless and inert. She leaned back against the refrigerator and only looked at Cal out of the corner of her eye.

 

“Anyway,” Antonia forced herself to say. She shoved the rest of her yogurt into her mouth so she would have an easy excuse to leave the room and go back upstairs to hide from Cal, “I better head to bed. I have to get up early to—”

 

“Ahhh!” Before Antonia could get the rest of her sentence out, she was cut off by a bloodcurdling scream. “Daniel!” Antonia cried out, dropping her yogurt and breaking into a run. She dashed upstairs as fast as she could, rushing to her son’s room and flipping on the light. “Daniel, what is—”

 

“Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!” Daniel shouted, sobbing brokenly as he reached out to be picked up by his mother.

 

“Baby, what is it? What happened?” Antonia whispered into his ear. She held him close and rocked him back and forth in her arms.

 

Daniel just sobbed harder and buried his face into Antonia’s shirt, gripping hard at her neck.

 

“Is everything okay?” Cal asked. Antonia almost jumped, her nerves all on edge after Daniel’s howling scream. She turned around slowly to face her boss and nodded to him.

 

“I think so,” she replied, petting over the back of Daniel’s head. “Did you have a bad dream, baby?” she asked softly. She rubbed Daniel’s back to soothe away the tension in his little spine.

 

Daniel nodded and sniffled, keeping his face buried in Antonia’s chest.

 

“It’s okay now, darling,” Antonia said. “You’re safe. Everything’s fine. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real.”

 

Daniel choked out another sob but otherwise didn’t make any noise in response. Antonia’s skin prickled with worry. Her son was usually so talkative and animated. In the past, whenever he had a bad dream, he’d tell her about it in extreme detail, asking her if any part of it was real. Why was he not jumping into a long-winded explanation now? And did it have anything to do with the bruises she’d noticed earlier?

 

“What’s going on?” a small voice asked. Antonia turned back to the hallway again and saw that Bobby got gotten up and was now standing next to his father, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

 

“Nothing, honey. Go back to bed,” Antonia said. She hugged Daniel closer when he gripped her neck even harder than before, his little nails digging into her skin painfully.

 

Bobby frowned, his brows furrowed together as he looked to his dad for an explanation. Cal just sighed and put his hand on the top of Bobby’s head. It was the first time Antonia had ever seen Cal touch Bobby, at least in a semi-affectionate way. “Go on back to bed, Bobby,” Cal said. “We can see Daniel some more tomorrow.”

 

Bobby hesitated, his gaze flipping between Cal’s face and Antonia’s a few times before he finally nodded and turned back around. He paused again at the door to his bedroom and waved a little at Antonia before he disappeared back into his bedroom.

 

“Why don’t you tell me what you dreamed about, sweetheart?” Antonia whispered into Daniel’s ear again. She shifted her weight from one foot to another as the weight of her son in her arms became more difficult to bear.

 

Daniel didn’t respond, staying perfectly still in her arms, like a sack of rocks.

 

Out of nowhere, Cal spoke again, his voice softer and sweeter as he addressed Daniel. “Hey, buddy. Are you hungry? Why don’t we go downstairs and have a sandwich? I know when I have a bad dream, a quick snack can help me forget about it faster.”

 

Daniel was still for another long moment before he finally nodded his head, keeping his face pressed into Antonia’s shirt. Antonia looked up at Cal again, surprised that he hadn’t gone back to his bedroom by now, but when Cal nodded and gestured for her to follow him downstairs, she complied. She kept a safe distance, though, of at least a couple feet from Cal until they made it back into the kitchen.

 

“What kind of sandwich do you want? I have just about everything here,” Cal said, presumably addressing Daniel but looking straight into Antonia’s eyes.

 

“He likes peanut butter on wheat bread,” Antonia said. “Isn’t that right, baby?”

 

Daniel nodded slowly. Cal set about making a plain peanut butter sandwich. Antonia was practically transfixed, watching as Cal’s wide, broad hands worked slowly and methodically at making the perfect sandwich for Daniel. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from Cal’s long, thick fingers, the same ones that wrapped around her neck just twenty-four hours earlier.

