CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The next morning was spent cramming in a marathon study session. She hadn’t mentioned her plans to her good friend, because she wanted to be able to surprise her after she’d passed the exam. It wasn’t like her foster sister had ever judged her for dropping out. Michelle had known all about the hellishly extenuating circumstances of their home life. She’d known better than anyone else the reality of her abuse.
No, Michelle had neither belittled her nor pressured her to do anything about her incomplete education. But deep down Grace had always wondered if that was really a good thing. Was Michelle just being nice? Or did her friend not believe that she had it in her to actually turn her life around and make something of herself? Part of her didn’t want to know the answer to that question.
Henry was off at work, so she had the house to herself. With her past boyfriends, the alone time would have thrilled her, but he wasn’t like the other men who had waltzed in and out of her life. When he was gone it was like a little slice of her went away too, and she couldn’t wait to get it back. Trying not to focus too much on his absence she kept herself busy.
Sadly she had dropped out of school at a younger age than most, so she had a hell of a lot of learning to catch up on. That didn’t mean she couldn’t do it, just that she needed to be realistic about things. Most people were able to prep for the exam in a few months but she was having to go as far back as junior high and even middle school in some areas to fill in the serious gaps in her education.
To complicate matters further, she’d never been a strong reader so going over the material took her far more time than it would others. Sometimes she had to read a sentence over and over again before it finally made sense. Some of the stuff still didn’t make sense, so then she had to read articles on homeschooling sites or watch YouTube videos until it clicked. Bit by bit her stores of knowledge began to grow.
More than once she’d had to ask for Henry’s help explaining something because even that wasn’t enough to get through her thick skull. But surprisingly she wasn’t ashamed. As Henry kept saying, it was okay to ask for help. She was determined to improve herself, so she kept her eyes on the prize and kept working at it.
Eventually, she reached the point where her brain was so fried that she literally couldn’t shove in one more piece of knowledge. That’s when she decided to take a break and spend some time tidying up the house. Henry kept things clean to begin with, so all it really needed was some light dusting and sweeping. There wasn’t an ounce of carpet in the entire place so at least she didn’t have to bother with finding a vacuum cleaner.
She had always hated cleaning at the diner where she’d once worked as a waitress, but here it didn’t feel as much like work. She felt content and couldn’t resist humming. In no time flat the humming had morphed into actual singing, and before she knew it she was belting out one of her favorite tunes and brandishing the feather duster like it was a cordless microphone.
Her hips began to undulate and wiggle uncontrollably to the beat, and then she spun in a big circle with her arms splayed out dramatically as she went all out for the big Broadway style finish. Her eyes turned as big as saucers and her jaw dropped open in shock when she realized she had acquired an audience.
“How long have you been standing there?” she squeaked out, mortified to have had her private concert witnessed. There were just things she didn’t do in front of other people. Was it possible to die from embarrassment?
“Long enough to realize that my girl has the sexiest voice on the planet.”
“No, I don’t,” she mumbled testily, regretting singing at all by this point. She had her hand splayed over her face, so she didn’t realize he’d moved until he was pulling her into his arms. She was indignant as she struggled to push him away, but he wasn’t budging.
“I’d be honored if you would sing me another song sometime, but you’re off the hook for the time being,” he said.
She dropped her hands, solely so that he could see when she glared daggers at him.
“Prepare to be disappointed.”
He continued speaking, unfazed by her tart attitude, looking like it was all he could do not to bust out laughing at the world’s funniest joke. “I came back early to change clothes and get you,” he explained.
“But the party doesn’t start for hours.”
“That’s true, but we are going to pick up a very special guest.”
“Who?’ she asked blankly.
“My Nanna. Jackson told her all about you and she insisted that I bring you directly to her. She also specified that it had to be today, because I was the one she wanted to come get her for the party. She obviously wants to see you for herself.”
“And you didn’t think to ask me first?”
“No one can refuse Nanna, she’s very persuasive,” Henry explained.
“What am I going to wear?” she wailed, darting towards where all of her new items hung neatly in her closet. Suddenly she wished she’d chosen different clothing. Everything just seemed too revealing to meet someone’s grandmother in. She’d selected outfits in order to entice her man, not make a good impression with his family members.
