Haley

I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling. After last night’s confrontation with the guys at dinner, I’d spent the entire day feeling sad, lost. I couldn’t fathom walking away from Liam, Knox, Chase, Jackson, and Theo, especially now that I’d finally given in. I’d handed over a piece of myself to each of them, pieces I would never get back.

Still, I couldn’t deny that I was on a precipice—continuing down this path of doubt and confusion wasn’t an option. Something needed to push me over the ledge once and for all . . . or I needed to turn around and never look back. As much as I wanted to take that leap of faith on my own, I didn’t know how to accomplish it. Maybe I should blame it on my nature, because I couldn’t seem to shake off my inherent caution and uncertainty.

One thing I did know? Pushing the guys away wasn’t working. I hated myself for the distance more and more every day. I couldn’t bear the hurt in Theo’s eyes, the anger in Knox’s set jaw, or the disappointment in Jackson’s voice. There had to be another way. A better way.

“Haley?”

At the sound of Chase calling to me, I sat up and stared at the door like it might explode if I dared approach it. Why was I wavering? Hadn’t I just decided that I wouldn’t push the guys away anymore? I couldn’t falter at the first test.

Resolved, I strode to the door and opened it without further hesitation. He was standing on the other side, hands in his front pockets and a shy smile on his face. “Hey.”

“Hi, Chase. What’s up?”

“If you’re not busy, I was hoping to kidnap you for a bit.”

I laughed. “Shouldn’t you at least be carrying duct tape?”

“Well, I was hoping you’d be more of a willing victim.” His dimple winked at me, and I found myself shrugging in agreement.

“Okay. Do I need my coat and shoes?”

He took hold of my hand and linked our fingers. “No, we’re just going upstairs.”

“To your bedroom?” I asked on a gasp as he led me to the stairs. “Are you sure we don’t need a chaperone?”

“Knox and Theo have a private security gig tonight, so we’re all alone. Guess you’ll have to trust me.”

“I always do,” I answered, dropping my teasing tone.

He paused when we reached the top of the stairs. “Honestly, I’m surprised you agreed to come. I was expecting to have to work harder to persuade you.”

“I’m trying this new thing where I’m not moody and withdrawn. How am I doing?”

His lips twitched. “So far, so good.”

He pushed open his door, and an enormous smile overtook my face. A classic Monopoly game was set up on his bed, the battleship and Scottish Terrier tokens sitting on “GO”—just like the first time we’d played a game together at the cabin. Amazingly, we’d never played Monopoly again in all the time since.

I sat in front of a pile of play money that had already been divvied up. “What if I want to be the battleship this time?”

He considered the question for a long moment. “I’ll allow it, just this once.”

“How chivalrous of you. I’ll stick with the Scottish Terrier, though. He’s still my favorite.”

Chase wiped a hand across his brow. “That was close.” Sitting across from me, he straightened his stacks of money. “Do you want to be the Banker?”

“I’ll leave that to your expertise.”

As we rounded the board, purchasing properties and getting sent to Jail, I felt relaxed and happy for the first time since everything started falling apart. Chase had managed to find one of the only things that allowed me to forget about my problems and be in the moment. And even when that moment consisted of laughing about how badly I was losing, I felt like me again. I was experiencing something less than hopeful but something more than hopeless. It was a start.

When I was forced to mortgage my third property to the Bank to stay in the game, I let out a sigh. “Now I remember why I never suggest this game. It takes forever.”

“That’s because we’re not following all the rules. If we did, it would go much faster.”

“Which rules? I can’t believe that you wouldn’t follow them to a T.”

“Technically, when a player lands on an unowned property and declines to purchase it, the Bank should sell it at auction. That doesn’t work very well with only two players, though.”

“Huh. I can’t believe I didn’t know that.”

He chuckled. “No one seems to. Over the years, every time I’ve tried to get my friends to play it that way, they voted to ignore that rule. So, I eventually got over it.”

“I’d never make you ignore the rules.” Wouldn’t I, though? Wasn’t that exactly what I was doing every day by continuing my relationships with him and four other guys? What we had was against the rules of society, at the very least.

“Do you ever wish you’d walked away that day instead of carrying me from the fire?” The question was out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop it.

I had no idea why I was bringing this up when I’d been so content to just spend time with him. Maybe because it represented a question, a fear, that had been unspoken for too long. I was back on that precipice, and I needed the answer.

