“How’s your head?” I ask as I step up behind Kira, wrapping my arms around her waist.
She smiles at me in the mirror and adjusts her hair in an attempt to cover the bruising and scab. There’s a butterfly stitch near her hairline and bruises around her eye that she’s tried to cover up. It won’t change anything. We’ve been hiding all weekend at a hotel, partially thanks to my busted door, but we’ve seen the backlash on social media.
There’s been righteous indignation from some of Jennifer’s believers, and those who were silent, wanting to ride the “she was right” train. Then the Jenn haters and their “bitch had it coming.”
Support, disgust, and the overwhelming silence from Jenn. Her parents had her delete all of her accounts and she was gone, back home, before dawn broke.
Kira shrugs. “It’s okay. Need some aspirin though.” She tilts her head back to look up at me, reaching up to caress my face. “Stop it.”
I scrunch my brow at her, trying to figure out what she’s talking about.
She heaves a sigh and turns in my arms, wrapping hers around my neck. “You keep blaming yourself for everything lately. You need to stop.”
Leaning down, I rest my forehead on hers. “It’s really hard not to, Kitty.”
“It’s going to be fine. We’ll figure it all out.”
I hope so. Today’s our first day back at school after everything that went down.
Our first day out there, in front of everyone, as a couple.
Officially, that is.
I’m excited.
Wary.
Another thing I hope? That everyone understands I’ll do anything to protect my girl.
They better leave her the fuck alone.
I kiss Kira on the forehead. “Come on. Let’s go. We can’t be late.”
“Just look at her. Walking around here. Holding hands with him like she’s proud of it.”
“Let it go. It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it does! They ruined that girl’s life and the whole time she had been telling the truth. And God, who does that? Fuck their stepbrother? I wouldn’t even think of mine like that!”
“Yours is twelve and nowhere near as hot as Brayden Hunt.”
“Still, it’s so disgusting and like I said, they ruined that Henrich’s girl’s life.”
We ruined Jennifer’s life.
Fucking laughable.
I leave it alone though and stay in the bathroom stall, not giving away my presence.
Yeah. It’s that bad. A girl can’t even take a piss without hearing this shit.
Oddly, it doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it once would. Their ignorance and willingness to believe whatever is annoying as hell, but I also recognize this for what it is.
Jealousy.
I, Kira Roth, am officially the envy of the entire female population at OSU.
Brayden walked in with me this morning, his arm around me, and eyes blazing down at me with love and need.
And I’ve never loved him more.
Fuck the stares. I’ve been walking around all day with my head held high no matter what they throw at me.
The people that truly matter know the truth about what went down. That’s enough for me.
The door leading into the bathroom opens. I hear a third girl greet the other two shit-talkers.
“You’re still going on about the whole thing?” the newcomer asks.
“I told her to let it go.”
“They both deserve all the shit they’re getting. It’s just so wrong.”
The new girl laughs. “You’re just jealous ‘cause you had plans to hop on that dick.”
See? Told you.
“Not now. He’s gross as hell for fucking his sister.”
“Stepsister. They aren’t really related. And I heard their parents got married only three and a half years ago. And they knew each other their whole lives. You know that boy was already fine as hell by the time that all happened. I don’t blame her for setting her sights on him.”
“Whatever,” the main hater in the group scoffs.
I hear them get their things together and head out. Sighing, I grab my own things and finally exit the stall to wash my hands.
It’s been like this all day. It isn’t heartbreaking, just exhausting.
My friends however?
Man, someone’s going to go to jail.
Ironically, I think that someone’s going to be Dana. Earlier, I got several texts. Most of them were a string of red-faced, enraged emojis.
Not the iPhone ones like her phone has, mind you. Dana took the time to screenshot the Samsung ones, their teeth bared in pure rage, and sent it to me so I’d understand how serious she was.
That girl is fucking nuts.
They were followed by, Your brother wants me to leave for the day. He doesn’t understand I’m taking someone down with me when I go.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
This is what I mostly feared about the world finding out. The people I love are getting hit with this backlash even harder than me and Brayden are.
Because Brayden and I no longer care about anything but being together.
But fuck them. Seriously, fuck every single person attacking us at this school. I don’t care.
I just can’t wait to go home for Thanksgiving break and spend time surrounded by all the people that matter to me.
I hear Brayden on his cell in the other room and my heart melts at the tone of his voice.
He was always meant to be this. An older brother. He has such a big, loving heart, and he’s slipped into the role so easily.
