Eden was beyond conversation and her need to rub Landon’s shirt over her face and chest was downright disturbing. Landon finally gave up trying to reclaim his clothing – it was beyond repair anyway – and focused on our next issue.

“I’m not doing it,” Sam announced. “I don’t care what you think, what you expect or how much you beg … it’s simply not going to happen.”

“We still have to go to the hospital,” Landon said, folding his arms over his chest as he attempted to cover his bare skin. He was clearly uncomfortable. “You wouldn’t have gotten the call unless we were supposed to go there next.”

“Yes, but I’m a brain surgeon on weekends,” Sam said. “That’s what that clip show thing said. They called me for brain surgery. There’s no way I’m doing that.”

“I doubt very much you’re going to have to do it,” I supplied. “It’s a soap opera, not a medical show. They never show the nitty-gritty on a soap opera. At most they’ll show a couple close-ups of your face. There’s no way anyone is going to put a scalpel in your hand.”

Sam wasn’t convinced. “I’m not doing it.”

Landon held up his hands to stave off an argument. “You’re not going to have to perform surgery. I can virtually guarantee that. We still need to head to the hospital.”

Sam wasn’t about to be placated. “I’m not doing surgery.”

“And I’m sick of hearing you say that.” Landon put a hand to my elbow to direct me toward the opposite end of the dock. “Let’s get going.”

“How do you know that’s the right direction?”

“Because the only thing in that direction is Zeton and I have no intention of going back there.”

“Fair enough.” I fell into step with him, refusing to look over my shoulder to make sure everyone else followed. I figured they were on their own if they chose to separate. The only one I was determined to stay close to was Landon. I’d never been lost in one of Aunt Tillie’s worlds without him – at least not for an extended period – and I wasn’t about to start now.

“Do you want to tell me what you’re thinking?” Landon’s voice was soft.

“I’m not sure what I’m thinking. It’s a lot to process.”

“Yeah, that’s not going to work on me.”

“Well, for starters, I think it’s funny that you’re covering your chest that way. It’s not as if anyone is staring at your nipples or anything.”

Landon made a derisive snort in the back of his throat. “I feel exposed.”

“We’re not really on television. You’re okay.”

Landon reluctantly dropped his arms, although he didn’t look thrilled with his decision. “I’m starting to think Aunt Tillie is crazy because she watches soap operas. When I first met her I thought she was confused because of old age. After knowing her a bit I assumed it was because she simply liked being crazy. Now I think it’s the soap operas making her wonky. I’m going to ban her from watching them if we ever get out of here.”

It was a somber moment, but I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. “She’s not crazy. She only wants people to think she’s crazy. She’s smarter than almost everyone I know.”

“Is that saying much?”

“I was including you in the group.”

“Ha, ha.” Landon poked my side. “You haven’t said much about what just happened. Are you still … upset?”

“Upset?” I cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t know if ‘upset’ is the word. I was surprised more than anything else.”

Landon snorted. “Bay, if you were a cat you would’ve started hissing when you saw her. Your back would’ve arched and you would’ve made that snarling sound cats make while preparing themselves to claw their enemies to death.”

“I think you’re exaggerating.”

“And I think it was kind of funny.”

“You didn’t think it was funny when Michael pinched my butt.”

“Because that was weird.”

“And that woman rolling around on the dock and rubbing her face against your shirt as if she’s a dog and memorizing your scent, that’s normal?”

“Well, when you phrase it like that … .” Landon’s smile was sheepish when he spared me a look. “Bay, you can’t let this stuff get to you. I know it’s hypocritical for me to say given how I reacted with the happy butt pincher, but it’s true. Aunt Tillie wants us to overreact. We need to remain calm.”

“That’s easier said than done.” I glanced over my shoulder and found Clove and Sam trailing us, Clove’s hand on her boyfriend’s arm as she attempted to soothe him. I adjusted my tone. “We’d better hope he’s not really expected to perform surgery.”

