Chapter 8: Jackson

 

Monday, April 27th

 

I stalked the empty conference room like a caged animal, reminded of why I’d suggested jaguar for our team name. Although I was typically tamer these days, the events of the past sixty-six hours had pushed buttons I didn’t even know I had. If I didn’t cool off before Ethan walked through that door, I’d probably pounce and tear his throat out. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

While I was still angry at Ethan for ditching the team, the bulk of my frustration stemmed from the fact that we’d yet to discover any promising leads on Haley’s whereabouts beyond the greater San Francisco area. I couldn’t believe that she’d slipped through our fingers so easily. It was almost as if she had been trained in the art of disappearing, and I was beginning to wonder if her father had taught her more than she’d disclosed. Not that I could blame Taylor; living in hiding for so long had to extinguish a man’s ability to trust.

If only I understood why she left. I’d been over everything a million times and couldn’t make sense of it. Thinking back to when she stayed with me, I could have sworn Haley had completely adjusted to life in Santa Cruz . . . as one of us. And, as complicated as things had apparently gotten for her romantically, she didn’t seem the type to be intimidated by challenging relationships. There had to be something else going on.

I was still pacing when the rest of the guys filed in for the meeting. Taking notice of the wary glances tossed my direction, I barely held in a snide laugh. In the last few days, I’d continually been in tyrant mode, and I knew they were all waiting for me to officially snap. Things were so out of control right now, and if there was one thing I hated, it was the loss of control.

“Okay, let’s get started,” I said impatiently. “Ethan and Patrick will be here in about fifteen minutes, so we need to have a brief discussion about Haley now that we’re all together. Does anyone have a theory about why she left?”

“Because Liam and Chase couldn’t keep their paws off of her?” Theo muttered.

“I’m sure we can all agree that Haley was likely conflicted from all of the pawing, and not just by Liam and Chase,” I said wryly. “But I believe there’s more to it. Other thoughts?”

“Maybe she was afraid DuBois was going to find her,” Chase responded.

“So she went off on her own to somewhere she’d have no protection?” Knox asked, disbelieving. “Anyway, she doesn’t scare that easy. It must have something to do with her father; nothing else makes sense. My guess is he reached out to her and told her to keep it a secret.”

I nodded. “I’ve considered the same. Her loyalty to Taylor would keep her from telling us the plan.”

“If that’s the case, should we keep looking for her?” Chase asked, his expression uncertain. Knox growled, and Chase continued quickly, “I’m just as worried about her as the rest of you, but if she wanted us to know where she was going, she would have told us. Surely she’ll contact us when the time is right.”

Liam spoke for the first time, and my attention swung in his direction and picked up on the shadows under his eyes and unusual pallor to his skin. It wasn’t like him to stay quiet even this long, especially since Theo made that crack about him pawing Haley. Now that I thought about it, Liam had reacted rather oddly when I called him to break the news about Haley disappearing. He hadn’t spoken for almost a minute, and I’d had to confirm he was still on the line. Is this what Liam looks like in love? I mused.

“We can sit here and conjecture about her reasoning all we want, but does it even matter?” he asked. “Regardless of her reasons, we should at least find her and make sure she’s safe. Then we can figure out our next move.”

“I agree with Liam,” I said. “We need to locate her no matter what, but discovering her motives may help lead us to her somehow. Any other ideas?”

Theo pulled a piece of stationery out of his pocket and carefully unfolded it. “It’s not much help, but this is the note she left,” he said.

“Blimey,” Liam exclaimed, snatching the paper out of Theo’s hand. “Why are we just now hearing about a note?”

Theo frowned, looking confused. “I told Jackson about it right away.”

I thought back and, after a few seconds, remembered Theo mentioning Haley leaving a note and her keys behind. “That’s right. With everything else, it slipped my mind. What does it say?”

Liam scanned the note, then read it aloud, his tone somber. “‘I don’t have the words to fully express how much you all mean to me. The day you exploded into my life, everything changed . . . for better and worse. As difficult as the separation from my dad has been, I could never regret the past seven months. Somehow, you made me feel secure when all I should have been feeling was lost, and for that, I will be forever grateful. I will miss you more than I can say, but it’s time to move on. Please don’t look for me—my leaving is for the best. Haley.’”

The room fell silent as her words sank in. Did she honestly believe that her leaving was for the best? I had no doubt that every person in this room disagreed with her, so what was she thinking? Reining in my frustration, I checked the time and sighed. We needed to table this discussion and focus on our other crisis.

As soon as I caught sight of Ethan through the conference room window, I felt my blood pressure spike. Although I knew it was imperative to keep my cool during this meeting, I was more than ready to lash out at him for causing trouble, especially now.

Ethan entered the room on Uncle’s heels and chose the seat farthest away from the rest of us. His face was expressionless as he crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. Well, this is bound to go great, I thought sarcastically.

