Chapter Eighteen
Shocked by Angus’s words, Lillianna stood almost dumbfounded and watched Allisdair and Angus’s youngest sister, Mari, hurry out of the room. Father Dunlap, who seemed rather nice, rushed out behind them, but Ross and Greer stood their ground. Ross stared at his brother while Greer glared at her. She wanted to dislike the woman in return, but it was clear that Lillianna’s presence made Greer feel protective and worried for her family. Lillianna admired Greer’s obvious love for her family.
“Do ye need me to stay, Brother?” Ross asked, his gaze shifting from Angus to Lillianna and then quickly back to Angus. Did the man think she held some sway over Angus? The thought made her sad because she’d never know. Not truly. He was aware of her powers now, so how could she ever believe him if he were to ever tell her he loved her? Not that there was a chance of that anyway.
“Nay,” Angus answered, “and I dunnae need ye to remain, either, Greer.”
“But—”
“Nay,” Angus said firmly. “I can manage one wee lass.” His gaze captured Lillianna’s. When his mouth curved in an inviting smile, she had a flash of memory of his mouth on hers, and a blush heated her cheeks to which he gave a knowing, appreciative look.
“Out,” he said even more forcefully, and to Lillianna’s sudden amusement, he fairly shoved his sister out of the great hall and then shut the door. When he turned back toward her, he was frowning as he came to stand a hairsbreadth from her. “If I touch ye will ye have a vision?” he asked, the worry in his voice surprising her.
“Likely so,” she said, “but I can try to control it. Why?”
“I want to touch ye verra badly,” he said. He sounded so earnest that she believed it was simply that. “But as much as I long to touch ye,” he continued, “I dunnae want to cause ye pain.”
His concern made her throat ache with happiness. “It’s not so very painful, but…” How could she explain that she did not want visions of him to invade her every time they touched? What if he wanted that? It would kill her to hear it. She bit her lip, afraid to say what was in her heart for fear of what she would hear in return.
He exhaled a long breath. “I would rather ye nae ken my future at all,” he said.
She sucked in a sharp breath. Was he telling the truth? Hope blossomed deep in her belly, and she pressed her lips together on the wish to ask why. She wanted him to explain himself. He moved to reach for her, then stilled and started to pull his hand back, but she grabbed it and set his large, warm palm to her cheek.
Light flashed in her mind. The images of her mother and ancestors began. Her body started to tingle, and the world around her started to fade. Her eyes began to burn, and she squeezed them shut, willing the memory of Angus kissing her at the river to the front of her mind. She concentrated on every detail she could recall, down to the way his tongue had curled deliciously around hers, and all her senses returned to normal. When she opened her eyes, he was there in this moment in time, not the future. She exhaled with relief, and he grinned, looking more carefree than she had ever seen him.
“Did it work?” he asked, his eyes so full of hope that she laughed.
“Yes!” she exclaimed. Before she could say more, his mouth slanted over hers. His tongue parted her lips and plunged into her mouth, sending shivers of desire racing through her. The kiss was hungry, possessive, and demanding and she gave herself eagerly to it—and to him. When he pulled back, she was panting, and he looked particularly pleased.
“What are we doing? What are you doing?” she asked more precisely, her emotions swirling within her.
He reached out and brushed a strand of her hair out of her face, and the look he gave her—possessive, primal, promising—curled her toes with longing.
When he didn’t answer, she said, “You said you would kill anyone who tried to take me from you. Do you still plan not to take me to the MacLeods?”
“Nay,” he said. “Ye will nae be going to the MacLeods.”
She had to fight to focus, his closeness so overpowered her thoughts. What was he offering? Was he offering refuge? More? Dare she hope for more? “Your sister is correct that I bring danger to your clan.”
“Aye,” he said, sliding his hand down her cheek and making her shiver. His hand stopped on her shoulder and cupped it, even as his other hand came to her other shoulder to do the same. “I’m prepared for that, and I will protect ye.”
“Why?” she asked, suspicion and hope warring within her.
“Because ye will be mine,” he said, matter-of-fact.
“Why do you want to make me yours? To possess me?”
“Aye,” he said, his look dangerously seductive. “I want to possess ye, nae yer powers.” The hope in her belly grew despite her inherent wariness. “I dunnae give a damn about yer powers. I want ye for ye.” He took her face and held it gently. “I want ye, Lillianna, because I desire ye so damn much I kinnae think straight.”