 

When he was done making the sandwich, he gestured for Antonia and Daniel to follow him into the dining room. He set the plate down on the table before taking a seat. Antonia had a feeling that Daniel wasn’t ready to be put down yet, so she settled on the seat and held Daniel in her lap as he reached out for his midnight snack. “Do you want to tell me what you had a nightmare about, honey?” she asked softly. She brushed some of the hair back from Daniel’s forehead as he leaned over to bite into his sandwich.

 

Antonia’s son just shook his head and chewed, completely disregarding the question. Antonia felt frustrated and a little annoyed, but she promised herself she wouldn’t show it, instead giving a comforting backrub to her son as he continued to eat.

 

“What do you have nightmares about?” Daniel asked when he was halfway through his sandwich. It took Antonia a moment to realize it, but he was talking to Cal, not her.

 

“Uh, what?” Cal asked.

 

“You said you have nightmares, too, sometimes,” Daniel explained. “What scares you, Mr. Amos?”

 

Antonia inhaled deeply, preparing herself for Cal’s inevitably caustic, vague response. He didn’t let anyone get close to him, not even his own son. Why would he answer Daniel’s innocent question?

 

But instead, Cal smiled. The expression looked oddly out of place on his face, like he was molded only for misery. “A lot of different things scare me,” he admitted, tapping his fingers on the table in front of him.

 

“Like what?” Daniel asked with his mouth full.

 

“Oh, lots of stuff,” Cal replied. “Sometimes I have dreams about big storm clouds closing in on my house. Or other times I have nightmares that I’m stuck in a dark room and I can’t find a way out of it. Stuff like that.”

 

“Sounds scary,” Daniel commented. He brushed his hands over his plate to get the crumbs off his fingers. He turned around in Antonia’s lap to face her and said, “Mommy?”

 

“Yes, sweetheart?” Antonia said. She kept her arms wrapped tightly around her son even as he wriggled a little bit on her lap.

 

“I’m tired. Can I go back to bed?”

 

“Of course,” Antonia answered. She got to her feet carefully so as not to drop Daniel on the ground. “Do you want Mommy to lie down with you for a while?” Usually, Daniel wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep after a nightmare unless he was cuddled up with Antonia. She knew it was a habit he’d have to break eventually, but not tonight.

 

“No, I’m okay,” Daniel said. His response surprised her so much she stopped in her tracks for a second to make sure she heard her son correctly. “I’m so sleepy…”

 

“Okay, honey, I’ll take you back to bed,” Antonia said. She hitched Daniel higher up in her arms as she left the dining room and walked back to the staircase.

 

“Can Mr. Amos come with us?” Daniel asked, reaching out beyond Antonia’s shoulder to gesture towards Cal, who had followed them from the dining room to the main entrance area.

 

“Um…” Antonia wasn’t sure what to say. She turned to look at Cal to see if he was put off by the mere suggestion of spending more time with his live-in help.

 

“Sure I will,” Cal said. He walked faster to catch up with them and head up the stairs.

 

“I—thank you,” Antonia stuttered out. Her face burned a little as Cal led the way back towards Daniel’s room. Why was Cal being so nice? He hadn’t even reacted this way when his own son had a bad nightmare a few weeks before. What was it about Daniel that suddenly made Cal act like a decent human being? More than decent, Antonia realized. Not even Paul would stay up with me to talk Daniel down after his nightmares, and he’s my son’s father. Why in the world is Cal being this way?

 

Antonia finally dropped Daniel back down on his bed and gathered the blankets around him to protect him from the cold. “Sweet dreams,” she said as she pecked Daniel on the cheek.

 

“Can I have a kiss from Mr. Amos?” Daniel whispered, as if he was afraid to ask the question.

 

Okay, that was probably going too far, Antonia guessed. “No, honey, just go to sl--” she started to say to her son, but before she could say anything else, Cal appeared at the side of the bed and leaned over her to get to Daniel.

 

“Goodnight, champ,” Cal said. He pecked Daniel’s forehead lightly, then walked out of the room.

 

Antonia’s jaw dropped open as she watched Cal walk toward the door, but when Cal turned around and made eye contact with her, she tore her gaze away from him, refocusing her attention on her child. “Goodnight, darling,” she whispered as sweetly and reassuringly as she could. “We’ll talk in the morning, all right?”

