CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Ellie and I walk over to watch Maisie, Jaz and Summer on the carousel. Then all five of us head up to the café where the hot chocolate production line is in full swing, courtesy of Maureen and Julie, members of the local Women’s Institute. To our surprise, the display cases are full of delicious-looking cakes and shortbreads.
‘Who baked all these?’ Ellie asks. ‘They look gorgeous.’
Julie grins. ‘There’s lots more through there.’ She nods towards the kitchen. ‘And they’re selling – well, like hot cakes!’
Maureen holds up a jug of hot chocolate with a smile and the two girls chime, ‘Yes, please.’
‘Harry told us all about your plight with the roof leaking and everything,’ says Maureen, pouring the drinks. ‘So I said to Julie, we’ve got to make sure the café stays open. If Ellie closes, that’ll be an end to the old movie nights, which you know we all love. I called around the W.I. members and we all baked up a storm this morning, and all of the proceeds are going to the Save The Café fund.’
Julie nods. ‘You’d be surprised how much love there is for you and the café, here in the village, Ellie. It’s the perfect meeting place and there’s always something new going on, what with the yoga and the zumba classes, and all your brilliant village parties. Talking to people today, the general feeling is they’d be gutted if you had to shut down.’
Ellie shakes her head, looking overwhelmed. ‘This is all just amazing! I feel as if I’m dreaming and I might wake up at any second.’
I’m quite choked up myself, so I can’t imagine how emotional Ellie must be feeling.
‘I’ve got to go and find Harry,’ she says, still shaking her head in wonder.
‘He’s through there, fetching the rest of the chocolate muffins,’ says Julie.
Ellie nods and goes in search of him. And I wander out of the café and back over towards the green.
Rob and Alicia are down by the burger stall now, heads together, and a pang of jealousy rips through me. I missed my chance to make up with Rob and now it’s too late . . .
Leaning against a tree, a little way off from all the action, I stare at the beautiful whirling carousel lighting up the night sky.
Rob risked his life for me.
I shiver, thinking what might have happened if we’d slipped and fallen from that ridge onto the jagged rocks below.
A selfless act like that puts things into perspective. You see everything with a startling clarity that somehow wasn’t possible before. I feel ashamed now of how I’ve behaved towards Rob.
It was wrong of him to hide things from me, but I reacted from a place of deep insecurity, thinking he was going to break my heart just like every other man I’ve been drawn to.
I couldn’t help my vulnerability. But if I’d been less emotional and self-doubting, I might have understood more quickly Rob’s motive for being secretive.
He didn’t want to lose me.
Back then, I didn’t realise how much he cared about me, so I couldn’t understand his deceit. I thought they were the casual lies of a self-serving man. A man like Ethan Fox.
But I know differently now.
You don’t endanger your life to save someone else, unless you’re remarkably heroic or you really care about that person. And while Rob’s definitely a hero in my eyes, I know that it was desperate concern for me that made him risk everything to rescue me.
But now he and Alicia look as if they’re making up for lost time. He seems to be avoiding me, and I can’t really blame him after everything that’s happened.
I turn away, a lump in my throat the size of a golf ball. Why do I always get it so wrong? I’ve fallen for the wrong men all my life. And the one time I find a man who could possibly be my soul-mate, I screw the whole thing up . . .
It’s suddenly all too much.
I need to get home, away from everything. I can’t look at Rob laughing with Alicia a moment longer. Ellie and Jaz will understand if I just leave now . . .
I start walking briskly over the green, keeping to the other side of the carousel to where Rob and Alicia are standing. Apart from anything else, I don’t want anyone to see me with tears streaming down my face.
I only hope I can get the car out. That would be the very last straw . . .
‘Fen?’
My heart lurches at the sound of Rob’s voice but I carry on walking.
‘Fen, wait!’
With his long legs, he catches me up in no time. Taking my arm, he pleads with me to stop a minute. And as people are already looking over curiously, I decide not to argue. I’ll listen to what he has to say and then leave . . .
‘Where are you going? You can’t leave now,’ he says, an intense look on his face.
I swallow, avoiding looking into his gorgeous green eyes because if I know if I do, I’ll be lost. And then I’ll make an idiot of myself all over again. ‘Look, I’m tired. I just want to go home.’
‘Not yet. Just stay a moment longer.’
‘But why? Aren’t I keeping you from the lovely Alicia?’ I blurt out, glaring at him.
