“How many hazelnuts do you need?” Athena asked.
“About ten pieces.”
“Okay, Muscle Chef.” Her voice held equal parts amusement and mockery.
I eyed her through my periphery and grinned. She was mocking me now, but I couldn’t wait until she tried my Spätzle, then her mockery would turn to reverence.
Placing the hazelnuts inside the plastic bowl, she lifted her butt to the marble counter and watched me as I mixed the ingredients in the large metal saute pan. The butter was melting along real nice and it was starting to smell nutty which meant that it was time to remove the pan from the heat.
“Your mom taught you how to make this?” Her hazel eyes were on the boiling pot of water, and I was trying to concentrate on shaping the Spätzle into perfect little sparrow pieces, but it was tough because my hands itched to massage her legs instead of molding the batter to create smaller noodles.
The batter felt cold in my hands and it was exactly the right temperature for molding. Mom had a Spätzle press, but since I didn’t have any, I used a colander to help shape them.
“They’re so cute,” Athena said, her hair was still wet from the shower and her face still flushed from our lovemaking. We’d been going at it like rabbits and I was still insatiable.
Even after two rounds, my cock was rearing to go again.
“Hmm…” Her voice interrupted my dirty train of thoughts. “Why are those starting to look like tiny penises?”
I looked down on the soft batter in my hands and guffawed, “Fuck.”
They looked like miniature dicks because I was thinking of my dick.
“Are they supposed to look like that?” Her eyes twinkled in humor, she now had both of her legs up on the counter and since she was wearing tiny boy shorts, they’d ridden up and shit, I saw a hint of pink lace underneath them.
“No, they’re not supposed to look like uncircumcised dicks,” I retorted.
“Then why?” Her eyes questioned, her demeanor innocent and guileless. She had no clue what she did to my insides.
“It’s because you distract me,” I said simply. I tried to change the shapes of the noodles to salvage the dish and I was quite successful at it. My mother would be proud. She often made them in my younger years and I was tasked with ensuring that they were the perfect sparrow-shaped noodles.
“Distract you?” Her brows rose to her forehead. “I’m not distracting you. I’m watching you make me dinner.”
“Babe, do you want me to finish making you dinner or do you want me to have you for dinner?” I asked, though not really concerned about her answer because after dinner, I’d definitely be eating her up.
She licked her lips and said, “Hmm.”
My cock grew harder inside my board shorts, and it really took all the control I had to shake my head, “The batter won’t be good anymore if I let it sit.”
Mom always said that fresh Spätzle was best when cooked as soon as the noodles were done. I could’ve bought commercial noodles, but I only wanted to serve the best for my girlfriend.
She afforded me a naughty grin that she’d pay for in bed, but I stood my ground. “We’ll eat and then you can have me for dessert.”
“I already had you for breakfast.” She returned, the green in her eyes turning liquid. “You were so hard. And thick and –”
My mouth was on hers before she could finish her sentence.
She did have me for breakfast.
My cock in her mouth was high on my list of fantasies. Fantasies that she’d slowly made into reality.
My right hand was all battered up but at this moment, I could give a flying hoot. I lowered her legs on the counter and slowly I placed my hands on the straps of her green tank top. She wasn’t wearing a bra, I could visibly view her nipples getting hard as my hands carressed her breasts throught the thin fabric.
With my eyes on her face, I said, “Up” as her hands lifted to allow me to remove her top.
The sight of her perfect round breasts broke the tiny piece of resistance I held.
Fuck the Spätzle.
I’d make her a fresh one after I made her come once. Or twice. Or three times.
“I thought the batter won’t be good anymore if you don’t make it now.” Her words came out choppy as her breathing picked up and the flesh between her legs started to heat up.