Uncle joined me at the front of the room and gave me an encouraging smile. “We’ll get started in a minute, but first, Jax has something he would like to ask you about, Ethan.”

Not wasting any time, I asked, “Do you have any idea where Haley is?”

He laughed harshly. “No, why would I?”

“When was the last time you spoke to her?”

“Tuesday night. Why? What’s going on?” he asked, suspicious.

“She left Saturday morning and we’ve been unable to track her location past the bus station in San Francisco.”

“What the fuck, Jackson?” Ethan yelled angrily, his eyes attempting to drill holes right through me. “I’m off the team for a few days, and you’ve already managed to lose Haley? You must be so proud,” he spat, “fucking spy of the year.”

“Ethan,” Uncle said gently yet firmly, “I know you’re upset, but let’s stay focused on the issue at hand. Do you have any idea where Haley might have gone?”

He looked directly at me when he responded. “No, but good for her. She figured out she’s better off without you much quicker than I did.”

In that moment, my entire body relaxed. I should have been outraged by Ethan’s venomous words, but instead, all I felt was relief. He had obviously made up his mind about leaving the team and there was no point arguing with him. I still felt guilty about not fixing things with him sooner, but I now realized that this wasn’t all about me. Ethan was consumed with anger and bitterness, and there was nothing I, or any of us, could do about it.

With nothing more to be said about Haley’s whereabouts, Uncle took over the meeting, citing the repercussions if Ethan officially quit the team. Not only would Jaguar experience stricter oversight (to prevent any future team rifts), Ethan would be placed on a lengthy probationary period and be forced to drift from assignment to assignment as needed. His salary would be negatively affected, and joining another team would prove challenging, because he would likely be seen as a risk. All things considered, leaving the team was a bad career move for Ethan as well as being a headache for the rest of us.

After Uncle was finished going over the obligatory information about team dismissal, he spoke directly to Ethan. “Zenith protocol aside, you know I consider you one of the family. What can we do to work this out?”

Ethan shrugged. “There’s nothing to work out. I’ve made my decision.”

“Think about what you’re doing,” Chase pleaded. “None of us want you to leave.”

Ethan’s face softened slightly, but he shook his head. “You don’t get it, Chase. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t belong.”

My temper rising once again, I said, “That’s bullshit. You belong as much as the rest of us. You’re choosing to abandon the team, not the other way around.”

Ethan stood, scowling. “This is a waste of time. I have nothing more to say.” He started to leave but turned around and planted his hands on the table. Leaning toward me, he smirked and said, “And, just so you know, if you weren’t constantly trying to control Haley like you control the rest of us, she probably wouldn’t have felt the need to disappear.” With those parting words, he stormed out of the room and slammed the door shut.

Knox let out a low whistle. “That went well.”

Theo laughed, and when everyone looked at him, he smiled. “What? Am I the only one who wishes we caught that performance on video? It was seriously dramatic.”

Uncle shook his head sadly. “I’m sorry, boys. I hoped that he could be reasoned with, but now I don’t know. Maybe if you give him more time?”

“I think it would take a lot more than time,” I said. “When do you need our decision?”

“If you choose to dispute his dismissal, you must file notice by next Monday. If no notice is filed, he will automatically be dismissed from the team. I’ll leave you alone now to discuss it.”

After Uncle left, the room fell quiet. Although I wasn’t expecting the meeting to go smoothly, it had been even worse than I imagined, and I assumed the others agreed.

Finally, I said, “You all know how I feel about decisions that affect the entire team. We need a unanimous vote. Liam and Theo, you previously indicated your preference for letting Ethan go. Is that still your vote?”

Liam nodded.

“Abso-freaking-lutely,” Theo replied.

“Knox?” I asked.

He ran his fingers through his hair, looking contemplative. “I hate to say it, but I don’t think he’s given us much of a choice. We gave Ethan his chance to talk to us, to explain, and he threw it away.”

Turning to Chase, I hesitated. I didn’t want to pressure him into agreeing and could only guess at how painful the meeting had been for him. “What do you want to do, Chase?”

He glared at each of us accusingly. “I can't believe you all are willing to give up on him so easily. What happened to our team's so-called unbreakable bond? Sure, Ethan messed up, and he's being stubborn, but now is the time to fight for him, not give up on him.”

I exhaled, trying to keep my irritation—and guilt—under control. “What do you want us to do? We can’t force him to listen to us. You heard him just now; he has no desire to work things out.”

Chase hung his head in defeat, all energy seemingly drained from his body.

“What about a compromise?” Knox interjected.

“Let’s hear it.”

“Hold off on officially voting until the week has passed. That gives us all plenty of time to attempt to talk to him. If Ethan hasn’t shown any signs that he might change his mind by Sunday, we agree to let him go.”

Chase lifted his head and gave Knox a relieved almost-smile.

“Sounds fair. Any objections?” When there were none, I told Chase, “Try not to get your hopes up. I have a feeling that Ethan is a lost cause.”