LAUREN
I leaned back against the cool metal of the stall while Emerson applied a wet paper towel compress against my cheek and forehead, the way any good girlfriend should in the aftermath of what I’d just done. “How bad was it?” I moaned. My head was still spinning as I tried to make sense of it all.
“You puked. Like, everywhere.”
“Yeah, I gathered that much, Em. I meant the rest of it.”
Emerson sat back on her heels and contemplated me. She reached out and swiped at my smudged mascara. “I only caught the tail end of what went on out there, but it was pretty bad.” I didn’t need her to elaborate, her sympathetic face said it all: I’d made a mess of everything.
“Zane?”
She let out a breath. “Pretty bent. Last I heard, when I was helping you get in here, Lucas was trying to convince him to wait for us.”
I tried to recall his expression when I’d been standing at the bar making a scene and yelling at . . . pretty much everyone. But everything just blurred together in a storm cloud of accusations and regret. How in the world had I let myself get so out of control, so wasted?
Zane wasn’t entirely blameless; he’d been the one handing me beer after beer while we played pool, but it wasn’t like I hadn’t accepted them. I knew what I was doing. I’d wanted to get drunk; that was my entire reason for coming out tonight—to obliterate Will from my memory. Even if only for the night.
Instead, Will had managed to crash my little pity party and ruin everything.
I groaned, burying my face in my hands while Emerson left the stall to get a fresh wad of paper towels. The ones she came back with were cold and damp and felt like heaven against my burning cheeks.
“How come you didn’t tell me?” When I looked up, her probing gaze was on me. “About Will . . . and the kiss?”
I slumped even harder against the metal wall, opening my mouth. When I tried to think of the right thing to say, nothing seemed to fit. Why hadn’t I told her? Because the kiss meant nothing? Because I had no intention of letting it happen again? Because Will already had a girlfriend?
Yes. It was all of those things, and none all at once. I was more confused than ever when it came to Will. “I don’t know, Em. I just . . . I wasn’t sure what to say.”
Emerson went perfectly still, the wad of paper towels crumpled in her hand. “Oh my God. Oh. My. God,” she repeated, her voice was filled with awe. “You like him.” She wasn’t asking. She was stating a fact.
I shook my head, sitting up straighter now, and the sudden shift in position sent new waves of dizziness whirling through my head.
“Don’t try to deny it. I know you. You totally do.” She gave me a weird look, seeing me in a whole new light. “I mean, I knew he liked you. It was so obvious. But you . . . you never like anyone.”
There was a knock on the bathroom door, and I jumped. The door opened and Will’s voice was there, echoing off the bathroom tiles. “Hello?”
I shot Emerson a pretend we’re not in here stare, but she countered me with a you’re crazy look and ignored my silent plea. She got up and left the stall. “She’s doing better.” I heard her tell Will in complete disregard of my wishes.
The door to the bar opened again and I heard them both go out, still talking in low voices . . . about me. I leaned my head back against the wall and thought about the mess I’d made. How had I ended up here, puking in a bathroom stall at a honky-tonk?
Then the whoosh of the door came again, and this time I didn’t hear the click of Emerson’s heeled boots, only heavy footsteps and I knew it must be Will.
I held my breath, feeling myself coming apart at the seams. He was out there, on the other side of the metal door now. How was I supposed to do this?
“Lauren.” He wasn’t asking if I was in here, or if I was okay, but just hearing him say my name, just hearing his voice . . .
I felt sick all over again, and I wondered why he was even still here at all. Hadn’t I done enough damage? I didn’t dare glance down at his shoes to see how true that really was.
“Go away,” I croaked.
“You know I can’t do that,” he said.
I scoffed. “Of course you can. I mean it, leave me alone.”
There was a long silence.
Then, “I’m coming in.”
My heart slammed against my ribs. “No!” I jumped up to stop the door when I realized I hadn’t locked it after Emerson had left. But I was too late, and it swung all the way open. I found myself face-to-mascara-streaked-face with Will.
My humiliation was complete.
I didn’t have long to worry about how I’d disgraced myself, or consider how I looked now, because the moment I was on my feet, my vision tunneled in on itself. For the briefest second, I thought I’d just gotten up too fast, and it would pass. But before I realized what was happening, everything tilted sideways, and I was falling.