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Allie punched her pillow and tried for the hundredth time to fall asleep. Sleeping during pregnancy hadn’t yet been easy. She almost always felt dead on her feet by dinnertime, fell into bed for a few hours only to wake up for good by 3 a.m.

This time, the things keeping her awake were different. It wasn’t the impossibility of finding any comfortable position, or the worry about her ability to be a single mother.

This time, every time Allie closed her eyes, she saw Logan. She remembered the night she took him to her hotel room in vivid detail. She could still remember the smell of his cologne and the feeling of his razor stubble against her face when he kissed her. She remembered his smooth hard chest and the calloused texture of his strong hands as they ran over her body.

And then she’d remember what an ass he was at the airport and it would cancel out the rest.

She ran her hands through her hair in frustration and gave up on going back to sleep. Why did it have to be him? And why did he have to show up now and throw her entire world into upheaval? At Christmastime?

She was going to have a baby in a matter of days, and the last thing she needed was more anxiety in her life.

Footsteps sounded in the next room. It would eventually be the nursery, but at the moment, it was occupied by Logan Edwards. Adam had claimed the den, downstairs because it had a TV. It would have looked odd if she’d argued against that arrangement.

Logan was up and pacing. She shook her head, thinking about that. About Logan in the next room surrounded by her baby’s stuff.

His baby’s stuff.

She felt a little bad for him. She was sure this wasn’t the way he’d pictured his homecoming. He’d probably imagined another bar, another girl, another night of crazy sex with absolutely no consequences. For him.

She sighed. She hadn’t wanted him to find out about his impending fatherhood like this. She was planning to tell him. She’d tried to find him when she’d realized she was pregnant, and when that hadn’t worked, she’d called Adam’s ex-wife Riley. Riley was a private investigator who did not live in Big Falls, which was a plus.

Riley was good and she was discreet. She was also still on the case. Allie supposed she’d better call her and let her know that her ex had dragged home the object of her manhunt.

Allie had thought that by the time Riley tracked Logan down, she’d have figured out the right way to break the news to him. And you better believe the right way wouldn’t have included the phrase, It’s your baby, you idiot.

The baby kicked her hard.

“I might not have got off on the right foot with your dad, peanut.” She rubbed her belly and the baby kicked again. She had started trying to interpret the baby’s kicks, and she was pretty sure this one was telling her to go and fix things. There was no sense waiting to talk to him. They were both awake in the middle of the night worrying about it. Better to pull the bandage off quickly, right?

She forced herself to sit up, which was more of an effort than she cared to admit. Her movements couldn’t be described as graceful these days.

She’d seen a video once of an elephant that had flipped onto its back and couldn't manage to roll over again. She was pretty sure she looked similar to that. She pushed over onto one side, trying to gain enough momentum to roll upright.  It took a couple of tries, but eventually, she managed it. 

She crept across the floor, as quietly as an elephant can creep, and out her bedroom door. There, she waited, listening for noises that would tell her if her brother was awake downstairs. That was the last thing she needed. Adam used to sleep like a rock, but his time in the Army had changed that.

Allie’s home was a two-story farmhouse just off Main Street. She had bought it at a foreclosure auction a year ago, and ever since, she’d been working to fix it up and make it her own. Her bedroom and the nursery/guest room were on the second floor. Adam was staying downstairs in the den. She used to have her studio set up in there, but this year she’d rented space on Main Street. Excellent location near the park, super convenient for outside shoots.

She listened carefully. There were no sounds from the first floor, and she was reasonably sure that even if her brother was awake, he wouldn’t hear her tiptoeing around upstairs. If he did, she’d just tell him it was one of her nine thousand nightly bathroom trips. Ah, the joys of pregnancy.

She paced to Logan’s door and stood there for a minute, trying to get the nerve to knock. Her stomach flip-flopped and her brain started trying to talk her out of this. It was the middle of the night. This conversation should be saved for the light of day. She knew those were all excuses, that she was really just chickening out, but she didn’t care. She hadn’t even thought about what she was going to say. And obviously winging it wasn’t working for her. This had to be planned and done right.

Then the door opened and she was standing face to face with the man she’d been thinking about all night. Hell, for the past nine months.

His dark hair was wet and as tousled as a military haircut could get, which meant that it was lying flat in some places and sticking up straight in others. His blue eyes were darker than usual. That playful sparkle was gone, and without it, they were the color of midnight. He looked tired and worried.

She had the crazy urge to smooth his hair, to run her hand along his freshly shaven cheeks, but following urges like those was what had got her into this mess in the first place.

“Want to talk?” he asked.

All thoughts flew from her head. He’d taken a shower and the smell of his body wash hung in the air, clouding her brain and making her remember the last time she’d been close enough to smell that woodsy scent.

