Chapter Twelve
Angus drove them almost relentlessly the entire day and stopped that night to rest in a tavern, for Lillianna looked bone weary and he feared she would fall ill again. As he dismounted, he looked to her and Grant, who aided her in dismounting the horse she had ridden with him. Jealousy stirred, but Angus knew her riding with Grant had been best. After what had almost happened in the forest, he could not be so close to her until he was certain he would not lose control once more.
“Will ye see to a room for Lillianna?” Angus asked Grant, who had wisely not commented to Angus when he and Lillianna had emerged from the woods that morning. Grant nodded, though Angus could see the questions in the man’s eyes.
Lillianna had been unusually quiet all day, likely as numb with shock as he was that he had almost taken her innocence. She followed Grant, and as she passed Angus’s horse, her scent of wildflowers tickled his nose and filled his mind with memories of her lush breasts in his hands, her silky skin, her perfect buds, the way she made little moans when he sucked her breasts. Heat seared him. God’s truth, he needed a drink.
He quickly secured the horses at the inn stables and found a seat in the dark, nearly abandoned tavern. He was glad no one was at the inn this day. He could feel himself itching for a fight, and it would be foolish to draw attention to himself. A buxom blond serving wench sauntered over to him, batting her eyelashes. She leaned forward far more than necessary to speak to him, and he got a full view of her breast, but oddly, he felt nothing, which was surprising given the constant state of unfulfilled desire in which Lillianna left him.
“Can I get you something?” the lass asked, winking. “Mayhap some mead and me?” She offered him a suggestive smile. This was exactly the sort of lass he had bedded in the past, one who clearly wanted a tumble in the hay and no more, but tonight her invitation held no appeal.
“Thank ye,” he said, not wishing to injure her feelings, “but I’ve been traveling for some time, and I’m bone weary. All I require is mead.”
Her lips formed a pretty pout. “You’re certain?” she asked, brushing her breasts against his upper arm. “No need to fear I’ll desire more than this night,” she added with another wink. “I’m wed, but the rotten man cannot pleasure me proper.”
“I’m sorry for that, lass, but I’m certain,” he said.
Her pout turned to a scowl, and she frowned at him. “As you wish,” she grumbled.
As he watched her walk away, her hips swaying, Lillianna filled his mind once more. It was her hips he saw, her mouth in a pretty pout, her perfect body writhing under his. When the lass came back with his mead, he drank it down in four gulps. Two more meads later, he felt slightly less like a taut bow about to snap, but when Grant came strolling toward him and pulled out a chair, the tension returned to Angus in full force.
He gaped at Grant. “If ye are here, who is guarding Lillianna?” he demanded.
Grant’s eyes widened. “Does she need guarding? I left her in her room about to go to sleep.”
“Ye were in her room?” Angus growled, his hands reflexively clenching into fists.
Grant’s gaze flicked between Angus’s fists and his face. “I did nae enter the lass’s room,” he said carefully.
Angus blew out a long breath, realizing how unreasonable he was being. “I’m sorry, Grant.”
The man nodded. “If she’s gotten to ye so badly, I kinnae see why ye dunnae simply bed her. Clearly, the lass wants ye as much as ye want her.”
“I told ye,” Angus said through clenched teeth, “Lillianna is nae the sort of lass to bed and nae wed.”
“Then ye best consider wedding her. I’m fairly certain with the distracted state ye are in now, that yer enemies could easily fell ye, and I heard talk by two tavern wenches I passed coming in here that Belfaine stayed at this tavern last night with a group of his men. Is Belfaine nae yer enemy?”
“Aye,” Angus growled, thinking of Isla’s brother who was now laird Belfaine since Angus had killed the man’s father. Angus shoved back from the table, not wishing to talk about his shortcomings or Lillianna, and most especially not the fact that Belfaine had been here. If the man had happened on Angus earlier when he’d been caught up in thoughts about Lillianna, Belfaine could have easily taken Angus by surprise.
“Did the wenches happen to mention where Belfaine was headed?”
“Nay, but does he nae have to ride through Ettrick to get to his home?”
“Aye.” And with that, Angus dismissed thoughts of Belfaine. It was very likely the man had simply been on his way back to his stronghold. Angus had enough to concentrate on with Lillianna’s safety and warning Robbie’s men to add Belfaine to the list when it was, in all probability, a coincidence. “I’ll guard Lillianna’s room for the first half of the night, if ye will watch it for the second?”
