Once we recovered from Mrs. Little’s disappearance, we left Sandy to gnash her teeth and scream about bloody vengeance. Aunt Tillie’s giggles continued until we reached the end of a hallway, and when we opened the door and stepped through it we found ourselves in an entirely different location.

Landon was baffled. “What the … ?”

I tilted my head to the side as I studied the large living room. Just to make sure, I glanced over my shoulder and found the door we’d walked through seconds before was gone.

“Apparently this is a magical soap opera world,” I offered, pursing my lips. “Does anyone recognize this set?”

Thistle moved to a cabinet on a nearby wall and stared at the framed photographs on display. “No, but we’re in these photos.”

I moved closer, raising my eyebrows as I focused on a photo that showed Landon and me standing in front of a large building. The bricks were brown and as far as I could tell, it looked to be something of a communal apartment complex. “Hmm.”

Landon looked over my shoulder. “If we’re taking photographs together, how am I working undercover in this world? I don’t get it.”

“You’re far too practical,” Thistle said. “Soaps rewrite the rules whenever it suits them. If the writers kill off a character because the actor wants to leave, for example, then they simply bring him or her back through some contrived occurrence later if the actor decides he wants to return. It’s a thing. You need to get used to it if you’re going to adapt to this world.”

“I don’t want to adapt to this world. It’s a stupid world.”

“We still need to get through it,” I reminded him. “I’m sorry about this, by the way. I’m sorry you have to go through it.”

Landon’s expression softened. “Bay, we’ve been over this a hundred times. This isn’t your fault. Whenever this happens – and it seems to happen quite often these days – I don’t blame you. I need you to know that.”

“I do know that. It almost makes things worse, though.”

“How so?”

I shrugged, conflicted. “If your mother was doing stuff like this to us, I don’t think I would be as forgiving as you. I like to think I would be, but I can’t see how I wouldn’t get frustrated.”

“I’m plenty frustrated. I’m simply not frustrated with you. Aunt Tillie did this, not you.”

“I know.” I rubbed my hand over my forehead. “You still have a right to be angry.”

“Oh, I’m angry. I’m so angry at that woman I can barely see straight. But I’m not going to take it out on you. That’s unfair, and I won’t do it.” Landon moved his hands to my shoulders and started rubbing. “This is as hard for you as it is for me, but there’s no reason to turn on each other.”

I leaned into him, thankful for a quiet moment even though I knew the storm would return … and fast. “Thanks.”

“I love you, Bay.” Landon pressed a kiss to my cheek. “That won’t change because you have a crazy great-aunt. I promise.”

“I love you, too.”

We lapsed into amiable silence and stared at the photo.

“At least we look happy,” Landon said after a beat. “I still don’t understand how I can bring the woman I’m supposedly having an affair with – the wife of the man I’m investigating – to an apartment complex. It makes absolutely no sense.”

“You’re thinking about it too hard,” Marcus said. “You need to relax your brain.”

“Or transplant it into someone else’s head,” Sam suggested.

The lame joke caused Landon to smile. “It’s easier for you guys. You haven’t been smacked across the face, had drinks dumped on you or had your shirt ripped off multiple times. Aunt Tillie is purposely going after me in this one.”

“She always goes after you with a vengeance,” Thistle pointed out. “It’s one of her favorite sports. You shouldn’t take it personally. It simply means she considers you an official member of the family.”

“How do you figure that?”

“She always goes hardest after family. Heck, she made Clove a naughty nurse and gave me a really old husband to be mean. She gave Bay a husband who likes to pinch. She can’t help herself. To her, this is fun.”

“It’s not going to be fun when I get my hands on her.”

“Oh, I’m right there with you.” Thistle’s grin was evil. “That old biddy better hope I never get out of here, because if I do I’ll make her pay like she’s never paid before. If she thought the ants in the pants spell was bad, she ain’t seen nothing yet.”

“That’s exactly how we ended up here,” I pointed out. “She’s nowhere near done with us either.”

“That’s downright terrifying,” Landon muttered, resting his hand on my shoulder. “Okay, we’re clearly here for a reason – and I doubt it’s to look at photographs – so we need to split up and look around.”

Sam balked. “Are you sure splitting up is a good idea?”

“Are you afraid?”

“No, I just don’t want to miss whatever mistress you’ve got hidden in this place coming out and ripping your shirt off,” Sam shot back, causing Clove and Thistle to snicker while Marcus bit his bottom lip to keep from laughing.

“Ha, ha.” Landon grabbed my hand. “I don’t find this funny. While I know Aunt Tillie gets her jollies out of messing with us, I’m not a cheater. I don’t like it that she sees me that way.”

Even though I felt he was being a bit theatrical, I couldn’t help taking pity on him. “Landon, she doesn’t see you as a cheater. It’s just … slapping and drink throwing are soap staples. They happen all the time.”

“Yes, but they’re only happening to me in this world.”

“Because that’s the story she built for you. I’m sorry it keeps happening. I’ll try to stop the next one before she gets a chance to slap the crap out of you.”

“No.” Landon shook his head. “I don’t want you stepping in front of me. You might get hurt.”