“I won’t be good anymore if I don’t fuck you now.” I groaned, my fingers now lightly caressing the center of her body. I’d pushed her boy shorts and lace panties to the side so I could feel her naked flesh. In the beginning, Athena was somewhat reluctant to get naked outside of the bedroom. She wasn’t a prude, she just wasn’t used to it. Now, she was comfortable letting me feel her up everywhere. Yesterday, we’d gone to a restaurant and my hand never left her thigh and sometime during our meal, my hand found its way to her center. I wanted to give her an orgasm right there and there. I stopped myself because Athena could be loud. She was a screamer and I loved hearing her lust-filled voice when she came. As soon as we got into my car, I’d gone down on her and she screamed as loud as she could.
Fun, fun times.
“Muscles—” Her hushed whispers were getting needy. Her hands seared my back and when I’d fully removed her shorts and underwear, I took my time feeding on her.
The smell of her skin made my mouth water.
The wetness of her center elicited Pavlovian response. Need. Want. Need.
My mind shortcircuited to making her feel good as my tongue found her center. Slowly I licked her up and down. Fuck, her taste was addicting.
I pushed her legs up so my mouth could gain more access to her core.
She dripped in wetness and the slurping sounds I was making only egged her to tighten her hold on my hair.
My woman was wild when she needed me.
She moaned, “That feels sooo good, Muscles.” She called me Muscles. Even in throes of passion she never forgot my name. She said babe was too tame for me. Muscles was suitable because I had them in abundance.
My almost-kneeling position was going to be hard on my knees and I really shouldn’t care, but I’d feel a shitload of pain later, so I stood up, my mouth pulling away from her sweetness. I didn’t want to lose our pace so I replaced it with my fingers. She was so fucking wet so I pushed in two fingers to start with.
“Babe, you’re dripping,” I growled in hunger, her eyes molten as she raked her nails down my chest. They were going to leave marks but I loved it. I loved knowing that I did that to her. That I could make my sweet, considerate woman into a needy, wild, and selfish sexpot that went after her own pleasure.
“What do you want?” My voice came out rough, raspy, and loud with need. I untied my board shorts and pushed them down with my legs along with my boxer briefs.
My cock sprang free and it wanted in.
I added another finger and she accomodated me easily. She was tight so I felt her inside muscles contracting as I spread my fingers inside of her.
Latching on to a raspberry colored nipple, I asked again, “You ready for me?”
Her answer was a bite to my shoulder and I had to push my feet down on the floor to keep myself from coming. Athena loved to bite me. Little nips on the shoulders with her teeth and boy if that didn’t make me want to spill inside of her the second she did it.
I took my fingers out and I heard her groan.
Her hands found my cock and she massaged it roughly, with just the right amount of pressure and both of our eyes watched my pre-cum drip down to the floor. I reached for a condom by the counter and quickly sheathed myself.
I had a minute or two before we were in baby-making territory. After quickly wrapping myself up, I adjusted her so her legs were settled on the edge of the counter and slowly, oh-so-fucking slowly, I entered her.
My hands gripped her waist and she was biting, licking, kissing my chest in senseless, irrational movements.
I pulled out and she pulled on my short hair, “Inside me, please.”
Gone was my prim and proper Athena.
On the counter was my sensual and lust-crazed woman whose needs only I could fulfill. She didn’t know it yet, but I’d fucking beat the shit out of any other man who wanted to be inside of her.
I wasn’t a neandearthal, but with Athena, my primal instincts ruled me.
She was mine.
The rhythm I set was fast and rough. My cock couldn’t get enough of her pussy. If I could live inside of it, I would without a doubt.
My calloused hands must have felt rough on her satin skin, but Athena seemed to savor it. My thumbs touched her nipples and her back arched, and I felt her core muscles spasm.
“I’m coming,” she rasped, her eyes closing in pleasure.
I pressed my hands to her face and said, “Watch me, babe.”
I wanted her to see what she did to me. How she made me lose control. How I would give up anything to be with her.
I wanted her to feel the emotions that she made me feel – lust. Love. Happiness.
