Chapter Eleven

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Leah

 

 

 

“Are you almost ready?”

Eleanor was at her bathroom mirror, meticulously applying eyeliner, and she didn’t so much as blink at my sudden presence in the doorway. She was already dressed in a snug purple dress, and her hair looked finished, though it was hard to tell sometimes. My sister would most likely skip the party altogether and spend the entire evening getting ready if she could.

“Almost,” she said, switching to the other eye. “You know, you could go down without me. You don’t need a wingman in your own house.”

I crossed my arms and leaned against one shoulder against the doorjamb. “No way. It’s all your mom’s friends, and Dad is still pissed off at me. I’m not going into that alone.”

“I don’t think he’s that upset anymore. He seems to have calmed down about it.”

“That’s how you know he is upset. When he’s calm.”

She just softly shook her head into her own reflection, not agreeing or disagreeing.

“Anyway,” I continued. “I also want to hang out with you. I never see you anymore. What are you doing all the time? Are you dating someone?”

Her forehead moved into the slightest pucker. “Ew. No.”

“You still haven’t moved past your boys are gross phase?”

“It’s not a phase.” She chucked the eyeliner down onto the counter and finally turned to face me.

“What about girls, then?”

“I’m not really interested in either. I have better things to do than mess with that kind of drama.”

I shrugged. “I never really dated in high school, either. I knew most of the guys too well, and I always had a shadow that would have made it really awkward.” I paused, and then asked, “Doesn’t it bother you, though? The way Dad won’t let you go anywhere without a babysitter, and the way he tracks your every movement?”

“Not really. I guess I’m just used to it. It would feel weird if they weren’t there. I wouldn’t feel safe from all the pervy old guys leering at me on the street.”

I imagined she probably did get a lot of that. But, still. “I’m almost out of college, and he still won’t stop with the constant security and running my life. Sending someone to kidnap me from Mom’s house was just…ugh. It was humiliating.”

She gave a helpless shrug, almost like she was apologizing on Dad’s behalf. “He just wants to keep us safe. And I don’t think it was only about you being in California. He knew what you’d be going into out there, you know?”

I couldn’t help but stiffen as a fresh wave of pain hit me. “Whatever,” I mumbled, signaling that I didn’t want to talk about it. Eleanor would never understand, anyway. She was the model daughter who did everything right, and she was comfortable with her life in a way I had never been. For her, there was no need for anything to change.

“What happened with that guy, anyway? Did he really kidnap you?”

“Yes, with Dad’s full blessing. He literally handcuffed me in a hotel room.” I omitted the small detail of what – or who – he’d cuffed me to.

Her eyes bugged out. “Wait, you stayed with him in a hotel room? Like, overnight?”

“Seriously? That’s the part you’re fixating on?”

Looking only slightly chastised, she shrugged and said, “Well, I mean, he didn’t hurt you or anything, did he?”

I shook my head, pushing my weight off the door ledge. “Too little, too late. Let’s go.”

 

 

Liz’s parties were pretty casual, centered in the front family room but leaking into the kitchen, dining room, and the media room at the back of the house. The open bar and appetizer table were in the family room, so that was where most guests tended to gather. Liz appeared out of nowhere shortly after we made an entrance, agilely stepping between us so she could direct us to some people she wanted us to greet. Blond and thin, Liz was glamorous in a much more classic way than Eleanor; she was all Chanel dresses and Louboutin heels and tasteful chignons. She used to practice corporate law but now ran a designer stationary and greeting card company, and she always seemed vaguely distracted, like her brain had moved onto something else. She and I were basically like casual acquaintances who’d somehow managed to share a house together for eleven years. We got along, probably even loved each other in a way, but our relationship had never progressed much beyond the surface.

However, you’d never know any of this by the way she fawned over me in front of her friends. I gamely played along, but was relieved when she let us go, leading us to a couple of people around my age at the buffet table. “You remember Doreen’s daughter, Audrey? And this is Audrey’s friend – I’m sorry, remind me of your name?”

“Abel,” the guy said, lifting his glass in a cool greeting. He was tall and model-hot, with short, carefully styled brown hair and sharp, chiseled features. Standing beside him was Audrey, short and curvy with long, highlighted blond hair, and a smile on her face that was warm and slightly mischievous. Yeah, I remembered Audrey, though it’d been a while since I’d seen her. She was one of those people who pulled you in with easy, familiar affection, but then seemed to forget you just as easily when the night was over. Secretly, I’d always been a little in awe of her.

