Chapter 23: Chase

Friday, July 24th

After work, I drove over to Liam’s penthouse, dreading this latest get-together; I honestly just wanted to head back to the loft and blow off some steam in the gym. Although the loft was a little farther from campus than my apartment had been, living with Knox and Theo was working out even better than I anticipated. I was almost thankful that my plan to share an apartment with Ethan fell through—almost.

As I rode the elevator to the twentieth floor, I wondered if we were finally going to debate the Haley situation now that real progress was being made on the Douglas front. I still wasn’t hot on the idea of us all dating Haley and letting her choose but had yet to come up with something better. I had even secretly wondered if she was better off without us, but every time it was my turn to monitor the remote surveillance, I could see how unhappy she was.

After everyone arrived, Jackson addressed the group. “There’s another option that we haven’t discussed. But, I need you all to promise to think about it rationally and not overreact.” He slowly made eye contact with each of us, waiting for nods of agreement.

“This should be good,” Liam said with a smirk. At least Liam seemed to be in a decent mood for the first time in months, his churlish, moody attitude no longer dominant.

Jackson took a deep breath and his shoulders tensed, like he was preparing for a fight. “We’ve talked about Haley dating all of us and then choosing who she wants to be with, but what if she didn’t have to choose?”

I repeated Jackson’s words in my head a few times, trying to make sense of them. Surely he isn’t saying what I think he’s saying, I thought with horror. Glancing at the other guys, I found an array of reactions. Liam’s smirk had widened, Theo’s expression was blank, and Knox appeared deep in thought.

When no one spoke, I cautiously asked, “What exactly do you mean?”

“I mean that the endgame would be for us to all be in a relationship with Haley,” Jackson replied. I didn’t even attempt to hide my shock as he confirmed my fears. My heart felt like it would beat right out of my chest as I tried to wrap my mind around his preposterous suggestion.

“Well, that’s certainly unconventional,” Liam said lightly. “Not that we’ve ever been conventional. No reason to start now.”

“Are you insane?” I shouted at him. “Unconventional? It’s ridiculous. What would people think? And how would it even work? We all take turns and schedule boyfriend time with Haley on our team calendar? That’s crazy!”

“We would shorten it to BT, of course,” Liam retorted.

“Is it, though?” Jackson asked me calmly, ignoring Liam. “We’re all busy and there are times when at least several of us are out of town on lengthy assignments. Think about the UCLA mission. You and Theo were gone for months, and instead of being alone, Haley still had Knox, Liam, and me,” he said, intentionally leaving Ethan off that list, I was sure. “And, the travel will likely only increase once the whole team is out of school.”

Okay, his point was valid, but that didn’t override the absurdity of this conversation. For being such a rational guy, Jackson was seriously off the rails this time.

“I think it’s brilliant. All the benefits of having a girlfriend without the pressure of being the perfect boyfriend,” Liam said with a wink.

“Says the rich playboy,” I grumbled not quite under my breath.

“Judgmental prude,” he quipped.

“Can we please stay on topic?” Jackson interrupted.

“Seriously,” Liam said, “I’d much rather share Haley with you prats than not have her at all. I dare you to disagree, Chase.”

I shook my head, too overwhelmed to say anything else. Liam made it sound like one girl with five guys was no big deal. Was he really that deluded?

“You honestly think we could share her?” Knox said to Jackson, finally breaking his silence.

“Do I think five normal guys could handle it? No. But, as Liam pointed out, we’re not normal . . . never have been and never will be.” Jackson stood and paced a few steps before turning back to us. “Look, I know it seems a little outrageous, but you also know I’ll always support what is best for the team. And, as unusual as this arrangement would be, I can see us making it work. If we all agree,” he said, glancing my direction.

What the hell? Surely, I couldn’t be the only one who thought this plan was ludicrous. I looked to Knox, certain he must be against it, but he appeared calm and merely contemplative.

“I can’t believe you guys are actually considering this,” I spit out, growing increasingly agitated that it seemed like they all thought I was the crazy one. “Are you thinking this through? It’s not like we’d just be taking turns with her time, we’d eventually be taking turns with her, um,” I stumbled, “physically.” My face heated and I inwardly groaned. Leave it to the virgin to get flustered talking about sex.

“And, assuming Haley’s okay with it, that’s a problem why?” Liam said around a smug grin.

“It’s unnatural!” I cried. “I have a hard time believing you care about Haley if you can be so blasé about her with other men.”

