Symptoms Undetected
Rya
Peaceful.
The way early morning hangs in the air, with its barely there breeze.
Individual drops of dew cling to the blades of grass, sparkling, before lazily sliding down to moisten the dirt. Dallas is inside his house, getting changed.
Clayton is settled down deep into the chair, his head resting on his shoulder. Arms hanging down off the chair, his fingertips almost touch the empty bottle that’s been dropped once finished. He feel asleep outside. The fire is no more; nothing but ash remains. Cold and grey.
I wait for Dallas to get changed so we can go on an early morning run, just as Cash and I did.
Leaning against the hood of the car, I don’t look away from the sight in front of me.
I can tell exactly the moment he startles awake, his fingertips twitching, body stiffening.
I watch him straighten up in the chair. He doesn’t turn around. Instead, I see his hands grip onto the armrests, squeezing them as if trying to hold himself in his spot.
I don’t look away.
He continues to stare straight ahead; I continue to stare at his head. Until he turns around, getting off his chair.
Glacier blue meets forest green.
The way our eyes connect, wind chimes tingle my spine.
Tingling.
Vibrating.
Strumming.
His lips turn up in a smile. I can’t return it because I’m focusing too hard on maintaining my composure.
Magnetic, the way this bond tries to pull me. Whispering the deep desires into my marrow.
He moves forward, one step, then the next, the space between us growing smaller.
“How are you?” My skin shivers with the mirage of his voice.
“Good.” Looking away, I hope Dallas comes out soon.
Arms go around my chest, and I hold myself against the waves of desire crashing against me, threatening to drown me in a tidal wave of indecent wants.
Why?
I don’t want him. How come I’m reacting to him this way?
“Rya.” His silver-tongued voice lashes against my internal bindings, trying to free my self-imposed restraint.
Looking at him blankly, I ask him the question I want to know the answer to.
Think.
Watch.
Listen.
“Your last voice mail, did you mean it?” I watch his answer.
Eyes looking away for a fraction of a second, heart rate increasing, a hesitation. He licks his lips that still hold the smell of the whiskey he was drinking the night before.
“Yes, I meant it.”
He looks away again.
Liar.
Pushing off the hood of the car, I can’t help my shoulder hitting him. It should be my fist. I can’t help the way my wolf wants to surface and take the competition away from her mate.
Her anger tries to completely take over. She has a mate already, and this male in front of us is not hers.
The eyes of my wolf stare at him, assessing the threat in great detail. He needs to be taken out in her simple mind.
Barely able to turn us around, I need to go into the house and find Dallas to calm her down.
I pull the door open and stand just barely on the inside looking in. Scents mingling together, a small pup mixes in with every other wolf’s.
“Excuse me.” As if trying to gently move me out of his way, Clayton’s slight flicker of his hand, the pad of his thumb runs along the side of my hip.
Flesh against flesh, a jolt of electricity has my heart fluttering, eyes widening. His nose is so close, I feel the tip of it against my head.
This is all done is mere seconds, but to me, it’s slow motion.
Deep, grumbling vibration shakes my body, the wolf not pleased he touched us.
Watching him, he fills a glass with water, drinking it down greedily. He looks parched. A few drops escape his mouth, landing on his shirt. Pulling out a jar of peanut butter, he takes a spoon, dipping it in. Taking a giant scoop, he puts it in his mouth and swallows it down.
The silence between us is blank static.
He continues to eat out of the peanut butter jar, one spoonful at a time. His eyes stay on me. I feel the burn heating my body, reddening my cheeks.
Can he tell what his eyes do to me?
I let my eyes travel the rest of the room. Carson is belly down on the couch. He’s trying not to wake up, putting the pillow over his head. He’s just in boxers that are tight against his thighs.
One arm dangles over the cushions as his fingertips touch the floor. One leg is bent, the other leg in the crack of the couch.
A frantic morning cry of a pup has my eyes traveling down the hallway. It sounds like it’s hungry. The cry grows more demanding until it’s replaced by soft sucking, mewing sounds.
Caleb opens a door and comes out into the kitchen.
“That’s sick. Put some in a bowl if you’re going to eat out of the jar.” I watch as this wolf goes into the fridge, opening the milk carton, drinking it all down before putting the empty container where he found it.
“Rya.” Caleb gives me a giant welcoming smile.
“How are you?”
He approaches closer, eyes trailing up and down my body, nose taking in my scent. He takes a step backward, looking slightly off.
“Good, how are you, Caleb?”
“Never better.” He gives a stretch, his shirt rising to show off his tight abdomen.
“How’s Cash doing?” His voice sounds slightly strained. Caleb sits down on his brother’s back, bouncing up and down until he wakes up.
“He’s managing. It’s hard for him.” Looking toward Clayton, I see the spoon deep in the jar. His knuckles have a smudge of peanut butter on them.
He pulls out the spoon, licking the spots where it’s dirty. He catches me staring at him as his tongue is tasting the last of the peanut butter. I need to look away.