“I was just thinking the same thing.”

“NO!”

Sam was beside himself when the hospital’s chief of staff, who just happened to look a lot like Clove’s father Warren, met us at the front door of the facility.

“We don’t have much time.” Warren grabbed Sam’s arm and tugged him forward. “We need you. We need your gift.”

“Absolutely not!” Sam’s eyes were wild with fear. “I refuse.”

“You must.” Warren didn’t back down. “The man’s life is in danger. He won’t last long. He’s already overcome so much.”

“I don’t really care if he’s overcome a pack of zombies,” Sam fired back. “I’m not doing it.”

“You don’t understand,” Warren pressed. “It’s Flynn Warfield. He’s a celebrity in the field of metaphysical belief systems.”

Landon and I exchanged a weighted look. Landon cleared his throat to get Warren’s attention. “Flynn Warfield?”

Warren nodded. “Then you’ve heard of him?”

“A little something here and there,” Landon replied. “I have no idea what a metaphysical belief system is, but I’ve heard of Flynn.” He shifted his eyes to Sam. “I believe you have to do the surgery.”

Sam’s expression was murderous. “No means no!”

“Oh, you’re such a kidder.” Warren gave Sam’s shoulder a good squeeze. “You’re the best weekend brain surgeon that we have. This man will die without you.”

“That’s kind of exciting.” Clove’s eyes sparkled. “I always wondered what it would be like to date a doctor.”

If looks could kill, Sam would’ve struck his beloved dead with a single glare. “You’re on my list, Clove,” he announced. “You’re right at the top. You’re even beating out Aunt Tillie right now.”

“That’s a little sad,” Thistle noted. “I guess you’re even more of a kvetch than we realized, huh?”

“I’ll make you eat soap opera dirt if you’re not careful,” Clove shot back. “I bet it’s even grosser than real dirt. That’s how Aunt Tillie does things.”

Thistle apparently thought the threat had weight, because she wisely shut her mouth. That didn’t mean I could.

“I think you have to do the surgery, Sam,” I prodded. “We need that diamond, and if Flynn is in surgery … .”

Sam realized what I was getting at … and he apparently didn’t like it. “You want me to try to steal a diamond from him while I’m conducting surgery?”

“Do you have a better idea?”

Sam’s mouth moved, but no sound came out. It was almost as if he was talking silently to himself. Finally, he regrouped enough to utter a sentence. “You just took Clove’s spot on top of my list.”

“Yay!” Clove clapped her hands. “I didn’t like being at the top of your list. This is so much better.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Sam rolled his eyes, cringing when he realized Warren was watching him. “Why are you still here?”

“I’m waiting for you.” Warren wasn’t letting up. Sam seemed to finally realize that, because he looked resigned. “We need to get moving now.”

“Fine.” Sam scratched at an invisible itch on the side of his nose. “I’ll do brain surgery. That seems to be the only way out of this. So, I will do it. I’ll be a brain surgeon on weekends.”

“You’re so strong, honey.” Clove patted his arm. “I’ve never been more proud of you than I am right now.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better, Clove,” Sam snapped.

“We’ll need you, too, Cinder,” Warren added, turning to Clove.

“Me?” Clove’s features turned white. “Why would you need me?”

“You’re a weekend nurse.”

“But … .” Clove looked panicked. “I can’t be a nurse. I most certainly can’t sit through surgery. You know how I feel about blood.”

“This must be one of the other personalities talking,” Warren noted. “That’s okay. We thought ahead for when this happened. Each personality passed the nursing exam, so you’re good to go.”

“What?” Clove was flabbergasted. “No way. Uh-uh. Not gonna happen.”

“Oh, now it’s a big deal,” Sam intoned. “It wasn’t a big deal when it was me. Now that it’s you, though … .”

“I thought Clove was a naughty nurse,” Thistle argued. “That’s not like a real nurse. It’s more like on Halloween when I was a naughty stewardess and I helped Marcus stow his luggage in the overhead compartment.”

