LAUREN
The hour-long lesson went by fast and wasn’t nearly as torturous as I’d imagined it would be.
With Will by my side, I almost forgot I was terrified of the water.
Almost.
I still panicked as I descended the steps, my heart racing and cold sweat prickling the back of my neck as I remembered the way I’d choked on the salty ocean water. How I’d had to be dragged to safety.
But after I was submerged, at least to my waist, I was able to breathe evenly again, and then I was nervous about something else altogether—having an audience. But after a few stealthy glances toward the bleachers, it wasn’t hard to tell I was pretty much invisible to the mom crowd.
They were much more interested in the lessons. Or more specifically in the instructor. I caught several eager mommies eyeing him hungrily.
There may even have been a few camera phones snapping pics for posterity.
And who could blame them, really? Shirtless Will was hard not to look at. I’d caught myself peeking at his defined muscles more than once.
The first thing the class was supposed to master was putting our faces in the water and holding our breath.
I had a lock on that one. So, as Will’s “helper” it was my job to assist the kids who didn’t.
The whole thing was sort of gross, really.
There was lots of sputtering, plenty of disgusting snot bubbles, and so much choking that I prayed I wouldn’t have to give any of them mouth-to-mouth. There were no snot bubbles on Baywatch.
On her first try, Gracie got her face in the water and Will gave her an enthusiastic, and utterly endearing, thumbs-up, making her flash her toothless grin at him. This Will was so the opposite of the one I’d known up until now, I had to wonder which Will was the real Will.
When he announced he wanted us to try lying back in the water, to see if we could float on our backs, my time as an observer came to an end. The closest I’d ever come to floating was when I used to soak in my parents’ Jacuzzi tub, and now I was quickly learning that one had nothing at all to do with the other.
I told myself I could do this. It was irrational to be afraid of drowning—Will wouldn’t ask me to do this if it wasn’t safe.
But every time I tried to lean back, my body instinctively curled in on itself. I was about as graceful as a drowning cat. I only hoped I wouldn’t end up with my own snot bubbles.
I jolted when I felt Will’s hand slip beneath my back, moving low as he supported me. I tried—one more time—to stay afloat.
“Relax,” Will soothed, lifting my body so I was lying flat atop the water’s surface. I found myself eye to eye with him. “Keep your chest up and your head back.” His voice was gentle . . . slow. “Remember to breathe.”
Breathe. Easier said than done.
His hands were distracting. They were tethering either side of my hips as I drifted. We stayed like that forever. Too long, probably, and I wondered if anyone noticed the way I was looking at him, and the way he was looking at me.
Then one of his thumbs moved, just the barest amount, and heat lashed through me. I jolted again. This time it was just a slight shift, only enough for the two of us to notice. But Will’s eyes clouded over.
He released me abruptly. “You’re . . . you’re doing great.” His voice was rough and low, but he recovered quickly as he turned to the boy on the other side of me. “How you doin’, Jackson? You look like a champ!”
I started to sink, and I thrashed just before my feet hit the pool floor. I didn’t have time to be embarrassed that I couldn’t float without Will’s guidance. I was too humiliated that I’d let him affect me.
If not for the look on his face, or the way he’d practically shoved me away from him, I might not even suspect he’d been just as bothered. He didn’t seem half as unsettled as I was by whatever had just passed between us.
But I was sure I hadn’t imagined it.
“Lauren, wait up a sec.”
Lauren. Not Brown Eyes.
I had my gym bag slung over my shoulder and was just about to unlock my car when I saw Will jogging my way. I tried not to notice that he was still in his swim trunks, his chest all tan and muscular. “What’s up?” I asked.
“I’m . . .” The word drifted off as his face screwed up in concentration.
Shit. I knew that look. That wasn’t the same time next week look. That was the I think we need a break look.
My stomach dropped.
I sighed. “Yeah?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not sure this is gonna work out.”
And there it was. “I assume you mean my swim lessons.”
“Yeah, that. The lessons . . . maybe they weren’t such a great idea after all.”
Since he’d been the one to talk me into staying, I felt like I deserved some sort of explanation. “Can I at least ask why? Did I do something wrong?”
“No.” He shook his head. And then, as if he was convincing himself, “No. No, of course not. I just . . .”
I pursed my lips, waiting for more, irritated that he was beating around the bush. I’d thought it was sweet the way he’d talked Gracie off the steps and told the kids I was his “helper” rather than some loser grown-up who’d never learned to swim. And now here we were, with him basically firing me. “Really? Because I thought it went fine.” My hands were on my hips as I bridged the gap between us. “Are you embarrassed to have me in your class? Or did one of those bitch moms complain about me being there? Because I saw them with their iPhones, and they damn sure weren’t taking pictures of their kids.” I tried to punch a hole in his chest with my finger.
He chuckled, closing his hand over mine to keep me from using it as a weapon against him. “Take it easy, Brown Eyes. It’s nothing like that. Really. It’s just . . .” His eyes found mine and I could see that this had nothing to do with the swim mommies. “I don’t know how to say this, but I think you need more attention than I can give you.” And then, his grip shifted, and his thumb moved over my wrist.
I wasn’t sure I could handle any more attention than he was giving me at that very moment. It would’ve been easier if he’d released my hand, because God knew I wasn’t capable of taking it back myself. And from the way he was looking at me, his eyes searching mine, I didn’t think I ever wanted my hand back.
Emerson always gave me shit about not giving guys a chance. Maybe that was why I was still carrying my V card. There was no point denying that Will drove me absolutely and utterly insane, but he also made me want to explore these crazy new feelings I was having. Actually made me consider giving up the card entirely, and not just because I’d put myself under some self-imposed deadline.
But then the truth of what he’d said hit me, and mortification washed over me.
“Oh my God,” I breathed, extracting my hand from his. “So, you’re saying I’m . . . that terrible? That I suck so hard I can’t even be in your beginner swim class? The one for children?” I seriously thought I might die, right then and there.
His eyes shot to mine, a fathomless eddy of surprise and concern. “No!” he insisted. “That’s not it at all! What I’m saying is that it’s not fair to the other students. I need to focus on them.” He hovered over the brink of something, and again it drove me crazy, that hedging thing. He shook his head. “And I can’t do that with you there.”
I paused just a second to make sure I hadn’t misunderstood him. And then I cocked my hip to one side, studying him with a wicked grin. “So it’s not that I suck, it’s that I’m . . . distracting?” I let the last word dangle there, thinking how much easier that was on my ego.
Will flinched, his green eyes clouding over. Then he set his jaw and crossed his arms over his bare chest. He looked like an angry Adonis. “Think much of yourself? That’s not even close to what I said. Lifeguard says there are too many people in the pool and you’re the last to join. Simple as that.”
I wanted to tell him I wasn’t buying it—he was full of shit. If it was a matter of numbers, he wouldn’t have offered to teach me in the first place. No, this was personal.
But it was too late, he was already walking away from me.
Besides, did it matter what his reasons were? I couldn’t make him teach me how to swim and I couldn’t tell him why I needed to learn so badly.
Basically, I was back to square one. I was gonna have to figure it out on my own.