“Get off me.” Carson elbows Caleb in his side before shoving him off. Sitting up, he sways slightly, rubbing his eyes. He looks like he had a rough night.
Dallas comes out of his room, just a pair of shorts on. I actually lick my lips at the feast of flesh. The wolf’s fur settles down with his presence.
She relaxes slightly.
Going up to him, I run my bare arm against his, my cheek pressing into his chest for just a fraction of a second before pulling away.
His head dipping low, he kisses the top of my head before squeezing me close to him.
“Are you ready?” There’s a gleam in his eye.
“Where are you going?” Caleb tilts his head slightly.
“Rya wants to train with me today.”
Both brothers are up off the couch. “We’re coming.” Before Dallas can say anything, both of them are running into Caleb’s room to get changed.
Dallas is laughing at his brothers, and in this moment, I realize how much I adore this wolf.
The heat of his eyes are burrowing into my back. When I look at Clayton, he can’t look away.
Dallas looks toward Clayton. Eye contact like this between males is very dangerous. A rumble from Dallas lets Clayton know he is not appreciative of him looking at me.
Clayton does not look away, instead glaring right back at Dallas.
Kimberly comes out of her room carrying her small male.
She looks exhausted, eyes puffy as if she’s been crying all night long.
She hands her brother this joy, taking him easily as if he’s comfortable with holding a tiny form. Bringing him to his shoulder, I watch as he lifts his head, looking around wide-eyed.
“Kimberly, he’s beautiful.” I go to take a step so I can see him better. She stands in front of them, looking at me.
She’s posturing toward me, riled up for some reason.
“Is something wrong?” My head angles her way. Clayton puts a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it slightly.
“No, nothing’s wrong.” Her eyes are taking in the length of me. A male walks into the kitchen with black messy hair and presses a small kiss to Kimberley’s forehead. Taking the pup from Clayton, he kisses the young one’s mouth before tucking the pup into his arm. He stands beside Kimberly, looking at her.
The way her eyes look at this male holds a depth of sadness that hurts my chest.
She looks away, only for her eyes to turn on Carson as he and Caleb come out of the bedroom dressed in workout wear.
I can see her fists clenched, a snarl showing her small juvenile canines.
Carson tenses at the sight, looking at the male with his bed head hair.
“I told her,” this male says, who must be her mate.
“You had no right.” Carson’s finger points toward the male.
“She’s my mate. It would come out anyway when I mark her.” He gives Clayton the pup, squaring his shoulders toward Carson, who looks completely broken. He almost looks as if he could cry.
Carson walks out the door, heading down to the lake. Dallas follows him out, trying to figure out what’s wrong.
Caleb shrugs his shoulders, not knowing what’s going on.
“What’s going on, Kimberly?” Clayton’s voice is hard against his sister, who wilts by the force.
“Jake—” The words strangle in her throat.
“When I was away at college, Carson and I were together.” Laughter of disbelief comes out of Caleb’s mouth. “Not possible.” Caleb wiping his eyes of tears.
“Carson?” Confusion etches in the lines of Clayton’s face.
Jake doesn’t hang his head; he meets his eyes. “You cheated on my sister with a male?”
“Yes.” Jake’s voice is trying not to shake. Caleb’s mouth is hanging open with the confession of words.
“Carson never knew I had a mate. I never told anyone. It wasn’t his fault. It’s all mine.”
The quiet intensity of Clayton’s rage seeps slowly out. The little one in his arms starts to scream, throwing its head back, fists raised, actual tears coming out of its reddened, toothless face.
Kimberly takes her male out of her brother’s arms, trying to calm him down with a rub of his back, a coo in his ear.
“How could you do that to my sister, your own mate?” There’s a lethal edge to Clayton’s voice.
“I’m no different than you. My tastes are just different,” Jake fires back at his mate’s brother.
“That was different.”
“How?” Jake’s arms cross over his chest as he waits for an answer.
Clayton can’t answer back. It’s true. He had a mate, but he continued to screw someone else.
I give a little huff of breath.
Kimberly points a finger at me. “You’re no different than them, coming into this house with him all over you, so my brother can smell that. How do you think that affects him? So huff all you want, but you’re no better.” I see it now, the absolute contempt she has for me.
Looking out the window, I see Carson wiping away the tears that can’t stop falling. Dallas pulls him into a hug, whispering words in his ear that make his head nod up and down.
Walking away from Kimberly’s judging eyes, I’m not going to justify my actions to a juvenile female who knows nothing about what I’ve been through.
Before I go out the door, Clayton tries to hold my eyes in some form of communication that I don’t understand. Maybe if I were Kennedy I would know his look better, but I’ll never be Kennedy…that will never be.
Dallas makes his way toward me, one long step at a time.
“I’ve got to cancel this morning. How about I take you out for dinner tonight? Just me and you, on a date. If that’s okay with you? Carson needs me right now, and I want to be there for him.”
