EPILOGUE
Three months later…
In the blink of an eye, my life had literally blown up in front of me. I couldn’t feel half my body, yet all I could feel was pain; pain that was so commanding and controlling, I wished myself dead.
Then I saw Shane get shot to hell. It was like his life was flashing before my eyes at that moment, not my own—his wife Cassandra and their twin girls, Celine and Cara. I couldn’t get them out of my mind. I’d only seen pictures of them, but they had become important to me because they were important to my combat brother. They were his world; therefore they were a part of mine.
I think back to that day two-and-a-half years ago. It still seems fresh, even the panic that physically runs through my body just from the memory. When Shane went down, all I could see was red. At first I was aware he’d been shot up—I was coherent enough to understand that—but it took me a while to realize his blood and brain matter were splattered all over my face and body, and our comrades were having a hard time deciphering where exactly I had been hit after we’d been carried to the chopper. I remember I kept shouting for them to help Shane, but I really didn’t comprehend that they were shouting at me to be quiet and let them help me…because Shane had already died.
A part of me died too that day and another part of me turned to stone. Sometimes tragedy and loss closes you off to the bright and happy aspects of life, and unfortunately, I was willing to let it. You should never lose sight of those things, but it happens. However, God knows there are only certain heartaches that you need to experience in order for a better road to be paved for you; to open up doors you might not have ever passed through. I feel like that has been my path recently, although I didn’t understand it at the time. Don’t ever ask, “Why is this happening to me…?” The only thing you should be asking is, “What do I need to do to get through this?”
It took quite a lot of anger to get through in order to see this—a lot of cursing and a lot of one-man pity parties—but my eyes have been opened. Had I not experienced those trials, I may have arrogantly gone on with my life without a single shit or concern for another human being. You can look at yourself and think, “Well, I’m not really a bad guy,” …But it’s not until you truly go through the fires of hell that you realize you could be so much more. I’ve learned that now, and I’m thankful for the refining fires I’ve been through. If it has made me cherish the beautiful woman I get to call my wife the way she deserves to be cherished, then I am truly a blessed man. I can only hope my unborn child—and any future children we have—see the potential they have to change not only their own world, but the worlds of others.
I have honestly become a man I can be proud of, and I’m only halfway there.
Kellie wiped the tears from her face as she set the journal entry down. One of the hardest decisions for Tate was to allow her to read his therapy journals, but she was glad she’d been able to do so. This was his most recent entry—one he’d written only a few days ago—and he’d left it by the bed for her to read before he went to work. It was something she knew he was going to continue doing—writing—and she supported him one-hundred-percent.
It made the gift she had for him even more significant. She couldn’t wait to give it to him, and truthfully, she couldn’t believe she’d kept it from him for so long. When the proof copy had arrived, she almost peed herself. After editing one last time and making a few minor formatting changes, she’d received the final copy just yesterday. She hid it in the laundry room until there was a perfect opportunity to show him.
He’d only been working half days at the tattoo parlor since he’d had his hip replacement four weeks ago. She was always ecstatic to see Tate when either of them got home from work, but when he came home around one o’clock that afternoon, she almost couldn’t contain herself.
She could tell he noticed right away, too. It was kind of hard not to when your pregnant wife was jumping up and down with a big ass grin on her face.
“Okay, what happened?” he asked with a huge, gorgeous smile. He kissed her before anything else, and then waited for her to share.
“I have a present for you!” she blurted out.
“For me? And you’re this excited to give it to me?” He cradled her barely-there baby bump in his hands and asked, “How are you feeling?”
“Fine. How’s your hip feeling today?”
He bobbed his head. “Pretty good. And you’re sure you’re feeling okay? No morning sickness?”
“Just a little, but I’m fine. Now come on.” She dragged him to the laundry room, even though she could have just asked him to wait a second, but his bewildered laugh was worth it to have for the trip down the hall. “Okay,” she said, still smiling with excitement as she paused. She wasn’t quite sure how to proceed.
“Well?” he shrugged, waiting.