“You want only me? Not my powers?” she repeated, fearful she was mishearing him.
He offered a tender, understanding smile. “I wanted ye before I believed in yer powers, and if ye lost the powers tomorrow, I’d want ye still,” he said, brushing his lips ever so softly over hers. His tender kiss pulled a moan from her throat, and even though she tried to keep her hands fisted at her sides, she found them twined around his neck, her fingers locked together. “I want ye for ye,” he said again, as if he understood how very much she doubted it. “I wish to wed ye, Lillianna.”
Instead of feeling fear, hope filled her. However foolish it was, she could not suppress it or stop it. He wished to wed her. He said he wanted her for her. Did she dare believe him? She sucked in her lower lip, thinking back to their past conversations. “You said you did not want a wife. So why have you changed your mind? Do you…” She could not bring herself to ask him if he loved her, besides, the wary look that came to his face left no doubt he was not marrying her out of love.
Underneath her fingertips, his muscles tensed. “I’m nae proposing giving ye my heart, Lillianna.” Hurt and humiliation overcame her. She started to pull away from him, but he gripped her upper arms gently. “I will give ye my protection, my body, and my loyalty forever. Would that nae be enough?”
She stared at him, her mind turning. He was not vowing his love; he was not trying to gain hers. Of course, he did not need to as long as she wore the brooch, and he knew it. Yet for some reason, she believed that he wished to wed her to protect her and because he desired her. She should be thrilled, but she wasn’t. She had spent her life fearing love, fearing losing control.
Now, standing here with him, she longed to hear him say he wanted to win her heart, for she suspected he was close to doing so already. She was a fool to even contemplate wedding him, but Drumlan would come for her, and likely her uncle and father, too. And who else would try to take her when word spread that the brooch had been found? Was it not better to choose the devil she knew than the one she did not?
And what if she could win the heart of this particular handsome devil? Truly? Then she could freely give hers. What chance of that was there? She forced back the questions that battered her and focused on him. “If I wed you, what exactly is it you would expect me to give you?”
The way his heated gaze slowly raked the length of her body revealed what was at the forefront of his mind. His hands glided over her arms to her back, and he pressed her against him. “I want yer loyalty, yer desire, and yer heart.”
Cold air hit her teeth as she gasped. “You want my heart, but you will not give me yours?”
He nodded, his stare unwavering and unapologetic.
“Why do you wish to wed me, and do not just say to protect me. That is not enough for me,” she said. She needed to see hope for them. They had desire, but she felt deep within they needed at least the hope for more.
“Of course it’s nae just to protect ye!” he burst out and yanked a hand through his hair. “I want ye. It’s all I can think about. I desire ye so much that I’m driven to distraction. I kinnae think as I should. I kinnae concentrate as I must as laird. Ye are on my mind always now, and I must get control of it. Aye, I want to protect ye, but I also want to bury myself in ye again and again, and I dunnae ever want another man to have ye. Ye have taken a piece of me that I did nae wish to give, but ye have it now.”
She stilled. Did he mean a piece of his heart? She thought he might, and wild hope burst within her.
“And I kinnae imagine letting ye go now. I kinnae offer any more than that, Lillianna. I dunnae have it in me.”
She bit her lip on the desire to smile, for she thought perhaps he did, and in that, she saw all the faith that she needed.
“Will ye wed me or nae?” he asked, vulnerability glinting in his eyes.
Determination to claim a future she had thought impossible flowed through her. She would win his heart, and then—and only then—would she give hers. “I’ll wed you,” she said, and before she could say more, he crushed her to him and covered her mouth with a kiss that left no doubt in her mind that he meant to possess her body and soul.
“Ye must wear this to wed my brother,” Mari said, thrusting a beautiful gown at Lillianna, who stood in nothing but the clean léine Mari had let her borrow.
Wed.
The word reverberated in Lillianna’s mind, and she inhaled a long steadying breath, feeling the bandages that Mari had wound around her wounds restrict the air flow. She took shallow pulls of air, trying to calm her racing heart, but it would not slow. What was she doing? What had she been thinking? Her fingers fluttered to the brooch she still wore on the leather strap around her neck. She had vowed never to wed, and yet, here she was, about to do so and foolishly full of hope.
