Niki

I wasn’t sure what to expect, but after what we just shared, I didn’t expect him to leave.

He’s gone.

Grabbing a tank top from the floor and the pair of panties that landed on the headboard, I head to the bathroom to clean myself up and gather my thoughts.

Throwing the clothes on the counter, I bypass the mirror, refusing to see the woman I have let myself become. Sitting down on the side of the tub, I let the water run over my hand until it gets to the desired temperature — scalding hot.

Sliding in, I let the burn sting, temporarily staining my skin a deep red. The pain is a feeling I’m used to.

I know Aiden has his plate full with getting the FDA on board and approving their new miracle drug, but I thought if I compromised what I wanted for what he needed, we could somehow make this work. Two lost souls, trying to find their way, being broken together.

I never asked for a promise of tomorrow. I knew he couldn’t do that, but today? He could do today, right?

Hands slowly waving in the water, I let my thoughts consume me. Holding my breath, I allow myself to be taken under.

No words.

No sounds.

No thinking.

Just me, drowning my thoughts away.

Rising back above the water, heart beating wildly, I gasp for air. Chest heaving, I try to catch my breath. In and out.

Inhale.

Breathe.

Exhale.

Breathe.

Repeat.

I hear light raps on the door before the knob turns, letting in the man who was a beast just minutes ago.

“I’m sorry for leaving, but…” He comes over to the bath, kneeling beside the tub, eyes roaming my body.

“But what?” I ask, needing the answer.

“But you make me feel too much.” He grabs a wash cloth and the soap. “Lean up.”

I should lean up. Let him wash the sins away…I just can’t. Not after today. I need to know why he keeps doing this.

“I can wash myself, thank you.” I grab the soap-lathered cloth.

“Come on, Niki,” he pleads.

“Don’t do that. Aiden, I told you I could take what you give, but with that also comes respect. Down at the pool, leaving…that is anything but.”

“There are things you don’t know, things I’ve done that I’m not proud of.”

Now we are getting somewhere.

“I don’t care about any of that.” I shake my head, fighting back the tears. “You had me in the palm of your hand. Don’t you understand? I made everything easy for you; the only thing I needed from you was for you to stay.” I stand. “Can you hand me a towel please?”

Reaching under the sink, he grabs a couple, handing them to me. “For what it’s worth, I have never stayed. You are the only one I have ever come back to.”

“I don’t know how to feel about that,” I confess. Wrapping the towel around myself, I grab my clothes, sliding on my panties then my tank. I feel a little less transparent in a physical sense.

“Neither do I. These emotions…I’m not used to them.” He stands up, moving to sit on the counter.

“I’m not going to keep this back and forth going. Maybe we just need to keep our distance until you can figure out how to give me a little more,” I suggest, not really meaning it. As women, we do the stupidest things. Say things we don’t need to say in order to get a reaction that will never come, setting ourselves up for failure.

“I can’t do that. Not right now. But I promise you, I will make it happen.”

“Aiden, until then, we need to keep this strictly business, and when I say that, I don’t mean the ignore me, give me the cold shoulder type of business relationship. I mean treat me like a fucking human being.”

“Okay, I’ll work on it. In the meantime, do you want to stay in for dinner? Maybe a little Netflix and—”

“Business, Aiden.”

“This is just two friends, pizza and beer, binge watching ‘The Walking Dead.’” His smile is genuinely relaxed.

His words ring in my ears, reminding me of Gavin and how he we haven’t even really talked except for a few texts here and there.

“How about you make it sushi, and we will call it a non-date.”

“Perfect. I’ll call down to the front desk.” He hops off the counter, making his way to the door. “See you in a few.”

“Deal. I just need to finish getting dressed and make a quick call. Then, I’ll be down.” I follow him out and into my room.

“I think your phone is in my jacket pocket. Inside left breast.” He nods to the mess of clothes still on the floor. “I’ll clean that up after dinner,” he says, not even really apologizing, then heads for the stairs.

“Yes, you will!” I tease, hoping to keep the light mood going.

