Chapter 12

Thomas leaned against the bathroom door. The gentle scent of lavender wafted up from underneath it and the smell of Angela filled his nostrils. He shuddered at the thought of her in there, soaking in the tub. Her soft skin always looked so fresh and smelled so good. He had a perfect mental image of what she must look like right then with her long hair piled loosely on her head, a loose tendril escaping down the side of her face. He’d love to be there with her, to tuck it behind her ear…as he leaned in and kissed those lips…

Thomas knew how he felt about her since college. But, she was Blake’s girl and Blake was one of his best friends. A man had to have a code in life and his was that he didn’t screw with his best friend’s woman. He wouldn’t have wanted her so badly if he thought she was that easy anyways. Her dedication to Blake was part of her overall appeal…and it was what he wanted when he found the right woman for him. He used to tell Blake that if he ever did her wrong he would be waiting there in the rafters ready to sweep her off her feet, and he meant it. She deserved a man who would dedicate himself to her alone. She deserved Blake…and now that Blake is gone, she deserved him.

**

Angela leaned her head back against the porcelain of the deep tub and closed her eyes. As soon as she did, there was Blake. His gorgeous, smiling face was with her wherever she was…but quiet times like this was when the memories of just how much she loved him surfaced. Those memories made her smile. He was everything any woman could ever want or need…and she knew how lucky she was that she got to have him if only for a short time.

Unfortunately, the good memories always came with the bad no matter how hard she tried to block them out. She remembered getting the diagnosis, holding his hand during his treatments that just made him weaker and sicker. She remembered the long nights when the pain medication wasn’t working and she’d listen to the man she adored begging God to take him. Those were the memories that felt like a knife was being shoved into the center of her chest and twisted. Those were the ones that she wished she could forget.

She hoped that Blake would understand how hard it would have been for her to stay in their home. It became just a shell when he was gone and all of the dreams they’d had together the day he picked her up and carried her in over the threshold had died with him. Her dreams had to be different now. She had to allow herself to have them, and that hadn’t been easy either. She thought about Steve then and she wondered if she would ever meet a man that made her feel the way he does…and not feel guilty about it. The thought of him did things to her body that she couldn’t control…and almost didn’t want to. But they also made her feel so unfaithful and disloyal to Blake. Maybe in time that would change. Widows go on with their lives, right?

For now, she was going to content herself with going on with her life through her job…and with her friends. It was less painful that way anyways. She thought about Joanne and smiled. She was really looking forward to this weekend. She hadn’t realized just how much she missed her friend until she saw her again here. She thought about Thomas too. He’d been so incredibly strong for her through all of this. She knew that he loved Blake and his death had rocked Thomas’ world as well as her own. Yet he’d offered his support and even opened up his home to her. Yes, he’d been acting strange lately, but maybe she was just being too hard on him. After all, he still probably had his own grief to sort through.

By the time Angela got out of the tub, Joanne was there. She brought her a triple Venti Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks, her favorite, and they talked and laughed about how much fun they would have at the party while Angela finished getting ready. When she was dressed and packed, they made their way out to the living room. Thomas was in the kitchen, standing up against the counter having his coffee.

“Good morning,” he said with a smile. Joanne looked at her and rolled her eyes. She wasn’t as quick to forgive him as Angela was for his behavior lately.

“Good morning,” Angela told him with a smile.

“You girls are off to Long Beach this morning?”

“Yes, do you have plans for the Fourth?” She asked him.

“A friend of mine is having a party in Manhattan. I’m going to that. The rest of the weekend I’ll probably just chill here.”

“That sounds like fun,” she said. She hated that she had to search for things to say to him. It was never like that before. Joanne was looking at her and she smiled and said, “We had better get going.”

“Okay, you ladies be safe and have fun. I’ll see you when you get back.” He said the words but something told her he didn’t mean them…at least the “have fun” part. She shook it off, once again convincing herself that it was her. She was being way too hard on him.

“We will,” she said, accepting a kiss on the cheek from him. Joanne still hadn’t said anything. Finally, probably to stave off some of the weirdness of the moment her girlfriend looked at Thomas and said,

“See ya!”

Thomas gave her a smile that looked a little forced and said, “Yeah, see ya.”