He studies me, a faint smile on his face. ‘Alicia has been a great help, actually.’
‘I bet she has,’ I mumble under my breath.
‘We’ve been cooking up a plan together.’
‘Oh, really? How lovely for you.’
‘She’s just managed to sweet-talk Barry into stopping folk getting on the carousel.’
I stare at him, puzzled. ‘And why would she do that?’
He smiles. ‘If you come a bit closer and unfold those arms, you might find out.’
I look up at him. There’s an odd vulnerability in his eyes. Tension in his jaw. He’s trying to be casual but underneath . . .
Shrugging, I take a tiny step forward but keep my arms tightly crossed.
‘Fen.’ He clears his throat, looks deep into my eyes, then looks away again. He gives a low growl and mutters, ‘I’ve never been great at speeches but here goes.’
I frown. What’s he talking about?
He clears his throat again and stands squarely before me, arms slightly outstretched. ‘Look, Fen, I know I can never hope to match up to the knights in shining armour from your favourite romance books. But there’s a white charger over there on that carousel that’s got our name on it. Fancy giving it a whirl?’
I stare over at the horse in question. It looks rather handsome, tossing its head imperiously, and the amber lights from the carousel are gleaming on its beautiful red saddle.
Everyone is looking over at us and smiling.
I glance back at Rob. ‘Is that why Barry’s stopped the carousel? Just so we can go on it?’
Rob nods. ‘I’ve promised him a pint or two in the pub later. Not that he took much persuasion. Shall we?’
Heart thumping, I take the hand he’s holding out and allow him to lead me over to the carousel. ‘Are we riding on the same horse?’
‘Oh, yes.’ Rob’s meaningful look sends a frisson of excitement snaking through me.
‘But what about the rules?’
‘The rules?’
‘Yes. Isn’t it supposed to be one person per horse? For safety’s sake. We don’t want a repeat of the – um – drama of earlier.’
‘You won’t fall off, Fen. Because you’ll be sitting in front of me and I’ll be holding you very tightly.’
‘You will?’ My head swims with longing at the mere thought of Rob’s arms around me.
‘I will.’ He gives me that knee-weakening smile of his and my whole body goes into a delicious melt-down. Bending closer, he murmurs, ‘When you’re hoping to sweep the woman you love off her feet, rules definitely go out of the window.’
He stands back to let me get on the ride first.
I’m about to step up. Then I stop. ‘What did you just say?’
‘The rules go out of the window?’
‘Not that bit. The other bit.’
His smile is a little sheepish. It’s a while before he answers because my eyes are locked on his, and the intensity of the feeling between us seems to be freezing this precious moment in time.
He takes a breath. ‘I love you, Fen. I think I fell in love with you the first time I set eyes on you. And every day, as I get to know the real you, all your little quirks and surprises, I’m falling in deeper and deeper.’ He shrugs. ‘I’m a hopeless case.’
I swallow hard. ‘Me, too,’ I whisper, my stomach lurching and my eyes filling with ridiculously happy tears.
‘Does that mean you’ve forgiven me?’ The trace of anxiety in his eyes tells me how important this is to him.
Sighing, I search for the right words. ‘Rob . . . I over-reacted. We were both idiots. Let’s put it behind us and move on?’
His face breaks into a broad smile, and before I know what’s happening, I’m being swept off the ground and carried onto the carousel.
Everyone starts cheering and clapping, and I hide my ecstatic blushes in the warmth of Rob’s neck, breathing in his glorious male scent and wondering if maybe I’m dreaming because this sort of thing only ever happens in books . . .
He lifts me onto the white horse then leaps up behind me. Laughing in disbelief, I look out at the crowd watching and spot some dear faces among them: Ellie and Jaz beside Sylvia and Mick, Maisie and Summer in between them. Maisie is sucking a lolly and pointing excitedly and Summer has a protective, sisterly arm around her shoulders. And there’s Mum and Dad, just arriving, walking over to join them. They’re all gazing up at Rob and me, sitting astride this wonderful painted horse, and the glowing lights from the carousel are reflected in their smiles of delight.
I blow them a kiss then I reach round for Rob and he pulls me tightly against him, murmuring, ‘You do trust me, don’t you?’
I nod, and as the carousel starts to move - slowly at first then gathering speed - I relax back against him, feeling safer than I’ve ever felt in my life.
The future sparkles like the stars up in the cloudless night sky.
Rob will never let me fall . . .