I chew on my thumbnail, nervous, waiting for him to come in.
Emily’s been asking to meet me. From what I gather, she’s been alone most of her life. Just her and her mom. She’s eager to meet all of us, but mostly me.
Brayden says it’s because he can’t shut up about me.
I called him my adorable dork.
Which he is.
He opens the door to the bedroom and peeks inside. When he sees me destroying my thumbnail, he scowls and slaps my hand lightly away from my mouth.
I pout at him.
“Yeah, she’s here. Worried about talking to you.” He smiles down at me. “Emily says not to be worried. She loves you already because I adore you.”
I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately, but everything he does brings tears to my eyes. I can’t handle the force of the love I feel for this man.
Still smiling, he hands me the phone. “Here.”
I am nervous to meet her. Well, talk to her. Swallowing, I bring the phone to my ear. “Hi Emily.”
“Hiiiiiiiii!”
I cringe and resist the urge to pull the phone away from my ear. A smile tugs at the corner of my lips. “How are you?”
“I’m awesome! Having Brayden in my life has made everything so much better.”
That smile breaks free. “Yeah. Trust me, I know the feeling,” I say, still staring up into his eyes.
He stares down at me questioningly.
“He talks about you all the time.”
“He talks about you all the time, too,” I tell her. We both giggle at that.
Brayden rolls his eyes and walks out of the room, leaving me alone to get to know his sister.
“Brayden said we’ll all be together for Thanksgiving.” The excitement in Emily’s tone makes my heart clench.
“Yup. And you’ll get to go shopping with me and Dana.” I’ve just decided this now, and I’ll have to get Dana to agree, but I want to do this for Emily.
“Oh my God! Really?”
I smile again.
“You guys are all so epic. I wish I had met you all sooner.”
Blinking back tears, I stare at the closed door Brayden just went through. This situation is hard on me. This little girl is such a sweetheart and she’s gone through a lot not having a father in her life.
I can only imagine how hard this has been on Brayden. “Trust me, we all feel the same way. But we’re going to make up for lost time, right?”
Emily readily agrees and we spend the next thirty minutes on the phone, getting to know each other.
Hanging up the call, I go in search of Brayden. I find him in the living room, his laptop on his lap.
He takes one look at my face and jumps off the couch. “Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?”
The tears I’ve been holding in start rushing out. “She’s just so nice, and I feel so bad for the both of you—”
Brayden crushes me to his chest. “Oh, baby. There’s nothing any of us could’ve done. Please don’t cry.”
I snuggle deeper into his arms, wrapping my arms tight around him. More than ever, I understand how he ended up screwing things up as much as he did. It’s no excuse and doesn’t erase all the years of pain, but how could he have done better?
He didn’t know how.
Fucked up, emotionally scarred, he tried his best to deal with his screwed up life without having the skills needed to properly cope. To make the right decisions.
Just like me.
“Stop crying, baby. You know it breaks my heart,” he whispers, kissing my cheek.
I turn my head and kiss his lips hard. “I love you, Brayden.”
He exhales against my lips. It amazes me how I’ve said it to him so many times now, and his relief is still palpable every time I do.
“I love you, Kira. Forever, you hear me? Forever.”
There’s something in his tone when he says that. Something I can’t quit place. “I’ll love you even longer than that, Brayden.”
“You better fucking mean that.”
November 25, 2015
Pulling up to my mom’s house is exciting. There’s a smile covering my face, because I am the happiest I’ve ever been when coming here.
Kira’s by my side, and seeing her place for only the second time—the first time when we moved Sonia in. Ryan is in the car behind us with Dana. They’re headed to her family’s house on Friday night after the girls go on a shopping trip with Emily.
Getting out of the car, we grab our bags and head to the door. I twirl through the keys, locating the house key, but Kira’s to the door first and twists on the door handle.
“Shit.”
Kira turns to me in the open door. “What?”
I stomp up the stairs. “Mom!”
“Hi, my baby,” she says from the island. Her smile fades. “What’s wrong?”
“The door was unlocked again. What have I told you about that?”
She folds her arms over her chest and I can hear a little giggle behind me that I’ll deal with in a minute.
She rolls her eyes at me and steps forward, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. “Brayden, my sweet boy, you said you were coming at noon. Sonia and I ran an errand and just got back so I went ahead and unlocked it.”
I glare at her but she just rolls her eyes at me and walks around me.
“Hi, honey.”