She cleared her throat and tried to ignore the fact that her face felt as hot as the surface of the sun. “Unless you’d rather wait. I understand if you’re too tired or something….” Her voice trailed off.

“I couldn’t sleep anyway.” He held the door open and she stepped inside. It felt weird. The once-cozy nursery seemed suddenly foreign. He’d only been occupying these walls for a matter of hours, but the room no longer felt like it belonged to her.

She crossed the floor and sat down on the edge of the futon. There was no point in small talk. They both knew what this discussion was about. She took a deep breath, and began. “I know this must be awkward for you, Logan. I didn’t expect to see you tonight, and I never intended to just blurt out the news like that. But it is what it is.”

Logan crossed the room and sat down on the other side of the open futon, but he didn’t say anything. The blankets were still strewn across the mattress, a clear indication he’d been tossing and turning as much as she had.

She didn’t want to look at the bedding, didn’t want to think about the fact that she was sitting a foot away from the bare-chested, sexy man who had fulfilled her every fantasy just a few months ago. And every night since. So instead, she kept talking.

“This must be a shock. I don’t blame you if you’re knocked for a loop. I was too when I first realized we’d made a baby. I’ve had time to get used to the idea but you’re still in the early stages. I imagine you have questions. I had a thousand.”

He cocked his head to one side. “I can only think of one, at the moment. Are you sure it’s mine?”

 She stared at him, blinked twice. “Ouch.”

“I’m sorry. That’s offensive. Rude. But on the other hand, I barely know you, and—”

“I’m sure it’s yours.” She didn’t give him details. He didn’t need to know her entire sexual history. Not that the list was that long. All he needed to know was that he was the father.

The expression on his face told her he wasn’t convinced.  He couldn’t doubt her word on this—could he? “If you have something to say, just say it.”  She was getting angry.

Logan pursed his lips, considering his options. “It just seems…convenient.”

 “Are you friggin’ kidding me? Convenient? I’m pretty sure if you had an eight-pound human sitting on your bladder and kicking your kidneys twenty-four-seven, you might not think convenient was the best description––”

“I just mean, we only had sex once—”

“Six times.”

“Seven, if you count that…um, but what I meant was, one night. We were only together one night. And we used condoms. It just seems… unlikely I got you pregnant. That’s all.”

“This was a mistake,” Allie said.

Logan nodded and the look on his face was so condescending that she wanted to slug him. “I thought so.”

She glared at him. “No, you moron. Trying to talk to you, that was a mistake. Inviting you to stay here, that was a mistake. You don’t seem to have the brain capacity to understand your role in all this, and that’s fine. Until you showed up today, I was prepared to do this entirely on my own, and that plan hasn’t changed.”

Logan held up his hands in mock surrender. “Hold on, you told me to tell you what I was thinking. That’s all I was trying to do.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t realize you were thinking stupid things.”

He smiled. “Do you realize how many times you’ve called me stupid in the last six hours?”

“Do you realize how many times you’ve been stupid in the last six hours?”

“Give me a break. I’ve been awake for a day and a half, and the first person I recognize on American soil tells me I’m about to become a father. It’s a lot to process.”

She took a deep breath and blew it out. This day hadn’t been easy for him. And it was probably natural that he’d doubt her. In his defense, she did hop into bed with him in record time, so he probably had no reason to think it wasn’t a regular occurrence for her. Not that she should be finding excuses for him. The man was infuriating. She took another breath and willed herself to get through the rest of the conversation and get it over with.

 “If you could try not to call me a liar for a few minutes, that would probably help the conversation along,” she said.

“I never called you—”

“First of all, as I’ve already pointed out, we had sex more than once. A lot more.”

“Yeah,” he said. A lopsided, absent smile pulled at one side of his mouth. “I didn’t even know it was possible to have that much sex in one night.”

“Secondly,” she said, trying to keep herself on track, “we did use condoms, but one must have broken or something because, here we are. And third, our evening together was on March twenty-ninth. Which means my due date is tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” he looked at her with eyes as wide as the full harvest moon.

“Yes. Tomorrow. But Doc Sophie says I’m not showing any signs of impending labor yet. First babies tend to go past the due date.”

“Wow.”

 “So, you’re right that it’s statistically improbable that during the one night we were together and using condoms I would get pregnant. But there wasn’t anyone else, Logan. Not for a long time before and not since. And it’s even more improbable that I’d run into you nine months later, on the eve of my due date. And it’s really freaking crazy that you turned out to be my brother’s friend who also just happens to be spending the holidays in my baby’s nursery. But guess what? It’s all true, so there it is.”

He didn’t argue anymore.

“I don’t have anything to hide, Logan. Order a damn paternity test once the baby’s born, and find out for yourself. Or you know, don’t. Don’t have the test done. Don’t believe me. It doesn’t matter. I don’t expect you to be involved anyway.”

