TWENTY-THREE
Dalt
“As much as I want to stay inside you all day long if we don’t get out of this bed we may never be able to walk again.” I smile at how good this is: how good she makes me feel, how beautiful she is, how perfect the world is now that she’s back in mine.
“What would you like to do today?”
“You mean besides continuing to ride your surfboard?” She laughs, her head dropping to the side to face me. We’re lying on our backs, both of us trying to regain normal breathing patterns and slow down our racing hearts.
“Yeah. Besides that.” I roll onto my side to face her, brush my nose across her shoulder and place my palm on her flat stomach. Her skin pebbles in goosebumps.
“I hate leaving you but I told you I have to go to the farm.”
“Damn. I almost forgot. Let me go with you. I want to help, and besides, I think it’s time I meet your mom.” Her stomach muscles tense under my hand.
Doesn’t she want me to meet her mom? Maybe she’s still worried about the differences in our lifestyles.
“I love llamas. Can’t wait to meet them too.” I try to reassure her I’m not about big city life. I can be all about small farm life or outer space life, for that matter, if it means being with her.
“Alpacas.”
“What?”
“We raise alpacas, not llamas”
“Oh, right. I knew that.”
Is there a difference?
“Dalt, listen,” she says rolling on her side to face me. “I have to—”
“Okay. Got it. You have to go do some things at the farm. At least let me make you breakfast before you go. I’m giving you one day. Just one.” I hold up a finger. “I can’t live without you any longer than that.” She stares at me without saying a word. Her eyes, which appear more azure in the light of day, become liquid with tears, bringing back the memory of the time she laid next to me in bed and told me about the loss of her father.
“What is it, sweetheart. You okay?”
“It’s…nothing. I…I’m just so happy.” She cups my face with her hand and I reach up to hold it there.
“Me too, baby. Me too. After tomorrow it’s you and me together, forever. There’s something I want to talk to you about over breakfast.” She blinks a couple of times and a lone tear escapes out of the corner of her eye. I catch it and brush it away with my thumb.
“Why don’t you go jump in the shower while I whip us up something to eat. I know my girl. It’s been way too many hours since you’ve had food.” I wait for her usual snarky comeback when I comment on her favorite pastime.
Nikki can eat more than some of the guys on the team which, by the way, is another thing I love about her. She eats what she wants, giving zero fucks who’s watching her, not having to pretend she has to eat like a bird because she’s a girl. But the sarcasm doesn’t come. She slips out of bed and heads into the bathroom with a quiet, “Okay.”
Something doesn’t feel right. Food first. Then conversation.
***
Nikki walks in the kitchen and drops her backpack by the door. “Smells good.” Her wet hair is woven into two long braids on either side of her head. She’s wearing overalls covered with embroidered multicolored flowers. The legs are rolled up at the hem to accommodate her black Dr. Martin boots. Underneath she’s wearing a striped rainbow-colored tank top, which no doubt has some classic cartoon character sprawled across the front I’m unable to see.
She’s a beautiful burst of sunshine on a cloudy day. A nineteen seventies burst of sunshine, because Nik is all about vintage clothing. She says it reminds her of a time when people were kinder to each other. I fuckin’ love everything about this girl.
“Hey, sunshine. I could hear your stomach growling all the way from the bathroom,” I tease her.
“That wasn’t my stomach. I was singing,” she laughs. There she is. My sassy, funny girl is back. “Mmm. I’ll do a lap dance for some of that bacon.” She comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist as I push the scrambled eggs around in the frying pan.
“I was going to share it with you for free but forget it now. I’ll take the lap dance.” I tilt my head back to kiss her cheek.
“Ha. I was totally going to give you the lap dance for free. But forget it now. You’ll have to supply me with lots of bacon if you want it.”
“What do I get for bacon and eggs?” I smile, handing her a filled plate.
“Everything. Anything.” She says in a soft voice and gives me the Nikki look which could bring a monk to his knees, and not in prayer. My cock twitches.
“Ohh coffee. Yes. Please.” She pulls a mug from the cabinet and pours herself a cup. Just like that the mood changes and she’s back to focusing on her food. “You want some?”
“No thanks.” I chuckle. “Already have some. It’s not too good. I tried my best to make fresh brewed but all coffeemakers hate me. They only love Batt.”
“You mean coffeemakers are into the strong, silent type? Huh. Never knew that.” She teases and takes a sip of the motor oil disguised as coffee I managed to brew. Her flinch confirms what I already know about the taste.
“Pfft. Strong silent type. You mean brick wall who doesn’t want to waste any time using his mouth to talk to the ladies because he has more important things to do to them with his mouth?” Batt’s the smoothest non-talking ladies’ man I’ve ever known. Whatever he’s got, the puck bunnies hop over each other to get to him.
“Strong silent type sounds nicer.” Another sip of coffee elicits another cringe. She shovels a forkful of eggs into her mouth to chase the bitter taste.
“Sorry. I’m not the best in the kitchen.” I join her at the table with my coffee and plate of food.
“No. It’s good. The eggs are delicious. Besides, hockey boy, you have other talents to make up for your lack of homemaking abilities.” She winks.
