2 Days Before Christmas

Any day now. That’s what Doc Sophie had said after her internal exam. Any day now. But apparently, not today. Which was good, because Allie was going to a wedding.

 Her friend and mentor, Edie Brand Armstrong, had come down with a stomach bug and had to cancel on a wedding she’d planned to photograph today, and the bride to be had phoned Allie on the edge of hysteria. Nobody thought it was a good idea that she take on the job. Even Allie didn’t think it was the best idea. But the ceremony was out by the falls, and would be short and sweet, and if she could just get those photos, the young bride said, that would be enough. She had plenty of guests with cell phones to shoot the reception.

It shouldn’t have taken long, but of course, it did.

And it turned out that being around two people who were head over heels in love, while they said their vows with tears in their eyes, and sealed their promise with a kiss, wasn’t the best way to avoid thinking about her and Logan.

She barely kept herself from crying through the entire event.

She took a lot of beautiful shots, capturing emotion that would leap right out of the photos. But the entire time, she’d been thinking about Logan and the baby they were going to bring into this world any day now. And she’d been wishing there was something she could do to keep him from leaving in another week. Because she couldn’t be with him if he was going to leave her. And she wanted to be with him.

That was the conclusion she’d come to. She wanted to be with him. But she couldn’t.

So far, no solution to that had come to mind.

That wasn’t entirely true. A few ideas had come to her. She’d considered running him over with her car, or breaking his legs with a baseball bat. They couldn’t very well ship him back to Afghanistan if he couldn’t walk.

When she got home after the longer-than-planned afternoon, she parked her car on the side of the road in front of her house, because her driveway was full. Her parents were there. Angie was there and Adam was home, which meant she was going to have to go in and pretend that nothing was out of the ordinary, even though she felt like her heart was being pulled to pieces.

She plastered a smile on her face, climbed out of the car and walked inside.

Her house was full of laugher and noise, like it always was when the family was visiting, but when Allie walked in, she didn’t see a single person.

The sound of Christmas music and laughter was coming from upstairs, so Allie followed it up and into the guest room.

It smelled like fresh paint. Light and voices and music spilled out the partially open door and Allie pushed it open the rest of the way. And then her breath caught in her throat. The walls were freshly painted in the soft green she’d chosen. The crib was set up where the futon had been only a few hours earlier. The changing table had been assembled too, and now it held rows of diapers and stacks of baby wipes. A brand-new rocking chair sat on the left side of the room near the big window, with thick yellow cushions. Tiny Christmas lights had been strung around the ceiling.

She looked around the room from one person to the next. Her parents smiled at her from the window where her mom was placing curtains on the rod and handing them to her dad to hang. Little Jack was folding tiny outfits and putting them in the baby’s dresser and Cassie was unfolding them and holding them up and saying, “oooo, pwetty.” Adam was hanging pictures of happy animals on the walls, and Angie was just finishing up the fresh white paint on the woodwork. And there, in the middle of it all, was Logan. He stood by the crib, adjusting the mobile over top of it, and the look on his face brought  tears to her eyes.

“Surprise!” her mom said.

“What do you think?” Adam asked.

“This is incredible! Thank you. All of you.” She looked at Logan and hoped he knew she was talking to him. “How did you get this all done? I’ve only been gone a few hours.”

“Logan started long before we got here,” Allie’s mom told her. The paint’s still a little tacky, but we thought it was dry enough to add the finishing touches.”

The doorbell rang.

“Pizza’s here,” Adam said, clapping his hands together. The hungry hoard all but stampeded out of the room and downstairs to greet the pizza guy, leaving Allie alone with Logan.

“This was your idea?” she asked.

“I didn’t see how we’d get it all done without help, and Doc Sophie did say any day now.”

“I thought it was odd nobody insisted on chaperoning me today.”

“Your mother asked the mother of the bride to keep an eye on you.”

“Of course she did.”

He smiled. “Of course she did.”

Allie closed the distance between them and threw her arms around his neck. “Thank you.”

Logan lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her, and everything else, even the fact that her entire family was only a short flight of stairs away from them, just evaporated from her mind. She couldn't think of anything at all except for him.

Eventually, though, she ended the kiss, and stared up at him, knowing her heart was probably in her eyes. “What are we doing, Logan?”

He smiled at her, but his eyes looked sad. “We’re enjoying the time we’ve got. We’re basking in the moment. Like it says to do in those self-help books you have scattered all over this house. Look, Allie, I’m not going to be here to help you for the next few months. But I want to do everything I can to help you now. I want to be here for you as much as I possibly can be, until I have to go.”

And what about after that? The question jumped to her lips, but she pressed them tight and kept it inside. He wanted to be in the moment. What was so wrong with that? It was a pretty great moment. He was here. They were together. She was going to have a baby. And it was Christmastime.

Maybe she could be in the moment, too. Maybe everything else could wait.

“Okay,” she said. “Okay.”

And then the baby kicked hard, and he grinned, and looked down at her belly. “I think our child approves of your decision.”

“I think we’ve got a black belt on our hands.”

Logan let his hand trail over her abdomen and the baby kicked again. His eyes filled with wonder and joy. It was real. He wasn’t faking that. She didn’t really think he was faking anything.

Allie wondered how she was going to survive when he left her, and then she told herself there’d be enough time to miss him later. She didn’t need to start right now.

“Adam’s going to sleep at Angie’s tonight,” Logan whispered. “He’s giving Jack his gift early. It’s the newest Play Station. He says they’re having a gaming marathon tonight.”

“And…they didn’t invite you?” she whispered.

“There are only two paddles,” he said. “Thank goodness.” He kissed her neck.

She shivered all over.

“Get down here, you two! Pizza’s getting cold,” Angie called.

So they did.

Everyone left. They were alone. They sat by the Christmas tree for a while, just basking in the twinkling lights. And then they went upstairs together, hand in hand, and he never took his eyes from hers as they undressed each other and fell into her bed together.

            They kissed, and they touched. He made love to her without actually entering her—and she knew he was afraid he might hurt the baby. But it was beautiful, and it was blissful and fulfilling.

            And falling asleep in his arms was absolute heaven.