“Okay, I’ll just do it,” she rushed, pulling a book out of a cupboard. She was so excited she practically shoved it against his chest and then covered her mouth to contain herself while he figured out what it was.
He looked down and held the book out in front of him. She watched him read the cover, and then his eyebrows furrowed with intrigue. He flipped it over and read the back, and even though he was a quick reader, it seemed to take forever. Kellie was about to blurt something out again, but she forced herself to be patient.
He opened the front cover and read the title page, and then flipped it to the next one where the dedication was.
Finally he swallowed and said, “I can’t believe this. How…? When in the world…” He turned a few of the pages, to get a look at the rest of it, but then he returned to the dedication again and read it out loud. “For my Tater Tot and Rayne Drop… May you always find peace and happiness within yourselves, and if you’re ever seeking help during the torrential storms of life…maybe this will help guide your way.”
He swallowed again and looked at Kellie. There were tears in his eyes and it made her feel emotional too.
“How did this happen?” he whispered, holding up the book titled From My Heart to Yours.
“When I would go to the nursing home to visit her…I started bringing a digital recorder. With her permission, I documented all of her stories, her memories, her advice… Anything that I could possibly get from her. Everything in that book came from your Gram; all I did was type it up and organize it. And there’s more at the end just for you but… Maybe you should take the rest of the day and read it? I have a copy for Rayne, too. I’ll get it to her tomorrow when we go shopping for baby things…”
She trailed off when he set the book down on the dryer, but only to put his hands against her face to kiss her. He then wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
“I love you, Kellie. Thank you so much for this. But I kind of dislike you right now because I can never top a gift like this.”
She had to laugh, but she squeezed him tighter and answered, “I wouldn’t expect you to. It’s pretty fucking awesome.”
“Dear God, she’s better than me and she knows it.” He kissed her forehead and added, “I don’t know what to do with you.”
“Ha, well I can think of something right now. Take me to bed or lose me forever!”
He chuckled at her movie reference but grabbed the book and her hand at the same time and pulled her out the door. “Show me the way home, honey!”
She giggled as she followed him down the hall. But even though they ended up in bed together, the sweetest most loving aspect of it was that Tate read Gram’s book out loud to her. They both shut off their phones and spent the next five hours reading, taking only short breaks in between to eat or use the bathroom. There wasn’t anything in the world she would rather be doing than to listen to her man’s sexy voice read some of the memories his grandmother had of not only her own life, but Tate’s as well.
Love was about selflessness and sacrifice, but it was also about just sharing your life with your partner—including your whole heart. Tate had shared parts of his past with Kellie that he wasn’t proud of. He’d admitted to being a selfish, arrogant, and boastful teenager. He felt he was better than everyone else, especially on a sports field, and he was a disrespectful smartass to his teachers. His Gram had been the only person to bring out his sweet side; his father the only person to tell him to his face he needed a lesson in humility.
When Tate didn’t get the sports scholarships he’d wanted, he leaned more toward the military. His mother forbade him to enlist; his father encouraged it because he felt it would give his son the discipline he needed. The athleticism required for the marines had interested Tate and it was something he decided he needed to do. After his friend went to jail on involuntary manslaughter charges from his drinking and driving mistake, Tate chose to reevaluate his own life and make some changes.
It’s amazing how your experiences in life can mold you a certain way. Whenever Tate would share stories with her about what a shit he was in high school, she just couldn’t believe it. He was such a smart, caring, compassionate person now and it was hard to picture him being anything else. His experiences as a marine—and especially the challenges he was still going through—had reshaped not only his current life, but also his priorities and way of thinking.
Since Tate had been so open with her about his life—sharing stories with her, letting her read his raw and sometimes heart wrenching journals from the past couple of years, and being completely honest and straightforward about his goals for the future—it had opened up a part of Kellie’s heart that she’d never tapped into. She could see through his eyes more often, and it helped her realize things that she might not have ever understood. Being with the right person had changed her world for the better—in more ways than she could ever imagine—and no amount of interference from the outside world could ever change that.
She was healthy, happy, and looked forward to an amazing future with the man who loved her completely.
~The End~