My life had been empty for a long time. I’d lived day in and day out with the purpose of just being alive. Her eyes landed on mine and she held a dazed, satisfied look. I picked up my pace and thrust in and out of her.
My hands fell to her waist, gripping her tighter, wanting her to be filled with everything that she made me feel.
“Fuuuccckkk.” My hips set up a drilling pace.
It was bruising.
Punishing.
Purging.
Purifying.
She lowered her hips, making me go in deeper inside of her. My legs started to shake as I felt my seed spilling and demanding to be released.
Her words were commanding in my ears, “Come for me, Muscles. Come inside me.”
Even if I’d wanted to – I couldn’t. It was all too much. I held my feelings for her for a long time and now that the dam had burst, I couldn’t keep it closed. Nor did I want to.
My leg muscles tightened and I felt my release become imminent.
“I’m coming, babe.”
She pulled my hips closer and tightened her legs around my ass as I let myself go.
Her cheek rested on my chest as I tried to recover from the aftermath of our exertions. My heart rate was picking up. I’d gauge it to be 90 right now.
I didn’t even get to 90 during our strenous miltary exercises and drills. And it never rose during a mission.
I stared deep into the eyes of the woman who held my heart in her smile. She sighed as she said, “I can’t get enough of you, Muscles.”
“Me too, babe.” I nodded my head, my hand skimming the heated warmth of her face. Her lips were slightly chapped from kissing my stubble, her hair was all messed up from my hands and still she looked beautiful. “Me too.”
I would never get enough of her.
And I hoped to hell and heaven that she never got enough of me.
“I want you to meet my mom.” There I said it.
She looked up from her plate of spätzle and gave me a querying look. “Hmm...this is yummy.”
“You can tell my mom in person that her recipe’s good.” I spooned a mouthful of the noodles and the creamy pasta melted in my palate. “I learned everything from her.”
“Hmmm…” Athena kept eating and her moaning was causing a disturbance inside my shorts again. I wasn’t a guy who used his dick as a second brain, but with Athena, I might as well have.
Before I lost my concentration again, I asked. “Would you like to meet her?”
After we’d made a mess of the counter, I miraculously was able to save the batter from becoming useless. Athena had taken another shower while I finished making dinner. Usually Vero would be over to cook something for me, but I’d asked Vero to take a couple of days off so that Athena and I could be alone in the house. Vero heartily agreed especially since she was already thinking about going on a short trip to visit her daughter in Baja. Vero used to be under mom’s payroll, but since five years ago, I’d taken over paying her salary and the upkeep of this house.
I stayed in this house when I was away from the Navy and it only made sense that I paid for everything in it. Mom had tried to argue with me, but I won the argument because I explained to her that she taught me responsibility at a young age. I was exercising my ability to be responsible for one of our properties and also the people who maintained it.
“Hmm…” Athena said. Instead of an answer she was using a diversion tactic and it wasn’t going to work.
“You don’t wanna meet her?” I asked with a lukewarm tone. I didn’t need my mom’s approval, but I’d really love it if she met Athena.
I added before she could respond, “It’s okay…I mean it’s not okay. I guess I’m being pushy.”
Athena picked up the wine glass filled with water and drank from it while I started to get up from the chair. I thought that it would be a good thing for my mother and my girlfriend to meet. Apparently, the woman sitting beside me didn’t think so.
Just as I was about to stand, she reached below the table and clamped her hands on my thighs. Her hands felt warm and her grip was strong.
“Webb. Please sit down.” She looked straight at me and I felt like I was getting a time out.
My legs folded onto the chair and I stayed silent. I was pretty sure that my eyes showed the confusion brewing inside of me. I’d never been the guy who openly expressed my emotions but I was trying. My personality was geared to be an introvert and I didn’t mince words. If I could get my message out with three words instead of ten, I did.
“I’d be honored to meet your mom,” she said, the browns in her eyes standing out against the green, her lips turning up on its sides. “I’ve never met a boyfriend’s mom before.”
Her hands were now on my upper legs so I held them with mine and brought our hands to the top of the dining table.
