CHAPTER TEN
Over the following week, I throw myself into perfecting my cake-making in preparation for the bake-off competition. Low-level butterflies flutter constantly in my stomach, reflecting my nerves about competing in such a high profile event. But the good thing is it keeps me from thinking about Rob all the time.
Baking practice also gives me the perfect excuse to turn down Rob’s suggestions that we get together and talk.
He phones every day and repeats how sorry he is for keeping the truth about Alicia from me. My reaction is a frosty, ‘It doesn’t matter,’ or ‘It’s fine,’ which of course it isn’t, and I know he realises that. Part of me wishes he would just give up and stop phoning. But then when I don’t hear from him one day – five days after New Year’s Eve when it all kicked off - I’m plunged into the depths of despair.
The following lunchtime – when I still haven’t had a call from Rob – I catch up with Ellie and Jaz in the forlorn place that was once the thriving Little Duck Pond Café. It’s been closed ever since the shocking roof leak on New Year’s Eve and poor Ellie is heart-broken. Rob’s mate patched up the place where the water was getting in, but it’s becoming increasingly clear the place needs a whole new roof.
When I phoned Ellie last night for a progress report, she’d received the estimate for the work that day, and I could tell from her despairing tone that it was far worse than she was expecting.
Ellie’s normally so upbeat but I could sense her devastation that all her lovely plans for the bakery would have to be shelved. Even scarier, she seemed to think it was doubtful the café would ever open again.
‘What about a bank loan?’ I asked.
‘I already owe thousands for the work I’ve had done on the cafe,’ she says sadly. ‘The bank isn’t going to lend me more money - not when the business appears to be on the rocks.’
I had no answer to that.
The only time I’ve seen Ellie so floored by life is when Zak’s ex, Sophie – Maisie’s absent mum - charged back into their lives, with the chief objective of winning Zak back. If it hadn’t been for Maisie, he would have sent Sophie packing immediately. But the situation dragged on because there was a child involved, and Ellie was in torment at the thought she might lose her little family.
After Zak sent Sophie packing, it looked as if things would get back to the way they were, and Ellie’s future looked bright once more – especially with the excitement of a new bakery on the horizon. But what’s going to happen now?
I called Jaz after I talked to Ellie, and we decided a meeting at the café was necessary to boost Ellie’s flagging spirits and find out what she planned to do.
‘She’s definitely lost her mojo,’ I told Jaz.
‘Then we need to help her get it back,’ said Jaz firmly. She paused. ‘How’s Rob?’
Irritation flares inside. She asks me this every time, even though she and Ellie both know what happened and I’ve explained to them exactly how upset I am at him.
‘Haven’t seen him. No desire to,’ I say in a monotone then quickly change the subject. ‘So shall I suggest noon tomorrow to Ellie? I’ll bring some sandwiches and we can have a picnic in the café.’
Jaz agreed and here we are.
I arrived to find Ellie and Jaz already sipping cappuccino, sitting at a table in the window in their winter coats and scarves. I say hello and go straight over to the coffee machine, which luckily wasn’t affected by the leak. It’s absolutely freezing in the café. My breath emerges in puffs as I work the milk frothing tool and try to ignore the fact that I know they’re discussing Rob and me.
‘I want to bang their heads together, frankly,’ says no-nonsense Jaz. ‘I mean, think of all the time they’re wasting when they could be together. It’s so obvious they’re meant for each other, so why the hell they can’t get past this – Alicia thing – is beyond me.’
‘Er, I can hear you,’ I call over.
‘Stop it, Jaz,’ says Ellie crossly, looking over at me. ‘It’s obvious Fen’s really upset about the whole thing.’
‘I’m really not.’ I turn away to grab a spoon so they can’t see the lie written all over my face. But they carry on regardless.
‘Well, of course she’s upset.’ Jaz sighs impatiently. ‘And that’s exactly why I’m saying -.’
‘Well, could you just stop saying and think about it from her point of view? She’s already been dumped on from a great height by that cheating, lying scumbag Ethan Fox. And now she’s found out that Rob isn’t exactly squeaky clean in the truth department either.’
‘Yes, but it’s hardly on the scale of Ethan’s deception, is it?’
‘Maybe not. But a lie is a lie. You can hardly blame her for wondering if he’s deceiving her about anything else.’
‘Rob’s lovely. He wouldn’t.’
‘But he did. That’s the point.’
I paste on a smile and wander over with my coffee. ‘Look, I am actually here, folks. So could you stop talking about me please? It’s not very polite.’
They both look at me as if they’ve only just realised I’m in the room – and the slightly stunned expression on their faces is quite funny.
Jaz starts talking about the café and saying she’s a dab hand at painting when it comes to the redecoration. Ellie glances sadly at her lovely rose-patterned wallpaper that’s peeling off in strips after the roof leak and my heart goes out to her. But it’s clear she doesn’t even want to talk about it. She says she hasn’t a clue if she’ll be able to open the café again; that what will be will be. But her bright smile isn’t fooling anyone.
A safer topic seems to be the baking contest.
‘I’m terrified,’ I confess.
Ellie shrugs. ‘A little terror is probably a good thing. It’s like actors saying nerves help them perform better.’
‘Yes but I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep for ages, just thinking about it.’
Jaz looks at me with sad eyes. ‘Are you sure it’s the baking contest that’s keeping you awake?’ she probes softly.
I suppress a sigh. ‘Yes, Jaz, I’m positive.’ Rob Slater might well be keeping me awake long into the night, but I’m not about to admit it to anyone!
Ellie is studying me with a slight frown.
‘Come for dinner,’ she says suddenly.
‘What? When?’
‘The night before the baking contest.’
‘That’s tomorrow night.’
‘Is it?’ Ellie sighs and rubs her hands wearily over her face. ‘Sorry, Fen, my head’s all over the place these days. I honestly think I might be losing my marbles. I just don’t know what I’ll do if I have to give up the café.’
‘You won’t have to give it up,’ says Jaz firmly, and I echo her words, murmuring, ‘Of course you won’t.’ I only wish I knew they were true.
Ellie shrugs. ‘Well, anyway. Dinner tomorrow night?’ She turns to Jaz. ‘You come, too, and we’ll help Fen get over her nerves with good food, good chat and a glass or two.’
‘I can’t drink. I’ll need my head to be clear for the competition.’
‘Okay. Well, just the food and the chat, then. You can stay over and drive to Guildford from here.’
‘But the spare room’s out of bounds after the leak.’
‘We’ve got a lovely comfy sofa bed in the living room.’
‘I think it’s a great idea,’ says Jaz. ‘I’m in. We can give you a proper send-off in the morning.’
I nod slowly, reflecting that I won’t feel half so nervous if I’ve got my two best friends cheering me on. Then I think of Rob and how great he would have been at encouraging me, and my stomach falls down a lift shift, as it does on a regular basis these days. But I draw in a deep breath and smile at Jaz and Ellie. ‘Thank you. A night with the pair of you is just what I need.’
One thing’s for sure: I’m determined not to let my devastation over Rob get in the way of me entering this competition. I’ll show him I can manage perfectly well on my own, without his support.
I try to ignore the little whisper in my head that’s saying, You still haven’t heard from Rob. He’s moving on with his life.
Baking is the only thing you have now . . .