Once Liz had floated away, Audrey came forward and wrapped me in a delicate hug. “Leah. And Eleanor. I think you were just a kid last time I saw you.”

“I’m still a kid,” my sister said, deadpan. She stiffened as she received the same hug, scrunching up her face at me over the girl’s shoulder.

“Hardly. You’re, like, ridiculously hot now. You should find me on Instagram.”

Looking Eleanor up and down, Abel said, “I’ve seen your channel on YouTube. My friend Marc is stalker-level obsessed with you.”

Eleanor got this kind of shit all the time, and she always handled it gracefully, like she was an actual celebrity or something. Easily fading into the background, I let my eyes wander across the room until they stopped on a familiar figure standing outside the French doors that led into the foyer. Dominic was dressed in a black suit and tie, the first one I’d seen him wear since that day last year at my dad’s office. He was clearly working the party, watching the crowd and speaking into a small Bluetooth headset, and I was at once annoyed and intrigued by his presence – a feeling I was getting uncomfortably familiar with. And because the universe hated me, he turned and met my eyes not even two seconds after they’d landed on him. He kind of raised his eyebrows in greeting, but I just quickly nodded and looked away. He was cocky enough that he’d probably think I’d been seeking him out on purpose. I still couldn’t believe I’d actually texted him on Sunday. It had seemed okay at the time, but I’d barely talked to him since he came back to work, and now I felt mildly embarrassed about it.

“Fuck, he just looked over here. Speaking of ridiculously hot.” This came from Abel on my right, and I looked at him in surprise. He was plainly watching Dominic and, unlike me, he had no shame about it.

Audrey laughed. “He wasn’t looking at you. No way he likes dick.” When she saw the expression on my face, she explained, “We’ve been entertaining ourselves by perving on your security.”

“I mean, I’d do the ginger, too.” Abel glanced over to where Davis was making his way to Dominic, speaking into his own headset. “But the big one is…”

“Purely fuckable,” Audrey finished, leaning on Abel like she was lacking the strength to stand upright all of a sudden. “Besides, gingers have no souls. Everyone knows that.”

I didn’t recognize the feeling that was rising up in me, but it was sour and uncomfortable and I didn’t like it at all. I glanced at my sister and her face was pinched with revulsion.

“Those are our security guards,” she said, in the same tone one might use if they heard somebody making sexual comments about their grandmother.

Audrey nodded seriously, giving Eleanor a teasingly patronizing look. “Yes, they are.”

Elle mockingly returned the look, making Audrey smile. “He wasn’t looking at either of you, anyway. He was looking at my sister.”

Audrey and Abel’s heads turned toward me in one perfectly synchronized movement. “Why?” Audrey asked, examining me curiously.

“Because he’s her bodyguard,” Eleanor said in a ‘duh’ voice, completely oblivious to any other implications her words might have had.

“He’s your bodyguard? Like, your bodyguard?” She raised her eyebrows and somehow made that last word sound completely filthy.

“Just my bodyguard,” I said, trying to keep the heat from my face. “Without the weird innuendo in your voice just now.”

She watched me for another second or two, then exchanged a glance with Abel that seemed to say, What a waste. She quickly moved on, though. “So what have you been up to, Leah? Still enjoying school?”

“Enjoying isn’t the word I’d use, but it’s going well. I’m ready for it to be over, honestly.”

“Girl, I know that.” She went to Boston University, I remembered, studying journalism. “You been having fun this summer? Been anywhere cool?”

Been anywhere, I echoed in my head. This was a girl who probably traveled the world on the regular, while I barely left New York. “I went to LA for awhile,” I offered casually, pretending it hadn’t been a mere three days of pathetic disappointment. I noticed my sister raise her eyebrows, but she thankfully kept quiet.

“Aw, I love the west coast. I wouldn’t mind moving out there after I graduate, but I guess it all depends on where I land a job.”

“You’ll probably end up doing the local news in some place like Shitkicker, Oklahoma,” Abel said.

“Fuck you! You’re the one ditching me to go to Arkansas.”

Abel groaned, like it was a topic he was sick of. “Oh, my God. I’m sorry. I didn’t know Mason’s family thing was going to be the weekend of Crash when I agreed to go.”