Grant nodded as Angus rose to leave. He only got three steps away when Grant said, “I’ve nae ever met a man so determined to protect a lass that he did nae care about.”
“She’s my duty,” Angus replied, plain and simple, without breaking his stride.
Outside her bedchamber, he slid to the hard ground and crossed his legs and arms. He would conquer this constant desire, this distraction. Methodically, he began to recount the first battle he had ever been in, and then the next, and the next, and hours later, when he was finished recounting details of his battles, he thought upon the day he had failed his father.
By the time he had finished with that, Grant was there, relieving Angus of guard duty. Angus departed quickly and found a patch of nice, soft grass under the stars to take a respite. He closed his eyes, and it was not long before sleep overcame him.
But when he awoke in the morning, his first thought was of the green-eyed, brown-haired siren. He took a quick dip in the freezing cold loch, and when he returned to the stables, Lillianna and Grant were already there, mounted and ready to ride. Early-morning light shone on her, making her hair almost appear as if spun with strands of gold. Her gown was rumpled and there were dark smudges under her eyes, but his breath still caught.
“How is it that even in travel, even after sickness, ye are so blessedly beautiful?” he blurted, unaware he’d spoken aloud until her mouth parted, surprise crossing her face. Grant chuckled.
“You must have hit your head last night, and today it’s affecting your vision,” she said, a blush staining her cheeks.
He’d been hit, all right, but not in the head. In the groin by a gnawing, unwavering, all-consuming yearning for this woman.
He set them again to a grueling pace, which they kept the entire day and well into twilight. When they camped that night, Grant took over all duties having to do with Lillianna without Angus even asking.
The next morning, they started out at a gallop, but no matter how hard and fast he drove them, he could not outride thoughts of her. Images of them entwined in the forest filled his mind, and the same shock he’d felt after first almost taking her innocence blanketed him. If he had done that, if he had joined with her, there would have been no choice but to wed her, and the deep, troubling thing was that he found himself contemplating it, considering it. She had become a constant distraction. If he could simply keep control until he left her with the MacLeods… His entire body rebelled at the very thought.
He tugged a hand through his hair as they galloped toward Ettrick Forest through most the early day, and when the sun was directly overhead, the edge of the forest became clear. Soon they would be with Robbie’s men, and Angus’s obligation to them would be complete, leaving only his promise to take Lillianna to the MacLeods.
He stole a glance at Lillianna, who was situated in front of Grant on his horse. She sat stiffly, as she had every day. He wanted to halt them suddenly, knowing their time together was drawing close to finished. He wanted to bring her onto his destrier with him, wrap his arms around her, smell her, feel her.
It felt as if a tight band had been wrapped around his chest and was squeezing all the air out of his lungs. He could not let her go. The realization struck him hard, and he sucked in a breath. If he could not let her go, only one choice remained: wed her. As he saw it, he now had two main problems: he needed to figure out how to convince Lillianna to stay with him and trust him enough to tell him why she did not wish to wed, and he needed to remedy the problem of her being a distraction. Wedding her and bedding her would surely make it so his every thought would not be consumed with her. Satisfied that it would be so, he focused his attention on the looming forest.
Discovering Lillianna’s secret and convincing her to wed him would have to wait until after he warned Robbie’s men. He needed to be completely focused. The forest was thick, and therefore, an excellent place for enemies to hide. So if the king’s men had already arrived here, he needed to be aware at all times so he did not lead them to Robbie’s men or to get himself captured. His one reassurance was that Simon would be one of the men leading Edward’s knights, and Angus knew Simon would do all in his power to lead Edward’s men away from Robbie’s.
Looking at the edge of the forest, a blanket of silver and red leaves met his eye well into the air, and lower, near to the ground, thick shrubs were clustered everywhere. He raised a hand to slow them, and as Grant halted his horse, Angus removed one of his daggers and directed his destrier near Lillianna and Grant.
Angus held the dagger out to her. “Dunnae lose this again,” he said.
She scowled at him, and even irritated, she was the most beguiling creature. She took the dagger from him and put it in the holder at her waist. “I did not lose it. I left it in Donovan’s leg, and you know it.”
“If it’s nae in yer possession, it’s lost,” he said gently, wanting to make her understand his point without injuring her feelings. “Yer weapon could well be the thing that keeps ye from death. Guard it as ye would a limb. If ye stab someone with it, immediately extract it after turning the blade good and deep.”
