Chapter 21
When another two weeks had gone by and no one showed up, they started to think maybe they were in the clear.
“We need to get more groceries,” Audrey said, looking at their dwindling supply of snacks. “And maybe we can look for a more permanent location if they haven’t found us in this long.”
“I guess we can start with a trip into town.”
“Good.” She hurried to her shoes and pulled them on. “I’m so bored.”
They drove to the closest grocery store and stocked up on pretzels and chips and salsa and noodles in a cup, which they used the microwave in their motel room to make.
They got back much too soon. “Can’t we just go out or something? Movie theaters are dark. No one would see us there,” she said.
“We better not chance it,” Kenny said, rubbing his hand across Audrey’s stomach and pulling her close to kiss her neck. “But I can think of other ways to entertain you.”
She pushed him off. “My stomach is feeling a little queasy. I need to eat something.”
She made a cup of noodles and sat down on the bed to watch TV. They’d been watching a lot of TV lately and all she wanted to do was get out and run. She missed her job and the fast-paced environment, the way she felt important and needed and like she was doing something good every day. Sitting around all the time doing nothing felt awful. Every morning, she had dread about the day ahead, knowing they would be sitting around, eating and having sex, and watching TV. She was sick of it.
“Feeling better?” he asked, curling up beside her.
“My stomach is, but I’m bored. I can’t live like this forever, Kenny. Don’t you need to get out there and run?”
“Yeah, I have had that need since I got shot. I couldn’t run for weeks, remember? I couldn’t get out of bed, or even pee by myself. You think you’re bored now? Try not being able to move for weeks.”
She hung her head and sighed. He was right. She had little cause to complain, and he’d been through much more. But that still didn’t stop the antsy feeling from eating at her skin. “I’ve never dealt with anything like this before. My job was so busy and fast, I haven’t sat so much in years. How did you deal with it?”
“Found a pretty girl to distract me.” He winked at her.
“I don’t think that would work for me.”
“No, but you have me. Aren’t I interesting enough?”
“You are interesting, but there’s not much for us to do. I feel useless.”
“You’re not useless to me,” he said. “I need you here with me. And we’re running for our lives. You’re still saving lives every day. Ours.”
“I guess.” She flopped down all the way on the bed, still feeling anxious, but resigned to deal with it.
In the morning, she lay staring at the ceiling for a long while. It felt like there was no reason to get out of bed. She counted ceiling tiles and watched Kenny sleep. When she finally got up to use the bathroom, she felt a sudden wave of nausea. She turned to face the toilet and threw up in it. After she finished and brushed her teeth, she sat back down on the bed with her crackers, hoping they would make her feel better.
Being bored and stuck here was bad enough, but being sick on top of it would make everything worse. By the afternoon, she was feeling better and figured that throwing up had taken care of whatever it was that made her sick. But later that night, when Kenny reached for her, she started to wonder if she was wrong.
He squeezed her breast like he often did, but this time, it hurt. She pulled back. “Ow.”
“Sorry.”
He was gentler after that, but it still didn’t feel right. Had he been rough previously and bruised her somehow? The next morning, she thought she had her answer, impossible as it was.
“Kenny.” She shook him awake after she finished throwing up. “Wake up!”
He sat up suddenly, looking around. “What? Is someone here?”
“No.” Tears sat low in her eyes and she burst into sobs.
“What’s wrong?” He pulled her close and wrapped her in a hug. “I’m sorry you’re bored. Maybe we can get some books or something.”
“It’s not that. I think… I think…” She sat up to wipe her eyes. “I know it’s not possible. It’s not supposed to be anyway, but I think I might be pregnant.”
It took several minutes for the news to sink in. “Really?”
“Three days in a row now, I’ve felt sick in the mornings, then felt better later, after I ate some crackers. My breasts hurt, and the smell of your aftershave has been bugging me.”
He pulled his eyebrows together. “It has?”
She nodded. “I thought you were just using more than normal or something.”
“So, what do we do now?”
“Get a home test and see what it says.”
“Okay. Then let’s do that.”
As they drove to the store and returned, Audrey thought about what this would mean. She’d never pictured herself having a baby. She’d had to put it out of her mind long ago. Maybe her infection would make her uterus too weak to carry a baby. What if she just kept losing babies over and over? She felt the worry hit her stomach. If she was pregnant, she needed to get to a doctor. And she would need some sort of more permanent place. She couldn’t just go on the run being pregnant.
When they got back to the motel room, she went into the bathroom and took the test. While she waited, she thought about what else this would mean. The pack wouldn’t come after her. They wouldn’t kill her if she was pregnant. It was part of their code. And maybe, in the time while she was pregnant, they could prove that the secret was safe. So that once the baby came, they wouldn’t leave her baby orphaned.
Then there was the Kenny factor. How would he react to having a baby with her? Would he freak out and run, even if he had said he wanted to make a family? Maybe this was too soon or too sudden for him. He might ditch her and leave her alone to deal with this. Or. Something in the back of her mind said he wouldn’t leave her, but would want more. Maybe he’d want to get married. Neither of these were things she thought would be part of her life. She had planned to be single and be a nurse forever, to give her life to caring for patients. Not to be a wife or mother.
She looked at the time. Five minutes had passed. With a deep breath, she picked up the stick to look at it. Two little lines stared back. She was pregnant.
She walked out of the bathroom and handed the stick to Kenny.
“What does this mean?” he asked, turning the stick around to inspect it.
“It means we’re going to have a baby. And it means that for as long as I’m pregnant, we’re safe. They won’t kill me.”
“Will they still kill me?”
“They never actually voted to kill you. I think they were going to let you go, except you were with me, and it was easier to kill us both. Maybe it’ll be just as easy to leave us both alive. If we can convince them that we’re in love and love our new baby and want to make a family, maybe that will show them that we have some reason to keep the secret.”
“A really good reason.” A slow smile spread across his face. He reached out his hand and touched her stomach. “My baby is really in there?”
She nodded and waved the stick at him. “Apparently.”
“And there’s no chance it’s someone else’s this time.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” She took a step back and glared at him.
“No, it wasn’t a question. I’m saying there’s no chance. It’s a relief to know that. One time I thought someone was having my baby and it turned out not to be mine. It was heartbreaking. It’s a huge relief to know that this time there’s no chance it’s someone else’s.”
He surrounded her in a hug and she relaxed.
“There’s definitely no chance it’s anyone else’s. I’ve only been with you. And I’ve been with you nonstop since.”
“I know.” He kissed her forehead. “And I’m glad. I love you.”
“And you’re… okay with this?”
“Are you kidding me? I’m thrilled! I’ve wanted to have a family with you almost since we met. I was bummed when I thought we couldn’t. But now we’re going to.”
“Well, there’s still a lot that can go wrong, and I’m kinda worried that it might because of what happened to me before. I might not be able to carry a baby.”
“But if you can get pregnant, we could keep trying, right?”
“Maybe. I need to get to a doctor soon.”
“We’ll have to think about that. I mean, it’s extra awesome if having this baby keeps us alive.”
“Right. But we need to tell the pack somehow so they stop chasing us.”
“How are you going to do that?”
“Turn my phone back on, I guess. Call Kara.”