Audrey turned to me. “He’s ditching the Crash festival last minute to go to his fuck buddy’s family reunion. Can you believe that?”

Wanting to stay out of it, I deflected. “What’s the Crash festival?”

“Seriously? It’s the music and art festival they have upstate every summer. Three days of bands, performance artists, fun little vendors, it’s a total blast.”

“That sounds amazing. Who’s playing?”

She rattled off some bands, some I’d even heard of, and I let myself think about how much fun that would be. Just hanging out for three days listening to bands and not worrying about school, Dad, or anything beyond.

“Take Leah,” Abel said then. “There, problem solved. You’re welcome.” He offered the suggestion up like it was nothing, like it didn’t automatically turn the light conversation into something weird and awkward. Well, for me, anyway. Audrey practically lit up at the prospect.

“You want to go? I have an extra VIP pass that was supposed to be Abel’s.”

“Really?” I asked apprehensively, not sure if she was serious or not.

“Yeah. It’d be so much fun. They don’t allow camping anymore since some attendees got out of hand a couple years back, but I have a nearby hotel booked. And I don’t have anyone to share it with now.” She shot a look at Abel, who rolled his eyes and looked away.

“Well, I mean…” I fumbled for words. “It sounds fun, but…you barely know me.”

“What? I’ve known you for years. And I want to know you better. Come on, let’s do it.”

Impulsiveness was natural to Audrey, always had been. She really thought nothing of just inviting me to something like this on a whim, while my head was reeling from the suddenness of it. Could I do it? Go on a trip with a girl I barely know – because, in spite of her words, we barely knew each other – to a three-day long festival? The thought both terrified me and excited me, which meant only one thing according to my own rules: I had to do it. “Yeah, okay,” I heard myself say. “I’m in.”

Eleanor, standing to Audrey’s right, scoffed in disbelief. “What are you talking about? You can’t go to a music festival upstate. Dad would never let you.”

“What? Why?” Audrey looked at my sister, then back at me. “You’re my age, right? Why do you have to get your dad’s permission?”

I sighed, already feeling the grim reality of the situation settling in. “Because, for one, he would be paying.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I already have an extra pass and a room. He wouldn’t have to pay for anything.”

But he still controlled me, whether I liked it or not. Strangely, though, I wasn’t ready to admit defeat. “Send me the details later. Dates, times, hotel info. I’ll give you a definite answer in a few days.”

She squealed like I had said yes. “Awesomeness.”

Abel smirked, nudging Audrey with one arm. “Hide your bodyguard.”

She waved her hand in dismissal. “Please. He’s not even my type. He looks too serious, and I don’t really go for that. I don’t care if he comes, though. It’s all good. Just let me know.”

I agreed that I would, even as my instinct, coupled with Eleanor’s cynical expression, told me it was a lost cause. Audrey had a carefree sort of optimism that was contagious. I stuck with her and Abel for the rest of the evening, even after Eleanor got bored and went upstairs. Just like a few other instances, Audrey became my insta-best friend. We talked and drank too much, I listened to Audrey and Abel hilariously roast each other and tell stories that gave way too much information, and my bodyguard watched it all from a distance. Even without looking, I could feel him watching, an awareness that manifested itself in every nerve in my body. At some point during the evening, I stumbled out in the direction of the bathroom and almost ran into him. He was coming around the stairs from the control room and easily caught me at the waist when I would have tripped in my heels.

“Whoa, there,” he said as I found my balance. “Might be time to cut you off.”

“It’s the heels. I’m not drunk.” I had a buzz, at most, and not all of it was caused by alcohol. If I was being honest with myself, it was him. The way he’d been watching me, the way his hands lingered at my waist before pulling away, the way he moved and breathed and…existed. Shit. Okay, maybe it was time to cut me off.

“If you say so. I’ve seen you toss back more than a couple with your friends out there.”

I gave him a teasing smile. “You were watching me?”

He focused on me with a look I couldn’t describe. “I’m always watching you. It’s my job.” Was it just me, or was his tone absent of the flirting I’d come to expect from him? It made me falter for a second, unsure. But maybe I was reading too much into it.

“Okay. Well, anyway, that girl out there? Her name’s Audrey, and she invited me to a music festival that’s happening upstate in a few weeks.”

His eyebrows rose. “Are you planning on running off again?”