 

“Goodnight, Mommy. Don’t let any monsters get you,” Daniel said. He yawned widely as his eyes slid shut.

 

As soon as she was fairly confident that Daniel was asleep, Antonia got to her feet, turned the lights off, and closed the bedroom door behind her. Out in the hallway, she sagged against the wall and buried her face in her hands as the events of the day caught up with her. She felt utterly wrung-out, like every drop of energy in her body had been drained away.

 

“He’ll be okay.” Antonia dropped her hands from her face to make sure that she’d heard correctly. Cal was standing across from her now, chewing on his bottom lip and crossing and uncrossing his arms every few seconds like he couldn’t get comfortable. “He seems to be all right, anyway.”

 

“I don’t know,” Antonia admitted. She signed deeply and peeled herself off the wall. She walked further away from her son’s room just in case he was still awake and happened to be listening. “Can I get your opinion on something?” she asked Cal. He followed her down to the opposite end of the hallway, safely away from both Daniel’s and Bobby’s bedrooms.

 

“Sure,” Cal said.

 

“I’m not sure how to say this,” Antonia admitted. If she had any energy left inside her, she would have felt embarrassed to talk about this with Cal, afraid that he’d think it was inappropriate, especially given their previous lapse in professionalism. But for now, other demands outweighed her bashfulness. She needed advice, and unfortunately there wasn’t really anybody else she could turn to at the moment. “Daniel came home with weird bruises on his body.”

 

Cal’s brow immediately furrowed. His eyes narrowed as he listened to Antonia’s words. “Big or small?”

 

“Big,” Antonia said. “And I don’t know how they got there. Daniel said he fell or bumped into something or just had some kind of normal accident while he was running around, but…”

 

“But you think something else might have happened,” Cal suggested, stating it matter-of-factly rather than phrasing it as a question.

 

“Right,” Antonia replied. “Like…I don’t know. I’m just being paranoid and freaking out about things. It’s probably nothing.”

 

“Not necessarily,” Cal said. They came to a stop in front of his bedroom. Antonia fidgeted with her hands for a moment, feeling awkward and unsure of what to do until Cal gestured for her to follow him into his room. “Come on, let’s talk in here.”

 

Antonia did as she was instructed, going over and sitting down next to Cal on his bed. The heavy sensation of dread hung over her chest, making her feel like her breath wasn’t able to get inside her lungs. What could have happened to Daniel? Antonia wondered. She picked anxiously at her fingernails, tearing up the sides of her cuticles painfully. Where did those bruises come from? Could…someone have hurt him?

 

“I don’t know what to do,” Antonia confessed, thinking out loud. “I really don’t know.”

 

“About the bruises?” Cal asked.

 

Antonia nodded, still not looking directly at Cal. “I don’t know what they mean. I mean, I don’t want to freak out over nothing, you know? Paul…he’s a shitty guy, but he loves his son. He wanted partial custody of him when we broke up. I don’t think he would hurt him.”

 

“But…?” Cal prompted her.

 

“But I don’t know for sure,” Antonia said. She blew out her breath in frustration. “I don’t want to accuse him of something. I mean, we already don’t get along. I got into a fight with him today in front Daniel…and Bobby, too, by the way. Sorry about that. I know it’s very unprofessional and wrong and I shouldn’t have done that.”

 

“It’s okay,” Cal said. “Trust me, I’m sure Bobby has seen a lot worse.”

 

Antonia smiled sadly, then finally turned to look at her boss. “Weirdly, that doesn’t make me feel better.”

 

“Sorry,” Cal said. He returned her humorless smile, which looked more like a grimace on his face. “But I guess there’s probably not a whole lot anyone can do right not to make you feel better, huh?”

 

Antonia nodded. She swallowed hard around the bile that was creeping up her throat as she pictured the bruises on Daniel’s skin. “Yeah. I guess I just have to let myself feel this way. Terrified and fucking useless.”

 

“You’re not useless,” Cal said, his tone weirdly defensive, as if she’d just personally offended him. “Don’t say that.”

 

“Why not?” Antonia asked, shrugging at Cal. “It’s the truth. I can’t even get my son to tell me what’s going on. He’s five years old, and he’s already learning how to lie to me.”