“Hi Abigail,” my girl says sweetly and they hug. “Where’s my mom?”
“Here, my impatient daughter.” Sonia comes walking down the hallway into the open kitchen/ living room area. She and Kira hug right as Ryan and Dana walk inside.
Sonia heads to greet them next.
I walk in front of my mother, blocking her path, and cross my arms. “We’re not done here, mother.”
“Yes we are, child of mine.”
“Your safety. Important. When did you forget this?”
I’m ignored.
“You must be Dana,” Mom says as she pushes past me.
Turning around, I glare after her again.
“You are sometimes too cute,” Kira says, pulling me down for a kiss.
The touch of her lips silences any protest about being called cute.
Taking my hand, she tugs me over to where Sonia is. Her hand is still wrapped up in the splint from her surgery, but the rest of her looks a lot better than she did the last time I saw her.
In fact, she looks lighter, like a weight has been lifted. And it has, one the size of a forty-seven-year-old bastard.
Which is very telling for how her meeting went with the lawyers yesterday, a topic we’ve all very anxious to hear about.
Sonia’s arms are wrapped tightly around Kira, kissing the top of her head.
“How are you doing?” Kira asks. It’s more than just the usual, mundane question one asks someone they know. My girl’s been concerned about her mother on a near obsessive level the last few weeks.
Sonia smiles, a genuine smile that lights up her eyes. I can almost feel Ryan vibrating with curiosity, even with his stone face. They both called yesterday, but she refused to tell them anything, waiting until we all arrived.
“Let’s sit,” she says.
We set our bags on the floor and move into the family room. Ryan sits on the couch, Dana next to him. There’s no way I’m letting Kira away from me for this, so I pull her to one of the sofa chairs, and onto my lap. Mom takes the other chair and Sonia the far end of the couch.
“Spill,” Ryan says, not wanting to be put off a minute longer.
Sonia takes a deep breath. “I’ve dropped the charges against Steven.”
Silence blankets the room before an eruption of anger.
“What?”
“No!”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
Each of us are practically screaming out our strong disapproval.
It doesn’t even phase her. She simply holds up her hands to quiet us. “Are you going to let me finish?”
Ryan looks like he’s about to commit murder, and I’m right there with him. I’m sure Dana and Kira will help us hide the body.
Once the room is silent, but vibrating, she continues. “We came to an arrangement and made a deal.”
My fingers dig into Kira’s thigh; her’s into my shoulder.
“And?” Kira prompts.
“Due to what happened, Steven has agreed to a speedy divorce and it will be finalized in the next few weeks. He will be paying me alimony for the next two years while I get back on my feet.”
“He should,” Ryan says.
Sonia nods. “I have agreed to drop the charges against him in exchange for this.”
Kira shakes her head. “Wait, that doesn’t seem like it’s enough.”
“That was what was agreed to with the lawyers and it’s binding. However, outside of that, I made certain he knew that should he try and fight Carrie’s child support claim, everyone will find out what he did.”
“A few weeks . . .” Ryan’s jaw twitches. “How do you know he’ll do it all, not fight it once you’ve dropped the charges?”
“I’ve made sure. My lawyer has arranged in the divorce that I get to sue him even if the state drops the charges against him, and that stands until the divorce is finalized.”
“That way it ensures that no matter what, even if something should happen to you, he’ll end up paying in some way,” I say.
She nods. “I don’t trust him without some sort of insurance. After meeting with the lawyer, I feel like I have that.” A smile breaks out on her face. “For the first time in years, I feel so light.”
Seeing her happy and excited, lightens the guilt I’ve been holding onto since I got that phone call in the middle of the night.
It was worth it. All the time, the lies, to see her like this.
Saving her from him saved us all.
“I just can’t believe . . .” Sonia trails off sadly, her eyes flickering to my mother. “I was such a fool, Abigail. I can’t ever apologize enough.”
My mother waves her away. “You actually freed me from him, and for that I’m grateful. I’m just sorry you had to go down in the process.”
Sonia covers her face with her hands.
Kira shifts on my lap. “Mom—”
Sonia raises her head. “Never again. I promise you, Ryan. Kira. I’ll never be such an idiot ever again.”
Kira’s off my lap in a flash, rushing to hug her mother. Ryan joins them and I can only sit here and watch, my throat tight with emotion for all of them.
It’s not a happy end. Not by far. But at least I know in my gut that we’re all finally heading in that direction.
