I tried my absolute best to text Kira while in Indianapolis. Time flew while at Carrie’s house. The whirlwind of the results set us all into a tailspin and the next thing I knew, we’d been there for six hours.
When it was time to head out to meet mom’s boyfriend, I texted Kira to let her know.
I also text her a few more times while out to dinner with mom and her new boyfriend.
I wanted to focus more of my attention on getting a read on him.
Kira was taking her sweet time responding to my messages and I immediately knew what it meant.
I can’t blame the girl for not trusting me. I’m convinced she loves me, but every time I see her near Austin I want to knock them both upside the head for being close to each other.
My past isn’t one that I’m proud of. I wish I could say I had my fun, and in a way I did, but the whole time I was running.
Consumed with an ache that followed me wherever I went.
There’s only so much fun you can have under those circumstances. So the reality is simple: I did what I did, caused her and others an untold amount of pain, left one mentally unstable bitch obsessed with me, and carry the stains of my past with me.
In the end, it was all for nothing.
Nothing.
I just wish there was a way that Kira could see inside me. Then she wouldn’t have to live with this mistrust.
I know I’m not helping the situation with my secrecy. She’ll know eventually. All of it. Just when it’s over. When all the cards are on the table.
I had dinner with my mom and her boyfriend staring mostly at my phone the whole time. Like the junkie I am, my leg bounced under the table, my body vibrating with the anxiety of no contact.
How the hell did I ever go a year without speaking to her?
Each reply took her nearly an hour to send.
When I tried to call her, she didn’t pick up.
So here I am, driving home at two in the morning, when I know damn well that I’m not going to be able to get into her dorm at this time.
If Kira doesn’t answer my calls, I won’t be able to get her to come down.
And that’s if she’s even home.
I’m already at my exit coming up on the school, when an idea hits me.
I drive past campus to my complex and pull into the closest spot to Ryan’s apartment I can find at this time of night and take off running to his door. He lives on the first floor with Dana. Dialing him, I start ringing his doorbell like a maniac at the same time.
“That better not fucking be you ringing my doorbell like that.”
“Get out here,” I say, tapping my foot impatiently on the floor. Tap. Tap. Tap. Taptaptaptaptaptaptaptap.
A perfect echo of my rampant heartbeat.
Ryan flings his door open in a pair of shorts he probably pulled on when I started knocking. His hair is a hot mess. There are claw marks down his chest. A huge bite mark on his neck.
I envy him that. My Kitty has to be careful where she marks me. They can’t be visible, because people have to be judgmental and can’t mind their own goddamn business.
“Give me that.” I snatch his cell out of his hand.
“What the—”
I hold my finger up to silence him, hang up the call with me, and dial Kira’s number.
She picks up on the first ring.
And I hear what sounds like traffic and people laughing in the background.
“Hey Ryan, what’s—”
“Where are you?” I ask.
She falls silent on the other end.
“Kira, don’t make me look for you. Because I will.”
“Oh, my God. Fuck you. You don’t get to talk to me like that after how you’ve been acting.”
She wants to fight.
Okay. Fine. But we’re doing it face to face. “I’ll track you down. I swear to fucking God I will.”
She hangs up on me.
I let my head fall back and take a few deep breaths. Breaths that sound more like growls.
“What the fuck is going on?”
I ignore Ryan’s question. “Please ask Dana to find out where Jenna is. She’s probably with Kira.”
It’s a long shot, but it’s also a start.
Ryan takes his phone from me. Shaking his head, he heads back into his apartment. I stay out here, keys in hand, ready to fly like a bat out of hell to that woman.
He comes back less than five minutes later. “Dick’s Den. And you’re going to tell me what the fuck is going on between you two. I’m not blind!”
He’s calling after me from the doorway because at this point I’m already at my car.
The only reason I don’t speed? Nothing in this world is going to get between me and Kira. Especially not some cop.
Kira’s standing outside the bar with Jenna when I pull up. Jenna sees me first and her eyes widen at the sight of me.
Kira turns to see what she’s looking at just as I slam out of my car. The outrage on her face is almost comical. “What the fuck? You don’t control me!” She stomps her foot to emphasize her point.
“You’re done drinking,” I snap, partially because it’s true, but also for show.
She takes a few steps backward away from me. “I’m not going anywhere with you, you asshole! And fuck Ryan for telling you where I am.”
I bend down and lift her up unto my shoulder.
Kicking, hissing, and screaming, but I get her on there.
Jenna steps forward. “Brayden, maybe you should chill with the big brother display.”
