Jack: Exile
“No one,” she says. I know she’s lying. She hides it well—she’s already far more competent at this than she was a few weeks before. I feel sick. How could I have been so stupid? Love is a door that lets weakness in.
Was I in love with her?
No. That’s stupid. I’m infatuated. Was infatuated. I open my mouth to spit something as painful as I can think of back at her, but a small voice in my head chokes the words in my throat.
Can you blame her? Can you blame her for wanting to destroy all the evil that you’ve built? Can you blame her if she wants revenge? You ruined her life, took her, did terrible things to her. She was nearly killed back there because of you. If it wasn’t for you, she would’ve never been on that island—would’ve never had to experience what war is.
O’Bannon and Rackham are dead back on that island because of what Riley did. I saw them go down in the courtyard. Other men I knew are dead. I didn’t even realize that I’d started to pretend they were my friends. But I can’t blame her for a single part of it. It’s not actually her fault at all. It’s mine. I built something that was rotten to its core from the start—a fallen empire.
I know that’s all true, but I can’t help but hate her. When someone wants you dead, it’s hard to resist at least resenting them for it. But it’s not just someone. It’s the woman you love.
For just a moment, she made me believe in love again. I’m an idiot. Love is a lie. Believing in it made me weak. It almost just got me and Riley killed. We survived by a hair's breadth and the flip of a coin. I imagine what Byron would've done if he could've gotten his hands on her all alone, and I shudder. There are things out there with claws and predilections even worse than mine. If I'd missed with that knife…
And this violence isn’t a singular instance. It doesn’t matter whether love is real or not. Even if I could have Riley I’d only be putting her in danger. Keeping her with me would be killing her, just like my dad killed my mom.
I call Darien and Wyatt on the woman’s phone as soon as we’re out of range of New Dawn’s signal-jammer. The speedboat doesn’t have enough gas to get us back to shore—New Dawn must’ve launched them from a bigger ship somewhere. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem to be anywhere near us. I scan the horizon compulsively anyway. Darien and Wyatt are going to have to come meet us on the ocean and bring us back.
That means there will be witnesses to Riley's "drowning." No one can know that she's still alive, not even my own men. That means I can't put the plan in place. I can't let her go yet. It’s fine, I still have a week before she goes to Daemon. I’ll fly under the radar and figure out some way to get her away back in New York. We both just have to act normal—whatever normal is for us—so Daemon doesn’t suspect the deception.
“Jack, just let me go. We’re out in the ocean, in the middle of nowhere. No one even knows we’re alive.”
“You have to trust me that soon you’ll never have to see me again. But you can’t know more than that, and I can’t let you go now. This boat doesn’t have enough gas to make it back to the coast—it’s not meant for being in the open ocean. We’re gonna need to get picked up by Darien and Wyatt.”
Her eyes fall. She believes me about that, at least.
The boat soars across the shimmering sea until moonrise turns the water into a dark mirror. I stop once to pour fuel in the tanks. Darien reaches us by midnight, just before we run out of the last of our gas—he took one of our larger smuggling ships. It even has a Browning .50-caliber machine gun mounted on the front. Victor Plince is there, too, looking smug. That’s unfortunate; Victor and his beady little eyes make it doubly impossible to let Riley escape tonight.
“Thinking about taking up piracy, Darien?” He does, really, look every inch the daring pirate rogue, standing on the prow of the ship and looking down to us.
“Yeah—you want to join my crew? I could use a first mate.” The joking just barely hides our mutual regret. I hand the New Dawn girl up, then Riley—she climbs away herself, not wanting me to touch her.
Darien offers me a hand up. “Fuck, Jack, we thought you were all dead.”
“Most of us are.”
“Who’s this?”
“Her name’s Lyra. That’s all I’ve gotten out of her. She’s from New Dawn. I want their base of operations out of her. I want everything she knows. Fast. Do you understand? Those fascist fucks have gone long enough without getting wiped out.”
“O’Bannon and Rackham?”
I know they were friends, even though Darien’s high-class and they were a couple of city tough guys. I had liked them, too. “Gone.”
A shadow passes behind his eyes for just a moment, but there’s no other sign it affects him. He nods. “I’ll get the information.”
“Do you know where Daemon is? Do you know why he wasn’t on the island?”
"No. No word except I know he's still at the usual place. He just…didn't show." I can tell Darien thinks something's off, too, but he doesn't need to say it.
“Darien,” he turns. “Take Riley, too. She goes back to New York.”
“She’s not…” Darien starts before he cuts himself off. Staying with you, I know he was going to ask. He seems surprised but hides it.
“No.” I need to do what Daemon would expect me to do right now. I can’t let him think that I’m planning anything else. That means taking out New Dawn then waiting for the right time in the next few days to let Riley slip free.
The rest set to work on the ship and Riley and I are left alone. We stand with only air between us, and the moon, and the rocking of the dark ocean. Just one moment longer. She looks at me like she wants to say something—or say everything—but there are no words for it. She bites her lip. Tears come to her eyes again. “You killed an innocent man, Jack.”
I don’t know what to say to make her believe me. And it doesn’t matter anyway. Soon she’ll be gone, and she’ll never have to see me again. I do something stupid—I can’t help myself. I take out the gold- black pistol, load a bullet into it, and offer it to her, handle first. “If you really believe that then get him justice. You know how a gun works.” I line the muzzle up for a clean shot at my heart. “Pull the trigger.”
She wraps her lovely hand around the gun. Her grip is firm and sure. I take my hand away. “You know I can’t do this,” she says.
“Why not?”
“Because…” Because she loved me. And I love her.
She offers the gun back to me. "Keep it. Maybe it'll come in handy later if you change your mind." I just don't want the gun anymore. I don't want anything I won in that poker game. I wish I could go back and do it all over again and win Riley's heart and soul instead of her body.
She pops the bullet out, unloading it. She’s learned her lessons well. She doesn’t need to be bound or forced around like Lyra. She turns her back to me and walks away without a word, disappearing inside the ship. I watch her perfect figure fade into the moonlight and feel my heart break in my chest. This is why it’s better not to let feelings get this far. She is the fractures in my heart and soul.
“You fucked up,” Victor gloats to me, low enough so that no one else can hear.
“See you around, champ.”
I refuel the dark speedboat with fresh gas from Darien. We tug it behind us and when we’re within reach of the coast I split off from the main ship and fly south. My night’s not over. I need to go and prepare men and arms for when Darien gets New Dawn’s location from Lyra.
By next week New Dawn will be ashes and blood and nothing else. Riley will be an already distant memory. I’ll rule New York and the whole world will be at my fingertips. I’ll have anything I want—power, money, women, delicacies, and pleasures of every type. I won’t need some girl I only met a month ago. Riley’s smart and strong. She’ll escape and build a better life—one without me in it. And she’ll be better off for it. It’s all for the best—the best that a bad situation could be.
Kill the weakness in you. Let your heart harden again. Let Riley Lark go.
The darkness of the ocean envelopes me and I speed into the night.