Fear that her hope would lead to heartbreak made her start to tremble. Mari’s eyes went wide, and she clasped Lillianna’s hands. Light flashed in Lillianna’s mind and her body trembled. The images of her mother and ancestors came, the room before her folding back as a new image of Mari appeared. She was standing next to Allisdair, and they appeared to be in a kitchen cooking. Lillianna’s eyes burned, and she squeezed them shut as Mari and Allisdair laughed in her vision. She concentrated on the memory of Angus kissing her, but the vision of the future seemed to only grow stronger. She could see the stark white of the flour, a smudge on Mari’s nose. A spoon clanking in a pot and the smell of fresh baking bread filled her senses.
She jerked her hands from Mari’s, and the vision disappeared. Mari looked at her with concern. “Did ye have a vision?”
“Yes,” she said, her voice horse. “I tried to fight it. I’ve been able to suppress them with Angus, but with you…”
“Ye kinnae?”
Lillianna shook her head, and Mari’s expression turned thoughtful. “Mayhap fighting the vision only works on yer true love.”
“I don’t love your brother,” Lillianna protested, leaving off the yet. She was foolish, but not that foolish.
Mari gave her a sympathetic look. “He cares for ye. He’s simply afraid to admit it, even to himself.”
Lillianna was grateful for Mari’s words, and while she too thought Angus cared for her, that was quite different than love. He desired her, he was honorable and wanted to protect her, and he had admitted that she had a piece of him, but she wanted all of him. That was what she needed in order to give him all of her.
“We shall see,” Lillianna finally said.
Mari nodded. “Does Angus ken that ye can control the visions of him?”
“Yes,” Lillianna said, a smile coming to her lips when she recalled his relief. “He seemed glad.”
Mari eyed her. “Ye seem surprised.”
“I am,” Lillianna said honestly. “All I have ever known of the abilities I would inherit is that they would bring me heartache, that men would try to use me to wield my powers. Your brother seems to want nothing to do with my abilities, and frankly, it’s refreshing.”
The door to the bedchamber squeaked, and Lillianna’s gaze flew to it. Greer was just visible through the crack. Their eyes locked, and Angus’s eldest sister narrowed her gaze on Lillianna and shoved open the door. Clearly, she had been eavesdropping, but Lillianna pressed her lips together on saying anything. The woman had made her dislike of Lillianna known, and she did not want to do anything to make it worse.
Greer breezed into the room and plunked her hands on her hips. “A relief?” Greer snapped. “Ye have distracted my brother from his duties as laird, and ye will bring enemies to our door, and ye are relieved that he will nae use the only thing that gives ye worth!”
“Greer!” Mari gasped, outraged. “Lillianna will be part of this family.” She gave Lillianna an apologetic look and held out the sumptuous, blue velvet gown.
Before Lillianna could reach for the gown, Greer snatched it out of her sister’s hands. “Ye will nae give her Mother’s gown to wear!”
Mari snatched the gown back and glowered at her sister. “Mother would be appalled by how ye are acting!”
Lillianna stood speechless and horrified watching the sisters argue. She didn’t want to intervene and cause Greer to become even angrier with her, nor did she want to stand idly by and watch them fight.
Greer shoved Mari in the shoulder and yanked the gown out of her sister’s hands. “Mother saved that gown so each of us could wear it when we were wed. She’d nae want some wench to wear it!”
“Greer!” Angus’s voice thundered from the doorway, making Lillianna flinch, as did Mari and Greer. He strode into the room, looking especially handsome in a clean plaid and braies. His wet, dark hair slicked back from his face emphasized his strong jawline, which was shadowed by a light layer of beard growth. He fixed a menacing glare on Greer, which made Lillianna sigh. She was certain to hate her even more now.
He stopped in front of Greer and took the gown out of her hands, turning to give it to Lillianna without a word. When his sensuous gaze met hers and their fingers brushed, her body tingled all over. “Lillianna is nae a wench, and ye will be kind to her. She will be yer family.”
“Nae my family,” Greer growled. “Mark my words, Brother. She will bring ye heartache, and then we all will suffer as we suffered before for yer mistakes.”
“Your brother has guilt enough for his past, Greer!” Lillianna burst out, unable to help herself. She refused to allow Greer to make Angus feel worse than he already did.