“No. But I really want to go. It’s probably a lost cause, but I’m going to try to convince me dad to let me.”

“Good luck with that.” He had no confidence that my dad would even consider it, that much was clear. It made me deflate a little, just like I had with Eleanor. Starting to move around me, he gestured for me to continue in the direction I’d been going before I ran into him. “Where are you headed?”

“The bathroom.” I paused and then asked, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Why, do you need something?”

Did I need something? “No, but…you’re acting weird. Are you mad about something?”

Sighing, he darted a glance behind him, back toward the party. “I’m not mad, Leah. I’m working.”

“Yeah, and you’ve been working since I met you. You’re acting weird.”

He hesitated, regarding me with that same distant look on his face. Finally he moved in a little closer, like he had come to a decision. “Look, we got off to a crazy start in L.A., and I know I haven’t always acted professionally around you. But that’s honestly not the norm for me. This is the norm. I’m not acting weird. I promise. And it has nothing to do with you, alright?”

His voice was calm, almost reassuring, but his whole demeanor was stiff and distant. It was throwing me off because it was so unfamiliar. There was none of the ease, the playfulness, the joking around that I’d come to expect from him. He was all business, and that served to remind me that’s what I was to him. Just business. Slowly, I said, “Okay. Sorry for keeping you.”

“You’re not. Go ahead, I’ll wait here for you.”

I didn’t need a babysitter to make sure I peed successfully, but after so many years I knew it was useless to argue. Without another word, and with my buzz significantly dampened, I left him there and went on my way.

 

 

Audrey texted me the info on the festival the next day, setting me at ease that it wasn’t something she’d offered on a whim and had already forgotten about. It seemed like she really wanted me to go, which kind of thrilled me. The whole situation thrilled me. It was exactly the type of experience I wanted to have this summer, and it was the perfect opportunity to stop getting distracted by certain bodyguards and start doing what I’d originally set out to do. Not only would this be fulfilling the concert item on my list, it could also open the door for other items. I was still a little unsure how I’d pull off the skinny-dipping with Dom always hovering around, but if the hotel had a pool, it could be done.

Too bad I had to convince my dad to let me go first.

“Are you serious with this right now?” he asked flatly, after I presented him with the basic information.

“Dad, yes. I’ll be with my friend Audrey. She’s Liz’s friend Doreen’s daughter. And you can send as much security as you want. This is something I really want to do. You said that when I came home from California we could talk about finding new ways to explore my freedom.”

“I said safe new ways. I don’t call ten thousand drugged out kids at a concert safe. And I believe the condition was that you had to come home right away, which you did not. Instead I had to send someone out there to get you.” He started typing rapidly on the keyboard of his laptop, eyes on the screen as he continued to speak. “What you need to be doing is thinking about your future and where you’re going after graduation. A music festival in the middle of nowhere should be the last thing on your mind.”

“But people need fun sometimes, Dad. Didn’t you ever do anything fun?”

Instead of answering me, he basically acted as if I hadn’t said anything. His eyes skimmed the screen in front of him. “I don’t like the idea of it. It says here a girl was raped at that festival a few years back.”

I groaned my frustration. “God, that’s so typical of you to find the one bad thing that happened there and use it as the reason I can’t go.”

“I’m sure there have been more than one. Places like that are full of young people who are drinking and doing drugs and have no respect for themselves or anyone else. It’s just asking for trouble.”

“But you can send one of the security team. I’ll be protected. I really wish you would trust me more, though.”

“It’s not you I don’t trust, Leah.”

But I knew that wasn’t true. My father didn’t fully trust anyone but himself, or any situation that wasn’t completely under his control. “Please consider letting me do this. I work my ass off at school, you know I do. And this summer has been awful, though I acknowledge some of that is my fault. I would really, really like to do this.”

“Let me think about it.” When he looked over and saw me still standing there, he added, “Privately.”

I hesitated, even knowing I had to tread lightly so as not to push him too far. “Okay. Thanks. When can I expect an answer? Audrey’s holding the pass and I need to let her know.”

“In a couple of days. And there would be a lot of provisions if I say yes. For one, I don’t like this hotel. I would get you a suite with an add-on room for security, and your security would be with you at all times. They won’t be responsible for your friend, of course. I don’t know. I’ll see.”

I nodded and left the room, trying to conceal my excitement. He was thinking about it already, putting a potential plan together in his head. He was going to say yes.