“No problem, I completely understand. Besides, I have so much to do at home anyway. I’m just going to run home. You don’t need to drive me. I’ll see you around what time?”
“I’ll pick you up at five thirty. Thanks for understanding.” He kisses my forehead before walking back to Carson, who’s facing the lake. The wind has picked up slightly, rippling the once-tranquil surface.
Running back to the house, I’m touching every tree branch that’s close to the road. I have this compulsion to leave my scent everywhere.
Walking up the driveway, I’m flushed with the exertion. My body has heated up so much I contemplate running into the lake to cool off.
Sweat saturates the fabric I have on. Usually, I don’t get so sweaty, but it’s getting hotter outside.
Drinking down glass after glass of water, I can’t seem to quench my thirst.
Looking into the fridge, pulling one of those containers out, without even warming it up, I take a spoon and fill my face with the delicious casserole. I eat the whole thing over the sink looking out the window toward the lake.
Kimberly’s words play over in my mind. I just don’t see it the same way. For me, it’s different, and that’s what I tell myself. I’m not cheating on my mate because he was never my mate in the first place.
Looking at the plants on the table, I should put them in the ground before they wilt and die.
Not bothering to change, I dig up the soft earth, placing each plant where I want it to be.
Halfway through planting, I feel the back of my hair raise as if eyes are on me.
I turn around. A few males wolves are sitting at the forest edge, eyes of wolves looking out. I don’t really recognize them. My dealing with males from this pack was non-existent.
“What do you want?” Standing, I wipe off the dirt from my knees.
I wonder how long I have been watched? They tilt up their noses as the breeze catches my hair, blowing it toward them. A growl breaks out and they’re on each other, fighting with teeth that want to tear throats. They all fight one another before tumbling back into the woods, unable to be seen but heard.
I’m slightly shaken with the sight of that.
Heading into the house, I start to get ready for my date, locking the door behind me.
This is a first real date. Stepping out of the shower, I take my time preparing myself. Looking over every outfit I have, I decide on something that shows off who I am, a female who’s trying to impress her date.
The cut of the dress reveals a touch of lace if I lean over just slightly. My arms are bare, but the back is covered. My hair is worn down. I go to do my makeup, but my cheeks are already blushed, lips slightly redder, and I make a mental note to wear a hat outside because the sun is strong even this time of year.
Pacing inside the house, waiting for five thirty, I’m hungry again. I nip at another dish inside the fridge and finish the whole thing before I hear a knock. I open the locked door for him, and his eyes go down the length of me, and before I can even say a word, he tugs me toward him, kissing me hard on the mouth.
Hands go up my thighs, bringing the fabric of my dress up with it. I’m drowning with this kiss, only focusing on this warm sensation of our mouths clashing together.
“Sorry, Rya.” He pulls himself away with a little gasp, ending the kiss. “You make it incredibly hard to have self-control.” His fingertip traces the tip of my nose before he places a quick kiss on it.
He stands tall before me, letting my eyes trail over him. My cheeks are hot again with the thoughts of what I want to do in this moment. Such crippling single-minded desire pumps through my veins.
Is this how it is to fall in love? The need to be around someone so much all you can think about is him and what you want to do with him?
He’s tantalizingly good looking, all male, with such a hard surface.
Taking my hand, he leads me out to his car, opening the door for me. He waits till I’m buckled in before closing the door. He holds my hand the whole way there, kissing my knuckles every now and then.
Walking into the tiny place, the dimness balances between perfect, not too bright, not too dark. Candlelight reflects off the faces of the humans that surround us.
We take our seats, and the waiter leaves us with menus.
Dallas doesn’t look at his. Instead, he’s just watching me. “You look very beautiful, Rya.” I blush from his words.
After ordering our meal, Dallas takes my hand in his, entwining our fingers.
“I have a question to ask you.” He seems nervous to ask this question. “I was wondering, Rya, if —” He takes a deep breath. “I would like to have a mating ceremony with you in front of my entire pack. I want to say the vows with the moon looking down at us.”
“Yes.” I have to try to keep my voice low, but I want to jump up and down in happiness.
“Good, I’ll have my mother start working on everything. She’ll call you with all the details. Are you sure about this, Rya?”
“I’ve never been surer of anything in my whole entire life, Dallas.” He leans over the table, kissing my lips.
The food is not enough as we both finish our plates, but at these fancy places, they really never give you enough, so I’m told. Talking throughout the meal, he even shares his cake with me because mine wasn’t enough.
The drive back, I let my senses indulge in the male sitting beside me. His spicy smell—my tiny receptors of pleasure are on overdrive. Embers spark with excitement as his hand rests on my inner thigh, moving upward slightly. A sigh escapes, and I widen my legs for him. I clench the inside of me with the feeling of a deep hunger for him.
Needful scents rise off my wanting body.
He parks the car. Before I get out, he tugs me over top him, moving his seat as far back as he can. His fingers slide through my hair before pulling my face toward his.
Kissing him deeply, our feast of flesh is just beginning, our night alone just starting…