All three MacLorhs looked at Lillianna in surprise. Frankly, she was surprised with herself at how vehement she felt about protecting Angus. “I would never betray your brother or you, I vow it,” she said. “I would like to earn your trust, if you will just let me.”
“Ye want my trust?” Greer sneered. “Fine. Tell me my future. If I’m pleased with what ye see, then ye have my trust.”
“Greer!” Angus roared. “Dunnae ever think to use Lillianna for her powers or ye will suffer my wrath!”
Lillianna winced. Part of her was overjoyed that Angus had stood up for her and stated so bluntly that he would not allow anyone to use her, but she also did not want to be the thing to tear his family apart. She stepped forward and held out her hand to Greer. “Give me your hand,” she said.
“Nay, Lillianna,” Angus said, putting a hand up to stop her, but she pushed his hand away and scowled at him.
“If your sister wants to know her future, I will tell her what I see.” Maybe, if she offered this gift to Greer, the woman would start to trust her.
Greer gripped Lillianna’s hand, and their gazes locked. As before, bright light flashed before her eyes, and her entire body tingled. The images of her mother and ancestors rolled across her mind, and the room around her disappeared, revealing the future. Yet, it was not Greer she saw; it was herself.
She was in the woods, standing in a circle of men. In the middle of the circle, Angus and Belfaine danced around each other wielding their swords.
She gasped and jerked in confusion. Angus called her name, but he seemed so very far away.
Isla Belfaine stood in front of her with a dagger pointed at Lillianna, and then Isla spoke. “Move out of my way, Greer! I dunnae wish to kill ye.”
Greer held a dagger and stood slightly in front of Lillianna. Greer looked from Isla to Lillianna.
“I will rid ye of the problems she brings ye,” Isla said. “Simply step aside.”
Greer nodded, and black terror descended on Lillianna.
All the air seemed to be gone from Lillianna’s lungs, and she struggled to draw a breath. Then the feeling was gone. She released Greer, scrambling away from her only to collide with Angus. She turned her head to him, and he glanced down at her with concern in his eyes.
“Ye almost collapsed,” he said. “I had to catch ye.”
She nodded, her heart still racing, and looked to Greer once more. “What did ye see?” Greer demanded.
If she told the truth, it would divide her and Greer further. Should she try to lie? She knew what the legend said, what her mother had told her, but she had to try, and perhaps that future would not come to pass.
“Noth—” Pain, consuming, sharp, and nauseating, shot through her mind as if someone had sliced through her head with a sword. She swayed and would have fallen, except Angus grabbed her around the waist. As her power trembled within her, she frantically drew the vision of their kiss to the front of her mind and gained control.
When the intensity had subsided, she opened her eyes to find Mari and Angus staring at her with worried expressions. Greer, however, stared in fascination.
Angus brought a cloth to Lillianna’s face, and she had no notion where he had even gotten it. “Yer nose is bleeding,” he said, wiping the cloth under her nose. “What happened?”
She bit her lip. “I…I cannot deny telling someone the truth of my vision of them when I see it, and I tried,” she finished, looking to Greer.
Greer’s eyes widened in surprise. “What did ye truly see?”
“I saw you,” Lillianna said flatly, “agreeing to betray me.”
“Await me outside,” Angus ordered Greer, furious.
For once, Greer obeyed without argument and quietly departed the room. Angus guided Lillianna to the bed and then looked helplessly between her and the passage where Greer stood. He understood Greer’s fear, but fear did not excuse dishonor and betrayal. He had to make that clear, yet he didn’t want Lillianna to feel abandoned by him in her time of need or unimportant somehow and not worthy of his support.
“Go,” Lillianna said, waving a hand at him. “You need to speak with Greer, and I need to dress for the wedding. Mari will aid me.”
“Ye’re certain?” he asked, looking between Lillianna and Mari. Both women nodded. He leaned down and brushed his lips to Lillianna’s, the contact like an odd jolt to his chest. When he stood, he said, “I’ll set Greer straight. Ye need nae fear her.”
Lillianna managed a shaky smile. “Don’t be too harsh,” she urged, and his chest squeezed. Even after seeing a vision of Greer possibly betraying her, Lillianna was standing up for her.
He stepped out into the passage, shut the door, and waited for Greer to turn to him. She slowly did, guilt and defiance on her face. “If I betray that woman in the future, I’m certain she deserves it,” Greer growled.