She snorted. “My limbs are attached to my body, therefore much harder to lose.”
“Ye’re a cheeky lass,” he said, pleased that she felt so comfortable with him that she could be so.
She grinned, the first playful gesture she’d offered him since he’d nearly joined with her. He was glad to see the wall of ice she’d built around her was melting, especially given his recent decision.
She tossed her hair over her shoulder. “You see me as cheeky, and I see myself as unafraid.”
“Good,” he said, chuckling when her eyes widened in surprise. “Now—” he looked to Grant “—I’ll be making my way to Robbie’s men alone.”
“Why?” Grant demanded.
“Because,” Angus said evenly, “if the king’s men are in this forest, and they have nae found Robbie’s men, I dunnae want to lead them to our comrades. I can move with stealth much more easily on foot alone than with the two of ye. And,” he added, holding up his hand when Grant opened his mouth as if to protest, “I’ll nae risk putting Lillianna in danger. I wish her away from a possible battle. If it becomes clear there is a battle, or that I’m captured and we are losing it, ye must vow to me on yer honor that ye will take Lillianna and ride—”
“Angus, no!” Lillianna protested, but he ignored her and continued, keeping his gaze locked with Grant’s.
“Ye will take her and ride straight to my home,” he said. “My brothers will keep her safe. But if I’m killed, take her to the MacLeods.” They’d have more of a stake in protecting her than his brothers.
“I vow it,” Grant said with obvious reluctance. Angus knew the reluctance was born of not wanting to miss a battle, not reluctance to keep Lillianna safe.
“Let me and Grant come with you, Angus. We can aid you!” she protested.
Angus looked to her, knowing he had to be careful with what he said. He did not want his words to make her think she was a burden, yet if it came to a battle, she would be a weakness, a thing that distracted him, which ultimately made her a burden.
“Ye kinnae come with me,” he said, trying and failing to find words to smoothly explain why. Instead, he decided to opt for the commanding approach he often used with his siblings. “Ye will stay here,” he said and dismounted.
“You cannot order me about like some…some hound!” she snapped and dismounted herself. The moment her feet hit the ground, she strode past him and toward the thick trees with a glare.
Grant dismounted last and stood beside Angus. “She dunnae appear to ken she should listen to ye,” he commented, amused.
“Ye’re verra humorous,” Angus snapped, starting after her as she disappeared into the thickness of the woods. He was halfway to the spot through which she had entered when she screamed. As his own sword sang from its holder, Grant’s did, as well. Angus barreled toward the woods, shoved branches out of the way, and came to a shuddering halt. Lillianna stood with her dagger to his youngest brother’s throat.
“Allisdair,” Angus growled, moving between them and pushing Lillianna’s dagger down.
“You know this boy?” she asked, releasing a shudder.
“Aye, this is my brother. Allisdair, this is Lillianna,” Angus said, mussing his brother’s head of russet curls. The boy was fourteen summers, but he still looked more like a lad of ten summers, much to Allisdair’s frustration, and much to the delight of many of the MacLorh boys Allisdair’s age. They teased him for his small size, and he took the bait every time.
“I’m very sorry I held a dagger to you,” Lillianna said in a voice as sweet as honey. “You frightened me, and I had no notion you were related to Angus.”
Allisdair scowled at Lillianna. “Ye took me by surprise, too,” he said. “I was waiting here for my brother Ross.”
“Ross is here, too?” Angus asked, scanning the thick forest beyond him. “Then who the devil is acting as laird in my absence?” He’d left Ross in charge of protecting the castle and leading the clan while Angus was away.
“Aye. Ross is bossy as ever,” Allisdair muttered. “I wanted to go with him to locate Bruce’s men, and he threatened to whip me if I so much as moved from this spot. Can ye imagine that?” His cheeks reddened with his ire, and Angus sighed. Allisdair was his usual quick-tempered self.
“I can imagine,” Angus barked, cuffing the boy on the head.
“Angus!” Lillianna chided and moved protectively in front of Allisdair. “If you dare to touch this child again—”
“I’m nae a child!” Allisdair protested and thumped his chest. “I’m almost a man.”
Lillianna’s mouth formed a perfect O. “I beg your pardon. I thought—”
“Dunnae beg this miscreant’s pardon,” Angus said.