Picking up his jacket, I reach in and grab my phone. A piece of paper flutters to the floor.

Hmmm!

Bending down to pick it up, I notice it’s a jeweler’s receipt for thirty-six thousand dollars.

“Holy shit!” I say to no one but myself. Scanning the receipt, I see he bought the items while we were in New York. Two watches for ten thousand and one diamond bracelet for sixteen thousand.

My bracelet.

That is just nuts. Who actually spends that kind of money, and what about those watches? Ten grand each? I mean, I knew Aiden had a couple watches, but collecting them at ten thousand a pop is kind of ridiculous.

Tucking the receipt back in his pocket, I decide that this is something I’m not even going to address. It’s in the past, and I’ve already accepted the gift.

Sitting down on the chaise lounge in the corner of the room, I power my phone on to call Gavin, but as I’m waiting for my phone to come to life, he calls.

Thank God!

“Hey you! I was just about to call you!” I lean back, getting comfortable.

“N-Niki?” Kara’s voice comes across the line. Sitting up, I begin to panic. Something has happened to Gavin.

“Kara? What’s wrong? Where’s Gavin?” I close my eyes, hoping that she just accidently misdialed, or maybe, just maybe, he had her call.

“Nothing’s wrong.” Her voice is a whisper.

“Kara, you are going to have to speak up.”

“Hold on.” I hear her padding to a different room, shutting the door. “Is this better?” she says, louder.

“Yes. I can hear you now,” I joke, remembering the old Verizon commercials.

“Uh, okay.” She doesn’t get it.

Of course not!

“I-I need to ask you a favor,” she stutters.

“Sure, but if you are wanting me to fill in at the club, I can’t. I’m in L.A. and in a couple days, Dallas.”

“Niki, I need you to back off,” she blurts out.

“Excuse me? I don’t think I heard you right,” I say. “I thought you just said you need me to back off?”

“Yes. I did. You see, Gavin has an unhealthy obsession with you.”

Now I’m fuming. Gavin and I are just friends, and there is nothing that will ever come between us. Even now…this can be repaired, but what I think she is asking, I can’t do.

“Gavin and I have been getting closer. Spending more time together, and well...I’m not sure how to say this really…”

“Kara, please, just spit it out. I’m not sure what you are asking of me?”

“Niki, he can’t shake you. Everything we do, apparently, you guys do together. Except for one. Last night, after we both had a few too many, we got intimate, which was totally out-of-this-world mind-blowing. Like the kind of—”

He did what? No! Not with Kara. Please.

“Spare me the details,” I bark. I hate that I’m getting jealous, especially after what I did just an hour or so ago.

“Niki, he called out your name. Yours, not mine.”

Me? Does he? Has he always wanted to…?

“He apologized and said he just hadn’t been with anyone in a long time, but Niki…I think it’s more. You guys do almost everything together, tell each other everything, and honestly, I think I can be that person for him. I can be the one who is there for him in all the ways he needs.”

“I don’t know what to say.” And I really don’t.

“Just say you will give Gavin some breathing room to realize what he has in front of him. Give him a chance at happiness.”

I have always thought the world of Kara, but in this moment, I wish I was there so I could stick my hand down her throat and rip her voice box straight from her body.

Shut the fuck up, Kara!

“I don’t think you realize what you are asking of me. I feel like I need to talk this over with Gavin.”

“Niki, please…he told me you are involved with your boss. So, please…cut the strings so he and I can have a chance.”

Fuck me!

“Kara, I can’t promise you anything, but…” The words are out of my mouth before I can even think. So many times I had imagined us together but was afraid to take the risk.

Refusing to take the risk, you idiot!

Shit! I did this, and now…I can fix it.

“…I’ll give him some breathing room. I’ll back off.”

“Niki! Thank you so much! Gavin makes me so happy. He is definitely a once-in-a lifetime kind of guy.”

Yeah, tell me about it.

“Kara, just make sure…”

“Oh crap, Niki. He’s getting out of the shower. I have to go. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” She ends the call.

What did I do?