 

“Men learn to lie to the women in their lives at a young age. I wouldn’t worry about it” Cal said, offering another smile, a little brighter this time. “Anyway, all you can do right now is exactly what you’re doing. Paying attention. Asking Daniel to tell you if something is wrong. Being concerned. It just means you’re a good mom.”

 

Antonia scoffed and rubbed her own arms against the chill of the room. “Yeah, right. I can’t even afford a good place to stay. Whenever you’re done with Bobby, we’ll be back living in some cramped shithole. Daniel’s going to grow up hating me, and he won’t be wrong to feel that way.”

 

“Hey, stop it,” Cal said. He shuffled closer to her on the bed until they were almost touching. “Don’t talk like that.”

 

“I’m just being honest with myself,” Antonia said. She sighed deeply again, feeling a heavy weight of despair on her heart. Either something was happening to her son, or she was freaking out over nothing. Either way, she wasn’t acting the way a mother should act. A real mother protects her children no matter what, Antonia thought. A real mother has things under control. Why can’t I just be strong for Daniel? Why does everything have to be a goddamn mess?

 

“Beating yourself up right now isn’t going to accomplish anything,” Cal argued. “Look, you tried to get him to talk to you. That’s all you can really do right now. So try not to think about it.”

 

Antonia sighed and rocked her head back, rolling her shoulders one way and then another in an attempt to get at least some of the tension out of her pent-up muscles. “I don’t think that’s an option right now,” she said, laughing bitterly at herself.

 

Cal was quiet for a long moment. Out of the corner of Antonia’s eye, she could see that he was frowning, his usually blank and expressionless face wrinkled with frustration. “How can I help?” he finally asked in a low, soft voice, barely audible even in the silence of the room.

 

Antonia was caught off-guard. For a long time she couldn’t come up anything to say. Finally, after several long silent moments, she cleared her throat and said honestly, “I don’t think you can. Thank you, though.” She paused for a moment then said what was on her mind. “You know, you really surprised me tonight. I thought you hated kids.”

 

Cal seemed to flinch a little, like she’d crossed a boundary by saying that. Oh, well. She couldn’t exactly take it back now. “I don’t…hate kids,” Cal said haltingly. “I just don’t know how to be…” He let his sentence trail off, sighing to himself and staring down at his own lap.

 

“I’m sorry,” Antonia said. She turned to face Cal and scooted a little bit closer until their legs were touching slightly. “I didn’t mean it as an insult. It’s just that you don’t seem like you want to be around Bobby very much.”

 

“I guess that’s fair,” Cal said. He nodded to himself and then turned to meet Antonia’s eyes again. “I mean, look. I only met him a couple weeks ago, like two days before I met you. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing. Nobody ever trained me for this.”

 

Antonia let Cal’s words hang in the air around them for a long moment before responding. But eventually she murmured, “That’s kind of how I felt when I first had Daniel.”

 

“Oh, yeah?” Cal asked. He shifted around on the bed to fully face Antonia.

 

“Yeah,” Antonia admitted. She still felt a slight burn of shame climb up her back as she thought about how she felt in the weeks after Daniel’s birth. “During the pregnancy, I thought I would have Paul’s help, you know. He wanted a baby. I thought everything was going to be okay. But when he actually got here…” Antonia’s words broke off, and she shook her head at herself, still disappointed in her heart for ever loving someone as weak and cowardly as Paul. “He didn’t help me at all. I was all by myself, and I wasn’t ready for that.”

 

“So what did you do?” Cal asked. His face remained calm, but his voice betrayed some sense of urgency, like he desperately needed to know the answer.

 

“I waited,” Antonia said, thinking back on those long hours where she stared down at Daniel, praying for the strength to take care of him. “In some ways I’m still waiting.”

 

“Waiting for what?” Cal asked.

 

“To feel ready,” Antonia said. “To feel like I’m not a total fuck-up ruining my child’s life. I still don’t know if that’s true or not.”

 

“You’re not a fuck-up,” Cal said, shaking his head at her. “You’re not.”

 

“Pfft. Thank you, but you don’t know me well enough to say one way or another,” Antonia said. She sighed deeply and stretched her neck from one side to another, trying to work out the painful kinks that had formed in her muscles over the past few hours. “Anyway, you can only do your best. Even if that’s woefully inadequate.”

