Chapter 21

Logan

 

        I was fucked.  I totally fucked it up!  My God!  I was up five thousand chips and I just blew it.  Mason’s not the failure.  I am!  I led us down this path.  I’ve ruined us!  I’m so stupid, I couldn’t even take a good deal when Kyle offered it to me.

        “Bro, what happened in there?” asked Dinkins standing by the kegs, sipping a beer.

        “Nothing.  I have to leave,” I said, pushing past him.

        “Yo, I think your girl is trying to get at ya,” he gestured.

        Faith came charging out of the frat house.  I tried to walk away, but she followed me to the edge of the quad.

        “Hey!   Hey!  Logan!” she demanded.  “Stop!”

        “Forget it, Faith,” I said as I continued walking.  “I should’ve just step aside for my brother.  I’ve ruined everything.  You should go be with him.”

        “Stop this.  Hey.  Stop!” she insisted and grabbed my arm.

        “I-I-I can’t get you the money, Faith,” I said.  “I screwed up.”

        “I don’t care about the money,” she said.  “I’ve never cared about the money.  I love you and your brother for you!  You tried to help me, and you didn’t have to do that, but you have to let me and your brother help you sometimes.”

        She looked up into my eyes, her light-brown eyes glowing.  I couldn’t take her gaze.  I was a failure.  I would just end up disappointing her.

        “I wish I could be the man you think I am,” I said sadly, looking away.  “But I’m not.  Who knows?  Maybe I have a problem.  Maybe it’s good that this happened.  I’ll be kicked off the team and forced to face my issues.”

        I took her hand off my arm and started to walk away.  She grabbed my arm again and pulled me back to face her.

        “Logan, you are the man I know you are,” Faith insisted, staring up into my eyes, her face determined.  “Your kind and noble and sweet.  You wanted to help me and you help your brother.  You took this all upon yourself.”

        “I’m sorry,” I said.

        “You don’t have to apologize, you just have to listen once in a while,” she said.  “It’s not a crime to consult with people you trust.”

        “I guess I have trust problems because of my relationship with my dad,” I admitted.  “I guess deep down, I expect everyone to abandon me like he did.”

        “I won’t abandon you,” she promised.  She reached up and ran her hand over my cheek.  “I love you and your brother!  I couldn’t live without the both of you now.  It’s like I almost don’t remember what my life was like before you and he entered it.”

        “How are we going to save your house?”

        “We’ll figure something out,” she said, pulling me down and kissing me lightly.  “Together.”

        “What am I going to do if I can’t play football?  It’s all I know,” I panicked.  “Business majors are a dime a dozen.”

        “You’re smart, you’re handsome---  You’ll figure it out,” she assured me.  “I believe in you and Mason.  Look at him!  A week ago he was curled up in a ball on his bed because of football.  Now he’s King Shit Touchdown!”

        “That would be an awesome nickname for him,” I laughed.  “I’m going to suggest that to the team.  See if it sticks.”

        “Just don’t tell him I came up with it, okay?” she laughed.  “I’m sure your parents wouldn’t approve of it.”

        “Oh, God, my parents,” I said, suddenly remembering.  I pulled away from her and collapsed on a nearby park bench.  “They’re gonna freak when they find out about this.  That I kept just spiraling deeper and deeper into debt!  They’ll put me in a rehab place for gambling!”

        “Logan!  Will you calm down?!” insisted Faith, as she sat down next to me.  “I’m here for you.  We’ll solve this!”

        “I have too many problems!  I can’t fix them all!  What if I end up dragging down Mason just as you solved his problems?!  I couldn’t handle that!  I couldn’t face the responsibility!”

        “We will fix it!” she insisted.  She put her hand on my back and started rubbing lightly.  Her touch felt soothing.

        “I can’t do this.  Too many problems.”

        “We can fix them.  You won’t face them alone,” she insisted.  “Come here.”

        She leaned in and kissed me.  I had kissed a few girls in my day, but this was different.  Faith had a way of kissing me that let me know she really loved me.  It was like the whole world faded away and we were alone, just the two of us.  Things got a little hot and heavy almost immediately.  Faith looked around and took me between two of the buildings.  It was the same alleyway that I forced her to hide in when Kyle walked by that time.  She pinned me against the wall and started to kiss me and undo my pants.

        “Fuck me,” she demanded.  “Fuck me right here in this alley.  C’mon, hurry.”

        “You’re crazy,” I laughed.  “I don’t even have any condoms.”

        “Then fuck me in the ass,” she said routinely.  “Only do it and hurry up.  Your brother took your place at the table back there and I’m not sure how long he will last.”