I didn’t want to leave the darkness.
The darkness had engulfed me and I wanted to stay in it.
I was coccooned in it and leaving would mean getting out there, back in the light, where everything was suffocating, constricting.
The absence of light made me feel safe. Protected. Encumbered.
“Sonnenschein, I know you can hear me.”
The voice sounded so far away. It belonged to a man.
“Please wake up.”
There was pleading in the voice, the pain apparent within his words.
But the darkness felt so warm.
I shut my ears off, barring the entry of sound. I wanted to stay…in here.
I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and something pressed on my ears, was someone kissing me?
“Sunshine…”
It was the man again.
Beckoning me, reaching out to me, pulling me away from the darkness.
Every time I heard his voice, light started to seep in. I hated the light, it hurt my eyes, and it made my body cringe in pain.
But his voice was doing something to me, making me follow him, making me want to go back there – in the light.
“Wake up…please.”
His voice was commanding yet he was gentle.
“Open your eyes.”
The darkness was seductive yet it was losing its charm.
His voice was better than the light. My body was starting to recognize him.
I could feel my heart beating in my chest.
I could feel the cold air coming in from a vent above me.
I heard distinct sounds that keep getting louder and louder.
“My baby.” A woman was crying, it sounded like my mom. I tried to roll my eyes – sometimes she was over dramatic.
“Get the doctor right now!” My dad. He was almost yelling.
I heard footsteps come closer to me and cold metal touching my chest.
It was hard to open my eyes but I tried.
My lids felt so heavy, but it was getting easier to lift them.
Then finally I caught a glimpse of the lights above me. God, they were so bright.
My head turned and a man in a white lab coat was hovering over me, beside him was an older lady wearing Peppa Pig scrubs which made me giggle.
“You have a beautiful smile, Athena,” the man said, I’m guessing he was the doctor even though he looked young because he had a stethoscope in his hand and a pen light in the other hand.
“Stop hitting on my girlfriend, Dr. Simms.” It was the voice, the man who called me from the darkness and back into the living. I tried to turn my head to the left, but I was being hindered by a bunch of wires.
“A.I., you’re back.” My dad was by the foot of the bed and I could see the sheen of fresh tears in his eyes.
Mom was standing close to Dad, she was wearing a new outfit, I knew because I took stock of her closet and I hadn’t seen this one before. It was a light yellow suit with floral design. It made her look ten years younger. I smiled because Mom and Dad both looked good.
I sounded off “I am” but my voice came out like a croak.
“Looking good, Athena,” the doctor said with a smile. He was cute, he even had a dimple on his left cheek. The nurse beside him moved towards the head of the bed and started pushing buttons.
“Dr. Simms, please stop flirting with my woman.” There it went again, the man who breathed life back into me.
This time I tried really hard to move my neck and the nurse was really fast because she’d moved the long wires around so I could have full range of motion without any blockage.
He was standing underneath the light so I couldn’t fully see his face. He was wearing a red shirt with a bullseye logo on the front of it. He filled up his shirt real nice, and when he leaned on the bed to get closer to me, I saw the muscles on his arms flex.
When he was on my eye level, he moved a stray hair from my face and I saw the blue in his eyes temper to a cooler gray.
God, he was so handsome.
My hands itched to touch his face, but I couldn’t since my arm was stuck to a board.
He solved my dilemma by touching my face and whispering, “You came back, sunshine.”
“I did.” My voice came out rushed and breathy, “I’ll always come back to you.”
Dad moved to my right, squeezed my hand tightly, and started speaking to Dr. Simms in medical language, and in a flash, Mom was by my side, hugged me on the side and kissed my cheek and in another flash, she was on the phone.
I heard her ordering food, probably mac n’ cheese, a mango slushie, and raspberry tarts. My three main food groups.
For a second, I was transported back to my childhood - whenever I had gone through a successful medical trial, all three were waiting for me in the hospital room. They were my favorites. My comfort foods.
I wasn’t given a reprieve to commemorate my past because beside me, the man who jumpstarted me to life had completely covered me with his arms. It wasn’t an easy feat. He had to move medical equipment out of the way with the assistance of the nurse, but if anything, Webb was persistent.
Once he had me in his arms, he stared at me long and hard, oblivious to my parents who were inside the small room with us.
He put his forehead close to mine and with my left hand, I touched his face. It was obvious he hadn’t shaved because of the stubble I felt under his chin.
He closed his eyes and when he opened them, his lashes were damp.
“You scared me, Athena.” He breathed in, and took a long exhale, “You scared all of us. I thought I wasn’t going to have this chance with you again.”
I could see the sorrow in his eyes and the exhaustion in his features.
I asked, “How long was I gone?”
He didn’t detach his eyes from mine, “Eight days.”
The darkness was so inviting, beguiling. “It’s been that long?”
“Yeah, it felt like an eternity,” he confessed, and I could tell he was restraining himself. It was in the way the muscles on his shoulders bunched up when he was trying to control his emotions.
“You saved me from them…” The reverence in my voice couldn’t be hidden. Right now, I could see snippets of what happened to me, but I didn’t want those memories to rob me of this moment right here.
“Like you, sunshine.” A slow smile started to grow on his face, Webb seldom smiled, so when he did, it was pretty special. His teeth began to show and his dimples were out in the open as he said, “I will always come back for you.”