 

“Hey. Come on. Stop talking about yourself that way,” Cal said. His brows furrowed in frustration as he glared at Antonia.

 

“You’re not the boss of me,” Antonia said a little sarcastically. “Oh, well, I guess technically you are, but I can still self-deprecate if I want. You don’t get to determine that.”

 

“Oh, yeah?” Cal said. He got to his feet, towering over Antonia, his eyes blazing with something that chilled Antonia to the bone. “I’m going to have to disagree with you on that.”

 

“What—” Antonia started to say, but before she could get any other words out, Cal swept her into his arms, picking her up easily as if she weighed next to nothing. “What the hell!” Antonia cried out, but her legs instinctively wrapped around Cal’s waist anyway, if only to keep herself from tumbling to the floor.

 

Now she was above Cal, suspended above his head and staring down into his eyes, which still seemed to burn with an emotion that Antonia thought she recognized but couldn’t identify. Antonia swallowed hard just to steady herself and wrapped her arms around his neck, licking her dried lips and meeting Cal’s piercing gaze as unwaveringly as she could.

 

“Stop fucking insulting yourself,” Cal whispered hoarsely.

 

“Or you’ll do what?” Antonia asked, her throat going dry as she saw Cal’s eyes fall to stare down into her shirt, his tongue poking out of his mouth as he looked at her cleavage.

 

“I think you fucking know the answer to that already,” Cal said. His hand dug harder into Antonia’s back, forcing her body closer to his as he walked around the perimeter of the bed. Before Antonia could prepare herself, Cal growled and tossed her hard on the bed, making her body bounce on the mattress with the force of his muscles.

 

The next second, Cal was on her, pinning her down to the bed with a hand on either side of her head. He stared down at her for several long moments, already panting as if he’d run a full marathon.

 

“What do you want from me?” Antonia whispered into the space between their mouths, unable to keep her eyes off his full, dark lips.

 

Cal licked his lips, his sharp white teeth bared as his eyes scanned up and down her body. One of his hands slid down to stroke her side. “You keep asking questions you already know the answer to,” Cal whispered. He leaned in, brushing his lips against her neck, applying soft feather-touches to her skin, over and over again until she shivered violently and clutched the back of his head with both hands, keeping him pinned in place with her arms.

 

Cal’s breathing, now echoing against her ear, only got harder and faster while his hand found the hem of her shirt, pushing it up and exposing the skin of her stomach to the cold air. Antonia whimpered and squirmed under his touch. His hand began rubbing her stomach, pushing her shirt up further until her bra was exposed. “You’re so fucking tempting, you know that?” Cal muttered into her ear, biting hard under her chin and making her squeal and arch up into his body.

 

Antonia could feel Cal’s grin on her skin, his teeth dancing over her flesh but making her wait for that gloriously painful moment when it would press down into a real bite again. “You like this?” Cal whispered into her neck, licking her collarbone back and forth until she finally stuttered out a response.

 

“Y-yes,” she whispered. A hot blush coursed up her whole body, making her woozy and light-headed. What am I doing? What the hell is going on? I can’t do this. I can’t fuck him again. I can’t! That little voice in the back of Antonia’s mind kept protesting on a loop over and over again, but with every swipe of Cal’s tongue it faded, her mind filled only with the sound of Cal’s breathing and his light, teasing laughter.

 

“Yeah, you fucking like this,” Cal said as he drifted back up to her ear, tonguing at her earlobe before skimming the edge of his teeth around the perimeter of the shell of her ear.

 

Antonia wrapped her legs around Cal’s waist, tugging him closer into her crotch. “Yeah, I fucking like it.” Her own voice was hoarse and shaky, her breathing speeding up as her hips twitched forward of their own volition, humping against Cal’s cock which was hard inside his jeans.

 

“You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you?” Cal nibbled along the edge of her neck. She moaned and gasped, tangling her fingers deeper into his thick hair.

 

“Yes,” Antonia admitted, finally realizing what she’d wanted this whole time. Her body ached for him, her cells screaming out to be touched by his hands, his tongue, his teeth, his cock—every inch of him that she could possibly touch. “I fucking need it. Give it to me.”