“I’ve already been slapped.”

“And I’m ticked about it.” Landon gripped my hand tighter. “We need to figure out exactly what we’re supposed to be learning here. Stay together as couples but spread out. She won’t let us leave until we figure out whatever it is we’re supposed to discover while in this location.”

“While I agree that she wants us here for a reason, I’m not sure it’s to learn something as much as play out a leg of her story,” Thistle cautioned. “It’s not like the fairy tale world. There aren’t little life lessons knit into the seams of the narrative. This world is about her having fun. She doesn’t necessarily want to teach us a lesson as much as she wants to torture us.”

I hadn’t really given it much thought until Thistle laid it out, but what she said made a lot of sense. “She doesn’t always want to teach us. Thistle is right on that. Sometimes she simply wants to entertain herself.”

“And you think that’s what this is?” Landon asked.

I shrugged. I really wasn’t sure. “I don’t know. We need to be careful and look around. Even if she isn’t teaching us something, we’ll have to jump through the appropriate hoop to move on.”

“Okay, let’s do it.” Landon tugged me close. “Be careful. We have no idea what kind of crazy person is hiding here. Given what happened in the last scene, this one could be downright deadly.”

“WOULD YOU LIKE SOME tea and cookies?”

The woman Landon and I found when we entered the kitchen was a blast from the past.

“Edith?”

She turned, her smile pleasant and welcoming. “Did you say something, dear?”

“That might not be her name here,” Landon whispered.

I nodded, understanding. I hadn’t seen Edith in months. When I last saw her, she’d been a ghost. Technically, I never knew her as anything other than a ghost. She was a former classmate of Aunt Tillie’s who died young. Her ghost haunted The Whistler for years, but I finally sent her on her way after the truth regarding her death came to light.

I thought when I said my goodbyes that I wouldn’t miss her, and that was true. I was angry toward the end. Some of the things Edith did in life – the things that led up to her murder – were downright despicable. I was ready to wash my hands of her at the time, yet … I couldn’t deny it was good to see her.

“Do you live here?” I sat at the homey kitchen table and accepted the ornate teacup from Edith.

“It’s my home,” Edith replied. “I own the building and rent rooms to a variety of young men and women who are just starting out in life.” She winked at Landon. “Like Jericho here. Did you know he’s an undercover police officer working to take down a mob kingpin?”

Landon opened his mouth, I’m sure to say something derogatory about Jericho’s undercover skills, but I shook my head to silence him.

“I heard something like that.” I sipped the tea. It was good, warm and soothing going down. Whatever could be said about Aunt Tillie’s worlds, I could never deny there was a certain authenticity behind them that deserved admiration. “How long have you owned this building?”

“Forever. At least I think that’s how long.” Edith’s smile was bemused. “What are you doing here, Jericho? I thought you had a full shift at the mobster’s mansion today.”

“See, there’s no way an undercover officer would tell his landlady that,” Landon complained.

I patted his hand. “I guess it’s good that you’re not an undercover officer on a soap opera then, huh?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Landon rolled his neck until it cracked. “I came down with a bout of amnesia so I got the day off.”

“Oh, that’s terrible.” Edith wrinkled her nose. “I think I have a bottle of Amnesia Bismol around here. That should cure you. Do you want me to look for it?”

“Um … .” Landon was caught off guard by the question. “Sure. Why not?”

Edith’s faux smile never faded as she shuffled from the room. I waited until I was certain she was out of earshot to speak. “It’s weird to see her.”

Landon’s hand moved to the back of my neck, his fingers working tirelessly to ease the tension there. “Does it upset you to see her?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel. The last time I saw her … .”

“You haven’t talked a lot about that,” Landon noted. “I didn’t want to push because I figured it was hard on you. If you want to talk about it, though, I’m here.”

“You’re always here.” I sent him a warm smile. “I don’t know how I feel about it. It seems somehow pointed that Aunt Tillie used her for this world, though, doesn’t it? Do you think it’s a dig at me?”

“Actually, I think it’s the opposite.”

“You do?”

Landon nodded. “I think Aunt Tillie probably wanted you to see Edith in a quiet environment.”

“What if Edith turns out to be evil?”

“Then I’ll have to readjust my thinking.”

“Fair enough.”

We lapsed into silence when we heard feet shuffling, and when Edith returned she was empty-handed.

“I could’ve sworn I had a bottle around, but I can’t seem to find it,” Edith supplied. “You might want to check your room, Jericho. I think you were the last one to use it three weeks ago when you had that bout of amnesia after falling off a bridge.”

Landon’s mouth dropped open. “I fell off a bridge?”

“Well, you were saving the woman you love from certain death thanks to a car bomb.” Edith sent me a fond smile. “You were a hero. You didn’t even seem to mind the amnesia.”

“Oh, well, that sounds … plausible.” Landon made a face. “I don’t suppose you could point me in the direction of my room, could you?”

Even though he was supposed to have amnesia, that seemed an odd request. “I’m sure we can find it ourselves.”