“Angus MacLorh, do not call your brother a miscreant!” Lillianna snapped.
Allisdair’s gaze widened upon Angus as he peeked around Lillianna. “Ye let this lady talk to ye that way?”
It made him damn happy that she felt brave enough and comfortable enough to do so, but he could not let that be known or his brother was sure to misbehave. “I’ll deal with the lady at a later time,” he assured his brother and scowled at Lillianna for good measure. She, of course, scowled back. “Why are ye and Ross in Ettrick Forest?” Angus asked.
Allisdair looked at him as if he were a clot-heid. “Because ye sent for us, of course. Ross received a message from ye last week, instructing us to come here immediately and meet ye where the Bruce left his men.”
“Christ’s blood,” Angus swore, meeting Grant’s gaze. “Ross has walked into an ambush!”
“Aye,” Grant agreed. “We best make haste and see how many men we can save.”
Angus glanced to Lillianna and Allisdair. They would be safer here than headed into an ambush with him and Grant, though the thought of leaving them alone twisted both his gut and his heart. He took a dagger out of a sheath at his right thigh, and then he stepped around Lillianna and held the dagger hilt first toward Allisdair. A proud look settled on Allisdair’s face as he took the dagger, as if he knew what was about to happen. His brother, with his keen blue eyes and cheeks still plump with the pudginess of youth, seemed to grow taller as he gripped the dagger.
Angus cleared his throat, which felt clogged with a swell of emotion, and gripped Allisdair’s left shoulder. “If I dunnae return, I’m either captured or dead.”
“Angus!”
He ignored Lillianna’s gasp. Time was of the essence. “Dunnae search for me. Dunnae let her, either,” Angus added, motioning to Lillianna and catching her gaze for one brief moment. It was wide with fright, and her face was pale as the moon. He feared she was just impetuous enough to do such a thing as charge into battle. Angus focused on Allisdair once more. “Do ye ken?”
“Aye,” his brother croaked.
Angus released a sigh, his mind turning with what else to say in the next few breaths. “Stay hidden until one of us or Ross returns for ye. Ye’ll ken it’s us by the call of the red bird.” Angus made the call to remind Allisdair, but the boy already knew. All his siblings had been taught this signal at a young age. “If none of us come for ye by nightfall, head for Fraser’s stronghold, as he is our nearest ally. It’s an hour’s ride from here, and the Fraser men will give ye shelter and help ye make yer way home. If ye discover that I’m dead and Ross is dead, however, take Lillianna straight to the MacLeods.” If he and Ross should fall, they would be better able to protect her than Allisdair, who would be a young ruler and at the mercy of the MacLorh council for a while.
“Simon Fraser is a turncoat!” Allisdair protested, then paled and looked to Grant. “I’m sorry to speak ill of yer brother.”
Angus impatiently waved his brother to silence. He’d wanted to let Simon tell his brother his secret, but there was no option for that now. “Simon is nae a turncoat. He has played the part, and done so well, in order to gain information from the King of England that will aid us in taking back our land.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Grant grin and then frown. “Why would ye simply nae confirm the truth before?”
“I did nae feel it was my place, but I feel ye need to ken it now, so ye ken for certain ye can trust him. He did nae want to endanger ye, and his betrayal had to be believable to everyone. It still does,” Angus emphasized, “until we dunnae have a need for him inside the king’s castle anymore. Allisdair, we must make haste. Guard Lillianna with yer life, Brother.”
As Allisdair nodded, Angus turned to Lillianna. No longer did she look fearful; to his shock, she looked determined. She set her palm to Angus’s chest. “I will guard your brother with my life,” she vowed vehemently.
He had a great deal he wanted to say to her, like would she wed him, but it would have to wait. Instead, he said, “I ken ye will, lass, but guard yerself, as well, and hold on to that dagger for all ye’re worth.” And because he could not resist the temptation, he reached out and tugged her to him, reveling in the brief feel of her soft body against his. Her lips parted with surprise, and he swooped down to kiss her. And it was no normal kiss. He possessed her mouth in those few breaths as he intended to soon possess her.
When he pulled away from her, she appeared to sway, and he turned without a word, motioning to an unusually quiet Grant to follow him into the woods. He glanced back once as the canopy of the forest swallowed them. Lillianna stood facing him, her fingertips to her lips and a look of happy confusion on her face. If he died this day, he could not think of a better image to be his last.