November 26th, 2015
Thanksgiving Day
I run my fingers up and down Kira’s arm. She’s asleep, her breath blowing across my chest. This right here, her in my arms, is what was always supposed to be.
Lying in my bed at my mom’s is perfection. It isn’t just her though. It’s my mom down the hall, Sonia in the spare bedroom, and Ryan and Dana camped out downstairs. It’s Carrie and Emily coming over, and spending the day with my family. My whole family.
These are the things I’m thankful for.
“That feels good.”
I glance down. Her eyes are closed, but she snuggles in and lets out a contented sigh.
“Good, but we do need to get up. We promised to help.”
She nods, her eyes fluttering open. “It’s hard to get up when I’m so comphy.”
“Oh, Kitty, don’t say that.”
“Why?”
“Because you make me want to stay.”
She lets out a little giggle before placing her hand on my chest and pushing herself up to a sitting position. Her fingers crawl around my skin, around the K inked over my heart.
“I need to take a shower. Wanna join me?”
Fuck.
My dick twitches, morning wood in full affect. “Hell yes.”
Three hours later we’re in the kitchen, peeling a ten pound bag of potatoes when the doorbell goes off. Kira’s eyes light up, the peeler slipping from her hand into the sink, and she runs down the stairs.
I join her, knowing who’s at the door.
Emily throws herself at Kira immediately, as if they’re long-lost best friends reuniting.
Kira catches my wraith of a little sister up against her and twirls her around.
So much love, and all for a girl she has never even met before.
It’s not the first time I see Kira’s potential to be a great mom one day.
The weight in my pocket feels heavier, taunting me, and my skin breaks out in a cold sweat.
I can’t wait to do this. I won’t wait a second longer.
But the girl better agree.
She’ll say yes.
Won’t she?
It’s too soon for me to have forgotten everything we’ve gone through. Nothing stands between us now except years of brutal memories.
I’m willing to push past all of it, but can I really blame her if she’s not?
“Brayden!” Emily comes running at me like a hurricane of sisterly love, ripping me out of my panicked thoughts.
I catch her up in a tight hug.
Carrie is smiling at the both of us with so much happiness that it breaks my heart.
It’s a whirlwind of activity as Sonia, my mom, Ryan, and Dana all join us and welcome Carrie.
I’m not surprised when Dana hits it off with Emily right away.
Kira and Dana are sitting on the couch with Emily and I stand at the edge of the living room watching.
Ryan stops next to me, analyzing the scene as well. “Your little sis is really sweet.”
I smile at him, surprised by the burst of warmth and pride in my chest. “Yeah. I still can’t believe I have one sometimes, you know.”
He nods in that wise way of his. “Yes. You do. And she looks like the blond version of you. It’s scary how much you guys look alike.”
“Like you and Kira?”
Another nod. “Exactly.” Sighing, he claps my shoulder. “And now, my friend, one day, you’re going to know.”
My stomach drops suddenly at his hidden meaning. “Oh God, no . . .”
His smirk is pure evil. “Oh God, yes. It’s going to happen bro.”
I shake my head even though I know I’m being utterly ridiculous. My little sister is going to grow up one day. It’s inevitable. Besides, I just met her. I shouldn’t be suffocating on this much brotherly protectiveness.
I look at Emily, then look at Kira.
Then, making sure I bring out as much contrition as any human being can muster, I face Ryan again. “Dude, you’re a better person than I can ever be. You were never going to stop me. Nothing was. But thank you for not breaking my face more than you did. I could never be like you.”
He laughs good naturedly. “Tell that to my girl. Maybe one day she’ll believe you. She thinks I’m full of shit sometimes and a little too ‘holier than thou.’”
She might have a point but this isn’t the time to even try and bring that up.
Mom and Sonia walk into the living room holding trays of snacks.
The panic returns.
Ryan catches one glimpse of my expression and his eyes widen. “Now? You’re doing it now?”
Of course I spoke to him about this. Their father passed away a long time ago, so Ryan had to fill as a stand in.
I went traditional. Asked his permission and all that.
Sure, he threw in my face that I didn’t ask for permission to be with her, but that was all in good fun. He agreed happily.
I nod at him and gesture for him to join everyone by the couches.
Holy crap.
Fuck me.
Help my heart.
I’m panicking big time and it’s not just because I’m actually going to do this.
It’s because that girl might just shatter me to ashes in the next few minutes.
Ryan sits next to Dana and his eyes cut in my direction. “Everyone?” he calls, making sure they all quiet down. “Can we chill for a sec? Brayden has something he wants to get off his chest.”
