E

THE BAR IS PACKED WITH people. I have barely been able to have a break, let alone think about Eli.
He hasn’t come in tonight. Maybe he is avoiding me?
Naked by James Arthur is playing. It’s a song about someone giving themselves to an unrequited love, no matter how many times they break their heart or tell them no. Hmm, doesn’t sound like anyone I know?
I listen to the lyrics as they speak to me. This is how Eli makes me feel. Yeah, this song is written for Eli and me.
My eyes fill with tears as I try to blink them away. I don’t want to cry anymore tears over him.
I feel like I could stand naked in front of Eli, and he still wouldn’t make a move. He would still act like he doesn’t want me, even though I know he does deep down. He wants me as much as I want him.
I feel the connection; surely, he does too. It’s not just me, is it?
There’s something there between us, I know there is.
I know Eli’s unsure of relationships. I know he closed his heart off years ago.
But I’m worth taking a chance for, aren’t I?
I know he’s worth taking a risk, for letting myself become vulnerable by getting into a relationship. I’d give up everything to be with him. Why won’t he do the same for me?
Life is about making mistakes, taking risks, falling in love not closing your heart off to the world.
Maybe all the romance books I’ve read over the years have clouded my judgement. Maybe things that happen in books don’t happen in real life.
I stand up after getting the bottle of vodka from under the bench when my eyes meet a woman’s. She stands in front of me. She’s pretty, with blonde hair and a petite body. She looks like someone Eli would go for.
Don’t go there, Charli.
“What can I get you?”
I ask her with a big smile on my face.
“You’re Charlotte, right?”
I pinch my eyebrows together. How does she know my name? I’m not wearing a name badge.
“Yes.” I say slowly, wondering who she is.
The smile on her face tells me she is pleased that she has found me.
“He’ll never want you, you know that, right?” she says, pulling her hair over her shoulders.
Her breasts practically fall out of her top. She glares at me through this entire exchange, and I wonder who this chick is.
“Excuse me?” I ask.
Her posture changes from sweet to snarky in seconds.
She places her hands on the bar, her long fingernails scraping across the wood, as she leans toward me only inches away from me. She sticks her tongue out the side of her mouth with a smile on her face like she had won a big prize and she is pleased with herself.
“You’re too sweet for him. He likes it rough, and he likes to fuck… Not make love.”
I want to wipe that smug look off her face.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know who or what you’re talking about?”
She laughs and it catches the attention of a few people at the bar.
I look around hoping no one can hear what she was saying.
My eyes come back to her as she rolls her eyes at me.
“Oh please, you’re not that naïve, are you? Like Eli would ever go for a girl like you? I mean, you’re not even his type. He likes girls like me, who know how to fuck, who know how to ride his cock, the way he likes it. Who can give him all the pleasure he craves.”
I feel my stomach twist. I was right. Eli has been with this girl before.
Tears sting my eyes. My entire mouth goes dry, and I bite the inside of my cheek. I don’t know what this chick thinks she’ll get by taunting me like this. It’s a known fact that Eli sleeps with anything willing and female, and he never does it twice.
Crap.
I need to stop thinking this way, but has he been with this girl more than once? Her sneer makes me wonder if she thinks she owns him.
“Told you.” She says, licking her lips provocatively. “Honey, you didn’t think you actually had a chance, did you? Eli doesn’t do relationships. He’s not starting with a girl like you. You wouldn’t know what to do with him. He’d break you. He takes me so deep, I’m sore for days after. He likes making girls gag while they suck his massive, juicy cock. Do you even know how to give a man a blowjob?”
This is quickly turning into a pitiful show. I want to turn away from her, but I can’t. The bitch knows it; she’s enjoying my discomfort.
I swallow trying to get the images of this chick with Eli out of my head.
It’s torture.
“He has fucked me outside this bar, against a wall. He loved it. He called my pussy magic. I sucked his cock like a porn star. Would you fuck him in public? It’s one of his biggest fetishes.”
The tone of her voice is mocking, like she loves torturing me.
I wouldn’t have sex in public. It’s a private thing between two people. I never knew how low Eli’s standards are. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t made a move with me. I won’t do the things this girl claims she has.
Maybe I am too boring for him. Maybe he did like it the way she says.
“Did I hit a nerve?” She asks, smiling like she won.
Maybe she has won. I can’t compete with a woman like this.
“He’s all yours,” I tell her and walk out the back.
I need a moment. It’s becoming harder to hold back my tears. I don’t want to let her see me cry.
I hear her laughter as I make my way out the back
I feel sick, vomit threatens to spill out on the floor in front of me.
As I wipe my eyes, Chester walks in. Not what I need right now.
“You okay, Charli?” he asks, placing a hand on my shoulder.
“Yes, I’m fine.” I lie. “Just a little overwhelmed I think, I’m a little tired that’s all.”
He nods but I can tell he doesn’t believe me
“He doesn’t deserve you. You know that, right?”
I stare at him in confusion.
“I can treat you the way you deserve to be treated Charli, we’d be so good together,” he says as his hand touches my hand. I glance down at our hands as his mouth moves closer to mine. It all feels wrong. I pull back just in time, before his lips touch mine.
“Chester,” I say softly.
He brushes the hair that has fallen from my bun over my ear and his thumb caresses my cheek.
“Just one kiss, Charli. That’s all it would take for you to forget about him.” He leans in and I turn my head, trying to keep his lips from touching mine.
His lips brushed my cheek and he groans.
“Come on, baby, one kiss.”
“Chester, no.” I said pushing him off me.
He sighs and shakes his head.
“What do you see in him? He can’t give you what I can and he certainly isn’t interested.”
“I—” I stumble with my words, what do I tell him? Sorry, you don’t do anything for me? He doesn’t stir my body like Eli, his scent doesn’t drive me crazy and his smile doesn’t light up my universe.
“I’m sorry.” I say.
I twist my hands in front of me, hoping he won’t push the matter.
He huffs and walks back out the door, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I’m thankful he didn’t push me further or try anything more.
I know Chester is interested, but for him to try and kiss me? That’s new.
I look up at the clock and sigh. I still have an hour before I go home.
“Hey, are you okay?” asks Megan, the only other female that works here.
I wipe my face, trying to hide my tears. My tears start falling and I can't stop them. Megan puts her arms around me holds me while I cry. She says nothing while I sob on her shoulder.
I stop sobbing, and I pull back. She takes her thumbs and wipes my eyes, giving me a nice, big smile.
“There now, you don’t look like a raccoon.” She says.
I laugh.
“Want to talk about it?
I shake my head I don’t want to be rude but we are not that close at least not yet, she only started working here two months ago.
Megan is older than me by a few years. She’s a nice girl, we have become kind of friends, but this is something I’m not quite ready to discuss with her.
“I’m here if you want to vent or if it’s boy trouble,” she said in her southern twang. “All I know if it’s boy trouble, whoever he is, he’s done gone and lost his damn mind. A cute thing like you deserves a king, not a boy. Be careful, Charli. Men have a way of taking our hearts, and we never truly get them back once we give a piece of ourselves to someone like that.”
“Thank you,” I say, my voice soft.
She smiles and squeezes my hand.
I let out a sigh pull myself back together and walk back out