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous.” Edith waved off my worry. “That’s what I’m here for. As a woman of a certain age, my only reason for living is to act as a sounding board to those who are younger than me. It’s normal in Camelot Falls. Your room is the second on the left, Jericho. The stairs are right over there.”

“Thanks.” Landon drew me to my feet. “I’ll bring the bottle back down if we find it.”

“That sounds lovely.”

I paused at the door, casting a glance over my shoulder and watching as Edith happily drank her tea, seemingly unbothered by … well … everything. “I know you won’t really hear this, but I guess I’ve wanted to say it for a bit.”

Edith looked intrigued. “And what’s that, dear?”

“I’m not sorry I sent you away. I am sorry things were so bad for you at the end, though. I hope … I hope you found peace on the other side.”

“I’m sure I did, dear. You shouldn’t trouble yourself over such things. It makes you a kvetch, and nobody likes a kvetch.”

The corners of my mouth tipped down. “Right. Well, have a good afterlife.”

“Yes, yes. Enjoy your trip upstairs, dear.”

This time when I turned my back on Edith I did it with a clearer conscience. Sure, it wasn’t her, but I didn’t feel the weight of my actions dragging me down. It was better.

“I guess this trip wasn’t a total loss, huh?” Landon smiled as he led me to the second floor. “You got a little closure. That’s good.”

“I guess it is.”

I followed Landon to the room Edith indicated, and when he opened the door I couldn’t stop my laughter from bubbling up. Landon’s expression revealed a mixture of fury and amazement as he scanned the room.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

I don’t know what I expected. In the back of my mind I thought it would be a simple room with a bed. Instead I found a round bed with a furry pink comforter, a power ballad emanating from … somewhere, and a centered disco ball swirling hundreds of hearts across the purple walls. The room looked like something straight out of a porn shoot.

“What a passion pit,” I complained.

Landon took a step forward, his eyes bouncing from one side of the room to the other. “Can you believe this? Who would put a disco ball over their bed?”

“Someone who obviously gets a lot of action.” I shuffled to the bed and touched the furry comforter. “This is kind of … neat. I bet it’s like sleeping on top of the world’s fluffiest pillow.”

“It’s pink.”

“Well, you are a lothario in this world.”

“Which I still don’t like,” Landon grumbled, glaring at the radio on the bookshelf when the song changed. “Criminy. Is that Nickelback again? As if things aren’t bad enough.”

“It’s another power ballad.”

“So?”

“So … this is a soap.”

“So?”

He wasn’t getting it and I wasn’t sure how in depth I wanted to go. “Soaps are many things, Landon.” I chose my words carefully. “First and foremost, they’re about love in the afternoon.”

Landon furrowed his brow, his face going dark before realization dawned and he widened his eyes. “You can’t be serious.”

“It’s a seduction. We could hardly get through the world without … you know.”

Landon remained unconvinced. “Aunt Tillie is watching.”

“She is, but she’s not a pervert. She won’t watch this. She simply wants to lead us to this.”

“I’m not doing it in front of her.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him the odds of us “doing it” were small. I simply knew I needed to get him in the mood to at least pretend we were going to hit the sheets. “I don’t think we have much say in the matter.”

“Oh, I have a choice.” Landon crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s not happening, Bay. There’s absolutely nothing you can do to entice me to climb on that bed. Absolutely nothing.”

“I bought bacon-scented bubble bath.”

Landon pursed his lips. “Fine. If she sees, though, I’m going to blame you.” He strode toward the bed and cupped the back of my head, the music ratcheting up a notch.

“That was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be to convince you.” I was a bit breathless and my heart pounded. “I have no idea why I’m so lightheaded.”

“It’s the room.” Landon was resigned. “It’s making us do this. There can be no other explanation.”

“Is that your excuse?”

“Yup.”

“Okay.”

Landon leaned closer. “Prepare yourself. I think this is going to be something special.”

I didn’t get a chance to respond, because he slammed his lips against mine and tumbled me to the bed before I could find the appropriate words.

Love in the afternoon indeed.

“THAT WAS LITERALLY THE worst thing that ever happened to me!” Landon bellowed as he glared at the wall ten minutes later.

I absently patted his arm. “You’re okay.” Unlike him, I believed I knew what was going to happen before the main event … and I wasn’t wrong.

“I’m okay? We basically just had a heavy petting session with Nickelback music. Then, at the moment we were supposed to … you know … the room faded to black and then we were back without music and romance. It was as if an invisible force threw a bucket of cold water on us. What’s that about?”

I worked overtime to maintain my amusement. “It’s a soap, Landon. It’s not porn. There’s no actual sex on a soap. There’s just a music montage and then the moment after. That’s how things work.”

“I’m filing a complaint.”

“With who?”

“Oh, I’ll find someone.”

All I could do was nod. “Okay, but I think we should head back downstairs. I’m guessing we all had an occurrence like this, and we’re about to head to our next adventure.”

“I’ve been traumatized,” Landon complained, groaning as he got to his feet. “This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I know I said it before, but I really meant it, so I’m saying it again.”

“You’ve been shot.”

“It was still worse.”

“I’ll have to take your word for it.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll let you forget this.”

I had no doubt he was telling the truth.