“Hey. Didn’t we already discuss this? You’re not allowed to sexually objectify your person like that anymore.” I wave my fork at her.
“Oh, okay. I’ll never think of you in a sexual way again in the name of political correctness,” she says in a serious tone and continues eating.
“Fuck that noise. As I said yesterday, objectify away. Consider me your plaything, inept at everything except the use of my tongue, fingers, and cock to keep you coming all day, every day.” I wink right back at her and she chokes on the mouthful of coffee swill she just sipped.
She fans her hand in front of her face. “It’s this coffee. It’s super hot.”
“Uh huh. The coffee made you hot.” I grin into my cup and take a sip.
Gah. How is she drinking this shit?
We glance up at each other every few seconds while continuing to eat our breakfast in silence.
“We need to talk,” we blurt out at the same time, breaking the silence.
“Sorry. You go,” she says.
“No. You go ahead.”
“No, really. You go.” She takes another sip of coffee. Now I know she definitely loves me if she’s willing to drink this toxic waste to not hurt my feelings.
“Okay. Here’s the thing. I obviously have no intention of ever working with my father or for the studio and production company as long as he has anything to do with it. Right?”
“Uh. Right. I guess…if it’s what you want or…don’t want. What about Garrett?”
“Garrett’s fine. He’s practically king of the movie industry already and he has an entourage of people who work for him. He doesn’t need me.”
“Okaaay?” She crosses her legs underneath her Indian style and stops her fork mid-scoop to listen.
“I’m going to accept the offer to play for the Winds.”
“Excuse me?” she coughs.
“The Santa Ana Winds. I’m going to accept their offer to play hockey for them. The contract they’re offering is phenomenal. It’s a dream come true, Nik.”
“In…in California?” Her fork slips from her hand and clatters on the dish. She keeps swallowing even though I don’t think there’s any food in her mouth.
“Last time I checked that’s where they were located.”
I know this must be a shock coming out of the blue like this. But I didn’t know until yesterday the whirlwind path our lives were going to take. It’s coming out of the blue for me too.
“I know everything’s happening kind of fast but they want me out there right away. I’ve been holding off giving them an answer because…well…because I wanted to stay near you. But timing is perfect now. I’m pretty much done with my course work. I talked it over with Coach De Luca. He says I can work everything out with my professors and finish whatever I need to online. What do ya think?”
“You’re…you’re leaving?” Jesus. Her eyes are tearing up again.
“Not me, baby, we.” I take her hand in mine and stroke the back of it with my thumb. She’s shaking like a leaf.
“I’m not going anywhere without you. I told you I’m never leaving you. I want you to go with me. It’s perfect. We can get a house on the beach. You can put your toes in the sand and draw all day in the California sun.”
“I…I can’t move to California, Dalt.” Her voice quivers.
“I can’t move without you, Nik.” If she thinks I’m moving three miles away from her let alone three-thousand, the multiple orgasms I gave her last night must have fried some brain cells.
“Listen. You can finish your degree out there. Some of the best art schools in the country are there. And if you want, Garrett can find you a job working for a studio on kid’s movies or something. Not at ours, of course. I don’t want my fucking father anywhere near you. I don’t know. Whatever you want. We can figure it out.”
“But the farm. I can’t leave my mom and the farm.” Her voice is soft and she’s trembling.
“I thought you said your mom has some new superman in her life who’s taking care of the farm now.”
“She does but—”
“Nik, honey. Even if you didn’t want to move to Cali, you’d have to move somewhere to do the kind of work you want to do, at least until you’re as famous as Seuss.” I sweep one braid back behind her shoulder. “Where are you going to show your work in Winter Harbor? The five and dime?”
Even though I know this is a major decision, not something to take lightly, I offer the glib comment to make her smile and relax. But truthfully, the comment isn’t too far off the mark. Winter Harbor is the size of a postage stamp. Nikki’s talents are way too special to be hidden away in a remote corner of the country.
“I know but…wait…how did you know the farm was in Winter Harbor?” Her sparkling eyes narrow and drill into me.
“Um…pretty sure you mentioned it.”
“No. Pretty sure I didn’t.”
Shit. What’s the big deal if I know her farm’s in Winter Harbor?
“What? I had Wolfe do a little cyberstalking for me. No big deal.” Her inquisitorial stare becomes wide-eyed and shocked. At least she doesn’t look like she’s going to bust out crying anymore.
“Nik, baby. You can’t blame me. I missed your sweet face. I wanted to know how far away you were.”
“The whole time I was out of school you knew where I was?” She’s bouncing one knee up and down in agitation now.
“Why are we even talking about this? What difference does it make now? Let’s get back to the moving out to L.A. topic.”
“You knew where I was but you never came there to find me, right?” Her leg is still bouncing and now she’s chewing on her lips. Uh oh. She’s pissed because I knew where she was but didn’t go there to try to get her back. She’s right. I was a complete asshole for not going to find her.
“Well…no. But it wasn’t because I didn’t want to see you. I—”
“Okay. Good.” She blows out a big breath of air and stops fidgeting.
Okay, good? What the hell does that mean? Forget it. Get back to the important topic of conversation here.