“I’ve never had a boyfriend. Everything that we have is new to me. I like being with you. I love being intimate with you. I enjoy our conversations since now it’s not that one-sided.” She chided as I closed my hands on hers, savoring the soothing feeling that our connected hands gave me.
“I’m not sure how to act around her. I don’t know much about her. I don’t know much about you either.” Her eyes bore into mine, giving me a dose of the truth that’s been simmering between us. “You know all about me, but I know so little of you.”
“Athena…” I started, what she was saying was all true.
“Will you please let me finish?” She was calm and relaxed earlier and now she was the opposite of both. Her back had stiffened and there was a visible squint in her eyes, all signs that she was uncomfortable.
I nodded, willing her to go on.
“Everyone treats me like I’m fragile. Like I’m going to shatter with the slightest wind. My dad, I love him dearly, but he never tells me what’s really going on. Even when I was a kid with a rare disease, he always tried to hide the truth from me. I know why he did it, why he does it. It’s because he loves me and wants to protect me.” She paused and looked at the ceiling, as if trying to restore her composure. “My mom’s exactly the same. She didn’t even want to tell me about the divorce. I had to hear it from a conversation that she was having with her friend. You see, Webb? Everyone keeps truths away from me.”
She let out a long sigh, “I want to meet your mom. I’m excited about it and I know I’m not showing it… It’s because I’m nervous and sad at the same time. I want to make a great impression on her. I’ve seen her pictures on Google.”
I kept my expression passive. She didn’t have to Google me or my family.
“I Googled you because you don’t share anything about yourself so I had to use a search engine to know about your life.”
I breathed out. “I’m sorry, babe.”
She kept on, and I held on to her hands. I knew that something was bugging her but like I said, I wasn’t one to voice out my feelings on things.
“I don’t want to meet your mom when I barely know anything about you. I’ve shared everything of me with you. I’ve kissed you, you’ve held me at my scariest and most vulnerable moments, and I’ve given huge parts of myself with you. Yet I know squat about your childhood... Like where did you grow up? I want to hear everything about you from you. Your mom will tell me stories of you and I want to hear them and feel like I’m just filling in the details and not have everything she says to me like it’s the first time I’m hearing them. I’m not sure if that makes sense. Maybe I’m just all wet.”
“Babe.” I didn’t like hearing this from her. “You’re not all wet.”
She pursed her lips and her head hung low. Her hair was still wet from the second shower she’d taken and her dark hair hung loosely over her off-white shirt. She looked young, fragile as she’d said, but looks often lied.
She was the bravest woman I knew.
She battled an unknown disease without letting it break her spirit.
She’d survived physical and mental horrors from her kidnappers but she acted, felt, and spoke as if it was just a blip in her life.
I reached my hand over the table and lifted her chin with a gentle nudge, “I’m sorry I’m so closed off.”
“You don’t have to apologize for that,” she countered, offering me an out.
“But I am.” I shook my head, I wanted her to understand, “I haven’t been open to you. I’ve left a lot of the details of my life wrapped up in a small box inside my mind and only I have access to it.”
Her lips were in a straight line, and she tore her gaze away from me.
“I understand…” she said, her eyes deflecting the pain that I was causing her.
“No you don’t, babe,” I responded, trying to keep my voice soft because the last thing I wanted to do was to scare her away and prevent her from ever speaking her mind. She should always feel safe with me. She should know that I would never knowingly try to muffle her voice, her opinions, and her stance on things.
“Webb, it’s okay,” she repeated, she was trying to conceal defeat in her demeanor. “You don’t have to tell me stuff…it’s okay. I’m just being pushy.”
I stood up and lifted my chair and placed it a few inches away from hers. This time, even if she tried to she couldn’t escape. The thought of her running away from me, distancing herself from me, and not ever letting me know how she truly felt was enough to wake me up from not letting her in on the details of my life.