“Don’t be gross,” Landon barked, pressing his eyes shut.

“I concur.” Warren’s smile never wavered as he focused on Clove. “We need both of you to save a man’s life. You can’t turn your back on something like that, can you?”

Clove was morose. “I guess not.” She darted a hateful look in my direction. “I’m not sure how yet, but I’m almost positive this is your fault. Thistle’s, too. When this is over, I’m going to make you both eat so much dirt you’ll choke to death.”

For lack of anything better to do, I offered up a sarcastic salute. “Good luck. May fortune favor the foolish … and brave.”

Clove narrowed her eyes to dangerous slits. “You’re dead to me.”

LANDON FOUND A SHIRT in the lost-and-found box. It featured a cat with a pretty pink bow. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing when I saw it.

“Don’t say a word,” Landon warned, turning his attention to Thistle and Marcus. “Have you heard anything on the surgery?”

“They’ve been gone like twenty minutes,” Marcus replied. “You can’t perform brain surgery in twenty minutes.”

“It’s a soap,” Thistle reminded him. “You can do anything in twenty minutes on a soap.”

“Including being a brain surgeon on weekends. I … .” I had no idea what I was going to say. I’m sure it would’ve been pithy and bright, though. I lost my train of thought when I saw the woman in the nurse’s uniform crossing to us. She had a certain edge that wouldn’t let me look away.

Much like Eden, she was tall, thin and busty. I knew before she opened her mouth that she was coming for Landon. Her flirty gaze and swishing hips were distinct clues.

“Jericho.” She didn’t acknowledge the rest of us before sliding her hand into Landon’s hair and pressing her mouth to his.

To his credit, Landon immediately pushed her back. “What are you doing?” he sputtered.

“I’ve been waiting for your call for a week,” the nurse said, her bottom lip jutting into the perfect pout. “You were supposed to call me. This is not how you treat the woman you’re going to propose to once you’re done working undercover.”

“Ooh, soap Landon is a total tool,” Thistle supplied, smirking. “I should’ve seen that coming.”

“Jericho is a tool,” Landon corrected, doing his best to keep the nurse from stroking her hands over his chest. “Jericho is not me.”

“Of course you’re Jericho,” the nurse countered. “We’ve been together for a year.”

“Yeah, well … .” Landon licked his lips and looked at me. “Do you want to help?”

“Far be it from me to get between you and your fiancée.”

“Knock it off. This isn’t my fault.”

“No, but it’s still irritating.”

“Fine.” Landon’s eyes fired as he turned back to his randy nurse. “Listen … um … what is your name?”

“You don’t know my name?” The nurse was incensed.

“He has a head injury,” Marcus offered helpfully. “He has partial amnesia.”

Landon made a growling sound. “Like she’s going to believe that.”

“It’s a soap.”

“You have amnesia?” The nurse’s voice turned soft. “My poor baby!” She grabbed Landon’s head and pressed it to her ample breasts. “I’ll take care of you. I’ll make you remember me if it’s the last thing I do. We’ll fall in love all over again.”

“Oh, geez.” Landon struggled to pull away, although he didn’t quite manage it. Part of me couldn’t help but wonder if he was putting his full strength behind the effort.

“My name is Summer Glade,” the nurse announced. “We’ve been in love since the moment we locked eyes across a smoky bar.”

“A lovely story,” Thistle said. “Just out of curiosity, did you sleep together the first night you met?”

“Of course.” Summer’s expression didn’t shift. “I told you, it was love at first sight. We even got a great song for the big montage at the end. I just can’t remember the name of it. I believe it was by Nickelback.”

Landon groaned. “What does she mean about the song?”

“On a soap you always get a song for sex,” I explained, my tone icy as I glared. Landon’s head was still pressed against Summer’s chest and he’d ceased struggling. “It’s like a montage. By the way, are you trying to see if you can hear the ocean in those things?”