Kira’s eyes immediately find mine, worried, anxious.
I love how she cares for me.
And in that second, I decide, fuck it. She can say no if she wants. That’s fine. I’ll just keep asking again and again until she says yes.
Eyes on her, I walk straight to her, ignoring everyone around. She starts to stand but I shake my head, silently asking her to remain seated.
Then, before my fear can get the best of me, I pull the small black velvet box out of my pocket and drop down to one knee in front of her.
Everyone but Ryan gasps.
Shaking inside, I open it, letting Kira see the princess cut diamond ring I’ve been hiding for weeks now.
I can’t tell if that’s shock or horror on her face.
“Kira Paisley Roth, I refuse to be without you in my life for a single minute ever again. I know I’m fucked up, but I’ve been yours from the first moment I laid eyes on you. It doesn’t have to be now, but someday. Will you marry me and be mine for the rest of our lives? Be with me always, because I can never be without you again.”
Kira’s mouth is hanging open. Tears are gathering in her eyes. She says nothing.
“We don’t have to get married right away. We can have a really long engagement. I just want you to walk around wearing this ring. Knowing what it means. I want the whole world to see it on you, for them to know what it means.”
Still, she says nothing.
Fuck. I’m really trembling now. “Woman, I’ll hound you. I’ll make your life annoying as hell every single day until you say yes.”
Kira finally blinks and a tear leaks out of each eye. “You want to marry me?”
My heart breaks. “Baby, you’re fucking everything to me. Please don’t tell me you haven’t realized that yet.”
She starts sobbing.
Uncontrollably.
Body-shaking cries that completely overwhelm her.
Choking on her tears, she covers her mouth, little brow scrunched as if she’s in pain.
What the fuck? “Kira?”
She moves so fast I can’t keep up.
One moment, she’s sobbing on the couch.
The next, her body is slamming onto mine and I’m falling backwards onto the floor.
Somehow, my fist tightens automatically around the box.
I blink up at the ceiling. On top of me, a sobbing Kira kisses me all over the face. Wrapping one arm around her, I twist my head and catch one of those wet kisses on my lips. “Tell me this is a yes.”
“YES!”
God damn it. She almost killed me with worry. Melting with relief, I crush her to me, burying my face in her hair.
All around us, everyone breaks out into cheers.
“I love you,” I whisper repeatedly in her ear, eyes closed as I breathe through the last of my nervous energy.
“I love you. You have no idea. I can’t even believe—oh my God, Brayden.”
I sit up, easing her back with me. It’s hard to push her away when all I want is more of those kisses, but something more important has to be done.
I take her small hand into mine and slip the ring onto her ring finger.
The sight of it there floors me.
Kira starts crying harder. “It’s beautiful. I love it. I love you. I don’t know why I can’t stop crying. I’m so happy, I swear.”
Her emotional rambling brings a huge smile to my face.
I hear every one around us, congratulating us. My mom and Sonia very loudly agreeing that this better be a “very long” engagement, saying we’re too young to get married and we have to get through school first.
I think I hear Dana ribbing Ryan about how I’ve outdone him. Ryan responds with, “You have no idea what’s coming your way woman, so shut it.”
Everyone is ignored because all I can do, as I sit on this floor with Kira sitting in front of me, her hand in mine and that ring glinting in the light, is stare into my girl’s eyes as she stares into my own.
My woman.
The love of my life.
My best friend.
My reason for becoming the man I was supposed to be.
My future wife.
Every emotion I’m feeling right now is flashing through her eyes. We’ve been connected together, on a level that defies understanding, from the first moment we met.
That connection seems to take on an even greater meaning now.
Our road has been more fucked up than two people should ever have to deal with. It’s been twisted, and downright dirty at times. For a while there, it also went wrong. So, so wrong.
But it was our road, and even when we were apart, somehow this connection got us through it together. And that connection is what kept everything right in the end.
I don’t know if soulmates are real, but if they are, she’s undoubtedly mine. A force in my very DNA I could never deny.
One I could never live without.
Things aren’t perfect. They probably never will be, but that’s okay. Coming out has put targets on our backs. The world has decided to brand us for now. Judge us.
But they’ll never tear us down.
I have my issues.
Thanks to me, she now has her own.
But we’re going to get through this next round, however bad or great it is, the way we should’ve gotten through the first one.
Together.
Always together.
And now, there’s nothing anyone in the world can do to stop us.