KATIE
I’d expected to feel different the next morning, less worried, but I didn't. He was tender and held me through the night. Jesus, even the way he looked at me, spoke to me...
Everything about last night had been perfect, yet I couldn’t help but watch him while we ate breakfast. I couldn’t deny that he was sweet. He’d gotten up before me and had cleaned the kitchen before making me waffles.
“Thought this through, did you?” I teased. He’d clearly planned on me being here for breakfast. “What if I had turned you down?”
He shrugged, shoving another bite of waffle between his beautiful lips. “You would’ve stayed anyway. I wasn’t out to seduce you, Katie, no matter how it looked. I wanted you to come to me.” He took my hand across the table and kissed my knuckles. “I wanted it to be without pressure, without having to fear anything. In fact, all I wanted was for the two of us to be able to relax. I don’t know. I guess part of me wanted to see how you and I could’ve been…”
I knew exactly what he meant. If he didn’t suddenly have a child, could we have been a couple? “Are you worried I will turn you down? That I won’t want you because you now have a kid?” I asked in utter disbelief.
“I don’t know, Katie. I’m sure you planned to have your own family one day. Instead…” He shook his head. “You know, it doesn’t really matter because Cory is here now. You’re not bound to him.”
I put down my fork and withdrew my hand from his grip. “That might be, Hayden, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t what you planned, either. You must’ve wished for something different, too.” I had no idea what his plans for the future had been. “If Leah hadn’t put your name down on the birth certificate, would you have ever talked to me? Would you have considered having a family some day? Did you actively want to get married?”
I waited for him to say something, to explain how we would’ve gone on had the baby not brought us together, but it took exactly one look at his face to know he had no idea what he’d wanted.
“I wanted to be happy, Katie. I didn’t have a plan on how I’d achieve that,” he explained, then stood. “I was okay, you know? Hanging with Leah, occasionally having a few beers with the guys... I was content enough to not change that. If we had started talking and you and I had become something, maybe my plans would’ve changed. However, you know what they say about plans and fools.” He winked at me as he left the room.
“Hayden, would you have hit me up eventually?” I called after him.
I heard him chuckle. “Would you?”
Touché.
I didn't think I would’ve talked to him any sooner than he would’ve talked to me. I stood. I wanted to see him while we discussed this. I found him standing near the kitchen sink, his hands braced on the counter, head bowed, his back on display for me. I’d left marks on his skin the night before, and as much as I searched for regret inside me, I couldn’t find it.
I stepped up to him, kissing him between the shoulder blades. I had no idea what we now were, how he’d classify us, but it didn't really matter because we didn’t need to put a name on it.
Yet.
“No, I wouldn’t have,” I admitted, wrapping my arms around his stomach. He took my hands, kissing both my palms.
“Because?” he asked. I rested my head against his back, listening to his heartbeat. It was erratic.
“I never thought it could work, and before you say it, it wasn’t about you. It was me. I didn’t think I could be in a relationship, what with my shifts and all. I didn’t think anyone would want this, even without a child. I didn’t think I could get it to work.” Until there’d been no other choice. “Why didn’t you ever talk to me? What stopped you?”
He swallowed and took a deep breath. Something about hearing his voice while having my ear to his skin was even more soothing than usual. “I didn’t think someone as beautiful and smart as you deserved someone like me. I’m a simple guy. I like my football, my beer, and I enjoy sex, but I’m not the nicest guy out there.” He smirked. “And I know you know I get needy when I’m drunk.”
I chuckled. “You mean the times you asked Sarah to marry you just because she took you home?”
He’d never forced himself on her, and I knew he never would, but I’d heard more than enough about the way he’d make puppy-dog eyes and ask her to live with him forever. Of course, he usually topped that off with the comment that this way, only one house would be lived in. I knew he was adorable when he was drunk because he often tried to flirt, thinking he was the biggest hotshot out there—when, in reality, he was more like a teen stumbling around as he asked for his first date.
“Yeah,” he replied, finally turning and wrapping me in his arms.
“Maybe you just asked the wrong woman,” I commented, not meeting his eyes.
“And you would’ve married me on the spot?” he asked, his tone incredulous.
I shook my head against his chest. “I would’ve told you to call me when you’re sober and ask me out for dinner before we’d get anywhere near an altar.”
He kissed my hair. “I wish I would’ve asked you then.”
Boy, I wish that, too.
* * *
HAYDEN
I drew Katie closer, wishing I could change everything up to that point.
I should have done more with other people. Not that I would have cut out Leah, but I should have focused on others, too. I never knew how much my life revolved around her until she wasn’t there anymore.
All the chances I’d missed with Katie because I’d been certain Leah and I would just find someone by walking into a bar, or that Leah would walk up to Katie and just tell her I liked her.
Clearly, Katie and I knew about each other, had noticed each other, yet here we were.
“I wish I would’ve spoken to you before, would’ve changed the course of our lives.” Then again, chances were high she’d have broken up with me the moment Leah would’ve put my name down.
Then again…
Damn, these what ifs don’t get me anywhere.
“We still have years to come, Hay,” she whispered.
I pressed another kiss to her hair, staying quiet.
With everything I planned, I wasn’t sure if she would run the other way.
Then again, why should I care if she did? She was either in or she wasn’t.
“Hayden,” she prompted, pulling back to meet my eyes. “We do have years, right?”
I gave her a soft smile and kissed her lips, then whispered, “Leah thought she had years left and look what happened. I’m not making promises. However, I meant to discuss something else with you.” I checked the clock on the stove, realizing Dale would soon be over with Cory.
It was hard to believe, but I missed the kid. Had last night. I’d woken so many times in a panic, thinking he’d stopped breathing, only to remind myself that he wasn’t there.
“Yes?” she asked, her voice quiet.
I pressed my lips against hers, lingering a moment. She tasted amazing, tasted of herself, waffles, and the syrup I’d practically drowned the food in. “I wanted to go out with the guys tonight. Would you mind watching Cory? I promise, I’ll be home before midnight. I won’t be drinking, but there’s a game on. I just… I really would love to go out again.”
Katie’s expression relaxed a little as she pushed up to her tiptoes, silently demanding another kiss. I gave it willingly, then she nodded.
“Definitely. I can’t believe you remembered I was off today.”
I grinned. “I also remember that you’re working late shift Sunday, have morning shift the rest of the week, do a double on Saturday, then you’re off again until Monday. I listen when you talk, Katie. I promise.” I might have seemed absent, but hearing her voice had a soothing effect, so focusing on it had been easy.
“I never doubted that,” she assured me and hopped up onto the counter, drawing me closer. “Kiss me.”
I did, cupping her cheeks and holding her like she was precious. She tilted her head, giving me better access to her mouth.
“The little man will be back soon,” I whispered against her lips, and she drew me back in.
“Then we’d better hurry.”
The doorbell rang at that exact moment. I couldn’t help but chuckle as she groaned in disappointment.
“You’ll get another chance to be seductive,” I promised her, kissing her forehead before walking over to the door, welcoming my son back home, telling Dale I’d see him later that night.