“I was born in a hilly seaside community of La Jolla.” My voice was steady, but the arms I’d placed on her legs were starting to get cold. I’d never told anyone about my life. I may have divulged some to Caterina, but not like this. Never like this.
Athena was different from Caterina.
She was as genuine as they came.
“My mom was quite popular in the German music scene, but she gave it all up to marry my dad whom she met while he watched one of her shows. He was a dedicated Marine and when he died, I wanted to preserve his legacy so I joined the service…” I described to her how it was like living without a father, the merits and disadvantages of being an only child, and I even shared with her what it was like to be in a recruit in the Navy.
I kept talking.
And talking.
We stayed in that spot for thirty minutes before I moved us to the couch when I saw her becoming stiff in that same position. I propped her head on a pillow and proceeded to tell her about how I spent my childhood between San Diego and Germany. How I’d traveled so many places around the globe because we visited my dad for weeks, sometimes months, depending on where his assignments fell on the school calendar. I described to her what it was like to spend Christmas in Hong Kong and New Year’s in Singapore.
I regaled her with the stories of summers in Puerto Rico and winters in Uganda.
And Athena listened.
And listened.
Once in a while, she’d ask a question and I’d give her an answer and a peck on her lips.
My life had been locked in a box that I kept to myself. I’d never planned on opening it because sometimes the memories didn’t serve a purpose.
Yet as I shared my stories with this hazel-eyed beauty by my lap, I started to recognize that all memories had a purpose. Bad or good. Worse or best. They all made me the man I was today and led me to this moment –
“Have you ever fallen in love?” Her question was out of the blue yet it was something I’d expected.
“I have,” I said, lowering my head so my lips could touch hers. “Are you asking about now or before?”
Her eyes flickered with an unfamiliar, passing expression. “Before. With whom?”
Her gaze, which often wandered between my pecs and my face, stayed on my face, gauging my countenance.
“Her name was Caterina.” Just remembering her name in my head used to cause a reaction. Now it was merely a reflex. She was a part of my past.
“Hmm…” Athena hummed, not elaborating any further. Her hand started gliding inside my shirt to feel the center of my chest.
“I loved her, but she didn’t love me,” I said, my tone neutral. Way back when, every time the name Caterina was mentioned by my closest friends, it brought a pang in my chest. It sort of felt like an old stab from a wound. You knew that it was there and it created ghost pain. Now I felt nothing.
I had tried to find closure, to chase the bitterness away, hoping that it didn’t poison the start of my relationship with Athena.
Now I can truly, finally say, “She doesn’t matter anymore.”
Athena asked, “Why didn’t she love you?”
I shrugged, “That’s a question you’d have to ask her, but I hope you never get the chance to.”
Even the slash of her brows was perfect, “Why? Is she a bitter ex? Did you scorn her? Cheat on her?” The last question was said with a slight chuckle.
“No. None of the above.” I pinched her on the sides of her waist, “You know I’m not the kind to cheat.”
She really didn’t, but I hoped I’d given her the security and confidence that I’d never cheat on her.
Her face was calm, “I know, Muscles.”
“Good. Because I would never cheat on you.” Other men had the urge to cheat on their spouse or girlfriends or partners, but my role model was my dad, and he’d never strayed away from mom.
A full blown smile graced her face, transforming her beauty to mesmerizing. “Good.”
I ducked my head to dip into her mouth and she gave me her tongue to which I suckled on. My cock started to twitch in my shorts, coming alive once again.
“Webb…” Her voice was muffled against my mouth.
“Yeah?” I let her up for air but my face didn’t venture far from hers.
“If you loved her …” Her voice intoned and her lips wet from my kisses, asked, “What happened? Why didn’t it work out?”
I’d figured that one of these days, I’d tell her about him.
I just wasn’t expecting it would be today.
I breathed in and sucked in life.
When I breathed out, I could still taste the bitter, acrid punch of the truth that had haunted me, devastated my soul for years.
“Because she took my son away from me.”