CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
To Grace’s surprise three full weeks had flown by since the night she’d escorted Nanna home in the taxi. Nanna had received multiple phone calls from her daughter and various other family members and friends, all of whom she’d informed that she wasn’t up to receiving visitors.
The more time she spent with Nanna the more she realized she’d been played by the cantankerous old busybody. She controlled everyone around her, like they were all pieces on a giant chess board and lately Grace had begun to realize that she herself was no exception. It was time to move her piece to another game before she got hurt, something safer like Candy Land—somewhere Henry wouldn’t follow.
“Grow a backbone,” Grace muttered to herself.
She was still in bed, and she wanted to practice how she was going to say goodbye to Nanna today so that she wouldn’t screw it up. She couldn’t continue to live here for free, it just wasn’t right. She needed to go get a job and find her own place, even if it meant staying in a homeless shelter for a few weeks.
She had to stand her ground, or the old dear would find a way to suck her in for another project, and then another day would trickle by. Her luck couldn’t possibly hold forever. Henry would come over to check on his grandmother eventually, and she had no intention of still being there when that happened. Today had to be the day, before Nanna wormed her way any further into her heart.
The moment her feet hit the ground she felt ill. White hot nausea ripped through her, and she barely made it to the toilet in time. She threw up repeatedly and then laid down on the cool bathroom tile to recover afterwards. She looked up to see Nanna poised in the doorway with a bottle of Sprite and a box of saltines.
“Stay back,” Grace mumbled weakly. “I have the flu.”
“No you don’t,” Nanna countered obstinately.
“Not to be rude, I just puked my guts out, so I’m pretty sure you’re wrong.”
“Drink this and eat a cracker. It will help, I promise.”
The last thing Grace felt like doing was eating, but Nanna was so pushy that she eventually gave in and complied. She started feeling better almost instantly, which was weird because the last time she’d caught a stomach bug she’d been sick for days.
“Maybe it’s just food poisoning,” she said, pushing herself up to a seated position.
“It’s not that either,” Nanna countered with a smirk.
Grace felt instant shame over her awful desire to knock the eighty-year-old down a few pegs, but geriatric or no, Henry’s grandma could be really annoying at times. Seriously, no one likes a know-it-all.
“You have morning sickness,” Nanna said after a long pause.
“Ha! Yeah right. That would mean I was . . .” Grace stopped talking as her eyes practically bugged out of her head. Was Nanna actually implying that she was knocked up? None of this was real. She had to be dreaming. Yup, that was it, she was still asleep in bed, and when she woke up she’d tell Nanna she was leaving and she’d just do it. She blinked a few times and even pinched her arm for good measure but nothing changed and Nanna’s smug expression remained unaltered.
Grace began to tally off dates in her mental calendar and she came to a sobering revelation. She’d missed her period. Was she pregnant? Grace felt like she was going to throw up all over again, but this time it had nothing to do with morning sickness. This changed everything. Nanna had been studying her facial expressions closely, so she knew the precise moment she had her.
“You just stay right there, but don’t pee yet!” Nanna said excitedly before scurrying from the room with the energy of a much younger woman.
She returned shortly thereafter with a pregnancy test in one hand and a big grin on her face. There were certain items that eighty-year-olds didn’t keep in stock. One was tampons, and the other was pregnancy tests. After menopause, those types of products ceased to be necessary.
“How on earth did you get one of those?” Grace asked warily.
“Well, I just love Amazon and that fancy two day shipping.” Nanna beamed. Nanna did love buying stuff from Amazon. It was one of the ways she got around having to ask for people’s help taking her into town to the store. Every few days she’d get a package in the mail, and she’d get just as excited over opening up a box of toilet paper as she did for chocolate. It was cute, but kind of weird.
“So you thought I was knocked up two days ago and you didn’t tell me!”
“Actually I’ve had it for weeks, I’ve just been waiting for the right opportunity to give it to you.”
Grace moaned loudly. She didn’t know which was more embarrassing, the fact that she was about to pee on a stick, or that there was an eighty-year-old standing outside of the door shouting instructions at her with a stopwatch as she did so. She felt like throwing up again, but now it was for entirely different reasons.
When those two little pink lines appeared in the test window, Grace didn’t stick around long enough to do more than thrust the pee stick in Nanna’s waiting hands. She heard a muffled “Congratulations, honey” in the background but she didn’t slow down to respond. There was something she had to do, and she wasn’t going to stop until she’d seen it through to the end.
She flung open the door to her bedroom and dropped to the side of the bed. She dug her hands under the edge of the mattress and didn’t stop clawing about until she found what she was looking for. All the pills were still there. Every last one. She clutched the pills to her chest and made a beeline for the front door. She didn’t even bother closing it behind her.
Her breath came in frantic, anxious breaths, and all the exertion was causing a stitch to form in her side but she didn’t slow down. Nanna’s property was extensive, and the two women took a long walk together almost every day. There was one spot that was almost too beautiful to be real though, where a large pond cut through the property.
The ducks squawked loudly at her intrusion before flying away, flapping their wings in unison. She dropped to her knees along the side and let loose a shuddering sob. Once she started crying there was no stopping her. It was as though decades worth of tears were being released all at once. Her white-knuckled grip cut into the clear plastic baggie and that’s when she knew what she had to do.
She ripped open the bag, and shook it out into the water with unwavering resolve. She watched closely, not turning away until every last pill had either dissolved or sunk deep into the water. She stayed there a long time, and she may not have spoken aloud but her mind was working overtime. She’d ripped open the scary box of memories, and she was facing them all head-on one at a time.
There was no more denying the terrible things that had been done to her, and she took time to shake out each bottled hurt and come to grips with it. She was through being a victim. Her family had destroyed her, and all of the people to come after had done nothing but continue to take advantage of her, but no more. No longer could she afford to be ruled by anguish and despair.
There was an innocent baby growing inside of her, and it was up to her to nourish and protect that fragile life. And that was exactly what she was going to do. She pledged silent vows to her unborn child, and she meant every last one of them. She would never do drugs or drink again. She would work hard to provide a safe environment for her child to grow up in. She would keep the monsters away. And most important of all, she vowed that her child would never for one second doubt that they were wanted and loved.
She’d lost all track of time out there by the pond, but when she went to stand her bones protested and creaked in a way that let her know she’d been kneeling for hours. Nanna was sitting there on the front porch in a wooden rocker waiting for her, and she appreciated the fact that for once Nanna wasn’t being pushy. She’d sat their silently, waiting for Grace to decide whatever it was she wanted to do and take control of her life.
Grace had always stood on her own two feet, and there was nothing she despised more than charity. But all of that was about to change because nothing was about her anymore. She had to do what was best for the baby, and that meant she had to do something she’d never done before. She had to ask for help.
“I have no right to ask this of you,” Grace said. “But I don’t have any money and I need to go to a doctor and get those special vitamins they make for pregnant women. Could you please take me?”
“Sweetheart, I thought you’d never ask! You’re going to love the clan doctor. We should both use the restroom before we leave because you’re peeing for two now, and my bladder is old and tired. You’re driving. They keys are hanging up in the coat closet.”
Grace may not have been blessed with a good family, but none of that mattered. Because now she had a surrogate grandmother and Nanna was one of the most supportive and loving people she’d ever known. She was also one of the bossiest, so Grace didn’t argue when Nanna handed her a fruit smoothie to drink on the way to see the doctor. Not only was she peeing for two, she was eating for two as well.