For the first time since she’d told him the baby was his, he seemed like he might believe her.

“So…what do we do?” he asked.

“We don’t do anything. You hang out for the next two weeks and pretend everything is normal. I’m going to do my best to get this baby out of me and that’s it. My plan hasn’t changed. I don’t want, need or expect anything from you. I just thought you deserved to know.” She had been staring at the floor. Intentionally not looking at him. But she chanced a glance in his direction. The look on his face was hard and unmoving and she wondered if he was back to not believing her.

“What makes you assume that I wouldn’t want to be a part of my kid’s life?”

Allie shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe the fact that you’ve been trying to deny it’s yours ever since I told you. Or maybe just that you were trying to pick me up five minutes after we met. And when you saw me again at the airport, you went right back there. How do you expect to do that with a baby on your hip?”

“You didn’t exactly make the pick-up that much of a challenge. Don’t start judging me for things you actively participated in.”

Allie suppressed the urge to growl. But barely. “I was just trying to say, you don't have to feel responsible. You don’t have to be involved. You definitely don’t have to tell Adam. He never has to know. I’ve prepared for this. I can do this on my own.”

“Are you done?” Logan asked. His voice was tense and she could tell he was clenching his jaw. It wasn’t what she’d been expecting. He looked like a man facing his executioner, determined, resolved and ready to accept his punishment.

“Yes. I’m done.”

“Good. What the hell is wrong with you?”

Allie’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

“You just assume that I have no problem lying to my best friend? That I have no problem sitting here for the next two weeks, watching you carry my baby while I pretend that I had nothing to do with it? You assume that I’m going to cut and run just because you tell me it’s okay?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I somehow misconstrue the last fifteen minutes of this conversation? You know the part where you were calling me easy and saying the baby isn’t yours? Suddenly, I’m the bad guy for trying to give you a way out?”

“So shoot me for not wanting to be conned into claiming a kid that isn’t mine. But if this is my baby, there’s no way I’m going to abandon it.”

“Fine. You seem to have all the answers. What do you suggest we do?” Allie shifted on the futon and tried to hide her exasperation.

“Well, for starters, we come clean. We tell your brother the truth.”

“No!” She jumped to her feet. Jumped being a relative term.

“I’m can’t lie to my best friend, Allie.” He stood up, too.

“Fine,” she said. “You go tell my brother that you may have knocked me up, but you won’t be sure until you get a paternity test, because you’re pretty sure I indulge in casual sex with too many men to be clear about it. And then go back into a combat zone with him. I dare you.”

A look of worry shadowed his face. It was only there for a second, but she knew she had him.

“Adam will be pissed. There’s no getting around that.”

“Adam will be furious,” she corrected.

“But he’s a good soldier and a great friend. He’ll get over it.”

“Yeah, right after he kills you.”

He shook his head. “I have to tell him.”

“Uh-uh, mister. This is my baby, my brother, my life, and my house you’re standing in right now. We’re doing this my way, Logan.”

“It’s our baby,” he said softly.

“What happens when you get sent to your next base? What happens when you have to move halfway across the country or across the world and our baby doesn’t get to see you anymore? You might not abandon this baby on purpose, but we both know in the long run, that’s exactly what would happen. I don’t want my child to have to face that kind of heartbreak.” And she didn’t want to face it herself.

He sighed, pushing a hand through his hair. His eyes were dark and sad and Allie felt guilty for causing it. “People make it work. We could make it work.”

“We?” She almost laughed at the word. “How?”

“We could get married.”

The baby kicked hard. Allie sank onto the futon again, because her knees sort of gave out at Logan’s words. “I thought you were going to stop saying stupid things?” She sat there stunned, one hand on her belly.

“It’s not stupid. It’s a good idea. Maybe the only idea. You’re a self-employed photographer, right?”

“What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, that doesn’t really come with a guaranteed income, does it? Do you have health insurance? Maternity leave?”

“I buy my own insurance, and I have some money saved. I’ll make it work.” Honestly, her savings were pretty small, and her health premiums were breaking the bank and would go higher once the baby came. It had been something she’d been worried about for a while, but it was hardly a reason to chain herself to someone for life.

“If we got married, you would have all that. You’d have a housing allowance to help pay your mortgage, and insurance for you and the baby. Are you really prepared to do this on your own?”

If she was honest with herself, she wasn’t. She was absolutely terrified. Who wouldn't be? She was the family screw-up. She was the one who dropped out of college.  She was the one who failed chemistry twice and only passed the third time because she was dating her TA. She was the one who always, always had to be bailed out of tough situations.

No. That was the old me. I’m not that kid anymore and I haven’t been in a long time.