She’s trying to hint that we’re making a scene and people are watching.
As if I’m not aware.
“Good night, Jenna.” I open the back of my car, throw Kira into it, and close the door before she can scramble out.
She tries to open the door.
I’m already holding down the button to keep the doors locked.
Glaring at me like she hates me, she slaps on the window.
I ignore it and head back to the driver’s side. Using one hand to hold the key and the other to continue pressing on the button, I open the driver side door and hop in.
Kira tries to open the door.
I take off without even putting on my seat belt. Now I’m speeding. I have my cargo and I don’t give a fuck about anything but keeping her in the back.
She might want to kill me, but she’s not jumping out of a car going full speed.
“I should fucking slap you!” She kicks the back of my seat.
“Yeah? I should fucking spank the shit out of you. Now calm the fuck down.”
She kicks the back of my seat again. “You’re such a typical man. You can do whatever the hell you want. Lie to me. Leave me hanging. But when you want me to heel like a fucking dog, I’m supposed to just give in.”
“That’s not what this is about!”
“Open this goddamn door!”
“No!” I need to calm the hell down. I know that. But she isn’t going anywhere and she better start understanding that.
All the stress of the last few months is thrumming through my veins. The tension is too much. The last thing I need is to fight with her.
“Let me out of this car, Brayden.”
That deceptively calm tone isn’t fooling me. “No.”
She tries swinging at me.
I catch her arm mid-air without turning my eyes from the road. “I’m not fucking cheating on you.”
Her foot presses to the back of my seat and she uses the leverage to try and get her arm out of my hand. “I wish I could believe you!”
I tighten my hold on her arm, driving with one hand. “It breaks my fucking heart that you don’t.”
“Do you think you can just lie to me? Hide things from me? That you can leave me behind whenever you feel like it and it’s not going to be suspicious?”
“What you really mean is that a whore like me can’t change his ways.” We’re almost at the house at this point. I just need to get her in there. Everything else can be figured out once I’ve secured her by my side.
“Who the hell told you to be such a whore then? Oh, wait. Your cock had complete control back then.” She pulls with all her might and I have no choice but to let her go. Either that or hurt her arm.
“Not as much as it has now.” Stay calm, I remind myself. I’m already hurting. With the whole shit about Emily, my mind is fucked up.
Now Kira doesn’t trust me and although I don’t blame her, she’s killing me with this.
“Like I’m supposed to believe that?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I yell back at her, my temper hanging on by a leash. I’m not really angry at her; I’m just pissed at this entire stupid situation.
At the travesty of who my father is.
“Have you not noticed how insatiable I am when it comes to you?” I ask her in a calmer tone.
“You’ve always been insatiable when it comes to sex!”
Now I know the girl is drunk.
Drunk and spoiling for a fight.
And if she doesn’t stop and listen to me, I’m going to end up giving it to her.
God help us.
I park back in the same spot I’d taken twenty minutes ago. As soon as I’m out the car, Kira is out the car as well.
Only she’s not walking toward me.
She’s walking in the direction of her dorm.
“This is the last time you’ll ever try to leave me,” I vow to her and myself in a low voice.
Then I’m running.
By the time Kira hears my pounding footsteps, it’s too late.
I’ve got her. “Enough. You love me. I love you. Stop this shit.”
She falls limp at my comment.
I sigh with relief and head inside. She’s over my shoulder again, and I can’t see her expression.
I open the door to my apartment and walk inside.
Kira starts crying, small almost silent sobs.
The sound of them kills me every time. And I’m the one responsible for them almost every damn time I hear them. My chest tight, I put her on her feet.
She shoves me back hard enough that I stumble backwards into the door. “How dare you throw me loving you in my face after lying to me for weeks?”
It’s the closest she’s come to admitting out loud that she loves me.
Whatever elation bubbles up is killed by her next words.
“Maybe you’re not cheating on me, fine, but the mere fact that you’re shutting me out and lying to me about things shows me that you’re never going to change.”
I stare at her, jaw unhinged, disbelief scrambling my brain.
She starts walking away from me, farther into the apartment.
I push off the door and follow.
Kira stops near the couch and starts pacing, as if working off extra energy. “Why am I even bothering to build something with you and change my beliefs about you, when you’re still engaging in the same behavior that tore us apart in the first place?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Now I’m yelling. At the top of my motherfucking lungs.
My neighbors are going to hear this fight and I don’t give a damn.
My yell startles her and she freezes mid step.
“You know I’ve changed for you! I’ve done everything to regain your trust!”