“Right. Good.”
What the fuck?
It’s going to take me a lifetime to figure out what goes on inside her beautiful head.
“So, uh, what do you think about me signing with the Winds and us moving to Cali?”
“My family, school, the team, my scholarship. It’s not that simple, Dalt.”
“I realize it’s asking a lot from you, Nik. But…well…dammit, I love you and we both know what it’s like to be apart. I can’t go through that again, babe. Can you?” She gives a slight shake of her head, keeps chewing on her lips and letting out shallow sighs. But doesn’t say anything.
“You can play for another school out there. I’m sure any school would go crazy to have a striker like you. They’d be happy to offer you a scholarship. Or play for the college of your choice without a scholarship. I told you, money isn’t a problem. Anything you want, Nik.”
Still not a word.
“Nik, baby? This is one of those times you’re going to have to say something. I need to know what you’re thinking.”
“This is a lot to take in, Dalt. A couple of days ago I was trying to figure out how to live my life without you. Today? Let’s see. You made me come, what was it, about twenty times? Told me you’re a gazillionaire. Professed your love for me and said you want to be with me forever. And now you want me to drop everything here: school, team, family, and run away with you to California to lay on the sand while you play professional hockey. Is that about it? Do I have it all straight?”
“Everything but the coming thing. I think it was more like thirty times.”
“Real funny, hockey boy. Can you be serious, please?”
“I’m totally serious. You forgot to count the multiple times I used my tongue and fingers to get you screaming my name.” Teasing required to get her to relax. But I’m not wrong about her count being off.
“Dalt…” I love her cute admonishing whine.
“Okay. You want serious, soccer girl? Here goes. There’s only two things in this world I’ve ever really wanted. To play hockey was one of them. The other most important thing is sitting here right now giving me her best super-annoyed glare. You tell me what you want, baby girl. If you want to stay here to finish our degrees and take the next step when we get to it, I’m here with you. No pressure, no regrets. Because if I’ve learned anything in the last couple of years it’s that nothing means anything if you’re not in my life. I’m all in wherever or whenever you want. It’s your call, Nik.”
This may be the first time in our relationship I can’t read her expression or body language. She looks distantly contented by my words but I’m also sensing an edge…nervousness or a tinge of melancholy.
“I…can I think about it? I need a little time to…just think.”
“Sure, babe. Like I said, no pressure. But as I also said, I’m not going anywhere without you. If you say no, I’ll move to Winter Harbor and get a job at the five and dime.” I lean over and kiss her. The coffee tastes a lot better on her lips.
“I don’t think they’d hire you, hockey boy. You’re too much of a pain in the ass.” She smirks and picks up her cup of sludge.
“Nice.” Always the little smartass even when she’s conflicted. “Now what did you want to tell me?”
Am I disappointed she didn’t behave like the usual impulsive Nikki and throw herself into my arms saying of course I’ll move to California with you? Sure. But realistically, it’s a major decision and understandable why she needs some time.
“Tell you?” She pushes her eggs around her plate and she hasn’t touched her bacon. If Nikki isn’t gobbling down available bacon, you know something is weighing heavy on her mind. Could be my asking her to uproot her life and move with me at the drop of a hat, but I think there’s more to it than that. Something was bothering her even before she went to take a shower.
“Nik?” I’ve never seen her this reticent. She normally has no problem telling me what’s on her mind, giving me her opinion, telling me I’m a dumb fuck when I am one.
“Okay.” She blows out a breath. “Well…um…I have something…”
My cell phone begins vibrating on the countertop. Nikki stops mid-sentence and glances at it. I ignore it until it stops buzzing.
“Sorry. Go ahead.”
“Um…so…after you went…”
My fucking cell phone starts rattling on the countertop, interrupting her again.
“You better get that,” she says. “It could be important.”
“Sorry. Let me see who it is. I’ll get rid of them.” I hop up and scoop my phone off the counter to see Garrett’s number across the screen. I swipe the accept button.
“Hey, bro. ‘Sup?” I hold a give-me-a-second finger up to Nikki. “I’ll tell him I’ll call him back later.” I half mouth half whisper to her.
“What? Say that again.” I put a finger over the microphone while my brother keeps ranting things I can’t understand into my ear. “Sorry, babe. I have to take this. It might take a while. Can you hold that thought?”
“It’s fine. I’m going to head back to the farm. I’ll give you a call later.” She rinses her plate and cup in the sink. “Oh and hockey boy?’ She turns and places a kiss on my cheek. “I dammit love you too.” She repeats the fucked expression of love I gave her earlier.
“Hang on, Garrett. I can’t understand what you’re saying.” I drop the phone to my thigh and press it into my shorts to muffle the sound. “Wait, Nik. Don’t go. Give me a few—”
“It’s fine. It can wait a little longer. Talk to your brother. I’ll call you when I get to the farm. Just lock up before you leave.”
Garrett’s yelling is frantic and loud enough, I can feel the sound vibrating my thigh.
“Hey. I dammit love you too,” I call to her as she picks up her backpack and walks out the door. That gets me a sweet wave of her fingers and a forced smile. The melancholy semblance is back and it has me worried.