“Listen to me, Sister,” Angus said, taking Greer by her upper arms. “I will nae ever repeat the mistakes of my past.”
“How do ye ken?” she demanded. “Ye are distracted by her just as ye were Isla, and soon she will be yer wife, and it will be worse! Ye will fail in yer duty to us because of her.”
“Nay!” he said, harshly, not wishing to have this conversation here at the door to where Lillianna was, nor did he wish to have it right before he was to wed. “My duty to ye and the clan motivates my every choice, Greer!” he growled.
Greer’s eyes suddenly widened. “Oh, I see. Clever brother.”
He frowned. “Clever?”
“Yes.” She nodded. “Clever, but…” She pointed toward the closed door of Lillianna’s bedchamber. “Ye need nae say more. Come. Let us get ye wed and”—Greer suddenly leaned close and dropped her voice to a whisper—“and the wench bound to ye and under yer control.”
He sighed. Greer did not understand at all. He took a deep breath to try again, but Ross came bounding down the passage. “Hector Fraser just arrived.”
Angus frowned. “What is Hector Fraser doing here?” Hector was Simon and Grant’s cousin, but Angus had never cared for the man overly much. There was something shifty about him that Angus did not like.
Ross chuckled, knowing well how Angus felt about the man. “Dunnae be so skeptical of him,” Ross said, clapping Angus on the arm. “He came in search of Alex.”
“Oh, aye?” That made sense given Alex told them that he purposely let Hector believe Alex was choosing the side of the English in the war, as he did not trust his brother not to accidentally spill the secret that Alex was working with Simon as a spy. “I’ll go make my greetings. What did ye tell him?”
Ross grinned. “That we saw his turncoat brother with Simon, and hopefully they were dead.”
Angus nodded, satisfied, then looked to Greer. “We will finish this talk later,” he said.
She inclined her head in agreement, and then Angus departed with Ross to receive Hector.
Not long after seeing Hector and relaying the same thing to him that Ross had, Angus stood awaiting Lillianna in the great hall. He glanced at his brothers and sisters, and the council members of his clan and their families, as well as his most trusted warriors. Word of him wedding Lillianna would spread fast through his clan, but he had given specific instructions for the information to remain within the clan for now. He would not tell the rest of his comrades, including Robbie, until he was certain who he could trust among them and who he couldn’t. It pained him to keep secrets from the men who had been like brothers to him for years, men he had risked his life for and who had risked their lives for him, but someone had aided de Burgh and Edward in getting the missive to Ross that lured him to Ettrick Forest, and until Angus knew who, he would trust none beyond those of his clan who lived in this castle.
He knew for certain that Robbie had not betrayed him, but Lillianna’s cousin had betrayed him and Robbie when she had plotted to send Angus into the woods in the first place. Telling Robbie so would be useless without proof, though. The man was clearly besotted with Elizabeth, and Angus did not trust that she would not somehow use Robbie to get Lillianna away from here.
“Angus,” Ross said in his ear. “Pull yer thoughts to the present, Brother. Yer beautiful bride just entered the room.”
Angus looked to the door of the great hall. A strange emotion flooded him when he saw Lillianna dressed in his mother’s blue velvet gown. She stood proud, his delicate yet strong lass, this woman who could see futures but not his, if she did not wish to. As she moved toward him, his senses seemed to crackle to life, growing stronger the nearer she came. When she stood beside him and he held his arm out to her, she took it, setting every part of him ablaze with desire and something else. It seemed a connection between them had been formed the day they had met, and despite him fighting it and her not wanting it, the bond had grown stronger. He could feel it now, pulling them together and binding them.
But he did not fear it, for he would control it. He would have this woman, and in doing so, he would temper the need for her. Yet as Father Dunlap looked at him and Angus said the vows the priest indicated, his chest grew tight with a deep ache. And when she looked to him and started to speak her vows, her guileless gaze locked with his, contentment unlike anything he’d ever experienced filled him.
“Angus, ye may kiss yer wife,” Father Dunlap said.
Angus blinked. He was not a man to lose focus, but Lillianna took all of his. She was a danger and a lure, but in this moment, as he took her in his arms and his lips found her eager warm ones, he realized she had also banished the shadow of guilt that normally haunted him, at least for the time being. All that haunted him now was desire, and he planned to satisfy that need as soon as possible.