Chase froze in the middle of his move, tilting his head back up to stare at me. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“It’s not like I would have died. I would have woken up and gone on the run. It would have been difficult and lonely, but I would have been okay. And your life, all of your lives, would have been so much simpler. You can’t tell me you’ve never thought about it.”

“You’re right. I have thought about it.”

My chest ached at his words, but I only had myself to blame for the hurt they caused. I’d asked the question, and he’d answered truthfully. Hadn’t I always known that, deep down, the guys had to regret my appearance in their lives? They would be crazy not to.

In a single move, Chase swept the Monopoly board and all its accompanying pieces off the bed. Shocked, I watched the last of the paper money flutter to the floor before speaking. “Chase, what . . .?”

“I’ve always wanted to do that,” he said, his own expression one of stunned amusement. “But, really, I needed there to be nothing between us right now. And I need you to listen, really listen, to me.”

He scooted closer to me on the bed and took my hands in his. “When I say I’ve thought about it, what I mean is that I’ve thought about how my life was empty before I met you. It was Zenith and school and working out. That’s all it was.”

“But you had the guys. You had Ethan.”

“Yeah, but you don’t know what the team was like before you.” He released one of my hands to rub the back of his neck, and I could tell he was struggling to put his thoughts into words. “We were different and not in a good way.”

“What do you mean?”

“Jackson was an effective leader, but we weren’t really friends. Outside of work, he spent time with Liam and Knox, but Theo, Ethan, and I were rarely invited. Liam was always attending some social event or dating a new girl. Knox devoted his spare time to upgrading the loft until that was finally completed; then, he went back to fiddling with cars. Theo stayed busy with school and his other friends. And though Ethan and I hung out regularly, it was more by default than anything. I wasn’t interested in going out and picking up girls with him, and he wasn’t exactly into staying home and playing board games with me.”

My head spun with Chase’s characterization of the guys before I knew them. It was difficult to imagine them off leading their own lives, never fully connecting as a team, as best friends. Was it possible my presence had helped create the Team Jaguar I now knew and loved? If only wanting to believe it made it true.

“But—”

“Haley, no. We can play the what if game all night, but it won’t change the fact that I know my world is better because you’re in it.” He placed my hands on his powerful shoulders and moved his to my waist. “No, I don’t wish I’d walked away that day, and I never will.”

Any temptation to argue vanished as warmth seeped into my body and soul. Though my desire for him was evident in the shallowness of my breaths and tightening of my nipples, it was more than that. I believed in what we had together; it was as real as anything I’d ever experienced. I didn’t want to continue worrying about these past few days or even the future. I wanted to live in this moment with no regrets.

Linking my fingers behind his neck, I shifted to my knees. “That was a fairly convincing speech.”

“I’m glad. You deserve to hear how you’ve made us better.”

Now that I was practically in his lap, I barely resisted attacking his mouth. But I needed to say one last thing first. “It goes both ways, you know. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

“Stop trying to.”

We both moved in for the kiss, meeting in the middle, and he lifted my hips until I was straddling him. Electricity charged between us in a way it never had before, and I knew this time was different. I wanted more from him. I was ready for everything.

When we drew apart, I could see the question in his eyes, and I nodded. He didn’t hesitate in removing his shirt before reaching for mine. Remembering my plain cotton underwear and sports bra, I warned, “My lingerie is not at all sexy.”

“I can help you out of it, if that’ll make you feel better.” I half-gasped, half-laughed, and Chase shook his head. “I have no idea where that came from.”

“Maybe you’ve been spending too much time around Liam.”

In the past, I would have kicked myself for bringing up one of the other guys, especially in the middle of stripping. This time, I didn’t feel bad and refused to. We all knew what we were getting into, and everyone had to be okay with it.

Chase proved that he had truly accepted our peculiar reality by smiling as he tore off my top. “I must have picked up a few things from him over the years. He could probably teach a class.”

He probably could, but I didn’t want to think about Liam anymore. I wanted, no needed, Chase to consume every part of me. Maybe it was selfish to ask it of him when I couldn’t guarantee our future, but I decided to be selfish this once.

His gaze drifted down to my chest, and with painstaking slowness, he lowered the zipper on the front of my bra. “You’re wrong. This is sexy as hell.”

His palms brushed my nipples as he removed my bra, and I instinctively sank deeper onto his lap, moaning when his erection pressed into me. Chase’s eyes closed, and he sucked in a breath. “Haley, I need to know how far . . .”