“What?” Landon furrowed his brow. “Oh.” He gathered his strength for a final push and jerked away, raising a hand when Summer reached for him a second time. “Don’t! I have amnesia. You’re making me uncomfortable.”

“I bet you’re glad I gave you that story, huh?” Marcus winked as Landon scowled. “I’m starting to get this world.”

“And Landon still isn’t,” Thistle said. “It’s kind of funny.”

“You’re all on my list,” Landon said. “I won’t forget this.”

“I thought you forgot everything,” Summer challenged. “Isn’t that why you don’t remember me?”

“Do you know what I don’t get,” I offered. “Why do you have fiancées all over this place? Who has more than one fiancée?”

“We’re not engaged yet,” Summer corrected. “He’s going to propose once his undercover assignment is completed.”

“I must not be very good at the undercover thing if everyone knows what I’m doing,” Landon noted.

“No, honey bunny, you’re the best.” Summer grasped at Landon’s head again, but he smoothly sidestepped her.

“Knock that off!” Landon extended a warning finger. “I’m not your honey bunny. I’ll never be your honey bunny.”

“Excuse me?” Summer turned shrill as she planted her hands on her hips. “If you’re not my honey bunny, whose honey bunny are you?”

Landon jerked a thumb in my direction. I totally should’ve seen that coming, by the way. “I’m her honey bunny. Er, well, she’s my sweetie. It doesn’t really matter. I’m not going to marry you.”

“Oh, really.” Summer narrowed her eyes until they were nothing but glittering strips of hatred. “Are you breaking up with me?”

“I guess I am.”

“Well then.” Summer took two deliberate steps forward, grabbed the front of Landon’s shirt before he could slap away her hands, and tugged as hard as she could. The shirt, which should’ve held together better, ripped down the center, and Summer gripped the tattered remains in her fist as she began to vibrate with anger. “You’ll be sorry you did this! I’ll make you sorry.”

Landon, his face awash with disbelief, stared down at his bare chest. “Again? How did this happen again?”

Thistle was laughing so hard she bent at the waist, resting her hands on top of her knees. “Oh, this is freaking priceless!”

“Why aren’t women throwing themselves at me?” Marcus complained. “I look more like a soap star than he does.”

Thistle sobered. “Are you honestly complaining about that?”

“It’s not that I want another girlfriend,” Marcus stressed. “It’s just … I’m better looking than him. You believe that, right?”

“Oh, I’m not answering that.” Thistle turned to me. “This world is kind of funny at times. I’m starting to like it.”

“That makes one of us,” I said. “We need to find Sam and Clove to see if they have the diamond. In fact … .” I trailed off when I saw Clove darting in our direction. She looked paler than normal – even more ashen than when she realized she would have to sit in and participate with brain surgery – and she made a beeline straight for us. “What’s wrong?”

Landon straightened his shoulders and swiveled. “Did something happen?”

Clove remained focused on me. “You have to come. We have a situation.”

“I’ll say we have a situation,” Thistle said. “Landon apparently has girlfriends stashed everywhere, and all of them are batshit crazy.”

“Bay’s not crazy,” Landon shot back.

“Oh, you’re driving me there,” I said. “What’s wrong, Clove?”

“Sam is in trouble.” Clove was grim. “We lost Flynn on the operating table – and wait until I tell you about that situation – and now he’s been called in front of the board for disciplinary action.”

“So? Tell him to get out of it,” Landon ordered. “We don’t have time for that.”

“He can’t. Guards took him away.”

“In a hospital?” That made absolutely no sense. “What do you want us to do?”

“They want to see all of us, too. They’re waiting for us.”

It seemed our story had taken another turn. I heaved a sigh. “Okay. I guess we know where we’re going next.”

“Let’s just hope Landon doesn’t have another girlfriend in there,” Thistle said. “They seem to be getting crazier. The next one might very well be armed.”

Now that was a sobering thought.