Liam’s relaxed stance stiffened and he glared at me. “You don’t know anything about my feelings for Haley, so cut the sanctimonious attitude. And, we’re not discussing Haley being with other men. We’re discussing her with the four men I trust most in the world. The four men who would do anything for her, be anything for her. The four men whose happiness I would put before my own, if it came to that.”

I had to stop myself from gaping at Liam. In all the years I had known him, he’d never sounded so passionate about anything or anyone. Was I not giving him enough credit? In my head, I was the only one truly head-over-heels for Haley, but was I kidding myself?

Theo cleared his throat, and I suddenly realized that he hadn’t spoken a word on the subject. What was up with that? Theo was usually the first to pipe in with his opinion.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about what to do since we last discussed it, and there are two things I’ve decided. One, I can’t stand the thought of losing Haley. And, two, I want—no, need—her to be happy. But, I don’t believe she ever will be if she is forced to choose one of us. Her heart is way too big for that.”

Knox, who appeared to be watching his brother carefully, said, “I’m not sure how I feel about this yet, but I can see the benefits. If we force Haley to choose, it could end badly. Best case scenario, four of us concede defeat and attempt to move on, all the while watching the winner with our girl day in and day out. Worst case, we lose sight of our friendships and fight over her, destroying the team in the process.”

He pushed his hand through his hair, which had gotten noticeably longer since Haley left. Was he letting it grow on purpose, or was he so distracted that he hadn’t noticed or cared?

“My biggest concern about this suggestion is how Haley would handle it. I don’t think she’s ready for something like that. She hasn’t even been on a date, much less . . .” Knox trailed off, and we all knew what he was getting at. Would we shatter her innocence by even proposing such a thing?

“We need to ease her into it,” Theo said. “It’s not like we can show up in Portland and say, ‘Hey, honey, we want you to come home and start sleeping with all five of us. Lucky you.’ Maybe we should begin by convincing her to date all of us, and once we’re sure she’s fallen so hard she couldn’t possibly choose, we suggest that maybe she doesn’t have to.”

Why did it seem like he had already thought this through? The answer dawning on me, I gave Theo an incredulous look. “This was your idea!” No wonder Knox had been watching him so closely—he’d figured it out.

Theo looked away guiltily and then shrugged. “So? It’s a valid suggestion and not unprecedented; the Bay Area is a hotbed of nontraditional relationships. We’ll fit right in.”

I snorted while Liam smiled with decidedly too much glee. “I knew this beautifully mad scheme was too progressive to be Jax’s brainchild. Well done, Theodore.” When Theo glared at him, Liam said, “What? If we’re sharing a girlfriend, surely I’m allowed to call you by your given name.”

Knox groaned as he pressed his thumbs against his temples. “This conversation is giving me a headache.”

Jackson, who had continued to pace while the rest of us traded barbs, sat back down and gave us his best “stop bickering” look. “I don’t want to sway you one way or the other, but there’s a reason I decided to bring this to the group despite being controversial.”

He paused and stared at the ceiling, as if gathering his thoughts. “We all know how challenging it is to juggle a relationship and our jobs, no one more than me. Unless we date girls in the know at Zenith—and those options are very limited—we’ll probably end up like Uncle . . . spending our lives alone. I don’t know about you, but that’s not what I want.”

Unless we quit Zenith, I thought angrily. I knew that wasn’t the answer, but I certainly enjoyed a brief daydream of Haley and me together, just the two of us. Sure, a few Zenith employees were married, and had children, but most of the time it simply didn’t work. Keeping monumental secrets was detrimental to any relationship, especially ones so dependent on love and trust.

“Are you saying we could finally tell Haley everything?” Theo asked excitedly.

“Absolutely,” Jackson said. “She needs to know what she’s getting into—not that she hasn’t already figured most of it out.”

And, another point goes to Jackson, I thought moodily. He’d always discouraged us from pursuing serious relationships because of the confidential nature of our work, insisting we were forbidden from speaking about it. Somehow, Haley was always a bit of an exception, and it seemed like now she would be let in fully.

After we went back and forth on the pros and cons of this—I still believed—outrageous idea for a while longer, Jackson said, “I’m not asking for a decision right now, but let’s take an unofficial vote to see where we stand.”

“Yes,” Theo said soberly.

“Maybe,” said Knox.

Liam smiled, responding with, “Why not?” in a breezy tone.

When Jackson looked at me, I felt almost sick. Shaking my head, I said, “I need more time. I just don’t know.”

How could I agree to this? How could I not?