She snaps out of her stupor and comes up to me, slamming her finger into my chest. “You’re such a fucking liar!”
“What is wrong with you?” I snap in her face. “Are you looking for an excuse to leave me?”
“You’re giving me those all on your own!”
My hand snaps around her wrist, and I hold her so tight I know it’s hurting her. “You’re not fucking leaving me again. Do you hear me? I love you too fucking much to let you go.”
“Oh really? Then why the secrecy? Why the lies?”
“I told you I would tell you—”
“Why the fuck did you suddenly lock me out of your phone?”
Her shrill yell pierces some of the angry haze covering my vision.
That’s what set her off.
Why she’s full-blown paranoid now.
Kira moves faster than I can keep up. In what seems like one smooth move, she yanks her wrist out of my loosened grip and manages to get my cell out of my pocket.
Everything slows down.
The phone is still locked and she doesn’t have the code, but I never changed the notification preview on the lock screen.
And it’s lighting up.
Something’s coming through.
I try to reach for her and the phone. She runs away, stopping by the other side of the couch, and I see the fury in her eyes multiply.
“When can I see you again? Emily?” Her voice is shaking. She’s shaking. Her entire body is a maelstrom of vibrating pain, so potent that it reaches me all the way over here.
Emily.
My little sister.
The one my mom and I chipped in money to buy a phone for and put it under my mom’s plan.
The need to yell those words at Kira is drowned out by a brutal reality.
She truly does think I would cheat on her.
Someway, somehow, I’ve failed to show her how obsessed with her I am. That there would never be anyone but her.
Either that, or her wounds are too deep to ever heal. To ever allow her to truly trust me again.
The stress of the last few weeks explodes inside me. Every fucked up aspect of my life roars into my heart at once, igniting a rage that frightens the shit out of me.
“Who. Is. Emily? Answer me.” Kira let’s my phone drop onto the couch.
I glare at her, and I’m aware that I’m probably staring at her like I hate her.
Right now, I think I kind of do.
“What the fuck else does a man have to do to prove to you his love?” I whisper to her and even to my own ears the words sound menacing.
Kira grabs the lamp off the end table and flings it into the wall. “WHO THE FUCK IS EMILY?”
“MY FUCKING SISTER!”
She gasps.
I don’t care. Fuck her shock. Stomping up to her, I grab her and pull her to me as I sit on the couch, laying her across my lap, her groin just above mine.
“Your what?” She tries to lift her body off the couch.
I refuse to let her, already reaching under her to pop the button on her jeans.
Kira squirms in my grip, trying to get off.
I lower her zipper, slam one hand down on her ass, and grind my fully swollen dick up into her.
Another gasp.
Just like that, the anger melts out of her.
Good for her. I’m still raging.
I pull her pants roughly down over her hips and take her panties with them.
“Wait a second—Brayden! What are you doing?”
What we’ve been both dying for me to do. The only thing that can hopefully calm me the fuck down.
I slap one perfectly round ass cheek, hard enough to make it sting.
Kira inhales sharply. “What the fuck?”
As pissed as I am, I still take my time rubbing the cheek I just spanked, making sure the sting melts into pure heat.
One deep breath and I have to let my head fall back with a groan.
I smell her. Rising up from that juicy pussy. Getting wetter with every second I rub her.
Fucking hell, this girl’s scent is powerful. Drugging. I’ve never been with another girl whose pussy smelled this good or whose scent could be smelled from this far.
I spank her other cheek just as hard.
This time, she can’t hold back a little moan.
“Yeah. This is what you fucking want.” I still sound angry—I am beyond livid with her. With everything. Tone harsh, I growl, “You want me to punish your annoying little ass for doubting how much I love you.”
“Br-Brayden. Wait.”
I spank her again in another spot. I’ve been researching for weeks. Learning the best way to spank someone so they don’t end up bruising. Distributing the spanks in different areas of her ass is the key.
I land another three spanks. Don’t know if she’s shocked, horny, or both, but she’s utterly still, the only movements are those that come from her gasps and her round butt jiggling with each spank.
Pausing to let her ass adjust, I caress the bright pink flesh and admire how fucking sexy that looks.
Kira whimpers, her hips rotating. “What are you doing?”
“I told you. What you want me to do.” I slide two of my fingers down to rub her hot, slick pussy lips, collecting all that sweet honey.
She cries out, trying to get me to fuck her with my fingers.
I’m going to.
Without warning, I slide my fingers up her crack and slide two of them straight into her tight ass.