 She didn't want to be bailed out this time. She wanted to do this on her own. For her child.  “Are you really prepared to give up life as you know it and become a family man?” she asked, because that seemed like the reality check he needed to snap him out of his idiotic suggestion.

 A look of terror crossed his face and she said, “That’s what I thought.”

“Do you have a better plan?”

“A better plan than marrying a stranger? Yeah. Anything but that.” Allie closed her eyes. “My plan is the same as it’s been since I realized I was pregnant. I’m going to have a baby and raise it on my own and do whatever it takes to make it work. I see no reason that needs to change just because you showed up. Two weeks from now, you’ll go back to Afghanistan and I’ll go back to my life and we’ll pretend this never happened.”

He shook his head slowly. “Whether you marry me or not, I’m not going to walk away from my child.”

“Do you really want the responsibility of raising a baby?” Her tone was sharp, even to her own ears.

“You don’t know me. So don’t act like you do. What were you expecting from me? Relief? Gratitude at being let off the hook?” His tone was icy and the look in his eyes matched it.

“I know more about you than you think,” Allie said. She hadn’t put two and two together. Not until now. Adam had talked about his friend Edwards several times, and none of those conversations made her think that Logan was an aspiring soccer dad. “Adam’s told me all kinds of stories. I just didn't realize they were about you until now. Responsibility and stability don’t seem to be in your nature. You’re too busy charming women into jumping in bed with you.”

“Don't forget that you were one of those women.”

“How could I forget?” She looked down at her belly. “I’m the one living with the consequences.” Her eyes pierced his. She felt like she was playing chicken, and he didn’t look like he was going to back down.

“There are two things I never do. I never walk away from my responsibilities and I never lie to my friends. So yes. Whatever the consequences are, I’m going to face them. So, are we planning a wedding or not?”

“I wouldn’t marry you for all the gold in Fort Knox. I’m definitely not going to do it for health insurance and a housing allowance.” Allie took a deep breath and tried to be logical. “What’s my favorite color?”

Logan looked confused. “I don’t know.”

“What kind of music do I like? What’s my best friend’s name? Which side of the bed do I sleep on? You don’t know anything about me. You have no idea if we’d be compatible.”

“If memory serves, you prefer the left side of the bed, and in that area, we seemed more than compatible.”

Allie blushed. “That’s not enough for a marriage.”

“It’s a start.”

“Military marriages are impossible. Adam and his wife couldn’t make it work, and they were the most perfect couple I’ve ever seen. My sister Angie and her husband—” Allie’s eyes clouded with tears just thinking about it. “They were barely holding it together and then he deployed and didn’t come home, and now she’s raising two kids by herself. Even when you have something amazing to start with, there’s no guarantee. We’d be starting with nothing. I’m not willing to take that chance, and I can’t believe that’s my best option. Not for me and not for my baby.”

Logan’s face was hard as stone. “Our baby, and I can’t think that the best option is for me to abandon my child. I’m not willing to do that. Not ever, and I’m not willing to lie to my best friend, either.”

“You’re both going to be gone for the next three months. What’s the point in telling him now?” She held up both hand, palms up. “You can’t tell him, Logan. I’m not ready for Adam to know.”

If Adam knew, Allie was sure he’d be thinking exactly the same thing that Logan was. He’d be pushing marriage and he’d use guilt. He’d tell her to do it for the baby. It was off the table. She might not know exactly what she wanted out of life for her and her child, but she knew what she didn’t want. She’d always known she would never marry a soldier. She’d said it a thousand times. Never, never, never.

“Then you need to get ready,” Logan said, interrupting her thoguhts. “Adam’s my best friend. I realize that will probably end the second I tell him, but I’m not comfortable staying under the same roof as him and keeping this a secret. Much less spending the next three months with him in the desert, pretending I’m not the guy.”

“God forbid you do anything that makes you uncomfortable. You self-centered short-sighted, morally superior prick.”  She wanted to storm out of the room. She was trying to storm out of the room. In her head, she was already slamming the door in his face, but in reality, she was struggling to get off the futon. It would have been funny if she wasn’t ready to rip someone’s head off. Preferably Logan’s.

The hard expression on his face gave way to a tender smile, and he held out a hand to help her up. She slapped it away and pushed herself up to her feet, one side at a time, and straightened slow, holding back the groan of pain pushing up from her back.

“Like I said, I can handle the consequences on my own.” She strode out of the room, barely resisting the urge to slam the door behind her, because Adam would hear it downstairs. Once in the hall, she sagged a little, pressed one hand to the small of her back and rubbed hard. Leaning on the wall, she took a few nice deep breaths. Very unsatisfying way to storm out of an argument.

The spasm in her back eased a little. She was afraid of bringing it on again, so she only tiptoed angrily back to her own room.

 She didn’t know how she was going to sleep.