Now his grandmother was going to assume that she was a slut. Worse than that, the woman would no doubt educate her grandson about something Grace already knew all too well, that she wasn’t good enough for Henry. She was not ready for her fairy tale vacation to come screeching to a halt. She wasn’t dumb enough to believe it would last forever, but she certainly wasn’t ready for it to be over already.
She tried on every piece of clothing from the prior day’s shopping excursion, but nothing seemed right. The pile of rejects on the bed grew ever higher, and she grew increasingly more distressed as the clock ticked on. As much as Henry was enjoying the inadvertent strip tease, they were out of time and needed to leave immediately if they were going to return before the barbeque started.
“You look perfect,” he said, grabbing her arm and ushering her out of the room before she had a chance to criticize herself in the full length mirror as she’d done with every other selection.
She wore a lovely pale blue sundress, covered with a delicate floral print. Given the fact that it reached all the way down to her knees it was officially the most conservative piece of clothing she owned. Personally he would have preferred to stuff her into a large burlap sack so that the single males in the clan couldn’t see her smoking hot body, but he knew that wouldn’t be fair to her.
He tried to explain how his grandma was one of the least judgmental people he’d ever met while he drove towards her house. Sadly, his words did nothing to calm Grace’s nerves. Nor did his idiotic slip that she wouldn’t just be meeting his grandmother. Point of fact, his entire family would be in attendance for the night’s festivities.
She did not take the news well. It wasn’t like he’d personally invited them! They were simply all members of the same clan, and it was an official shifter gathering. Was it his fault he had such a large closely knit family? He supposed it would be better to wait until another time to tell her exactly how many siblings he had. Fortunately several of them lived out of state so he could probably work them in one or two at a time around the holidays when they tended to return home to visit.
“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Grace moaned. She was breathing heavily, and fearing that she was going to hyperventilate he pulled the car over to the side of the road. When she dropped to her knees outside on the grass he wondered briefly if she was going to pass out.
It didn’t matter that she hadn’t used a single time since she’d met Henry. Grace wasn’t acting on logic, she was going out of sheer terror, and terror’s best friend instinct. She reached impulsively for her stash, but it wasn’t tucked into her bra—it was safely encased beneath the lamp in her room. Thank goodness. Sometimes she was her worst enemy.
She let out a shaky breath, scared to death to realize just how close she’d come to using again. Why did she have to have such self-destructive habits? One of these days her stupidity was going to get her killed. What if they’d been home when he’d told her? What if the pills had been easily accessible in her moment of weakness? She knew she needed to get rid of them. She simply wasn’t strong enough to have them around. But it was hard to let go of her crutch. It was like a very dangerous and grown-up version of Linus’s blanket in the Charlie Brown cartoons. People came and went, but addiction was always there.
What if she used one more time and lost Henry . . . her throat seized up as the panic continued to attack her system. She could NOT lose Henry. She’d rather die of a nasty overdose. He had no idea how pathetic she was or he wouldn’t be interested in dating her. Which meant she couldn’t ever tell him about her past. If he ever found out what a loser she was he’d kick her sorry ass to the nearest curb. She might not be able to bring herself to blame him, but she would never, ever, ever get over him.
She knew she didn’t really deserve him, but none of that changed the fact that he’d wormed his way into her heart. She loved him plain and simple. Even the fact that he turned into a behemoth of a bear couldn’t put an end to the magnitude of feelings she felt for him. Strangely enough, her damaged ego had almost begun to heal to the point where she could believe that she actually deserved something nice in her life.
“Do you want to go back to the house and skip the party? I’m sure Michelle would understand if you don’t go. I’m such an ass. You’re right. It’s way too soon to expect you to meet the folks . . .”
When she finally calmed down enough to realize that he was talking, she couldn’t help but take comfort in his verbal catharsis. For a dude he sure was sensitive. He really seemed to care about her feelings. He was rambling so fast she was afraid if she didn’t stop him soon that he might actually pass out from lack of oxygen.
She squeezed his hand to get his attention, but he was so busy apologizing that he didn’t notice her gentle touch. Nor did he detect it when she whispered his name ever so gently. That’s when she decided to try her hand at shouting instead.
“HENRY!”
He stopped talking instantly and turned to give her his full attention.
“Can you please tell me more about your family as you drive to your Nanna’s?”
The look on his face about melted her heart. Why did he look so damned grateful? It was crazy, but sometimes she wondered if he might actually have been telling the truth when he’d said that he loved her, because the look in his eyes communicated that he’d gladly lasso the moon for her.