I kissed the corner of his mouth. “I’m ready, Chase. If you are.”

His eyelashes fluttered, and then I was peering into clear blue eyes full of devotion and yearning. “There’s no question.” Looking mildly embarrassed, he reached into his pocket and retrieved his phone. “I sort of have a playlist for this, if you don’t mind.”

Smiling, I shook my head. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

A song I’d never heard started playing softly over his Bluetooth speaker, and I listened to the lyrics about giving in, wondering if the song had somehow been written about us, about this moment.

With all the tenderness I’d come to expect from Chase, he lay me down on the bed and adjusted the pillow, carefully brushing my hair from my face. I felt something digging into my back, and when I held the battleship a moment later, I laughed. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to brand me.”

He grinned as he took the token from me, setting it on the nightstand with something akin to reverence. “From now on, the battleship is my good luck charm.”

I traced his smooth jaw. “You never needed luck. You only needed to be you.”

Chase crushed his mouth to mine, and he didn’t tease or hold back. He devoured me with every clash of our lips, our tongues, our teeth, and I lost myself in him. In his palpable desire. In his taste. In the way he made me feel like I was all he’d ever wanted.

I trailed a hand down his chest, taking time to appreciate the definition in his abs before palming him through his jeans. He jerked and muttered, “oh shit,” then captured my mouth again, even more ferocious than before. Desperate for more, I stroked his length until he drew away and hopped off the bed, almost like he’d been burned.

Before I had a chance to figure out what was wrong, the sound of rustling reached me, and then Chase was standing next to the bed in only his boxers, looking down at me. He peeled off my jeans and hesitated as he reached for my panties. “Will you think less of me if I admit that I’m nervous?”

I shook my head. Though it wasn’t my first time, my pulse thundered with nervous excitement. This was Chase, the captivating boy who I bumped into at the library and daydreamed about, believing I’d never see him again. He was the first guy who made me feel comfortable while also making my heart race. He was handsome and kind and smart, and I knew to the depths of my soul that every piece of him was mine to cherish. He’d given himself freely, and I wanted to give him all of me in return.

“I am too.”

Seemingly bolstered by my admission, he tugged off the last of my clothing before removing his own. His body was even more incredible than I’d imagined, and I wanted to explore every inch of his muscled, golden skin. But as he climbed back on the bed, I knew that would have to wait. I was already soaked and aching to feel him inside me.

Starting at my ankle, he kissed a path up my body, making me squirm under his touch. When he reached my stomach, I tugged on his hair until he surrendered, claiming my mouth with an abandon I’d never felt from him. I wrapped my legs around his waist, drawing him toward me, and his head tipped back enough for our eyes to meet. “I love you, Haley.”

“I love you, Chase.”

As his name fell from my lips, he eased into me, pausing when he filled me completely. “Wow, that’s . . . I have no words.”

Unable to resist smiling at the wonder in his voice, I said, “Just wait. It gets better.”

To prove my point, I began moving under him, and he groaned before slowly pulling out then thrusting back in. It didn’t take long for us to find a rhythm that seemed somehow perfect—passionate and enthusiastic but not too rough or rushed. His hands sought mine, and he linked our fingers, creating a more intense connection, one that spoke of his desire to hold my heart as much as my body.

His pace increased, and I adjusted the position of my legs, allowing him to push deeper inside me. I gasped, the new angle giving him access to that spot that made my toes curl. With each push, I felt myself on the verge of ecstasy, wanting to prolong the pleasure yet craving the release.

“I don’t know how much longer I can . . .” he said hoarsely, his muscles straining and his hands releasing mine to fist the sheets.

“It’s okay,” I rasped. “Let go.”

Our gazes locked, and the electricity that had been crackling between us since that first kiss tonight exploded. Chase stiffened as I convulsed around him, pleasure sparking through my entire body while he continued to thrust, drawing out the moment as long as possible.

With slow, deliberate movements, he pulled out and shifted to my side before collapsing. The only sounds in the room were our labored breathing and Adam Levine’s voice singing about a lazy Sunday spent in bed.

Chase tugged the sheet up over our bodies and tucked me into his side. “Love you,” he whispered, his voice full of adoration.

Laying my head on his chest, I listened to his heartbeat and relished in this new closeness between us. In his arms—skin to skin and more content than I had any right to be—it was easy to believe everything would be okay. I would cling to that belief, at least for tonight.

“Love you too.”